//Riptide Campaign :DD
Just some Gill angst innit ;')
But also fish n chips because I miss writing them ;_;
TW// I don't think there's any? But if there are please let me know!
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He's gone and done it again. Gillion fucking Tidestrider. Chip was so incredibly tired of this moronic triton getting himself into shit because he thinks he's invincible! He's a fish! Chip is alarmingly aware that he isn't invincible, so how can Gillion be invincible?! Stupid goddamn Gillion being a hero...
Chip was aware he didn't mean the thoughts he had towards Gillion. He knew that he was just scared of losing a crewmate. He knew he just wanted to look out for Gill. It's just... he's had this same talk with him so many times he's lost count! The crew had been on this island for what, a day? A day and a half? And somehow Gillion had already figured out the evil of the island and where it came from, which meant that he knew where he had to go to 'vanquish the evil and purge the impurities that plagued the people of the island'. Of course, those were Gillion's words, not Chip's.
Gillion had a very strange talent of making stupidly reckless shit sound... almost romantic? Chip wasn't sure how to put it, but every time he heard the triton's voice, it was almost as if Chip was thrown headfirst into some kind of story, where the hero is claiming that they'd protect the village from the evil warlock or something of the like. It was... it was very conflicting. On one hand, it was, and Chip wouldn't admit this to Gillion, it was charming? Gillion Tidestrider was very charming. But on the other hand, it was really annoying. Mainly because Chip had to tear himself away from the instinct to just let Gillion keep talking...
Gillion talking...
Holy shit Gillion was still talking, he was meant to be arguing with him, son of a-
"...So please, Chip. Reconsider! I need to help these innocent people..." Gillion ended his spiel with a tired sigh, it seemed as if the repetition of his points were tiring him out as well. Gillion awaited some kind of reply, but when he was met with silence, his eyes narrowed slightly at Chip, then noticing how the brunette seemed to snap out of his deep thoughts. Did Chip... not listen to him? "Chip? Were you even listening...?"
Gillion's voice was... different. Not angry but... tired. Which Chip could sympathise with, but he had spent long enough with silent reactions. "Yes! Yes, I was listening, I just... We've been over this! So many times, Gill. I don't care how far ahead you are this time in finding this evil shit or whatever, we don't know what we're up against! You're not immortal, Gill!"
Gillion seemed almost offended at this, though not for the reason that Chip assumed. "I have never claimed to be immortal! To say that would be more or less to compare me to the Gods! I am simply stating it is my duty as the Champion of the Undersea to-"
"Well, you're not in the Undersea, Gillion! You're on land. With me and Jay. It's not all about this stupid prophecy! Why are you still putting the prophecy before yourself?! You come first, I've said this before, you're strong but you still bleed. If you can bleed you can die."
Gillion was on the top deck of The Albatross, looking out to the sea quietly. It had been just about a week since Gillion had heard those words from Chip...
If you can bleed, you can die...
Of course, Gillion wasn't a fool. He knew this, it was a saying that he heard very frequently from the elders...
The elders. From his home. From the Undersea. Where he was a Champion. With a prophecy to fulfil...
The second Chip had shouted those words at Gillion, he had felt off. Gillion hated feeling off. If he wasn't 100%, then he was vulnerable. If Gillion was vulnerable, then he'd fail at completing the prophecy...
Of course his mind went back to the damn prophecy.
Wait...
Gillion shook his head, feeling his stomach drop slightly. Since when did he curse against the prophecy? This is exactly what Gillion had been fearing; ever since his and Chip's argument (though could it really be counted as an individual argument if it'd happened countless times before?) he had felt strange towards everything he would normally blindly put his entire faith in.
Even his training that morning had been feeling strange. Pretzel had picked up on it as she watched from her globe which was placed on a barrel on the top deck. She watched as Gillion half-heartedly lunged his sword, or slowly practised his footwork. It was... almost scary. The frogtopus watched as Gillion realised something was wrong, looking down at his sword for what seemed like hours. No real reaction was shown other than just blankly staring at it. And suddenly, Gillion came to a realisation... He hadn't ever really put down his sword. Of course, he had placed it to the side if he was going to sleep or the like, but he had never put it down. Never refused it. Never said no to using it against his enemies, whether it was training or a real battle. For as long as he could remember, Gillion had been told his fatal blows to his enemies would be justified, it was for the prophecy, after all. How could actions towards something so great possibly be wrong? He was a hero! He couldn't do wrong, not really.
But was that really true?
Gillion had killed... many. He had taken the lives of people's sons, daughters. That was who they were, right? They were people with families, dead or alive it didn't matter. They still had families. How could a hero take people away from their loved ones so easily? How could a hero really justify that act by saying it was all for something as indistinct as a prophecy? Gillion himself knew heroes. He was friends with people he called heroes. One of them which he held in particularly high regard was Chip. To Gillion, Chip was a hero. Chip didn't kill. In all of their time shared, Gillion had only seen Chip take a single life, and it was for self-defence... To protect Ollie...
Gillion felt himself start to shake, looking down at his hands he watched them tremble. He had to speak with Chip...
Gillion slowly backed away from the railings of The Albatross, then rushed down below deck in search of Chip. Since their fight, the two hadn't spoken much, unless it was necessary. Gillion didn't care about petty fights anymore. He considered this more than necessary.
He stopped abruptly when he saw Chip looking through a few crates of storage, seeming to check what they needed more of. Gillion took a small deep breath to keep a hold of some sense of calmness as he approached Chip.
"C-Chip, may I speak with you...? It... It is rather urgent. I fear I have... I fear I was wrong, about a lot of things..." Gillion internally cursed himself for how his voice betrayed him, shaking and cracking, giving him away. Chip stopped and looked up from the crate he was looking into, turning and meeting eyes with Gillion.
Chip looked the triton up and down, seeing how his demeanour was basically the polar opposite to how it usually was. Even after a fight, Gillion hadn't acted like this...
"Are... are you okay, Gill? You're shaking-"
"I-I don't quite know for sure... h-haha... which is alarming, because usually, I know what is bothering me." Gillion chuckled. He figured he meant to feign surety over his own emotions, but the chuckle came out weaker and made him seem even more scared than he felt already...
"Look, just-" Chip sighed softly. Of course he wanted to make sure Gillion was okay, of course he did! But Chip was stubborn. He was really stubborn. And he just couldn't shake off the feeling of annoyance he held for Gillion. He knew it'd go soon, it always did. Chip would never be able to stay annoyed at Gillion, even if he wanted to. It was basically impossible. And thanks to the conclusion he had come to a week ago, it was all down to Gillion being charming and just very... Gillion. Which he was still pissed off about. Since when did Chip waste time thinking about how charming someone was? God, he's getting soft. Long story short, Chip was still kinda pissed off with Gillion, and he supposed that came off with how he spoke.
"If this is about last week, just forget it, man. Okay? I get it, you're this chosen dude from your home and that's really important. I just want you to think more before you do stupid shit!" As Chip finished rolling his eyes, he caught a glimpse of Gillion, he seemed to think deeply about what Chip was saying, then Chip saw what looked to be like... discomfort? Disgust? He wasn't sure, but it was weird. Weird enough to make Chip double back on his asshole answer. "M'sorry, okay? I didn't mean that... Okay, well I did! But like, me wanting you to think before you do reckless things part, not the sarcastic bits- I'm just gonna stop talking. What's wrong, Gillion?" After his pathetic attempt to fix how he spoke. Chip was already exhausted.
Gillion smiled weakly at Chip's doubling back, he then shook his head and spoke up. "That is the problem, Chip, I... I have thought about what I've been doing in the past. I've been thinking very deeply, in fact. But I-I fear what I have discovered... Chip this morning, whilst I was trying to train. I... something started to feel off..." Chip stayed quiet as Gillion trailed off, it being obvious the triton was trying to desperately find his words to articulate how he was feeling.
"Chip, I do not think I... T-the prophecy, it's... What if everything I have been working towards has been wrong...?" As Gillion finally said what had been bothering him, Chip realised just how troubled his friend had become over it. Chip heard the crack in Gillion's voice, the way the question came out shakily and quietly, nearly above a whisper. Chip knew how hard this was for Gillion to even consider, even more, that this all came about from his own thinking (even if Chip did prompt this spiral, but he'd rather not take credit for this one). Even though he understood the severity of Gillion's troubles, he still failed to really know what he meant. So of course, he asked.
"R-right... Uh, Gill, what do you mean by all that?"
And so, Gillion told Chip about his time spent in the Undersea.
Gillion told Chip about the daily training, the constant studies, the repetitive and relentless exercise. The way that Gillion was expected to hold a sword from as early as he could remember. Gillion told Chip of the Elders telling him of how the prophecy was so important, even before his own life...
"E-everything is in favour of fulfilling the prophecy... That is what I was raised to believe and put my faith in. I was just a young boy who grew strong enough to wear the armour for what was believed to be the Champion's, it was for my people..! A-and then suddenly I was this... this hero, this Champion..." Chip raised a brow as Gillion trailed off again, watching as he took a small breath before continuing. "But if I am being honest, and I try so very hard to be so, I... do not feel as if I have honestly truthfully upheld these titles. I... I have taken many lives, Chip. Which I was told would be justified by being in favour of the prophecy... B-But I have seen you only take life once, and it was out of the goodness of your heart, you did it to protect Ollie..! I cannot say the same for all of the lives I have taken from this world... I... How can I honestly hold the title of a hero when I have done so many wrongs in the name of a prophecy..?!" Gillion's voice raised as he spoke, Chip not flinching once as he just listened. He just sat on a nearby barrel near the crates of storage and listened to Gillion. That's all he could do for the time being.
Gillion continued. "Chip, fighting has been all I've known. Of course, I have spoken out to others to do good and stay on the path of purity, but that was not in my training... all I know is to fight for a prophecy I do not fully know of. To use violence as a deterrent for evil, for anything that is not inherently pure and good..! But I am beginning to doubt my beliefs in destiny and the prophecy... I am beginning to doubt myself, Chip I... Destiny, the prophecy and fighting are all I truly know, without them I am... nothing. I am just me. But I do not know who that is without my beliefs. I-I cannot be one without the other... S-So I come to you to ask for your help, Chip..." Chip's brows furrowed at this, watching Gillion.
"Wh-" Gillion continued, ignoring Chip's confused expression.
"Pl-Please, Chip, tell me how to lay my sword down... tell me how to be separate from m-my prophecy and destiny..." As Gillion began to plead, Chip felt that instinct to rush over to him, but this time he didn't hesitate or fight it. He quickly got up from where he had been sitting and wrapped his arms around the still trembling Gillion Tidestrider. He tightened his grip around Gillion's body as he felt the triton hide his face in Chip's shoulder, feeling his shoulders slump as his tremblings got more severe. "I-I never asked to be this hero, I-I... I miss my home, m-my sister... but I cannot go back until fulfilling a prophecy or destiny I do not fully believe in..!" As Gillion continued, his words got more and more incomprehensible through his sobs. Chip didn't know what else he could do other than continue to hold the crying triton, trying to get him to calm down to the best of his abilities.
Chip sighed quietly, rubbing circles into Gillion's back as he held him. As much as Chip hated to admit to being caught off guard... he was very caught off guard. Chip had never seen Gillion so hysterical before. Sure, he'd seen him upset or sad, but even then it was hard to realise until Gillion actually said something. Despite his very honest nature, it was hard to read Gillion Tidestrider, so Chip had just resorted to waiting for him to come clean about how he was feeling if something was troubling him. Admittedly, Chip could say this strategy had worked out, but if that meant Gillion would bottle things up to the point where he breaks down like this? Then Chip decided he'd rethink a way to communicate with Gillion...
"It's gonna be okay, Gill. I promise. J-just uh... Just try and breathe, okay? Like this..." Keeping his voice soft and quiet, Chip started to control his own breathing, taking long deep breaths for Gillion to copy as an example. For a few seconds, he was worried that Gillion couldn't find a way to copy his breathing, but thankfully he noticed how Gillion was attempting to copy Chip's breathing after a few seconds of the instruction. Of course, it took him a minute or two, but Chip was okay with that. He'd be there for Gillion for as long as he had to be. Gillion was the first to try and help others, but now Chip was finally able to help him.
The two stayed like this for a few minutes, though during the time Gillion seemed to be putting more of his weight into Chip's hold, causing the both of them to kneel on the floor of the lower deck. Chip still kept his hold of Gillion as Gillion still hid his face into Chip's shoulder, he had also started hugging himself, his arms around his stomach. Chip continued to rub circles into Gillion's back and continued to take deep breaths for the triton to copy. Gillion had been doing well with copying Chip's breathing, his deep breaths coming out shakily, but they were good all the same. The silence between the two apart from quiet sniffles or Chip's mumbles of reassurance was comfortable and was eventually broken by Chip when he felt Gillion's breathing get more and more controlled.
"Hey, you feeling better, Gill?" He glanced down at the still hidden face of Gillion, waiting patiently for a reply.
"...I-I think I am... I am feeling better. Other than being slightly lightheaded, but I suppose that is to be expected..." Chip smiled as he felt the weight slowly lift off of him, meeting the eyes of Gillion for the first time in probably twenty minutes? He noted how his eyes were puffy, and the fact that he wasn't able to spot any tear stains, though he couldn't exactly be surprised.
"Yeah, no that's uh... that's pretty normal. Just keep taking some deep breaths and take it easy... I'll stick around till you're feeling better." And with this, Chip sat more comfortable in front of Gillion, crossing his legs and watching as Gillion slowly sat in a more comfortable position as well.
"Y-You do not need to stay with me for more than you already have, Chip. You have helped me much already, and I came to you whilst you were busy, I-"
"Nope. Just sit and chill out, man. Besides, you said you wanted my help, right? So, here it is." Chip grinned at Gillion, watching as he saw a small smile slowly appear on Gillion's features. Chip wasn't sure if he had seen Gillion smile like that before, but he wasn't about to get all lost in thought from something as small as a smile. Though it took more than he'd like to admit to bringing himself to ignore the triton's expression.
Gillion fell silent, looking down at his hands as he thought about what had happened. Despite having such a... well it was definitely safe to say it was an emotional reaction, something he hadn't experienced in a while, he was no closer to resolving his issue. He still found himself doubting the prophecy, destiny, everything he had been raised to learn. He still found himself feeling like a traitor to his people... Gillion still didn't know how to separate himself from the prophecy...
"Chip, may I ask something of you..?"
"Yeah, Gil?"
Gillion thought for a second, then spoke, seeming to choose his words as he said them, speaking carefully as if worried the Undersea would hear his words. "T-the things I said earlier, about everything I had been raised to learn and believe in... I still do not know how to be separate from what I was trained to fully encompass. I fear that the things you have told me to do in the past, to put myself first before everything else or to do what I think is right, I am unable to do those things... I worry that I am not as good as I have strived to be, Chip." As Gillion spoke, it became clear just how important all of the things Gillion usually preached were to him. To the extent that he couldn't see himself as an individual that wasn't somehow associated with his beliefs. But there was one thing that Gillion had said that Chip completely disagreed with.
"What the hell do you mean you don't think you're as good as you wanna be?! Gill, you've saved a lot of people! You've done a lot for others, that's good! You're good, Gillion..." Chip's voice became softer as he spoke, he wanted to show just how genuine what he was saying was. Though his words were usually taken at face value by Gillion, so that wasn't a huge worry. But still, Chip wanted Gillion to grasp the sincerity of what he was saying. Thankfully, Chip's sincerity seemed to reach Gillion as he saw his expression soften from the once tense and almost guilty expression he wore before.
"I-I... thank you, Chip. For that and everything else, you have done for me. I worry I do not say it enough, but I do appreciate your company and your friendship... You matter a great deal to me, so I... I hold your kind words very close to my heart..." Gillion smiled the same smile that had nearly sent Chip into some kind of spiral to try and remember if he had seen it before. It was such a small and subtle thing, but the second Gillion smiled that way, there was no denying how it seemed to make the triton glow. More so than he usually seemed to... If all he needed to say to make Gillion smile like that more was to say things he genuinely meant, then he would definitely make an effort to speak his mind a lot more.
"Well it's true so... y'don't have to thank me. Just... The reason I always keep going on about thinking for yourself and to be selfish for once isn't to make you doubt what you believe, y'know? I just... I just want to make sure you don't get seriously hurt or something. You're always so quick to get in the way of me or Jay when we're in some kind of fight and take the hits- but that shouldn't be how we operate as a crew! You're not some punching bag for the bad guys until we eventually beat em'..! I don't wanna lose you or Jay, alright? This whole crew we've got going... You, Jay, Earl and Ollie! You guys are the first family I've had since... since Arlin and the other Black Rose Pirates. I don't wanna lose a family again, Gill. I don't wanna lose you. You're too important to me..." Chip looked up from the deck to Gillion, seeing the look of shock on his face, most likely towards the last worry Chip had shared. To fight off his growing embarrassment, Chip quickly continued. "S-So! So uh, new promise! I need you to promise me that you'll try and think of yourself first before everyone else, alright? I want you to finally act as if you care about yourself before me or Jay or anyone else." Chip raised a brow, now watching Gillion for his answer.
"I worry I will not be able to do that, Chip. I can promise you I will take much more caution in fights that we encounter and be more thoughtful of my own well-being before throwing myself in front of anybody..." Chip just blinked at Gillion as he tried to process what he was saying.
"What do you mean? Gill, c'mon we can't start butting heads now- we had like a whole ass mome-"
"What I mean is, I cannot act as if I care more for myself than for you. It'd be dishonest. I would never make such an oath to do so. Especially after everything you have said to me, I regret to tell you that I am not able to put myself before you... I'm afraid I care for you too much to do so." Gillion avoided eye contact as he elaborated, Chip, being able to see a darker shade of blue slowly creep up around his cheeks. It was subtle, but Chip was too busy staring at the triton, so all he could notice was subtlety.
Chip understood what Gillion was alluding to, mainly because he had done the same. Chip would also bet he wouldn't have momentarily malfunctioned if Gillion had meant what he said in a platonic sense, so this helped too.
Chip figured it was his turn to say something. Literally anything. Please for the love of god say something- "Well, I uh... I guess I'm happy with having you be willing to promise not to be so reckless in fights. T-That's uh... s'progress. Definitely progress." Chip let out a small chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck to feel that it wasn't the weather, he was just very bad at emotions and was overheating. Fantastic.
He glanced up to see Gillion offering that same goddamn smile for the third time. Almost as if he knew what the hell he was doing. "I am glad we have found a way to resolve our conflict from last week, Chip. Thank you for listening to me. I understand that you may not have wanted to at the time..." It was as Gillion said this he remembered he was supposed to still be pissed off at him. Chip groaned loudly and rolled his eyes.
"Y'know, I wasn't done being all pissed off. I knew it wouldn't last much longer because... well, you're you. But I was expecting at least till the end of today." As Chip spoke, he stood up, stretching from having sat on a hard wooden floor for longer than his body was happy with. Gillion chuckled at Chip's complaints, standing as well. Chip very much noticed how Gillion didn't have to stretch and immediately felt jealous.
"Well, I apologise for ruining your plans of being upset with me, Chip. Though I would like to ask what exactly you mean by... I am me and why it is the reasoning for you're sour mood to end at some point?" Gillion spoke with a small grin, stepping closer to Chip.
"W-Well, y'know... you're you. I don't know, I just... It's hard to stay mad at you for a long time..."
"Chip, you are quite horrible at elaborations-" Chip interrupted Gillion's teasing as he hit his arm jokingly, rolling his eyes at him.
"Shut up fish boy. I don't have to explain myself to you, I've been painfully honest enough. Any more and I'll shut down." Gillion seemed to only become more amused at this, if Chip was turned around, he'd still be able to hear his shit-eating grin through the tone of his voice.
"You have already given a very honest reason before, I believe that your exact words were that I am 'too important to you'-" Gillion laughed as he was shoved to the side by a now very embarrassed Chip.
"When did you become such a bastard?! Christ-" Chip scoffed jokingly, trying to fight off his growing flushed face, but to no avail. Before he was able to say nothing more, he felt Gillion take ahold of his hand gently and look to him with a fond expression. Of course, he had that small loving smile that Chip had seen for the first time today, but for the fourth time during their talk. If Chip was being honest, it had started to feel as if that smile was only for him... And Chip was not against this theory of his. Gillion raised Chip's hand gently and pressed a soft kiss to the knuckles of his hand as his small smile grew.
"I meant what I said also, Chip. I... I do care very much for you. And I am nothing but grateful to you for all you have done for me." Gillion continued to hold Chip's hand in his, Chip not seeming to pull his hand away at all. He was stuck staring for a few seconds before he snapped himself out of it, the gesture being a shock, though not an unpleasant one. If that was how Gillion was going to share his affection, Chip wouldn't stop him.
Chip felt himself chuckle, a minorly flustered smile as he spoke, "God you're sappy, huh?" He chuckled more before continuing, "You... You don't have to thank me. I'm just glad you're feeling better, Gill. I uh... I care about you too... a lot, actually- so, if you're feeling freaked out and worried like that again, tell me, okay? I wanna be there for you." Gillion's soft smile only grew more as Chip spoke, finding the way he spoke nothing short of endearing.
"I promise, I will come to you if I am feeling troubled yet again, Chip. You have my word." Gillion gave a small nod as he said this, reminding Chip of that charm he had remembered coming to the realisation of. The charm of some hero in a book who was destined to save the world, or some prince who was also destined to save the world. In short, Gillion was a very 'protagonist off to save the world' kind of guy. But he supposed that was what he had been told to try to become. And from what he understood, Gillion wanted nothing more than to be able to decide for himself who he really was.
Chip would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous for this whole new journey Gillion would have to go on to figure out who he was separate from everything he had been trained to become. But Chip would also be lying if he said he wasn't excited. He couldn't exactly find a negative to meeting a new and more honest side to Gillion. Especially if it'd have the end result of making him more happy and comfortable after all of the stress and responsibility of upholding stupid things like titles and prophecies. Chip would be there every step of the way if it meant he could help Gillion figure out who he really was as his own person. He had no doubts that Gillion would do the same for him.
As for Gillion, he was definitely nervous to take this step of becoming an individual separated from everything he was taught and relied on to uphold. He still had his worries and insecurities. If he really wasn't this prophecised hero or champion, then he was just himself... Was that really okay? Gillion thought of what Chip had said, how he had told Gillion that he was important to him. Gillion was important to Chip. Not the Champion of the Undersea. Gillion. This was all the reassurance he needed to be sure that he would be okay. He was allowed to be himself. Besides, he knew that he'd have Chip by his side to help him along the way, and really he couldn't ask for anything more.
Gillion knew he'd be allowed to be himself before whatever the prophecy wanted him to be, and he knew he'd feel comfortable to do so all the while Chip stayed by his side. And Gillion was going to make sure he'd do everything in his power to find a way to thank Chip for all he has done for him. He swore to himself that he'd protect and care for Chip no matter what, he was too precious to the triton to lose.