That night, after he set Shin's office ablaze, Muzan felt tears run down his face.
His entire life purpose has been shattered in a single moment. He tried to deny it, tried to convince himself that the doctor was lying... but as pathetic as humans are, Muzan knew one thing for sure.
Humans are more honest in their final moments than they are in their entire worthless lives.
And he didn't even have the chance to cope with this loss. He was stuck having to stare at his ugly 'daughter' for the rest of the night, and he expected that to make him angrier, but... it just made him sadder.
He had always known he was a coward on the inside. It was to be expected, given how powerful he was. If you are a man who has everything, your humanity starts to dwindle a little bit. But he had always thought of this as a good thing. He was a god among the earth's inhabitants! Anything that made him human was only making him weaker. That's why humans are so pathetic to a creature like him. Their flaws. Humans depend on things, humans make mistakes, humans are scared, happy, depressed, joyous, humans were jumbled messes of emotions, and that was always the one thing Muzan knew he didn't have. Whatever happened to him, he knew he had control over everything. When things didn't go his way, it was never a bother. He knew it would work out in the end. Why? Because he was a demon! The most perfect creature in all of nature.
Yet here he was, crying. Crying because of something he had no control over. Crying because he had suddenly stooped to the same level as everybody else.
And he was so... damn... close...
With nothing else interesting to do other than wallow in his own sadness, Muzan looked down at the child, who was sleeping peacefully on a small bed. He never imagined acting as a father to be this hard. It's either complete chaos or complete boredom every single damn day. What's the point of having a child, anyway? Muzan couldn't understand. He stared at the little girl's tiny fingers and all he thinks of is crushing them with his hands and watch her wail in pain. Maybe then, he could feel better about himself.
You know what, why shouldn't I do that?
At this point, the child had woken up. She smiled when she saw Muzan's face, and that only made Muzan want to crush her fingers even more.
What are you smiling at, brat? Muzan thought.
As if to respond to her smile, Muzan risked it and made a scary face at the half-asleep girl, turning his eyes red and his teeth sharp. He leaned in as he did this, making sure the girl could see nothing else but his terrifying face.
To Muzan's shock, the girl laughed at him.
What?!
"Oto-san!" the girl said. "You look funny!"
I look funny.
She said I looked funny.
WHAT'S SO DAMN FUNNY ABOUT A DEMON?!
Out of annoyance, Muzan growled at the girl, unintentionally making himself look 'funny' once again, which made the girl laugh AGAIN. Muzan knew he couldn't kill the child, but he was very, very close to doing so.
"Tsukihiko-san?" a voice said from the other side of the room. Instantly, Muzan stopped himself and raised his head. It was his fake wife, Tsukahiro.
"Wha- I mean, yes dear?" Muzan asked.
"It's already 11 'o clock." she said, chuckling a bit. "Time for her to go to bed."
"Oh. Right. Okay, sorry about that." Muzan said, getting up and scolding himself for not remembering his stupid daughter's schedule. He was nearing the door, when his wife gave him a very unimpressed face.
"What?" Muzan asked, confused.
"Tsukihiko-san..." she said. "aren't you forgetting someone?"
It took him a few seconds, but Muzan realized who she was talking about. Muzan turned around, only to see his daughter with a sad face and puppy eyes, arms outstretched and asking for a hug. Sighing, he went over and embraced the little girl. Her tiny body warmed his arms as they squeezed tightly around her. It was a strange experience. Most of the time, he could do the hugging thing as normally as he would have raised a finger, but at this state, when he was emotionally vulnerable, it felt both disgusting and comforting at the same time.
Something is wrong with me.
Muzan then pulled away from the hug and said a quick 'good night' to the girl before exiting the room. He closed the door and heard it's satisfying click sound. Finally, he could get back to what really mattered. His demon empire.
But... did that matter anymore, now that he had no other way to find immortality? Yes, the Kamado girl could be used for experiments, and he could find out if she had the key to conquering the sun, but there's something that had been frustrating him about that girl.
The less demonic she was, the less that common demon weaknesses could hurt her.
He knew that the Kamado girl's unwillingness to drink human blood was causing some type of reaction inside her, and that was a problem. It meant that the more human she tried to become, the more immune she would be. Muzan didn't want to be human, he wanted to be a god! To kill whoever he pleases, to feast on the blood of humanity. But now, he's not even sure if he can accomplish that anymore.
That's when Muzan realized that this entire journey was just a guessing game. Creating demons and waiting for one to RANDOMLY become immune to the sun, hunting around for the Blue Spider Lily because he ASSUMES that it could make him immune to the sun. All this time, he was hoping that he would get what he wanted. He was chasing nothing but a dream. He would always be incomplete, never accomplishing his one desi-
"Tsukihiko-san..."
Muzan woke up from his long and depressing contemplation of his purpose in life, and turned his head to look at Tsukahiro. Beautiful, sweet Tsukahiro. He had never really cared for the woman, but now that he felt like he had no purpose, his heart was desperate enough to consider her as someone to look into.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
Muzan turned his head away. "Nothing. It's all fine."
"You're lying." she said. "I know you, Tsuki."
Muzan chuckled at this, both at how untrue this was, and also how she called him Tsuki, a nickname she only used when she was flirting at him. "Tsuka, you have no idea who I am."
"Oh really?" she asked.
"Mhm." Muzan replied.
"Prove it." she challenged him.
"You think I'm lying." he answered.
Instead of Tsuka laughing at this, as Muzan expected her to do, her face instead dropped from flirty to concerned. "Tsuki... you can tell me what's going on."
Muzan snorted and started walking away, passing the hallways of their luxurious mansion of a 'home' that Muzan had only walked through a few times. "I'm serious, Tsuka. There's nothing bothering me tonight."
"Then why are you acting like someone else?" she asked.
This made Muzan stop dead in his tracks.
Did I slip up?
She never said that about him. His shapeshifting skills never failed him like this. Trying to hide his trembling hands, he put them in his pockets and turned back. "W-what do you mean?"
Tsuka walked closer to him, her eyes reflecting the light of the candalabra that stood on a cabinet near the wall. "Remember what you told me on our first date?"
Muzan bit his lip and delved into his memory. He remembered interrogating the ACTUAL Tsukihiko before he took his place, and he said something about taking her out of a dark place. He said something about eyes...
"Yeah, I do." Muzan muttered. "I said... 'your eyes were... sad.'
Those weren't the right words. Far from it, actually.
And it showed. Tsuka gasped, and held her hands close to her chest. "You really... really don't remember?"
Muzan tried to control the situation. "No, NO! Of course I remember it! Why would I forg-"
"You said..." Tsuka cut him off. "the eyes are the window to the soul..."
She then stepped even closer.
"And your eyes..." she said, choking up a bit. "They're showing me that you're lost. Please, dear, tell me what's wrong."
Muzan didn't have time to oblige with this woman's pretentious nonsense. "Oh please, you wouldn't even understand."
"How could you say that, Tsuki?" Tsuka said, bringing her hands to her mouth.
By this point, Muzan was growing increasingly frustrated, so with one last warning, he walked up to her. "Listen, Tsuka, I don't need you to help me, okay? I'm perfectly happy with how I'm doing, and I don't care if you think I look sad on the outside, okay?"
Tsuka wavered. "But Tsuki, when I se-"
"I'm fine! I'm happy!" Muzan said, bringing his arms up. "You trying to make sure that I'm fine is only making things worse, and the more you ask if I'm okay, the LESS okay I become! So why not do me a favor and back off, you worthless, disposable meat bag?!"
Admittedly, he might have gone a little overboard, but Muzan was too tired to care. He was sick of this woman treating her like a baby, and he could care less if she drowned in a lake, leaving their 'daughter' motherless. He doesn't care! Humans are disposable creatures! They're such a mess! They say things they don't mean, they constantly frustrate one another, and they're just terrible to deal with! He had no time to deal with an imperfect, unpredictable, piece of human organism that he knew and hated!
But at the same time, he was in a jumbled mess of emotions too. He had just lost his path to his purpose in life. What made him any different from her?
Suddenly, he felt a warm wispy feeling touch his lips. He awakened himself from his contemplation, only to find Tsuka, kissing him deeply and gripping his shoulders as if she was desperate.
Muzan immediately tried to pull back, but surprisingly Tsuka held tight to him, kissing him even deeper, tears running down her eyes.
Eventually, she did pull back, and looked him in the eye. Despite how little he cared for her, he would be lying if he didn't say that she looked horrible. Her eyes were tearing up and watery, her cheeks were bright red, and her breathing was quick and labored.
"Why..." Muzan said. "Why would you kiss me... after everything I just said to you?"
When he said that, Tsuka chuckled and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Because I love you. I love you, so, so much. And I know that deep inside, in your heart... you're pleading."
"I called you worthless. I called you disposable!" Muzan said. "If you're disgusted with me, why don't you just say it?!"
"Why would I be disgusted?" she replied. "You're my husband!"
"No, I'm not!" Muzan snapped. "I never was! This... this facade I wear, these clothes I'm in, they're not mine! They belong to someone else! Someone dead!"
Despite the morbid tone, Tsuka smiled. "I know."
Muzan's eyes widened.
"I've known..." she continued. "ever since that boy stopped you in the street. For the first time, I knew you were scared. And I heard what he said. Haha... you never told me your real name was Muzan."
Muzan stepped back in horror, trying to be as discreet as possible when he eyed for an escape route. He knew killing her would attract too much attention to his alias, but at the same time if she knew who he truly was...
"You could have at least told me on our wedding day." she said. "You don't have to carry your secret as a burden."
Muzan, upon realizing his mistake, lowered his shoulders in relief. She had assumed that her husband had been keeping secrets from her, not that he was never her husband to begin with.
Still, he felt a sense of dread from the simple fact that she even picked up on this. Has the realization of the Blue Spider Lily's demise affected him to a point that even a dumb human like Tsuka can notice his true emotions? It was a worrying thought.
"It's not a burden." Muzan said. "I just didn't think I needed to tell you. I'm fine, for real this time."
Tsuka sighed. "Well... can we at least have a little time together?"
Muzan raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"I mean a date." Tsuka said. "or a day out. Or... I don't know, whatever you want to call it. What matters is that I want to spend time with you. We could send Haruka to her aunt's place, if you want to keep her out of this. The point is... I don't want any more secrets between us."
Muzan was about to refuse the offer, but... what else was there to do? The Demon Slayers have been completely crippled, his demons have good lives leeching off the citizens of Tokyo. The only real concern for him is Kamado, but he knew that would just end up to nothing. As much as he hated it, there was consideration in himself for Tsuka's 'date'.
"I'll think about it." Muzan said. "Thanks for the offer, anyway."
Muzan turned to leave, but not before Tsuka hollered a quiet 'wait'. He turned back.
"I love you, Muzan." Tsuka smiled.
He resisted the urge to flinch when she called her that, but nevertheless replied. "I... love you too, Tsuka."
As he turned once more and exited their home, he could feel the night breeze run through his clothes. Midnight wind wasn't usually this strong.
He spotted one of his demons across the street, who had been keeping an eye on him. The demon shook his head. No immediate threats.
"Any more commands, my lord?" the demon asked.
Muzan was going to give his usual order of 'gather the Kizuki', but something stopped him. What was the point anymore? He had the entirety of Japan's government in his hands now that Hirohito had been captured, but that couldn't feel any more useless to him now. He would never be able to become God, so he'll be stuck as the hidden ruler of a country he no longer had any interest in ruling.
But one thing came to mind. One thing he definitely wanted to do.
Ugh, I can't believe I'm considering this...
"Tell Kokushibo to take charge of the rest of the demons." Muzan said. "I'll have some secret businesses to attend to."
"Erm..." the demon stuttered, surprised at the unusual request. "Should I inform the Kizuki about this secret busi-?"
"NO! GOD, NO!" Muzan yelled immediately, which made the demon jump. "I mean- no... sorry for yelling, I didn't mean that. Just... leave the Kizuki to their own endeavors."
Instead of running off to give the order, the demon just stood there, dumbfounded. Muzan raised an eyebrow at the demon.
"Well, what're you waiting for?" Muzan asked. "Go!"
This broke the demon out of his trance, making him immediately remember what he must do and running off to the darkness. It was only when he disappeared around a street corner that Muzan realized why the demon had froze.
"Did I just-" Muzan realized. "GAAAAH, DAMN IT! Urgh, I just apologized to him. Gaaaah..."
Though as embarrassing a slip up as that was, Muzan still didn't really care all that much. In fact, he would have chuckled about it if he wanted to.
Yep, something is definitely wrong with me.
END OF CHAPTER 28
So that was Chapter 28! What did you think? Leave reviews and opinions down in the comments!
Also, I'll be uploading every three days, just so you guys know. It usually takes me around two or three days to finish a chapter, so it's a reasonable length.
Anyway, Sayonara!
-Mr. Veyrum