real life
After Taylor had woken up and received the news from Tree, she had put on some clothes along with a beanie and a pair of sunglasses to go for a run and clear her head. With a bandana around the lower half of her face, she was unrecognisable.
She managed to get a few miles around the block before her lungs gave out and she continued walking the rest of the way back home. She stopped by the coffee shop on her street and got two black coffees to go. It felt great to be able to walk into a café and not have a dozen cameras shoved in her face.
There shouldn't have been any cameras last night. Having been followed for the better part of her life by photographers, she had grown accustomed to noticing whenever her picture was being taken. It had become sort of a talent of hers, if you will. And last night, sure there were a few cameras pointing their way at the restaurant and as they were leaving, but Taylor was pretty sure no one had seen them in her car. Besides, it had only been for a second or two. She could have missed it... with her focus centred solely around August last night. She might have definitely missed the stupid phone pointed their way.
Her curiosity had been getting the better of her all morning. Though she had decided to stay off social media for a while, she knew she had to at least check it out for herself. Years had gone by since she had truly allowed something so small worm its way into the worst part of her thoughts but when she got home, she couldn't stop herself from grabbing her phone and opening twitter, knowing the picture would be the first thing she would see.
It was pretty blurry and pixelated. That was the first thing she had noticed. Which meant whoever had taken the picture would have been pretty far away and it must have only been a phone camera. She couldn't have possibly seen whoever it was and prevented it.
And still, her mind still travelled back to the past. How she had let carelessness come between them. How she couldn't deal with it all and had let them slip away so easily.
Taylor couldn't go through that again.
"Good morning!"
Taylor jumped in surprise, dropping her phone on the kitchen counter she was leaning against. She chuckled awkwardly, pulling her hair away from her face; it had become quite matted with sweat from her earlier run.
"Hey! You're up!"
"Oh, I've been up for a while," August explained. Taylor noticed she had her curls plopped in an old t-shirt, fresh out of the shower. "Good run?"
"Uh, yeah, I mean as good as runs can get," Taylor chuckled softly. "I got coffee."
"You really know how to treat a woman, don't ya?" August said with a wide grin, walking over to Taylor to grab one of the disposable cups. She pressed a kiss on Taylor's cheek, lingering close for just a second too long before settling back down next to her. "Thank you."
"Of course," Taylor smiled but her eyes only darted back to her phone, the screen now black. But with a single swipe of her finger, she would be looking at the picture again.
August seemed to have caught on. "It's not that big of a deal, is it?" She asked, opening up the lid to blow on the coffee that was still steaming hot.
"No, probably not," Taylor murmured. "I mean, you're okay, right?"
August nodded, shooting her a small smile while she sipped at her cup. "Yeah, I don't mind if people talk. But... I know you're probably not thrilled about it. How are you doing?"
Taylor shrugged. She really wasn't thrilled about it. She didn't like her relationships being out there on display for the whole world. Especially since for the most part, the tabloids tended to paint her in a horribly bad shade for being an adult who has dated a few people. It had strained many of her relationships, most of which she didn't really care about anymore soon after. But some really hurt. When a person you really cared about was pushed out of your life because of what the internet had to say, it really fucking ruined you. She couldn't afford to go through that again.
"I'm fine, don't worry about me," Taylor said. "I probably stink right now, so, I'm gonna go and shower."
"Okay, stinky," August teased her playfully and Taylor couldn't help but chuckle as she exited the kitchen. "Oh, and if you're not back by the time I'm done with my coffee, I'm having yours," August called back.
"I'll try to be quick then," Taylor promised, but it seemed as though she had taken the longest shower in the world. She was procrastinating, because she wasn't fine.
Her throat felt tight and dry, like she was attempting to swallow a whole bag of cotton balls. She hadn't felt that anxious in months, maybe even longer.
Probably since she and Joe had called it quits early in the year after that one article had come out months prior and things had started to go downwards.
All it took was one article.
When she had finally come out of the shower, she didn't feel any better. She put on a pair of sweatpants and an oversized sweater and even wasted time blow-drying her hair. Even then, she still felt a little sick. Like she might throw up at any second but it just wouldn't come out.
Eventually, it was August who had come to her room and knocked on the door before softly opening it and poking her head inside.
"Aaaare you decent?" She asked, her eyes glued to the carpet. Taylor appreciated her boundaries, but she still chuckled.
"Doesn't really matter after last night, does it?" She said jokingly snd August laughed, finally opening the door completely.
"I still wouldn't wanna make you uncomfortable," she said. "Anyway, I just came to tell you I'm going over to Niko's. His grandma's making lasagna and I'm a sucker for that so... do you wanna come?"
"Thank you but, I have a little bit of work I need to get done," she responded. It wasn't a total lie. She had a lot of stuff she had to get done for promoting her album further, but it wasn't anything she couldn't have postponed.
August hesitated by the door for a second before her smile reappeared and she tapped her fingers against the wood. "Alright, then, I guess I'll see you later tonight. Don't work yourself too hard."
"I won't." Taylor smiled but it never quite reached her eyes.
With one last wave, August shouldered her bag and headed downstairs. Taylor waited until she heard the front door click before she got up. But as soon as she did, her phone rang. She felt a sudden, welcome wave of relief when she saw her mother's picture appear on her screen. It was weird but she ignored it for now.
"Hey, sweetie!"
"Hi, mom!" Taylor started and before her mom could start bombarding with the usual questions and random gossip, Taylor found herself saying, "can I come home for a few days?"
Her mom was quiet for a few seconds. The silence was very heavy. Even Taylor hadn't understood why she had blurted that out but the more time had passed, the more she felt it was the best decision for now.
"Oh, of course, baby, what kind of question is that?" Andrea responded with a light laugh but Taylor could hear the confusion in her voice. "Did something happen?"
Taylor was sure her mother had probably already seen the tabloids this morning. Her question was much deeper than just that.
"No, no. Don't worry. I just need a breather," Taylor explained.
"Of course! Is August coming with you?"
Taylor chewed on the inside of her cheek, already on her way to open her dresser. "Uh, no. Just me and the cats this time."
"Alright. Just making sure though, you're okay, right?"
Taylor rolled her eyes, resting her phone between her shoulder and her ear while she picked out a handful of random t-shirts and jeans. "Yeah, mom. Everything's fine."
"Okay, then. Just text me the details and I'll pick you up from the airport?"
"Sounds good! Bye! Love you."
"I love you too, Taylor. Take care."
"You too, mom."
Taylor hung up the phone and tossed it onto her still unmade bed. When she glanced back at it, memories of the previous night, rolling between the white sheets, bare limbs tangled up with August's... she shook her head and went back to picking out enough clothes to
last her a few days. Probably longer.
It didn't take her long. She already had most of the essentials ready in a go-bag. The only real trouble was getting the cats in order but that, she was a pro at.
She had her security team send her a car just minutes later and it wasn't until she had found herself aboard the jet that she pulled out her phone and opened her messages with August.
Fucking hell, she felt like an asshole. But she also knew she couldn't stay in New York for now.
T: hey! so, something came up urgently and I need to head to my mom's place for a while. Obviously, the apartment's ur home so don't worry about a thing. Take care! x
She was being a coward. She knew that as the plane started speeding down the runway. But when she was finally up in the air, she could already feel her throat relax, her anxiety subsiding. Still. Her mind never stopped calling her all sorts of horrible names.
And she could only agree.