|21|
AMENDS
ETHELINDA HAD HER back turned, the sunlight embraced her angelic presence. It was in that moment, Rose made sense of her life. To see her there, like she had always wanted seemed to cease the emptiness that resided in her.
Curly brown hair, bohemian dress, hoop earrings. She was a true Romany woman that graced the earth ever so fiercely with graciousness.
Yet, she wasn't real.
"Rosie?" Renie walks out into the hallway, concerned. "What are you looking at love?"
Rose closes her eyes and opens them.
The hallway was now empty and all that was there was her bemused aunt, who had a cigarette in one hand and cup of tea in the other.
"Rosie..." The look of concern continued to grow on Renie's face. More than anyone, she knew the signs. She saw them in her own sister and now, she feared that they were emerging in Rose.
"I'm okay." Rose takes a deep breath before picking up the groceries she had dropped quickly.
"I heard you say mum." Renie points out, not convinced. "I know a lot has been going on recently."
"I think it's a lack of sleep." Rose argues. If anything, she was trying to convince herself more than her aunt.
Renie sighs, looking at her nieces face which was pale, lifeless and exhausted.
"This is just the beginning of your real life if you decide to stay with him." Renie leans against the wall, looking up.
Rose knew that her aunt was not the biggest advocate of the Shelby's or the lifestyle they had. In all honesty, she detested it. Renie made her thoughts about Tommy being bad news more than loud and clear. Deep down, it was coming from a place of love; she just wanted the best for Rose and Harry.
"Do you know what people will think when they see you with Thomas Shelby? They'll think you're a harlot, Rosie." Renie's voice was extra raspy, she had seemed to smoke Harry's cigarettes as well as her pack. "The other women."
Rose didn't have the strength to defend herself, instead she succumbed to her aunts lecture. Her mind was doing laps, running back to the times when her and Tommy were in the pub and she'd catch him glancing at Daisy.
The other woman.
She despised that phrase.
"These Shelby's are nothing but trouble. Give you the eyes that make your heart stop, sweep you off your feet then get you into bed with them, right?" Renie continues.
Rose looks away, fed up.
"Right." Renie answers. Her nieces silence was the only response she needed. "Gangsters. God save the poor girls that fall for them. They'll ruin your bloody life, Rosie."
There was a heavy feeling in Rose's heart that she just couldn't carry anymore and her aunt's words deepened her misery.
"Well, I think he's lovely." Rose fires back as Renie rolls her eyes.
"Lovely just doesn't go with Tommy Shelby." She holds her cigarette up to her mouth. "This is how it'll be like, you'll always be waiting for him. And when you do see him, you can't help but wonder when you won't be able to again."
Before Rose could even forge a decent counterpoint, her brother comes through the door with his new wife, Lucy O'Donnell.
"Oh, hello you two! Come, come, sit." Renie ushers them into the living room, warmly. "I'll make some tea."
Rose sighs as she hears them laugh from the living room. Hesitantly, she trudges upstairs, locking her bedroom door behind her. The sky had gradually turned into mystic orange, the sun had set on the horizon as the evening air cooled Small Heath.
Rose hadn't even noticed she had been sat on her bed for hours for she had only just came to the sudden realisation she hadn't eaten anything.
The voices. All she could hear was the voices. It was a whisper. A familiar voice, like her mother's. Rose couldn't get rid of the flashbacks, the words in her head that wouldn't stop.
It was driving her mad, it was taking her to a place she didn't want to go.
Rose gets up, marching to her dressing table and taking the pills out the drawer. There wasn't a pause or contemplation before taking them, she just did.
She drinks the glass of water in front of her, knowing she probably shouldn't have done that. But, they calmed her. It was what kept her sane when her brother was away, when things were falling apart.
Like now.
Then out of nowhere, a gentle tapping sound comes from the direction of her window.
Rose tried to ignore it, yet she just couldn't shake off the growing sound. Without caution, she pushes her white curtains to the side, looking down at the street.
Her hand immediately covers her mouth as she tries to hold back a loud gasp.
"You're a free man now?" Rose couldn't hide the huge smile and disbelief on her face as she saw Tommy standing on the street.
He had a couple bruises, a cut over his eye and wounded knuckles.
"Charges got dropped." Tommy responds.
He was holding something.
He was holding roses. A bouquet of them. Tommy Shelby with roses. It was something Rosella couldn't quite believe, the sight of it wasn't enough.
"What are you throwing at my window?" Rose laughs for what seemed like the first time in forever.
Tommy shrugs with a weak smile. "Rose seeds. Didn't think you'd hear."
He throws one up and Rose just about catches it. Grinning, she looks down at the palm of her hand. "It's not everyday you see a gangster with roses, outside a house."
Tommy adjusts his navy blue suit. "Might be the last time you see it if you keep talking."
Laughing, Rose leans forward out the window more, putting her arms on the outside sill. "Come through the front door then."
"Well, your aunt." Tommy starts uneasily. "Rosella, I'm not scared of anything but you're aunt...Wow."
Rose bursts into laughter, covering her mouth. "She's not that bad Tommy."
"She's going to give me aggro. Haven't come out of a church, have I?"
"Yeah, it was prison Tommy. You did have a whole stash of illegal drugs." Rose replies with a sarcastic smile. "Why'd they drop the charges?"
He shrugs, looking down at the rings on his finger. "I don't know and I don't care."
Something told Rose he did know.
"You look gorgeous, Rosella." Tommy compliments, trying to distract Rose who didn't look fully convinced.
It wasn't everyday he complimented her so it did distract her.
Rose was in a red dress with a necklace her mother had given her around her neck.
"You look gorgeous too, Thomas." Rose tilts her head, grinning.
Tommy did. Even with cuts and bruises in his face. Rose could tell Tommy made an effort; that navy blue suit brought out his ocean eyes and that was his best watch.
"It's nearly Christmas as you know." Tommy puts his hand in his pocket, taking out a small box. "Thought you deserved an early Christmas present for all the grief I've put you through."
"And what about your family?" Rose questions with a raised brow.
"Rosie..." Tommy starts, looking up. "Everyone in my family hates me."
Rose frowns, and their happy moods turn somber. The truth was, Polly wasn't talking to Tommy. At least not proper sentences. Only Arthur and John had visited him in prison but they still were hostile to him, John especially as Isaac was his best mate who was rotting in prison.
And Ada, she had locked herself up in that tiny room her and Isaac were renting with her newborn baby. She didn't speak to anyone; not even Polly who would come every week with food.
"But it's nearly Christmas." Tommy begins with a happier tone. "I've got your present early. You want me to leave it somewhere, maybe with Harry?"
"Absolutely not." Rose replies, pretending to be completely outraged.
"Alright, I'll put it through the letter box. If it fits." Tommy says walking closer to the house.
Rose shoots him a glare, giving him the 'look'.
"You want me to climb up, don't you?" He sighs, as Rose smiles.
Tommy gives in, stepping on the downstairs window sill to boost him up. He grabs onto the pipe attached to the house that led all the way up to Rose's window.
"Don't fall, please." Rose says anxiously.
Cautiously, he steps onto a small platform that held the pipe, making sure the roses he had tucked into his pocket, don't fall.
Tommy was now face to face with Rose, slightly below her but she leaned in with both her hands placed on the window sill that was on the outside.
"Alright." Tommy starts, gaining a steady balance. "The roses."
He hands her the bouquet that he had tucked away.
"Roses for a Rose." was what Tommy said as he watched Rose admire them.
"Thank you." Rose grins, smelling them and putting them on her window sill.
"And, your very early Christmas present." Tommy puts the box on the window sill.
It wasn't wrapped up, it was a small dark blue velvet box. Rose had no idea what it could be as she traced her fingers against it.
"Come on, open it Rosella."
Rose pauses, looking up at him before back at the box.
She opens it up.
"Oh, Tommy." Rose looks at the present in her hands.
"It's a ruby necklace." Tommy explains, warmed at her amazement.
It was a pendant necklace with a little ruby jewel that dazzled. On top of the ruby was a small diamond that completed the necklace ever so beautifully. Behind the jewel, was the initial "T" engraved.
It must've cost Tommy a fortune.
"They remind me of you. Rubies."
Rose beams, "I've always wanted to name my daughter Ruby."
She looks at Tommy and realises she couldn't afford to lose him, she was terrified of it.
"Are you still going through with your plan? I know it's the races and you've planned it all but does it really matter anymore. You got locked up and nearly die—"
"It won't happen again Rosie. I'm not going anywhere." Tommy reassures. "But the plan is still going ahead."
"Tommy, you can't be sure." Rose argues, remembering her aunts words.
"I promise."
"You told me before, you only want a piece of the world. You can still have that. You can open up a club in London like you said. We could have horses." Rose continues, trying to convince him. "Live above the rules, be what you always wanted to be. Close down the other stuff."
Tommy smiles at her ignorance. He found it sweet actually, how absent minded Rose was to how this all worked.
"Living above the rules, it's really that easy for you, eh?" He says softly. Tommy looks into her hazel eyes. "Rosella, I can't live above rules that were meant to keep people like me down. See, we'll always be the bad guys in life. That's how it is."
Rose traces her finger on the cut on Tommy's face.
"Some day I will throw this gun in the canal." He admits.
"Why not now?"
Tommy moves hair out of Rose's face.
All it takes is one moment, one second in time for the universe to remind you why you feel what you feel for someone. It brings you back to a home you never knew you could find, a heaven you never knew you could create, a feeling you never knew you could feel.
Love.
"I love you." Rose whispers, catching Tommy off guard. "I didn't know what it meant to love someone until I met you, Tommy."
Tommy doesn't say anything. Instead, he stares at her with no recollection of the time that had passed, for time didn't exist anymore. All he knew was Rose. As if a world that didn't start and end with her wasn't one worth living.
"They said people like me can't love. Or can't be loved." Tommy begins, looking away into the distance. "But I feel it."
Rose nods, smiling, leaning in and kissing Tommy gently.
For a moment Tommy nearly forgot what day it was.
Today could either go completely wrong or completely right.
•••
Tommy walks into the Shelby betting shop and all noise, business and chatter halts at his presence.
"Good, lord." Polly let's out in amazement as she walks in, she takes off her hat.
She had a basket of food in her hands that was meant for Ada, but like always, she didn't open up.
Tommy looks around at his family, friends and workers. Everyone looked like they had seen a ghost; maybe because they had. It was a bittersweet resurrection. They were happy to see Tommy had gotten out, yet he still had questions to answer of what happened that fatal night.
"You're back." Polly continues, staring at Tommy.
"I am." He answers, looking around.
"Welcome home." Arthur could feel the tension in the room, like everyone else.
"Yeah, welcome home." John adds, slightly resentful.
Tommy nods, diverting his eyes back to Polly and the food basket she had in her hands.
He immediately knew.
"Did you speak to her?" Tommy asks.
The anger that Polly had that night returns for a second and she quickly shakes it off, trying her best to keep her composure.
"She didn't speak back."
Tommy sighs, disheartened. "Well, did you tell her?"
"I'll only tell her, what I know to be true." Polly responds bluntly.
"It's the last time I'm going to say this. It wasn't me who shopped Isaac Jesus." Tommy announces loud and clear to everyone.
Polly takes a deep breath. "Tommy. I'd ask you to swear on the Bible, but you can't swear on that, can you? Nothing you hold sacred."
With that, Polly takes her hat, buttoning up her coat and heading towards the door.
She stops, turning around to Tommy. "Welcome home by the way."
Then, leaves through the door.
"She acts tough but it was her going above and beyond to get you out of there. Every lawyer, every copper. She even interrogated the bloody postman." John explains, sitting down.
Tommy knew his family still loved him. No matter how hard Polly was on him, she couldn't hate him.
"Now, tell us." Arthur starts, lighting a cigarette. "How the hell did the charges get dropped?"
"Daisy."
"Daisy? Our mate Daisy? The barmaid?" Arthur queries, shocked.
John sits up, equally surprised.
"She visited me yesterday." Tommy takes a cigarette from Arthur. "She told me she had connections. In London. Her friends husband could help me get out."
Little did Tommy know that it was Daisy who sent the search out for the drugs, Arthur had let it slip where they were and she ceased the opportunity. As well as the opportunity to arrest Isaac, who was wanted when John accidentally said his location.
Then she felt bad, it all came crumbling down and she couldn't take it anymore. Daisy decided to get help to drop Tommy's charges.
"Well, have you seen her to thank her?" Arthur questions.
Tommy shakes his head.
The truth was, Daisy had also told him that she still loved him. It felt like all the demons and ghosts from his past were flooding back at once. Just when he was starting to look ahead to the future.
The worst thing was, he didn't even fight it off. Daisy said she still loved and cared for him and Tommy remained silent.
He just listened to her, because a part of him did want her to say those words again.
But, it wasn't about Daisy now, it was about today. The black star day. He was taking down Kimber once and for all.
"Tommy." John says, pulling him to a corner.
He takes a deep breath, looking at his older brother thoughtfully.
"Dad came back whilst you were away."
Tommy rubs his forehead, sighing, "what did he want?"
"He said he was a changed man and everything. Arthur bought into it, he wanted to see the good, you know Arthur."
Tommy scoffs. His father walked out on them ten years ago when they needed him the most, he was and will always be useless to Tommy.
"Finn still thinks he's this amazing hero too." John tries to keep his voice down, so Arthur who was on the table near them doesn't hear.
"He's a selfish bastard." Tommy spits, disgusted at his fathers attempts to try come back.
"Well, Arthur took money out the family fund. Five hundred. Dad sold him the dream and I guess he bought it. Dad said they could start a business in America together." John wipes his mouth, already knowing that Tommy knew what happened next. "He ran away with the money."
Tommy looks back at Arthur, who looked quite down. He had noticed something different in him the second he got back, Arthur just wasn't himself.
"Don't go too hard on him Tommy, he didn't take it lightly." John pleads, as Tommy walks over to Arthur.
He observed his brother, who sat on the table, looking down at his hands. That's when he caught sight of it. Tommy saw the rope marks on his neck.
He gently moves his collar out the way to get a better look at it.
A suicide attempt.
Tommy places his hand on his older brothers shoulder, patting it.
"Polly or John told you?" Arthur asks, too ashamed to look up.
"You should've used a gun." Tommy jokes.
"Are you laughing at me, Tommy?"
"Yeah." Tommy slides a pack of cigarettes for him on the table.
Arthur looks at it woefully.
"Don't you like fancy parties?" Tommy questions, sitting down next to him. "Champagne or fast cars?"
Tommy fishes out a card from his pocket. "Or, um, your name on a business card?"
"Shelby...Brothers Limited." Arthur reads out slowly. "Arthur Shelby, associate bookmaker."
Arthur chuckles to himself quietly.
Tommy leans in, smiling. "You're one of three shareholders. Me, you and John, and according to the law, we are equal partners. It's written in black and white. Picked them up from the printers the second I got back."
Tommy leans back, as Arthur smiles to himself. "But the thing is... well, me and John quite fancy splitting your share so, next time, just use a gun, man."
Arthur laughs, taking the pack of cigarettes and looking at Tommy who was shaking his head with a big smile too.
Tommy puts his arm around Arthur. "I got told that new mayor is leaving town. Inspector Whitley might resign tomorrow. We're in the clear. After today it's all over. We are on our way up in the world, brother. Believe me."
Arthur nods, still grinning.
Tommy stands up, straightening his suit. More than ever he knew he had to do this, for his family, for everyone.