We had to get there early for soundcheck, my dressing room was right next to the boys' which was fun, I was really excited to perform in the same place as them. The only problem was that we were nominated for the same award, single of the year, it was falling for you against story of my life.
Tina already knew who the winner was, but she decided to keep it a secret from us. It was a fun and healthy competition with them.
"I need you to get on the van, right now," I heard Paul screaming in the hall, so I also walked out of my dressing room, Joe was way more chill than Paul when it came to timing.
"You'll get wrinkles if you keep getting mad at them," I stood next to Paul crossing my arms.
"I think you coming to our show's will be the reason of my wrinkles and gray hairs," he smirked, "That's a risk I'm not willing to pay,"
"Well, I have my own tour now," I shrunk my shoulders laughing, "I won't be crashing your show's that often,"
"Thank God," he sighed in relief, "I'm kidding, we'll miss having you around,"
"You could avoid missing me by joining my team," I joked.
"I'll pass on that one," I crossed my arms pretending to be offended and the boys finally walked out, they were all dressed in black.
"Why are you mad, babe?" Harry hugged me from the waist.
"Ignore her, it's just a tantrum," Paul laughed as we started walking to the van that would take us to the red carpet.
"You look like a prince," I told Harry who was wearing a black coat with golden details, "I love the hat with the long hair,"
"And you're my princess," he laughed, "I'm sorry, too cheesy,"
"Too cheesy," I agreed laughing.
When we got out of the van, Lou had to add some finishing touches to the boys' hair, they didn't get a chance to finish getting ready because they kept fooling around in my dressing room, Lou was clearly irritated by having to fix their hair in public.
I posed for paparazzi alone, then Harry joined me for some pictures and then I had to step out for them to get band pictures but Louis pulled me in for a picture with them too.
"Alex, move," Tina told me when she realized what we were doing.
"Louis kidnapped me," he didn't let go of my arm.
"We want her to be our sixth member," Louis told her laughing.
We were all screaming because the place was really loud, but the reporters looked amused with our little fight against management.
"Alex, please," Tina begged, "We need a picture of them alone,"
"Tina, I promise I'm trying but Louis won't let me go," I laughed trying to free from his grip, "Louis, let go of my arm," I just couldn't stop laughing about the whole situation.
"Only if you accept we'll be wining against you," Liam walked to my side and grabbed my other arm.
"I'm not going to say that, because I'm going to win," I gave them an ironical smile.
"Then you're not leaving," Zayn shrunk his shoulders.
"It's easy Slushy, just accept we're better," Niall screamed from the other side of the group.
"Tina, please tell them to let me go," I whined, "Harry tell them to let me go, we have to go inside,"
"Just admit it, babe," he said with a mischievous smile.
"Fine," I screamed really loud so media could get it on camera, "One Direction is better and they'll win the award," they let go of my arms, "Of the biggest losers of the night," I ran away from them laughing.
"That was amazing," Paul fist bumped me.
"Tina is probably going to kill them," my stomach was hurting from laughing so hard, "But they completely earned it,"
"They just gave directioners amazing content, she won't kill them," he said, "They are in love with your friendship with the boys,"
"Really?" I couldn't hide my blush.
"In love, Alex, they're always talking about how you guys act like siblings," he explained laughing, "It's not cool to blush," he mocked me.
"Well, what you said was amazing content for my fan self," I shrunk my shoulders and walked to Harry.
We had to stop at different spots for interviews, but then we finally made it inside. We were sitting close to the stage so we could go get our awards if we won.
Taylor Swift opened the awards with an amazing performance of Blank Space, it made me nervous, the stage and dancers were just crazy, I had dancers too and everything looked good to me, but what if it wasn't enough?
"Now I'm scared," I whispered to Harry.
"It was the opening, other performances will be less extra," he explained covering his mouth, he was probably scared cameras were on us.
"I do hope they make more regular performances," I also covered my mouth, Pitbull was onstage giving the opening speech but I couldn't get a word of what he was saying, I was too nervous to pay attention.
"You'll be great, calm down," he kissed my cheeks and we turned out attention to the stage.
"Uh, Mc. Dreamy," I saw Patrick Dempsey take the stage, and then the category appeared behind him, "Oh my god, if you win please tell him I love him,"
"I'm not doing that," Harry laughed.
Just like I imagined, they won and walked onstage to get the award, I'm guessing Harry did tell Patrick because he waved at me right after shaking hands with my boyfriend, I felt like a little girl sitting there.
The boys went backstage after the award and it scared me to stay there sitting alone, but they came back almost immediately. Charly XCX performed and her stage was also impressive making me nervous, again.
Rude was next and their stage was a little more normal which made me feel a little better, Harry kept making fun of me for being nervous, I was starstruck with everyone in the place and just thinking about them watching me onstage made me lose my breath.
When 5 seconds of summer performed I felt a little better, seeing familiar faces around was helpful. Jay and her husband also joined us so it was cool, I have people I knew to watch while I performed.
"Let's go Alex," Joe and I walked backstage for me to change into my performance outfit, all the dancers were ready and we just needed to wait for our turn.
I changed into my glitter rainbow dress and waited on the legs of the stage for my turn, they used a commercial break to set up the stage and everything for me to perform. It was also my first time performing with my new dancers, it was exciting.
The music started and I followed the choreography and lead vocals in my in-ear. Once I sang the first note, all my nervousness went away and I really enjoyed the show. My stage did look great and people new the lyrics, they were singing and dancing along, everything was perfect, I also loved my connection with the dancer, we made a great team.
When my performance was over, I changed into my red carpet dress and went back to my seat. Harry welcomed me with a tight hug and told me I was amazing, he said it was his favorite performance of the night... but he's my boyfriend, of course he'd say that.
I saw Kendall, Kylie and Khloe go onstage and it was amazing, more familiar faces, it was a huge surprise when I saw they were presenting an award I was nominated for, "And the winner for favorite pop/rock female artist is my Alex Hudson," Kylie said smiling, before I could even realize I won, I had the boys' arms wrapped around me in a group hug.
I pulled out of their embrace and went onstage to get my award, "Oh my god, I'm really excited to be here," I started, "For starters I want to thank my friends and family for always supporting, my team for their amazing job and of course the fans, thanks for voting and getting us this, this is our award,"
I walked off stage with Kendall, Khloe and Kylie and handed Joe the award. We stayed backstage catching up for a while and then headed back to our seats. One Direction got another award and then they were sent backstage to get ready for their performance, I won another award for new artist of the year and then the boys performed Night Changes.
We ended up making a bet, if I won, they'd have to post a picture of me with a long text about why they love me, but if they won, I had to post a picture them with a long text explaining why One Direction should've the 8th wonder of the world.
"And the winner of single of the year is Alex Hudson with Falling For You," I was excited for the award, but it was my victory over the boys' that made me really happy.
I walked onstage and gave a short thank you speech, "Harry, we wrote this song together so this award is ours, boys, I won the bet, so sorry. Thank you so much for voting everyone, I love you cherries,"
The next day, my life went back to the crazy schedule, I rehearsed everyday from 9 to 1, then worked on some other details for the tour, interviews, photoshoots, meetings with the team... Harry was also working all day so we'd meet at home for dinner and sleep together.
I suggested he moved in with me since he was there all the time anyway, but he said he'd think about it and I didn't want to push him.
One night, Mark called me to his office saying there was something serious he wanted to discuss, when I walked in Will and Rachel were there with all the camera crew recording, "We didn't say anything because we didn't want you to feel overwhelmed," Mark started.
"But your music was submitted for the Grammy Awards, nominees will be announced tomorrow morning," Will said smiling, my body stopped working when I heard that.
"There's a big chance you'll be nominated at least for one award," Tina explained, everyone was really happy but I just couldn't process it.
"Are you for real?" I asked in shock.
"We're not completely sure you'll be nominated, but there's a possibility," Will hugged, "Aren't you happy?"
"Yes, I'm in shock," I laughed, "Everything's happening so fast,"
"Go home, get some rest and the camera crew will be there at 7:00, I'm supposed to get the call around 7:30 if you're nominated," Joe patted my back with a proud smile.
"I don't think I'll be able to sleep after this," I laughed, "Let's hope for the best, see you tomorrow,"
When I got home I shared the big news with Harry and he was really excited too, there was also a slight chance he could get a certificate if I was nominated for album of the year or even song of the year with Falling for you.
"Stop thinking about me winning too," he laughed when we finally went to bed around midnight, "This is your time to shine, enjoy it,"
"I don't even know how to feel about this," I confessed laughing, "There's nothing certain, but I can help but be excited,"
"You'll be nominated, and you'll get an award babe," he turned off the light and cuddled with me, "Have a little faith in yourself,"
I couldn't really sleep, I kept waking up in nervousness... if I don't get a nomination everything stays the same, but if I do, things will keep getting bigger and as much as it made me feel excited, it's also a little scary.
"Where are you going?" Harry asked from the bed.
"I'm taking a shower," I tried to be silent not to wake him up, but he always feels when I'm not in bed next to him.
"What time is it?" He asked in his hot raspy morning voice.
"6:30," I closed the bathroom door and got ready for a quick shower.
Even though I barely slept, adrenaline was making me feel really awake and with a lot of energy, I did everything so fast that it took me 25 minutes to be dressed with my makeup done.
"I wish you'd get ready this fast everyday," Harry pecked my lips when I stepped out of the bathroom, "There's coffee in the kitchen,"
"Thanks," he walked inside the bathroom and I made my way to the kitchen for my coffee, I poured some in my favorite cup and decided to calm down and just enjoy that moment.
Once the crew was set, Harry and I sat in the living room in front of the cameras waiting for Joe to call, every minute felt like eternity, "Stop shaking," Harry laughed.
"You could be nominated with me, so you better start shaking too," I wrapped my arms around my folded legs, "Why isn't he calling? It's 7:30,"
"No matter what happens today, you'll always be a winner to me," he hugged me softly trying to stop my nerves.
"This is not the time to be cheesy babe," I blurted out, "I'm sorry I said-" my phone rang, "Oh my god, it's Joe," I turned to Harry with wide eyes.
"Answer," he laughed.
"I can't," I covered my mouth, he just shook his head and picked up the phone putting it on speaker for me to hear, "Hi, Joe,"
"Alex," he sounded serious, I looked at Harry and his face was expressionless, I probably didn't get a nomination, "I'm sorry, but you got six nominations," he raised his voice in excitement.
"Oh my god," I screamed with tearful eyes, everything around me became blurry.
"For what awards?" Harry asked him with a huge smile still holding on to me.
"Best Pop Solo Performance, Best Pop Vocal Album, Album of the year, Record of the year, Song of the year and Best New Artist," I had never heard Joe so excited, "You are tied with Sam Smith, Beyonce and Pharrell Williams with the most nominations,"
"What am I supposed to do?" I laughed drying my tears with the sleeves of my hoodie.
"You can't tell anyone until they release the official list, but you have to celebrate, Mark, Will, Tina and I are on our way," I heard Will cheering in the back, "See you in a few minutes,"
Harry had asked Alan to get McDonald's breakfast for everyone so we just made a little more coffee for the television crew and my team. Of course once everyone was there, we made our tradition more special than ever, everyone in the apartment was required to have champagne for breakfast.
"I've been thinking about that moving in situation," Harry told me once everyone left.
"I don't want you to feel pressured, it was just a thought," I climbed under the covers, it was a very long and emotional day.
"My lease ends in January, so I think it would be great," he rolled to his side to face me, "I'm unofficially living here anyway,"
"I'll move some of my things to the guest room closet then," I kissed him, "I'm excited, it will be good for us,"
"I'm excited too, but it will be weird to be in your apartment when you're on tour and I'm not," he laughed.
"But it's not going to be my apartment, it's going to be our apartment," I buried my face on his chest, "It's not like you're going to be my guest,"
"Are you sure about this?" I nodded pulling him closer to me, "Let's do it then, lets move in together,"
Harry and the boys went to Madrid again, around the same time we were there the year before, this time, I was really busy making sure all the choreography, wardrobe changes and other stuff for the tour were perfect.
I wasn't able to fly to London until December 23rd with Will and Rachel. Harry had gone home to spend Christmas with his family so we weren't going to see each other until New Years was over and we met back in LA. This time, I wasn't scared to be away from him... there was no anxiety, we became used to distance after having to hide a relationship for months.
"Why did you reject the offer for One Direction's tour?" Dad asked Will who looked surprised someone knew about that.
"Did you reject it to work on my documentary?" He nodded, "Will, you want to be a manager, not a filmmaker, why would you do that?" I was happy to have him and Rachel around in California, but doing it felt like he was taking a step back from success.
"When Mark mentioned the documentary, I asked him to give me that project instead of the assistant tour manager position," he explained calmly.
"He wants to prove his worth to Mark," Rachel added shaking her head.
"If he trusts me, I'll get real responsibilities, being Paul's bitch and being your boyfriend's babysitter is not my dream," it made sense, but I still didn't feel like it was the right choice.
"The documentary will release and you won't have a job," I tried to open his eyes, he had real responsibilities in the London office and he gave up everything for a documentary.
"Of course I'll have a job, I'm sure I will be working on One Direction's next tour," he gave me a reassuring smile, "But I want it to be a real job,"
"I'm not sure about that," dad chuckled making all of us turn to him, "I don't think there will be another One Direction tour,"
"Excuse me?" I almost choke with wine when he said that.
"Mark told me they were starting to plan a bigger tour for next year, but they were asked to put it in pause," dad said calmly, I felt like my soul was going to leave my body, "The boys are tired, and some of them want to focus on personal projects,"
"Who's exactly some of them?" I was alarmed, just thinking about the band being over made me sick, I needed them.
"Zayn, he has lawyers trying to get him out of the contract," my heart stopped, "They won't be able to, but I think everyone knows this is their last tour... no one talks about it, but the whole team is aware that the boys have reached their limit,"
"But they make the company a lot of money," Will was as shocked as I was.
"They're people, who have worked their asses off for the last 4 years and deserve a break, it's not going to be something definitive, maybe a year or two," Dad explained, "Don't worry Alex, everything is going to be fine,"
"If they split up, a come back would help them make even more money," Will agreed.
"This isn't about money William, this is about my favorite band splitting up," I whined.
"Your boyfriend's band," he laughed.
"Yeah, my boyfriend's band," I crossed my arms, "You can't force them to split,"
"No one will force them, this is a decision they have to make," Dad said annoyed by my drama, "Why are we even talking about work?"
"Because all of us work at the same company," Will laughed again, but he was right, the four of us live for our jobs, what else are we supposed to talk about?
Dad was serious about not talking about work, so the conversation became pretty boring to be honest, it was just small talk about the wether and some relevant news... but all I do and everyone in the room does is work.
I really enjoyed that Christmas break, I used the time to sleep, chill, watch movies, each junk food and think about anything but the upcoming tour. The working hours in the last months had been insane and I needed to disconnect for a few days.