TEN.
SUDDEN DEATH
The room echoed with the sound of knuckles hitting bone and steel, punctuated by muffled thumps and groans. Every noise was amplified in the hollow structure, the low ceilings doing nothing to stop cracks and cries from ringing out.
The ceiling was supported by heavy steel pillars covered in red and white targets and silhouettes, riddled with old bullet holes. The only light came from the panels of fluorescent lights up above, illuminating the figures sparring below. The air was stale and metallic, and smelled like sweat and blood.
Bex loved it.
She loved the way her heart leapt to life, pumping with adrenaline, and the bruises stamped on her skin like medals. The Arena was where combat training took place, day after day. They spent hours down here in the damp darkness, fists colliding. Merlin subjected them to drills similar to medieval torture techniques as they did push-up after push-up and pummeled punching bag after punching bag. They ran endless miles, but Bex didn't even really mind anymore. With every kick and hit she felt her body growing stronger, until she no longer ached when she came home.
And after ten long months, home was what it was.
Without realizing it, she had slowly fallen into a routine. She was growing used to the rough sheets on her cot, the half light that seeped over the horizon during early-morning target practice, the sound of Eggsy's laugh in her ear. Even Merlin and his stupid clipboard were familiar to her.
"Giving up so soon?" A voice broke through her thoughts.
Eggsy's grinning face loomed over from where she sat on the edge of one of the many blue mats lining the floor. Bex had flopped down there after going up against Roxy, a purple bruise slowly forming on her chin as proof. She grinned. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, feeling the constant sheen of sweat that coated her body during combat training. The damp humidity of the Arena left everything covered in a thin layer of moisture.
"You wish," Bex scoffed, climbing back to her feet and joining him in the center of the mat.
She raised her fists in a decisive stance as they circled one another. Her pulse echoed in her ears as she flexed her fingers and breathed out. Eggsy watched her, his gray eyes flicking up and down, trying to anticipate her. He lunged forward and she quickly sidestepped his arm as it swung in an arc.
"Cute," she remarked, throwing her elbow into his chest.
He blocked three of her punches, grabbing her fists and straining to hold them.
"I am cute, thank you for noticing."
Bex twisted her arm out of his hold, aiming her fist upward until it made contact with his nose. He let out a grunt and she grinned triumphantly until he hooked his leg around her ankle and jerked, throwing her to the floor. She hit the mat with a thud, feeling the air leave her lungs.
"I haven't seen your head in a while," she gasped. "Must be because it's been so far up your ass recently."
She jumped to her feet, assuming her earlier stance. He dodged her punches, blocking them with his palms. "Been admiring my ass?" smirked Eggsy.
Bex whirled around, landing a kick to his stomach. He doubled over, letting out a noise and she stood for a moment with her chest heaving. "More like kicking it," she said.
He straightened up, rolling his neck to the side and cracking it. Eggsy darted forward again. She brought up an arm and twisted, a loud crack echoing as she stopped his fists. Bex reached up to his neck, but he grabbed her forearm and turned until she was pinned against him. She was trapped between his heaving chest and the arms wrapped around her.
For a moment, something blurred in her mind and she forgot where she was and what she was doing. Bex could feel every curve and dip of his body pressed up against her spine, the hard planes of his chest rising and falling. She felt Eggsy swallow hard, and as he exhaled, his breath was hot, skimming over her neck. Something stirred in her, making her stomach twist. A shiver ran down Bex's spine, goosebumps forming on her arms despite the damp air, until she snapped back into reality.
She blinked hard, the room coming back into focus, and the weight of Eggsy's arms became nothing but a threat again.
Bex stomped down on his foot, then jammed her elbow up into Eggsy's nose. He jerked back, and she ducked out from under his grasp. Bex grabbed his arm and pulled, her muscles straining as she flipped him over her back. He hit the mat with an echoing thud, and he let out a strangled noise as the air was knocked out of his lungs. She stood above him, chest heaving.
Her cheeks were burning. Every muscle in her body was rigid and her mind was screaming with the sound of a thousand little alarms telling her to step away. She bit her lip, hard. Bex told herself it didn't matter. She would get over it.
She stepped off the mat and wiped the sweat from her brow. She couldn't help but feel as if some sort of line had just been crossed, and she wasn't sure she was going to like what was on the other side.
Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Eggsy roll to his feet. "Good fight," she said stiffly, then turned around, awkwardly tugging a curl behind her ear.
He opened his mouth to say something, but Bex was already walking away.
Merlin clapped his hands together, motioning for them to gather around. The candidates pulled themselves off the sticky mats and formed a semi-circle around him. Eggsy moved to stand next to her, but Bex edged away, ignoring the hurt look on his face.
"Good work today," said Merlin. "Drills are going well. Now, I'll be pairing you off for independent combat. Remember, these matches are meant to simulate a sudden death match, so fights will only be terminated when one person concedes or is left unable to fight further."
He glanced down at his clipboard at the list of names. "Eggsy and Roxy. Digby and Rufus. Bex and Charlie-"
"What?" Bex cried out, turning to Merlin accusingly.
Charlie stepped forward, a scowl on his face. "No way. I'm not fighting against her."
"Don't worry we won't have to fight for long," Bex retorted. "I'll beat you quickly."
Merlin held up his hands. "No arguments. You two will compete in sudden death, or you will pack up your things."
They both pressed their lips together, glaring across the small space. "Fantastic," said Merlin. "Mat four."
Bex walked over slowly, facing Charlie as her toes shifted on the blue material of the mat. There was a swooping sensation of nerves in her stomach. He stared her down, a confident smirk playing at the edges of his lips. He cracked his knuckles and raised his fists. She did the same, her heart pounding as she waited for Merlin to blow to whistle to signal the start of the sudden death.
Everyone stood, poised and ready, eyes full of tension. Then the sharp shrill pitch of the whistle rang through the air and the room sprang to life as candidates rushed into battle. Bex held back, even as Charlie edged forward. She knew he would strike first. He always did.
Sure enough, he lunged forward, and Bex grabbed his arm, using his momentum to throw him off. Charlie let out a grunt, ripping her arms off of him. He swung up, and she blocked it with an arm, but his other fist came from the other side and she didn't have time to dodge it. His knuckles collided with her chin, but despite the stinging pain, Bex didn't give him the satisfaction of wincing.
She drove her fists towards his chest, but he was stronger than her and twice her size. Back where she came from, this wouldn't be such a problem, but Merlin had outlawed her street fighting techniques, replacing them with his own defensive moves. Still, Bex managed to land a blow to Charlie's cheekbone, grinning when he staggered backwards.
Her smile disappeared when Charlie looked up again, his eyes dark with anger. "Now, I don't think Merlin taught you that move," he said in a slow, goading voice. "Learn that on the streets?"
Bex felt a familiar ripple of irritation, but she stifled it. She wouldn't let Charlie distract her. He blocked another one of her punches, and she felt the frustration rising in her. She twisted his arm, throwing an elbow to her chest, and they were left face to face.
"Or maybe you learned it at home," he snarled, out of breath.
Bex's grip faltered at those words, and he ducked out of her grasp, grabbing her waist knocking her to the ground. The air left her lungs as she slammed against the mat, leaving her wheezing and furious.
"Someone told me your family wasn't exactly picture perfect," Charlie continued. "Is your father the reason you're so fucked up?"
He landed a blow on her nose, and she felt a sharp, white-hot pain. She nearly choked as blood rushed from the skin, which was already beginning to bruise. Bex glared up at him with scorching anger and hooked his ankles, causing him to stumble. She drew her arm back for another hit, but he spun and grabbed her wrist. He bent it back, and a flare of pain rushed up her arm.
"Oh, no, I forgot," he said lazily. "Daddy's dead, isn't he?"
Bex's blood began to bubble under skin and the fury in her began to stir. The blood roared in her ears and her vision seemed almost tinged with red as she lunged towards Charlie. She took his punch to the shoulder, and thrust her knuckles up to meet his windpipe. He choked, grabbing his throat and stepping back unsteadily. Anger made her fists shake as she wrapped her legs around his waist, twisting until he was thrown against the mat. Charlie lay there for a moment, face screwed up in pain, and Bex bent over, catching her breath.
Bex closed her eyes, trying to quell the rage that demanded that she rip him from limb to limb. Her nails dug into her fists so far she could felt them pierce the skin of her palms. Her heart was pounding so fiercely she thought it would bruise her ribs.
"Makes sense, though," he panted, vicious words punctuated by breaths. "Screw-ups always come from screwed-up families."
He grinned, and she could see his bloody gums. His voice lowered to a whisper.
"Do you drink, Rebecca? I wouldn't if I were you. You wouldn't want to end up like your mother."
Those words slammed into her chest like another fist, leaving her gasping for air. How did he know? He couldn't know, he couldn't-
"It's truly a pity about your father, although who even knows if he really was your dad. Who knows who that slag fucked before-"
Bex's vision went white as she lunged forward, her blood roaring. The anger simmering under her skin surfaced as her heart burst with rage. She let out a yell as she threw herself on top of Charlie.
"How dare you-" she choked out.
They rolled, and she sat on his chest, driving a fist into his stomach. Bex gritted her teeth, furious tears stinging her eyes. She punched Charlie in the face, watching as his head fell to the side and slammed against the mat. She didn't stop. Bex punched him over and over, her knuckled stained with blood as she trembled with fury.
She didn't even hear someone shouting her name until a pair of arms were pulling her off Charlie. He rolled to his side, choking and spitting out blood onto the cobalt mat. Bex tugged against the strong arms holding her back.
"Let me go!" she yelled.
"Bex, stop," Eggsy urged, shushing her and pinning her with his arms.
He repeated her name until the anger left her body and the red faded from her gaze. Bex pushed him away from her. She looked up to see everyone staring at her. Rufus bent over Charlie, helping him sit up, sending Bex an accusing glare. Roxy looked at her, and Bex turned away.
She stumbled to her feet, shoving away the hand Eggsy offered her. She wiped the blood pouring from her nose roughly, the crimson mingling with the blood already on her hand. She looked down at it and felt sick.
Bex got off the mat and began to walk towards the door, feeling a headache building in her temples.
"Bex!" Eggsy called after her, but she kept walking, shaking her head.
She pushed open the door, walking so quickly she was practically running. Bex staggered down the hallway, biting her lip to stop the angry tears welling up in her eyes from spilling over. Bex breathed deeply, but frustration got the better of her. She slammed her fist into the wall, feeling the pain that traveled up her fingers. Her arm gave out and she slumped forward, leaning her forehead against the cool metal. She had lost it. She had lost it, and now she had lost her chance.
And, said the little voice in her head. You've lost him.
☂
Eggsy watched Bex leave. As soon as she was gone, his arms felt strangely empty without her in them. Silence echoed throughout the space, punctuated by a few murmurs. Charlie was sitting up, the cuts on his face doing little to cover his smirk.
"Crazy bitch," he muttered.
Eggsy felt his muscles tense up at those words and he gritted his teeth. He marched over and pushed past Rufus, grabbing Charlie by the collar. His knuckles were white against the material of Charlie's shirt, blackened by blood. "Bex was nice enough not to kill you," he hissed. "But keep talking like that, and I will."
He let him go, and turned on his heel and walked out of the Arena before he did something he regretted.
Eggsy pushed open the door, leaving behind a room full of silence. He ventured down the hallway, turning his head as he searched for a familiar head of brown tangles.
"Bex?" he called out.
There was no answer, only his own voice echoing back to greet him. He walked through identical hallways, one after another. He broke into a jog, his heart beginning to thud in his chest.
Then he rounded the corner and saw her, a small figure crumpled against the wall. Eggsy let out a breath of relief he hadn't realized he'd been holding.
He knelt down, putting a hand on her shoulder tentatively, but Bex refused to look at him. Her small spine was curled forward, her head in her hands.
"Hey," he said gently.
She looked up at him, and the look on her face made his heart ache. Her cheeks were stained with tears and blood, a piece of hair falling in front of her brown eyes, which were shining with pain. Her face was wet with tears he couldn't wipe away, dirty with grit he couldn't wash off, marred with cuts he couldn't mend. He pushed the piece of hair aside, looking down at her.
"Hey, it's okay."
Bex turned away, quickly wiping her eyes. "Why are you here, Eggsy?" she asked.
His eyebrows knit together in confusion. "I'm here because you're my friend. Do I need any other reason?"
"Please, go away," she said, turning away. Eggsy ignored her and slid down until he was sitting next to her. "If you stay you're only going to get hurt by all this shit."
"Hey, I'm a tough guy."
"I didn't mean physically. Eggsy, you don't understand. I just kept hitting him and hitting him. Everyone around me...they always get hurt. I don't mean to, it just happens. That's why I wanted to be doctor, you know? Heal people for once, instead of making them worse."
Bex let out a bitter laugh.
"I didn't know you wanted to be a doctor," he said.
"Yeah," she said. "I was good at it too. Got a full ride scholarship to Oxford, but it-it didn't work out."
He looked over at her, swallowing hard.
"I never went to uni either. Dropped out of the military."
"I ran away seven times. I never made it out."
They sat in silence for a moment. Bex was staring at the wall like she didn't even see him.
"It was my mom," she said softly.
He didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue. There was a strange look on her face, and he was afraid he spoke she would go silent again.
"Didn't even make it to the tube station before she dragged me back. She had drunk herself into oblivion, a-and she was so angry. I mean, she's always drunk and she's always angry. But that was the first time she ever-...she ever-"
Her voice broke off. She was rubbing the scar on her wrist. Bex always did that when she was anxious or upset, but he suddenly felt sick imagining how she had gotten it. Wondering if there were other scars he'd never seen.
"Bex."
She wouldn't look at him. He grabbed her chin and turned her face towards him gently. Her skin was soft under his palm, his thumb resting too close to her lower lip, and he felt his heart jump. It seemed to do that far too often these days.
But Eggsy shoved that feeling down deep inside of him. Bex needed a friend. She needed a different kind of love from him. So he would be her friend, and nothing else.
"Bex, none of this is your fault."
"But it is," she whispered. "She tells me. S-She says 'None of this would've happened without you. It's all- it's all-'"
She stopped, her voice cracking. Bex turned her face to the ceiling, blinking back tears.
"How am I supposed to fix things when the only thing I'm good at is breaking them?"
Eggsy was suddenly overcome with a rush of anger. He was furious that someone could hurt Bex so deeply, could turn her into this shell of a person. His heart was pounding with a fierce determination to protect her, one that had nothing to do with the way his pulse fluttered when he was around her. Eggsy pulled her against him tightly, burying his face in her hair.
Bex's arms lay limp for a minute, but then they were encircling him. She was squeezing him so tightly he could barely breathe. She shut her eyes and rested her head on his collarbone.
"You're going to be okay, Bex. It sounds crazy, but the truth is, one day your past going to be just that. Past. You're not going to forget, I won't tell you that, but one day remembering won't hurt."
"How can I forget everything that's happened? She's everything that's ever happened to me. I don't even know who I am without my past."
"Well, you could let someone help you, for once," he murmured.
Bex let out a long breath and nodded slightly.
"Maybe," she said.
Her arm lay in his lap, resting inches away from his own. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to lace his own fingers through hers.
But he didn't. They were friends, and for now that was enough.
───────
a quick note:
quick list of things that suck:
1. this chapter
2. me
this chapter got so mushy and i don't even know how. i just wanted to write about bex kicking ass and i ended up with a mini mental breakdown. oh well, bex and eggsy are still cute and i want them to make babies