Oliver
I woke up to Julian crying.
Again.
We had fallen asleep on the sofa but when I woke up, I transferred him to his bed about 20 minutes ago.
I thought he would sleep through the night but that seemed unlikely now.
My heart broke for this little boy.
So much has happened to him in such a short amount of time.
He deserved the world.
His personality is so much like his father, Theo, not the fucking asshole that abandoned him. Just thinking about Lewis makes my blood pressure rise. I had to take a snack break because I got so angry that the twins were kicking up a storm.
After I put Julian in his bed, i went back into the living room and was scrolling through social media.
I landed in the "trending" category of the tags of Twitter. Somehow I was reading an article on some gossip website about Lewis and his newest boyfriend on vacation.
Lewis was out there living his life and pretending that he didn't have a kid that he just abandoned.
He had the audacity to think I was the help. I could have been a crazed fan that broke into Theo's house and Lewis didn't even ask about if I was even qualified to care for a child.
It goes to show just how little that man cared for his child.
He was off gallivanting with rich men and according to another news source just got his new make up line picked up by Macy's and Ulta beauty. It was rated a 9.4 out of 10 in "the beauty world" magazine and apparently the make up was so amazing that representatives from NYC fashion week wanted to created an exclusive color pallet for their models come next spring.
So this man definitely had money, yet his parents who were raising his kid, lost everything because they couldn't afford to pay their bills plus medical expenses.
Lewis is truly a dirt bag.
Julian is the sweetest little boy in the world. It breaks my heart that the man who gave birth to him literally pretends he doesn't exist.
I was pulled from my thoughts when a red faced teary eyed toddler ran up to me. The poor kid looked a mess. He needed some cuddles and a relaxing lavender bath.
I may be pregnant but in my heart I knew this boy needed some cuddles. So I picked him up and gave him the biggest hug I could give him. I didn't even care when I felt him wipe is runny nose on the shoulder of my t shirt.
Since he was dropped off here the poor thing has been having what i think are nightmares. He's been waking up in the middle of the night or he would sleep through the night but wake up soaked.
I couldn't even be upset with how clingy he's been with me. The poor thing probably thinks I'll leave him too.
I hugged him just a little bit tighter and rubbed his back to help soothe him.
I was so thankful that I had put a pull up on him because I soon felt the warmth that radiated from it.
Most of the books I read said that bed wetting for regression with potty training is normal in children that experienced trauma.
Seeing one of his grandparents suffer a severe injury, losing the house he grew up in, Being given up by the only family he knew and then being abandoned by is dad definitely qualifies as traumatic.
Poor thing was embarrassed to wear pull ups because in his own words he was a "big boy"
But I didn't want to keep changing the bedding or having him in clothes that ended up being soaked in urine. At least a pull-up will contain the mess and keep his clothes dry.
I walked over to the master bathroom. The bathtub was bigger and the shower had one of those removable shower heads that made bathing him easier.
Julian played with the bath toys I bought for him. His favorite toy was the little fishing pole that was magnetic and he could use it to catch the little magnetic fish.
Hearing his perfect laugh was the best sound ever
"M fishin' look it oli" he said
Julian has the cutest lisp. But Sometimes when he was talking too fast he would stutter and get frustrated to the point where he would throw himself and scream.
When he had a huge tantrum 2 days ago, I did the only think I could do.
I invited his grandparents over.
They were over the moon grateful. I couldn't even be mad at them considering the circumstances that lead them to giving up such a perfect child.
They've done all they could to care for this little boy but due to heartbreaking circumstances they had to give him back to their son. I'm sure they never thought their child would just abandon Julian but when they realized Julian would be going to live with his other dad they took the time to write a note.
As soon as they entered through the front door Julian stopped crying and ran to them. He was mindful of his grandfather that was in the wheel chair. That didn't stop the man from scooping Julian up and giving him a huge hug. I went to the kitchen to give them privacy and to get snacks.
They really are amazing people and to hear their story broke my heart. You could see it in their eyes, just how sad they were knowing that Julian was here and not with them.
They spoke about how they weren't really sure who Julian's other father was because their son had a new man every few weeks. Apparently Theo was his longest relationship but their som had a history of being with multiple men at a time without them knowing about each other.
When they left Julian went back to crying but because I exchanged numbers with them I was able to show Julian how to face time them from my cellphone. Yeah a four year old shouldn't be knowing how to work a phone but hey he was videoing his family not starting a social media account.
I know he missed them and all of this is probably confusing to him.
By the time bath time was over I carefully scooped Julian out the tub and wrapped him in a soft blanket.
I bought some all natural lotion with essential oils to help children sleep. Andy uses this when Savvy and Josie are too worked up and need to relax before bed.
Julian laughed when I rubbed the lotion on his stomach because he was ticklish there.
Suddenly I hissed because one of the twins kicked me super hard.
I rubbed my belly in hopes of encouraging my future soccer player to relax.
I noticed that Julian was looking at me confused.
I took his hand and placed it where his sibling was kicking. He got scared and looked like he was about to cry.
"No love don't be sad. This is your little brother or sister. You're going to be a big brother" I said
"Shissur? Brower?" He asked and placed his hands back on my belly.
I knew he meant sister or brother.
Julian's grandparents said that before the accident happened they were going to set him up with a speech therapist to help with his speaking. That's definitely something that could be beneficial in the long run but for now Julian needed to get used to what would be his new home. He needed to meet his other dad and the rest of our family before we introduce a doctor into his life.
"Yeah. But we won't know for a while. When they get older you can show them all sorts of things." I said
"Cwool" he responded
"Yes very cool. Now choose a pull up. You can have race cars or fire trucks" I said holding up 2 size 4 overnight pull ups.
Julian pointed at the fire truck one.
I helped him get it on and he ran to the standing mirror in Theo's room, Well I guess my room too.
"M cwool. Look it oli" he said while doing a little dance that involved him wiggling his body.
"Very cool. Now how about we get some jammies and get you to bed." I said
"Sweep here?" He asked
I didn't want to fight him on this. He already had a nightmare and he most likely needed extra cuddles"
"Yeah you can sleep here."
After I got him dressed and changed out of my clothes that were wet because of the bath I gave him, Julian passed out in the middle of the bed with his limbs stretched out, thank god this is a king size bed otherwise my pregnant ass would be on the edge.
I snuggled in next to Julian and just looked at his sleeping face. He looked so much like his dad.
The only ones that knew about Julian was Ben and Andy. I told Ben because there were papers involved and I wanted to get the best legal opinion. Andy knew because he basically bum rushed in the apartment when I didn't answer his calls and only wanted to text.
He was convinced that I was being held against my will by an old rich man who might live on the building.
Andy was shocked and his pregnant self started to experience Braxton Hicks due to the stress he felt over the situation. I made him promise not to tell anyone because Theo should've been the first to know.
Julian needs some form of consistency and that's why I hope when Theo finds out about him that he'll allow Julian's grandparents to be in his life.
And let those thoughts wonder out my mind. I'll worry about all that stuff when Theo gets home.
I placed a hand on my belly and felt my babies move. I'm so thankful for them, no matter how they managed to get here.
I know I can parent then and Julian, sure it'll be difficult when Theo goes back to work after he takes his paternity leave when they're born but we can make it work.
Just as I closed my eyes and was ready to go to sleep, I heard the front door to the apartment open.