Minor trigger warning: mentions of mental illnesses
////////////////////
Yoongi sat in front of the doctor with bags under his eyes. He had had more nightmares for three days now, so yesterday he had decided he just wouldn't sleep. Of course, that took a toll on him. He'd been dragging his feet all day, dance practice had exhausted him more than usual, and he'd almost fallen down the stairs in a tired daze.
Needless to say, he didn't look great. At least he'd had a chance to wash his newly blonde-dyed hair before going to the doctor.
The doctor smiled at him after going through his personal files on the computer.
"So, what brings you here today, Yoongi-ssi?"
Yoongi hated how optimistic this man sounded. Yoongi was tired and didn't want to be here. The only reason he was here was that he owed it to Namjoon, who had already made the appointment for him a few days ago.
That, and he had even come along to the appointment. He was waiting outside because he didn't want Yoongi to feel pressured in any way.
"I haven't been feeling great," Yoongi mumbled, not looking the doctor in the eyes.
"Have you been feeling sick?" the doctor asked.
Yoongi shook his head. "Not like that...it's more...mental? Probably? At least, my friends think so..."
The doctor frowned a little, but then smiled and nodded. "Alright, can you tell me a little bit more about that?"
Yoongi took a deep breath. He felt nervous about this. He didn't know how the doctor was going to react. Yoongi believed the hallucinations weren't- they couldn't be hallucinations. What happened was real. But the doctor would never believe him...doctors were people of science, weren't they? They wouldn't believe in ghosts, let alone demons.
"I've ehm...been seeing things, and hearing too I guess. Scary things...They feel real to me...but my friends...they think I might be hallucinating...but I-I just...I can't believe it..." Yoongi said. "My nightmares have appeared again too...I think it's happening again because of the things I see. They...they keep me up at night."
The doctor nodded, typing stuff on his computer. Yoongi wondered how long it would take before the doctor would type 'mentally unstable' or 'schizophrenic?' in his notes.
"So you think what you see is real." The doctor stated, and Yoongi nodded. "What makes you think that? What exactly have you seen? Has it been something you could touch or talk to?"
Yoongi nodded. "It was something scary...it talked to me...a-and a few days ago it hurt me."
The doctor frowned. "It hurt you?"
Yoongi nodded again and pulled the collar of his shirt down to show the bruises on his neck that hadn't faded yet.
The frown on the doctor's face deepened. "Those are serious bruises. Who did that to you?"
Yoongi let out a chuckle, though there was no emotion behind it and it only made him grimace because his throat still hurt a little. "My friends think I might've done it to myself in a psycho daze or something."
"I hope they didn't use that phrasing." The doctor grimaced.
"No," Yoongi laughed half-heartedly, "no, that's how I phrase it. They think I did it, but they wanted to let the bruises get checked out to see if that was possible."
The doctor nodded. "Did you lose consciousness after what happened?"
Yoongi nodded, though he held a grimace on his face. It had been a terrifying moment when he passed out like that...
"Well, it is possible for someone to choke themselves unconscious. It's not common, not even in psycho dazes, as you phrase it. You'd have to be determined, however...I have quite a personal question for you, don't worry if you're not comfortable answering it. Do you have a history in harming yourself, Yoongi-ssi?"
Yoongi looked at the doctor in shock and shook his head. "No, sir. I-I have struggled with depression, but I've never...I wouldn't, I would never, sir-"
"I believe you, don't worry. I just wanted to check with you. It seems unlikely that you had an attack and wanted to harm yourself if you haven't had a history in that before. Then there must be some other explanation..."
Yoongi gulped. "I-I still believe it was real, sir. Something did this to me."
"Something? Not someone?" The doctor questioned.
Yoongi looked down. "You won't believe me, but what I saw didn't look human."
The doctor nodded understandingly and typed some more on his computer before looking at Yoongi with all seriousness in his eyes. "Yoongi-ssi, I want you to come back at another time and do some tests, alright? I'm not saying I don't believe you, but I want to rule a few things out."
"Schizophrenia..." Yoongi mumbled inaudibly.
"What was that?"
"Schizophrenia." Yoongi said a little louder. "You want to rule out that...that I'm schizophrenic, don't you? That all this is just...hallucinations."
The doctor looked at him for a second before nodding. "Yes, Yoongi-ssi. I want to rule that out. Is that okay with you?"
Yoongi nodded. "Everyone already thinks I'm going crazy, might as well confirm it, don't we?"
The doctor got a sympathetic smile on his face. "I don't believe you're going crazy. Crazy is definitely not the right word either, Yoongi-ssi. We don't ever use it. Even if you were to have schizophrenia or if something else would be diagnosed, you wouldn't be crazy."
He doesn't think I'm crazy?
Yoongi smiled softly. "Thank you."
"We'll figure this out, don't worry. How about we set an appointment for next week?"
---------
When Yoongi walked out of the room he saw Namjoon waiting on one of the seats. He had a mask on and his hoodie covering half his face, but Yoongi could see he was smiling the moment he saw him.
"Hyung, how did it go?" Namjoon asked as he got up, ready to leave.
"I'm coming back for another appointment next week," Yoongi said softly. "He wants to rule out a few...conditions."
Namjoon nodded. "I'll come with you again."
"No, Joon, really, that's not necessary. I'm fine on my own." Yoongi said quickly as they walked towards the car parked outside.
"You look like you can pass out any moment," Namjoon said. Yoongi was about to protest again, but Namjoon gave him a serious look. "I mean it, hyung, you don't look fine. I know you're exhausted. I don't want you fainting on me, alright?"
Yoongi nodded and silently sat down, starting the car. Namjoon turned on some music once he sat in the passenger's seat and then became focused on his phone while Yoongi drove them back to the BigHit building. They had a few interviews today, so they wouldn't be going home anytime soon.
Yoongi didn't look forward to the interviews, but he figured it was part of his job. There weren't any fun interviews scheduled, however, and he knew they were going to be asked the same boring questions over and over again. Still, part of the job, and besides that they did it for ARMY. Their fans enjoyed watching the videos, so Yoongi was happy if they could make their fans happy, even with repetitive interviews.
A small gust of wind went through the car, but only Yoongi seemed to notice it. Namjoon was still looking at his phone.
Where did that come from? The windows were closed, there couldn't possibly have been any-
The hairs on his arms and in his neck stood on end. A shiver went down his spine when he heard it...
"Yooongi~."
"AH!!" Yoongi screamed and stepped on the break, making Namjoon scream as well. The car tires screeched, but Yoongi didn't stop the car completely, it had just been a reflex.
"What the heck, hyung?!!" Namjoon shouted, looking at Yoongi with anger in his eyes. "I almost threw my phone through the window!"
Yoongi felt himself shaking, but continued driving. He forced himself to keep his hands on the steering wheel and his eyes on the road, but his instincts told him to look around, to look for the demon because he knew that was its voice again.
"I-I-I'm sorry." He stuttered, his eyes wide. "I-I thought I heard something."
Namjoon let out a deep breath. "Holy shit, hyung, you're lucky we're not on the highway or you would've caused a serious accident by stepping on the break like that."
"H-How do you know, you can't even drive." Yoongi snapped, but he wasn't really angry, he was terrified, so it came out rather weak.
"Common sense?" Namjoon muttered, frowning at his friend. Namjoon could probably feel that something was off. They'd known each other for too long. "You heard that...demon?"
Yoongi gulped. "Yes."
"I didn't hear anything," Namjoon mumbled.
How hadn't Namjoon heard anything? Had Yoongi imagined it? That...that wasn't possible. It was strange though...'usually', he wouldn't hear or see things when there was someone else with him.
Yoongi squinted his eyes when he saw an obstacle on the road. He wasn't sure what it was, but perhaps-
"AHH!!" Yoongi screamed again, this time flinging the wheel to the left so sharply that they almost toppled over.
Namjoon was screaming as well, until Yoongi finally brought the car to a stop. They were both breathing hard, eyes wide in shock.
Namjoon looked at Yoongi in disbelief. "W-What the...what happened?! You can't just do something like that, hyung!! You almost flipped the car!! WE COULD'VE DIED, YOU IDIOT HYUNG!!! "
"I SAW IT AGAIN!" Yoongi yelled, slamming his hand on the dashboard and letting his head fall down. "I saw it again...damn it I am going crazy."
Namjoon went silent as he realized what was going on. He bit his lip when he heard Yoongi sniffle; he was crying. Shit, what was he going to do now?
"Hyung..." he said softly.
"W-What?" Yoongi said, looking up at Namjoon.
Namjoon gave him a sad smile. "You've had a rough day. A rough week, even. You need sleep. It's only logical that this...this shit is getting worse. You shouldn't be driving right now. I'm calling Taehyung, alright? He can bring someone and drive us home. I just need you to park the car on the side of the road, okay?"
Yoongi sniffled and nodded. He started the car again and brought it to the side of the road. They had been lucky that so far there hadn't been much traffic; the few cars that had crossed them luckily understood that something was wrong and just went around them.
While Namjoon was busy calling Taehyung, Yoongi kept shaking and crying silently.
"Hyung, what's wrong? We're okay now, we're parked. Nothing can happen." Namjoon said when he noticed.
Yoongi hid his face in his hands, his soft sobbing not stopping.
"Hyung?" Namjoon asked again, a little hesitant.
Yoongi wasn't okay. It wouldn't be okay.
He could still hear the voice.
It didn't go away...
It only got worse.
"Yoongi~ you can't hide from me~."