ANDREA's
"Andrea... can we talk?" he ask.
"I have a lot of things to do Cedric." sabi ko sakanya at akmang aalis na ng maramdaman kong mas hinigpitan niya pa ang kapit sa may braso ko.
"Please?" I turned around to face him. I stared at his eyes for a while and shook my head. Binawi ko ang braso ko mula sa pagkakahawak niya at tuluyan ng lumabas ng faculty room.
Hindi pa ko nakakalayo ay narinig ko na ang boses ni Justine na tinatawag siya. I closed my eyes tightly at huminga ng malalim to control my feelings.
Cedric Hean Rodriguez.
I'll forget about you soon.
May meeting ang teachers kaya naman wala kaming klase, so instead of going back sa classroom ay dumiretso ako sa music room.
Natuwa ako ng makitang walang ibang tao doon. I took the guitar and started to strum. It took me a while before I get to play a real song.
Someday, you're gonna realize
One day, you'll see this through my eyes
By then I won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if I can't
I first met Cedric during the first day of high school.
Naglalakad akong mag-isa habang hinahanap ang classroom ko. I never thought Angel's University was so big. I was lost, but then the young Cedric approached me at tinulungan akong hanapin ang classroom ko. And it even turned out na magkaklase pala kami.
We became friends. We got close. Close enough for me to fall for him. Our love had the foundation of friendship. Pero ngayon, kahit pagkakaibigan, hindi ko magawang ibigay sa kanya.
I can't. Especially when I also lost my best friend because of him.
Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place wo oh oh
One day, I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday,
Napalingon ako sa pintuan ng music room ng makarinig ako ng palakpak.
"What are you doing here?" I ask him coldly.
"Wala talagang pinagbago. Your voice is still as beautiful as it is." he said while slowly walking towards me. Binaba ko ang gitara at hinarap siya.
"Ano ba talagang kailangan mo?" tanong ko habang nakakrus ang mga braso.
He stood there quietly, for a moment I thought he won't say anything so I stood up.
"S-sorry." He blurted out. Sandali akong natigilan. I looked at him. Nakayuko siya habang ang mga kamay ay nasa loob ng bulsa ng unipormeng suot.
I smiled, a bitter one.
"Hindi lahat ng kasalanan nadadala sa sorry at hindi lahat ng sorry madaling tanggapin. May mga kasalanan kasi tayong nagagawa na habang buhay ng dala ng taong nagawan natin ng kasalanan." I said habang nakatingin sa nakayuko niyang pigura.
"Cedric." tawag ko sa kanya dahilan upang magtaas siya ng tingin at salubungin ang mga mata ko.
"Alam mong mapagpatawad akong tao. Pero sana, sana hindi mo ko inabuso. Kasi tao lang rin ako, napupuno at napapagod. Kahit maka ilang milyong sorry ka pa, well, maybe in the future I'll be able to forgive you. But don't expect na babalik pa tayo sa dating tayo." I saw how guilt and regret filled his face. But it was too late for that. The damage has been done, there's no turning back.
After saying my piece, I walked passed him at lalabas na sana ng pinto but I think I'm not done here yet.
"Cedric." Tawag kong muli sa atensyon niya kahit nakatalikod ako sa kanya.
He didn't respond, pero ramdam kong nakatingin siya sakin. I sighed before saying my last piece.
"Hindi ko na mababalik ang dating tayo, but I'll definitely make sure to bring back the old me ng wala ka pa ---- ng wala pa kayo sa buhay ko." I said changing the last part of the sentence ng makita ko si Justine mula sa repleksyon ng salamin na nakikinig sa usapan namin.
Lumabas na ko ng music room, at sandaling nakipagpalitan ng tingin kay Justine bago tuluyang lumayo roon.
Someday, someone's gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
I was busy reading some random book in the library when I felt my phone vibrated. Binalik ko ang libro sa shelf at lumabas ng makita ang kapatid kong si Ally ang tumatawag.
"Hmmm?" sagot ko sa tawag niya habang nakayukong naglalakad palabas.
"Ate Andy! I got great news for you!"
Tahimik ko lang na inantay na sabihin niya ang gustong sabihin, pero wala na kong narinig mula sa kabilang linya. I checked if the call was still connected and rolled my eyes after confirming that it is still indeed connected.
"I thought you're gonna say something?" mataray kong tanong sa kanya.
"Sungit naman."
"Ally, my time is ticking. Ano bang gustong mong sabihin?"
"Wow! Artista ka? Busy ang sched?" pangbabara niya.
"Allysson." I called out in a warning voice.
"Geez! You're so sungit talaga! Fine, just know that Ara's back. Kanina ka pa namin hinahap, but you're nowhere to be found!" she exaggerated.
"Where is she?"
"Jan sa Building A. I told her na dito na lang sila mag enroll sa building G, but they refuse. She said she wanted to be with you daw, lilipat na talaga ko diyan next school year! Ang a-unfair niyo! Ako yung kakambal pero ayaw niya kong kasama!" mahabang monologue ni Ally tungkol sa kakambal niya.
"We'll wait for you then." balewala kong pang-aalo sa kanya.
"Tss. By the way she's with her best friend nga pala." she added before I ended the call.
After the call I tried dialing Ara's number sent by Ally but she's not answering. So I started composing a text message for her.
"Oops! Sorry!" I was too engrossed on typing a message that I just nodded at the girl who apologized after bumping me.
I just walked pass her without looking but stopped when I heard a familiar giggle. I turned around to see a girl with a very white complexion. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang tuluyan ng makilala ang babae. Hindi pa ko nakakapag-react ay naramdaman ko na ang yakap niyang mahigpit.
"Ate namiss kita! It's been 2 years na, you didn't even visit me sa States." Nakanguso niyang saad habang nagkukunwaring nagtatampo. Napailing na lang ako at bahagyang ginulo ang buhok niya.
"I see, you didn't matured even a bit." pang-aasar ko sa kanya na mas nagpahaba ng nguso niya.
Napatingin ako sa likuran niya ng mapansin ang lalaking nakatayo at nakapamulsang nakatingin saming dalawa. I asked my sister if he was her boyfriend, pero tinawanan lang niya ako at bahagyang hinatak palapit samin ang lalaki.
"Ate, meet Lavi, my bestfriend." Tiningnan ko si Lavi, he was also staring back at me.
After a few moments of our staring game, he ended it with a smile?
There's something with his smile.
Parang...
I don't know. Something I can't pinpoint or explain. But there's just something on it. Para bang may pinaplano siyang gawin?
"Andrea right? I'm Buen Lavi Alcantara, Lavi for short." He said and offered his hand for a handshake. I accepted it and introduced myself as well.
Pagkatapos ng pagpapakilalahan ay nag-umpisa na kaming maglakad papunta sa classroom. We would be classmates. We were busy talking about their lives in States, when Ara shifted the topic into something very uncomfortable for me.
"How's Ced and Justine nga pala Ate? Why are they not with you?" Napahinto ako sa paglalakad kaya naman nalampasan niya ako. Nang marealize 'yon ay natigilan rin siya at umikot paharap sakin. I spaced out for a while before sighing and shook my head, and just continued walking.
"Well, guess that was nowhere near good." I saw her and Lavi exchanging meaningful looks in my peripheral view.
We arrived a little late, and the teacher was already inside the classroom. Inexplain ko lang sa teacher na transferees ang mga kasama ko kaya naman hindi na kami napagalitan at pinagpakilala lang sina Ara at Lavi sa unahan bago pina-upo.
Ara took the seat behind me, per teacher's instructions while Lavi took the seat on my left side. Napansin ko ang maya't mayang paglingon ni Justine at Cedric sa pwesto namin, pero binalewala ko na lang iyon at nakinig na lang sa klase.
We headed to the cafeteria for our lunch break. Nag presinta naman si Ara na siya nalang daw ang oorder para samin ni Lavi.
Naiwan kaming dalawa sa table. He was seated in front of me.
"Andrea, you know that girl?" biglang tanong niya habang pasimpleng tinuturo si Justine na naka-upo sa pinaka corner ng cafeteria. She was having lunch with Cedric, but they were both constantly glancing back at our table, hindi ko napigilang mapangisi ng mag-iwas sila ng tingin ng marealized nilang nakatingin narin kami sa kanila.
"Unfortunately, she was my best friend. Why? Type mo?" tanong ko sa kanya, pero wala akong narinig na sagot kaya naman binalingan ko siya ng tingin. But I just saw a different person, there was no trace of the easy-going guy I was with earlier.
He was kinda, scary.
Tumingin siya sakin. I saw him blinked a lot of times.
Was that tears?
I looked at him curiously.
"That girl, was my girlfriend." nagulat ako sa sinabi niya.
"Let me guess, she cheated on you?" confident kong tanong sakanya na ikinagulat rin niya.
"Well, that's no news to me. The guy she's with, that's my ex. We broke up because of their affair." I saw how shocked and sympathy crossed his eyes and then was that admiration? Natawa nalang ako, he was the first person who was able to hear that story directly from me.
And before he can react, my sister already came back carrying our meals. Nagpalipat-lipat siya ng tingin sakin at sa bestfriend niya, before shaking her head as if alam na niya kung anong nangyayari.