I've spent the day in my room, the empty teacup in the bin by now. I added little details in the room, that makes me feel more at home.
Around the room, I've added some scented candles, the same ones I used at home to make me feel more at ease.
Everything is tidy, but I bet it won't last for a long time.
I won't hear mom's voice scolding me anymore, telling me to clean up or open a window.
The sun has already started to set, and I wonder briefly what I'm going to eat. I'll just order some food because I'm not going out to have dinner by myself.
So instead of going out, I order a salad since I'm not that hungry because of my nerves. I'm stressing out about my classes.
I worry that I'm going to get lost and run late for my class. To then walk into a full auditorium in which everyone's eyes will be on me.
Inhaling deeply, I sit down behind my desk and look up my schedule, to know what I have and when.
It'll be alright.
I have another day to just relax and enjoy the fact that I don't have classes until Monday. Another day to lounge around and do nothing.
I'm somewhat calmed down when my food arrives, and I decide to watch a movie to pass the time.
Sitting down on my bed, I fold my legs underneath me and start eating. I'm halfway through the movie when there's a knock on my door.
I look outside and see it's already dark out. I wonder who it could be as I stand up and head for the door.
Squinting my eyes as I look through the peephole, I exhale in relief when I see it's Delilah. I'm surprised to see her, but greet her with a smile nonetheless when I open the door.
"Hey," I say, not knowing what else to say. "Hey, sorry to drop by just like this. But I was wondering if you wanted to join a party tomorrow night with me? So you can get to know a few people around here?" she asks and tilts her head to the side.
A party? With other people?
I bite my lip, my instant answer being a 'no'. But I promised myself to go out. To learn how to enjoy everything and make new friends.
A bit hesitant, I nod. "Sure," I reply, my tone clipped and short. But this is a big step for me.
Delilah sends me a big smile and claps her hands. "Good! It's going to be a lot of fun, trust me," she grins and hugs me.
"I'll knock at your door tomorrow night at around nine-thirty, that sound good?"
"Yeah, that's perfect," I breathe and watch her walk back towards her room, telling me that she's glad I agreed.
I can take this opportunity to get to know more people and socialize. And maybe even meet a few people who have the same classes I do.
And who are kind enough to show me around campus...
Shaking my head, I realize I'm getting ahead of myself and closing the door, happy that I'm going out tomorrow since this is a chance that could work out well for me.
Resuming the movie, I notice that my nerves have calmed down a bit.
I was planning on getting breakfast. I had it in mind to look up a cute place that served breakfast, but I wasn't in the mood to see other people.
So I ordered breakfast.
You can't just stay in your dorm the whole time.
For a second, I debate calling mom or dad to ask them to come to pick me up. But I decide against it.
I already picked my outfit for tomorrow. Nothing that stands out but nothing too boring either.
I then went through my books and put the books in my bag that I'll need for tomorrow. After preparing my bag, I took out the books I brought from home and set them up on a shelf. I only brought my favorite reads.
Then my sister Aurora called, asking how I'm settling down and if everything is alright.
I called with her for hours on end. Now that she's almost graduating herself, she has more time to call and check up on me.
And my one-year-old little nephews never fails to make me smile. Aurora has a hard time juggling both her classes and the mom-life, but her husband helps her plenty with everything.
As soon as I end the call with my sister, I call my best friend.
Violet picks up, and then her face appears on the screen. Streaks of blue hair meet my eyes, and I smile at the color of the month.
"Hey you," she grins as soon as she sees me. "Hey," I sigh and place my phone on my desk. "How's the college life?" she asks, knowing well that I've only been here for a day.
"As good as it can get. I'd give you a tour of my dorm, but I want you to see it for yourself when you visit me next weekend."
"Good, I want to see it in real life, too," she says and shoves another handful of chips into her mouth.
"What's up?"
"I'm going to a party tonight," I inform her and roll my eyes when her eyebrows shoot up in the air. "Oh?"
"Yes, and I need help choosing an outfit. Do I wear something casual? Or do I put effort into my looks?"
"A bit of effort but not too much."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just... wear a skirt with an oversized sweater or something. Or a pair of jeans with a top. Nothing that makes you seem lazy but also nothing that makes it appear as if you've put too much effort into it."
"Hmm, I see," I murmur as I eye my closet.
"Who are you going with? You're not exactly the type the go out by yourself."
"I know," I chuckle, "and the girl who lives across from me asked me to join her."
"That's sweet of her! Hopefully, she'll make a good friend."
"I hope so too," I murmur as I look through my clothes. I don't want any creeps to put their hands on my bare thighs, but they might do the same thing when I'm wearing jeans.
Shaking my head, I settle on a skirt with a sweater, not wanting to wear too much. I add some simple jewelry.
I decide to let my straight hair fall over my back, not planning on doing anything special with it.
"How is it?" I ask and show Vi my outfit. She looks over it and nods in approval. "Perfect. Now enjoy."
"You're so dry sometimes," I mutter and spritz some perfume on.
"I'm just enjoying my food and the last day before classes begin. Are you nervous?"
"I don't think I've ever been more nervous," I murmur, "and you?"
"I don't care," she shrugs. "I'm able to take some classes online if I want to, so I'll see."
I regret not taking the opportunity to take online classes. The anxiety I'm feeling now would've been less.
"At what time is the party?" Violet asks. "I think it was around nine-thirty," I reply.
"And you're getting ready now?"
"Leave me be," I murmur and say goodbye to her after a few minutes, letting her continue watching her show.
Violet and I have known each other since we were five, and have been inseparable since. It's weird going to school without her, not seeing her face every day, and talking hours on end about certain topics.
But at least she's not too far away and she can visit on the weekends.
Looking down at my clothes, I chuckle as I realize she's right. It's too early to be dressing up and readying myself for the party tonight.
I'd rather be too early than too late.
After having watched a few movies and ordered some food - again - the long-awaited knock resounds at the door.
I jump up a bit too quickly and eagerly, smoothing out my clothes and fluffing up my hair. I put my shoes on and grab my bag, before going to the door and opening it.
Delilah sends me a happy smile when she sees me and hugs me. She's dressed in a pair of pants with a top, nothing too much either.
My shoulders slump in relief that I can blend in tonight.
"You look good," she compliments me, making me blush a bit. "Thank you, so do you."
She sends me another smile and drags me over the threshold of my dorm, giving me enough time to lock my door.
"Is the party far from here?" I ask her as we head for the elevator. "Not at all, it's from a walking distance, so we both can get drunk if we want," she winks.
Getting drunk... right.
On the way down to the ground floor, I ask Delilah if she knows a lot of people at the party to which she says yes to. It weirdly calms me down hearing that she'll introduce me to everyone.
Maybe I can make a good impression and get to know more people on campus. Have more friends and even meet possible classmates.
Delilah wasn't joking that the party was within walking distance.
One street away is a street filled with fraternities and sororities. And I can hear the music of a party coming from one of the houses.
One of the biggest ones, might I add. People are everywhere, giving me the vibe as if I'm in a movie.
"Come, it's over there," Delilah says and drags me over there. "My boyfriend is already inside," she informs me over her shoulder.
I can feel the bass go through me when we are near, and it's like I'm inside an arena as we enter the large mansion.
My hands grow sweaty upon entering, and I'm being squeezed between people.
You'll live, suck it up.
A red cup is thrust into my hand out of nowhere, and I don't even see the person to thank them as they rush past me.
Knowing better than to trust whatever is in there, I place the cup down on a table and follow Delilah.
We walk into another room, where she lets go of my hand and runs into the arms of a guy who smiles down at her and kisses her.
So that's her boyfriend, obviously. He sends me a kind grin when Delilah introduces us, but that's all that happens.
I mutter out a shy 'hi' while he sends me a nod in acknowledgment and goes back to talking to his friend. Delilah greets the other people that surround him.
Names fly in one ear, and right out of the other. I can't keep up with everyone's face, but smile nonetheless and introduce myself every time.
My hand is being shaken sometimes or sometimes all I get is a small smile. Well, this is going great.
But Delilah never strays from my side, remaining with me the whole time - still talking to other people but occasionally talking to me as well, involving me or asking me how I'm enjoying the party.
Which is much appreciated by me.
My overthinking mind races with all kinds of thoughts, and my body heats up as I sometimes feel an indifferent gaze go over me, not lingering longer than one second before moving on.
And yet I feel like everyone is judging me.
I feel like my legs are being stared at, or that people find my clothing combination weird. What if my hair doesn't look as good as I thought it did? What if my skirt has ridden up?
I think Delilah doesn't like me that much, but that she only asked me to join out of pity. I mean, she doesn't even know me.
I frown. Why did she ask me out?
Her friends clearly don't like me and I don't find myself liking them back. They're not super social and fuck them.
I can feel my anxiety rise and my hands are starting to shake.
"Hey, I'll go find the bathroom, be right back," I shout in Delilah's ear. She looks at me. "Want me to help you find one?"
"I'll manage, thanks though," I force out and turn around, leaving the room and walking into the crowd.
People keep on bumping into me, and I'm pretty sure someone spilled their beer on me. I'm being pushed in random directions, but still, find my way up the stairs.
It's just as crowded in the hallway upstairs. Bodies are lying on the ground, either passed out or just sleeping. A couple is making out down the hallway.
There's a whole line waiting to enter the bathroom, and as I enter another hallway, it's the same thing here.
People are walking up and down the hallway, pushing past me or even stumbling into me.
Fuck this.
Finding the nearest door, I enter it and slam it shut behind me. The music is just as loud, but at least I'm alone.
I turn around and find myself in a random bedroom. It's pretty plain if you ask me. Only a bed and a desk, with clothes littered around everywhere and a few books on the desk.
There's a vague smell of sweat and body axe that has me scrunching my nose up, and the wooden creak underneath my feet reminds me of a horror movie in which the girl walks right into the trap.
But the room is empty, and that's what matters.
I feel like I can finally breathe and relax. My muscles are all coiled up from me tensing them up.
Walking further into the room, I spot the books on the desk and frown, walking over to them and seeing that they're textbooks.
Why would someone be studying in the middle of summer vacation?
Maybe they're just checking out the content of what they're going to learn.
I turn around and plan on exploring the room more, only to let out a scream when I see a person standing behind me.
With a loud gasp, I steady myself against the desk. My heart is going a million miles per hour.
"The fuck are you doing in here?"
. . .
If I see a comment referring to 'After' because of the college party, I'm going to actually kms.