After showering, I head to the cafeteria to grab some food before our first class begins.
When I walk in, I immediately spot Zayn. He looks at me and then pretends he didn't see me. I walk over to him.
"Zayn," I say. He ignores me. "Zayn!" I try again.
"What?" he snaps.
"What the hell was that this morning?" I ask. "Why were you acting like such a jerk?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," he answers. "Maybe you should ask Niko."
My heart stops. Does he know about what happened in the park last night?
"What are you talking about?" I ask.
"I saw the way you looked at him last night when he left the party," he finally says. "You can say whatever you want, Karina. But, I'm not an idiot."
I breathe out in relief. I guess Eva was telling me the truth after all.
"Zayn, I uh..." I begin.
He stops what he's doing and looks at me.
"So, then I'm right," he retorts.
"Zayn, I thought you and I were just friends," I answer. "Don't you and Eva have a thing, or something?"
"I already told you that Eva and I don't have a thing," he snaps.
He puts some bread and a small bowl of fruit on his tray. I do the same.
"So, are you and Niko now, like, together or something?" he asks.
"No...I don't think so," I answer. And, it's true. I don't know what last night meant. It just happened. I don't know what it means.
"You don't think so?!" he responds. "What does that even mean?"
"Look, Zayn," I begin. "I like you."
His face brightens a bit.
"But, Niko has been in my life for a long time," I add.
His face drops back into an angry scowl.
"And, I don't want to have to choose between either of you being my friends," I finish.
"I sold my favorite pair of sneakers to get those Iggy tickets for you, Karina," he answers.
"So what?" I snap. "Does that mean that you own me now or something?
"No. But, I did it," he responds. "For you."
"I never asked you to do that for me," I scream. "I don't owe you anything!"
"No, Karina, you don't," he answers. "But usually when people go out of their way to do something awesome for you, the least you can do is give them some credit."
I remain silent.
"What has Niko ever even done for you, anyway?" he retorts, almost to himself.
We're now sitting down at a table, red trays in front of each of us, piled-high with steaming hot veggies, heaps of whole grains, fresh fruit and huge glasses of water. Zayn begins to stuff his face with food. I also begin to eat.
"Well, for starters," I respond. "He did kill himself. Or at least pretend to do so, anyway."
"Yeah, but that was a total hoax," says Zayn. "He couldn't even go through with it. He just made a big show for nothing."
"I think you need to watch yourself," I say. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh and what, you're suddenly the All-Knowing goddess of the Squad?" Zayn snaps. "I can't believe you can even trust that fool. He straight-up lied to you."
"Zayn, it's complicated," I answer, backing down a bit. "All of this is just really confusing. I'm trying to figure everything out."
"It's pretty simple," he answers. "Niko's a tool."
I roll my eyes and ignore Zayn's last comment.
We both scarf down our food and finish our glasses of water.
"Thanks again for those tickets, by the way," I say, attempting to change the subject.
"It was a really fun concert," I add. "But, um, turns out she's not my sister. I was wrong."
I want so badly to tell Zayn the truth, but I feel like now isn't the time. He seems so volatile. What if he goes around telling everyone? I need more proof that I can really trust him with my secrets.
"You can't be serious," Zayn says. "My favorite pair of sneakers, Karina!"
"Again," I respond. "I didn't ask you for that."
He looks at me and doesn't say anything. There's a bit of an awkward silence.
"Look," I say. "I just need some space to figure everything out."
"Isn't that supposed to be what I say to you?" Zayn jokes, laughing just a little.
"I'm going to pretend like you didn't just say that," I respond.
"I'll figure out how to make it up to you for the sneakers," I add. "I promise."
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Kishmish," he teases.
"I never do," I say.
We both sit for a couple of minutes in silence, letting our food digest. There is a moment when I feel like Zayn is going to say something, but he doesn't and it passes.
"Plus," I pipe up again. "We have the great mystery of Element X to solve together."
"That's all me and you," I add, giving Zayn a playful punch on the arm.
Then, I pop out of my seat and give Zayn a quick kiss on the cheek. He smiles.
"I'll see you around, Z!" I say, as I dash toward the door.
I glance back at him as I exit the room, but his face is turned away from me. He slumps in his chair a bit. I'm sad that he's feeling down, but I can't worry about him right now.
There's just too much going on.
I exit the cafeteria and head to my first, official, GS class - History 101.