4th August, 8:00 AM
Taebae
Me:
Your phn is switched off, so I am
texting you rn.
Read it whenever you're free.
I'm meeting my dad today.
He's leaving tomorrow, and somehow
Patrick forced me to meet em once.
Byee
AUTHOR'S POV
She felt dizzy from the sleepless nights that she went through. This time, not entirely because of the nightmares but also because she was struggling to find inspiration for her blank canvas.
She sat each night with the brush in her hand but nothing as such struck her mind. Something that's more important than perfection in an artpiece is the thought that associates from it. And the creative quotient within her was null at the point.
They had decided to meet at a cafe and she was there on time. Taking in the whiff of the freshly brewed coffee beans and the atmosphere that was filled with soft sounds coming from the piano of their local player.
She saw her dad and stepmom sitting at the far end corner, discussing something. They were too busy to notice her, as always. She sighed as she started measuring her way to their table.
"Good morning." She greeted and they smiled back as she took the seat facing them. There was painful silence till the waitress came breaking it, asking for the order.
"Three cups of black coffee please-"
"Ahh.. A caramel macchiato for me" she interrupted her father.
"Two black coffee and one caramel macchiato?" The waitress confirmed and left after authentication.
"Sorry, I don't drink black coffee" she said, a slight bit embarrassed.
"Its okay sweetie" her stepmom replied with a reassuring smile but that only led to her widened eyes at the unfamiliarity of the situation.
"Kaylie, I did a great wrong. I know. But you don't have to punish yourself for my wrongs." His breathing hitched as his throat became heavy while she was listening intently to what they had to say, still not meeting their eyes.
"We know Kaylie, its not that easy for a girl your age to live alone" her mother's hand cupped Kaylie's as she added, "come back to us darling. This time, we'll commit no sin. You need us, we need you."
"No I don't." She jerked off her stepmom's grip from her hands, finally she spoke all the venom she was carrying in her heart for so long and she had to throw it out someday, "I don't need you anymore. You were the one who made me an orphan then good enough. I cried and longed for you back then, you never answered my calls. And you know for what I despise you the most?
If you wanted to make me an orphan, why not leave me in an orphanage when I was 11? Why was I left all alone? I never wanted anything, not that dark house, not that school fees. I just wanted someone by my side. Anyone! Literally anyone! I would have been better there. I have so much hate filled in me right now. Hearing your words just increase the want in me to contradict you-"
Her speech was halted by the waitress serving the drinks. She sighed, trying to calm herself. 'I am being stupid. Nothing they said was that intimidating. Why am I reacting like this?' she thought subconsciously.
"Look, we are leaving tomorrow. The business there needs us, but I cannot leave you alone-"
"Leave me be. Like you always have."
"Kaylie, at least work at the shop as an employee. We can to the least pay you. Your college fees and all, how will you manage it?"
The grip on her glass tightened, 'so that's what they want?' she thought, what her stepmom wanted to say was perceived with the most negative meaning it could have or the words she used weren't appropriate.
"You want me to work for you?" She scoffed. "I don't want to, not even an employer - employee relationship. And as far as my fees is concerned, you already cleared it by making me an orphan. So. I guess my work here is done."
"You are getting us wrong. We just want you to be financially stable."
'Money? Finance? Huh? Materialistic people.' She spoke under her breath.
"Have a safe trip, sorry for being rude but I wanted to say all this since so long. And for the answer, I need more time and then too I am not sure if I could ever forgive you."
With this, she got up and left the cafe. It was raining outside and she was grateful for it. She had always been a pluviophile, they say people who hate being alone love rain, as they can be alone yet the sound of raindrops falling and the earthly smell never lets you feel that way; that's what we call being in nature's womb.
She walked ahead, letting the cold drop drop on her warm self which at first sent shivers down her spine but later became so soothing. She sat on one of the benches in the nearby park.
She sighed heavily as she knew this moment would not last forever; for the velvet sky that was outstretched above her was a sickly tar filling her lungs as she inhaled, and the clouds of cotton were filled with poison that would sting her eyes until she chokes on the pain of holding back her tears. Nothing could prepare her for what was about to come, and she knew that. So there she sat, breathing in the toxic empyrean and letting the raindrops of venom intertwine with her years of heartbreak.
What she needed was clearing her mind. She laid down on the bench, one arm forming a pillow and other swaying down, not bothering what people may think, she never did. The dizziness soon took over her as her eyelids became heavy bearing the weight of the decision she just made hoping she won't regret it later.
She let the wave of fatigue ride over her as she closed her eyes feeling the soft drops on her face, hoping they could smudge her into the scenery for a short time span and paint her again, with brighter colors.
END OF AUTHOR'S POV
KAYLIE'S POV
When I was little, home meant the house I drew in crayon on white printer paper, the one that was supposed to look like the place I lived in. Home
meant where I came back to after school every day to eat my snack and do my school work.
But now more and more I find that home is such a different concept. Home is not where I sleep most nights, it is not the house with a family who never talks. Not the place I pretend I'm fine and smile so they won't hear the truth rattling behind my teeth. Home is my best friends in the whole wide world, laughing with them so hard our stomachs hurt. Home is the bookstore I go to every day after school to study and read. Home is all the music I listen to when I'm sad. Home is calling Tae and discussing my life with him for hours and exchanging our ideologies when both of us have no idea how to console each other but simply talking makes us so relieved. Home is not a house, it is everything else.
My eyes jolted open due to the exhilaration I felt in that moment.
"Eureka!!" I exclaimed gaining attention of the nearby people. I bowed and mouthed a little 'sorry' for disturbing them but that didn't fade my delectation.
Inspiration, I got it.