Chapter Twenty-One
I woke up feeling heavy and sore.
It felt like my head had split open. How many times was I going to wake up feeling like someone used my head for dodge-ball practice?
I tried to reach up and rub the headache away, but I couldn't move my arms. I groaned, frustrated as I tried to untangle them, but no matter how much I shook my arms and tugged at them, they wouldn't move.
Slightly panicking, I forced my eyes open, blinking at the darkness that surrounded me. I blinked a few more times and shifted slightly, and suddenly bright white lights flashed in my eyes and I hissed, slamming my eyes shut again. I hesitated, however, because my hiss was muffled. I tried to stretch my jaw, then froze as the feeling came back into the rest of my body. My arms were twisted uncomfortably around me straitjacket style and something was covering my mouth... a muzzle, but it didn't feel like the one Akin normally used, nor did the jacket. I tried to rip it off, but there was a heavy layer of magic preventing it.
I rolled over onto my side, breathing hard through my nose, blinking past my throbbing headache, peering my eyes open, squinting against the bright lights. I found myself face down on a clean white floor, half-carpeted, half-tiled. I looked up past my hair, grimacing at the lights and trying to focus on what lay beyond the blindingly white floor and it appeared to be a wall made entirely of mirrors.
I froze at the sight of myself laying on the floor, my stomach dropping.
Like I suspected, I was wearing a straitjacket, tight with my arms twisted behind my back and a matching muzzle that covered my mouth and buckled at the back of my head. Judging from the fact that my hair was greasy and my skin felt chalky, I hadn't bathed in a while...
What the hell am I doing here? What is here?
How did I get here?
I frowned, trying to remember what happened. I shut my eyes tightly, focusing better without the lights. I remembered blurry images... I went to see Raven, and then the restaurant... I went to dinner, I think? But everything after that was blanked out. The last thing I remember doing is stupidly putting wasabi on my sushi.
Ow.
But there was no way that would land me here, wherever here was. I blinked and looked back up at the mirror uneasily, waiting to see if maybe it was a two-way mirror and someone was watching me from the other side, but nothing happened. I rolled back over onto my other side, frowning at the plain blank black wall there. I tried to speak past the muzzle, but it was buckled so tight that it felt like it was digging into my face.
I squirmed again to no avail, then shut my eyes and sent my powers out, reaching for anyone who was nearby. I managed to pick up on power signatures on the other side of the two-way mirror and I recognized one of them as Hades right away. His was the largest power source and it matched the power in the jacket on me. I narrowed my eyes.
Oh, of course. Hades would love to put me in this situation.
The question is... why?
I shut my eyes again.
Hades... Hades, I know you can hear me, even through the concrete in the walls. What am I doing here? I waited several long moments and nothing happened. A small sliver of alarm rang through me that he wasn't responding. I focused on the other two power sources inside the room, but I couldn't really recognize them through the haze.
Hades? Who's with you? What's going on? Where am I? Damn it, answer me, you asshole! You owe me that much!
I was met with more silence. I swallowed nervously, laying on my back now, listening to the ear-ringing silence around me. I couldn't even hear if anyone was talking to Hades on the other side of the two-way mirror. It was driving me insane to be forced to lay here and not hear anything. Worse, it gave me time to think on my own and I didn't want to think. For some reason, I felt sick and disoriented and anxious beyond belief. There was an underlying fearful giddiness that I couldn't explain. A sense of panic and fear I hadn't felt in a long time.
I briefly wondered if maybe I'd just dreamed up my whole return from Atlantis and this was actually Atlan torturing me, but he would be here, right now, watching. That was the kind of person Atlan was.
Maybe I went insane, I realized. Had I done something and just didn't remember? What could've happened? What did I do? More fear rushed through me like ice cold water and I rolled back over onto my side, staring at the two-way mirror.
Hades, what's going on? Talk to me. Where's Akin? Is he okay? Hades, say something! Anything!
I listened to the silence and dropped my head to the floor, groaning low in my throat. I bashed my head against the floor again and this time I heard something thump against the two-way mirror and I jerked my head up, staring at it. I threw my powers at the mirrored room, but something went up and blocked me from it.
Hades, stop! What's going on?! Let me see Akin! I need to see him!
Not even a thump answered me this time and I felt like screaming. What the hell was going on? Why was I in this cold place? Why did the lights turn on when I woke up and moved? Were they just triggered by movement or had someone been watching me and turned the lights on?
Let me out, Hades! At least let me see Akin!
Something inside me had to see him. My usual ache was turning into flat out desperation and it was making me panic. What happened to Akin? Had he gotten hurt? Had... had I hurt him?
I slumped against the floor on my side, staring straight ahead as that new fear washed over me like a bitter cold tidal wave.
I couldn't remember doing anything, but that had to explain this situation, right? Had I done something to hurt him and not even realize it? What had I done? Had I done what that nightmare said I would do?
Did... Did I hurt Akin?
Was he... alive?
I squeezed my eyes shut and curled up tightly.
Please, Hades... Please. Please tell me Akin's all right. Please tell me he's alive. Give me that much and you can keep me in Tartarus for all I care.
I bashed my head against the floor again in frustration until I heard a voice at the back of my mind.
He's alive. Hades's voice responded. My eyes flew open and I squirmed until I was sitting up on my knees, facing the two-way mirror.
Hades? Where is he? Is he okay? He's not hurt, is he?
Define hurt.
Hades, don't fuck with me! Show me Akin! I want proof! I don't believe you!
I waited in frustrated silence, convinced Hades was going to purposely ignore me to watch me suffer, but the two-way mirror flickered and faded away to reveal Hades standing on the other side of the two-way mirror... with two gods I hadn't seen in centuries.
I somehow recognize the god, Dionysus, standing at Hades's side. With dark curly hair and piercing green eyes, Dionysus looked suspiciously like Akin's favorite actor, Adrien Brody, with the long stern nose and eyes that seemed open and friendly, but was a complete mismatch for his obnoxious personality. He was decked out in a silk black shirt and matching dress pants, arms folded over his chest. Even more shocking was his brother, Ares, who stood beside him. Ares was beefy and muscular from eons of battle and strict training regiments, his thick wavy brown hair was tied in a loose ponytail over his shoulder and he was decked out like a stereotypical biker thug. He even leaned on the wall with one leg propped up against it while he watched us with blue eyes that were far too similar to Zeus's for my tastes.
What the...
"Glad you're awake, hybrid," Hades greeted dryly, "You should be grateful that I'm helping you, because nothing, and I mean nothing, is important enough for me to contact these two idiots." Dionysus wrinkled his nose, then looked at Ares.
"I get the feeling Uncle Hades hates us." He mused, making Ares roll his eyes.
"Noo," Hades said slowly, turning to face him, "I fucking adore you, you pathetic shit. In fact, love you so much that I need you to put on your big boy pants and teach the hybrid." I glared at them in irritation.
Teach me what?
"Teach him what, he asks," Hades translated my incoherent growling to his nephews, who shared droll stares, and Hades tsked, approaching the window to stare at me, "I'll leave that up to these two. The only love you're getting from me is this and nothing more. You made quite a mess of a peaceful family and that's the last time I'm going to let you ruin someone's life. You are hereby banished until you learn not to be a massive cuntfuck." I looked at him, confused and slightly panicked.
What? What do you mean? What happened?
Hades ignored me as he turned to his nephews.
"I'd say try not to kill him, but it's in my best interest that you do kill him. In fact, this guy here is the only true immortal out there that we know of and you can just kill him over and over again all you want and I implore you to try it sometimes. It's fun to snap his neck and rip his heart out while it's still beating. And if you behead him, tell me how it goes. I'm excited." Hades added, though, there was something about his grim expression that contradicted his statement.
"We're trained professionals," Dionysus reassured, "Go back to your homo-frolicking. We have a beast to tame." Hades gave him an unimpressed glare.
"Mm. We're Greek. Homosexuality is in our blood, douchebag." He answered, then slammed his shoulder into Dionysus's on his way out of their tiny room. As soon as the door shut, Dionysus mouthed the word "ow" repeatedly while clutching his shoulder.
"Oh my god, I think I was just hit by a fucking bulldozer. His shoulder checks hurt worse than Nemesis's during that time of the month." He groaned. Ares gave him a bored stare, then walked past him toward a door that seemed to be hidden beside the window. It slid up into the ceiling, allowing him entry and Dionysus trailed along behind him sullenly.
I glared at them warily, slowly rising onto my feet.
"Jeez," Dionysus noted, cocking his head at me and folding his arms over his chest, "He reminds me of you back in the day. I swear, you guys invented that glare." Ares didn't answer him as he scanned me from head to toe, unimpressed. I narrowed my eyes at him. I had no idea what Hades was up to, or what Dionysus meant by tame the beast, but it reminded me of Drak's words and it infuriated me.
These assholes weren't coming anywhere near me.
"We should probably take off that muzzle." Ares said after a moment. Dionysus grimaced.
"Hades said he bites. Dunno about you, but the only bites I like are from a woman." He assured, making Ares roll his eyes. Ares flung his hand out at me and I backed up quickly until I realized he was dissolving the muzzle around my mouth so it fell to the ground and turned to ash that disappeared a second later. I stared down at the floor for a moment and catching movement out the corner of my eye from Dionysus shifting made me snap my head up to glare at him again and he held his hands up in surrender.
"Jesus! Those reflexes! Watch it, cuz; you're gonna give yourself whiplash." He warned. I bared my fangs at him, then trained my glare on Ares.
"What's going on? Why are you here? Where's Akin?" I demanded.
"Eh," Dionysus grumbled, "He's gonna keep asking that all day. We might as well--"
"No," Ares cut him off, making him raise an eyebrow, and I pinned him with a glare that he returned tenfold, "Akin doesn't want to see you." I hesitated. What? Why? I clenched my teeth.
"You're lying." I accused. Ares gave me a bored stare now, hooking his thumb in the belt loop of his black jeans, shifting his weight to one leg.
"Ain't lyin', cuz," He said, mocking Dionysus's earlier nickname, making his brother wrinkle his nose in distaste, "Your little attack on him left him pretty freaked out." I froze, his words cutting me like a razor.
"What?" I managed. Ares's eyes practically glowed and I swore for a second, they turned red, then flashed back to their normal blue color.
"Yeah," Ares said slowly, taking a step toward me and I took two more back, "You were screaming things in Atlantean, tearing everything apart, even yourself... And you forced yourself on Akin." My knees buckled and I hit the floor as those words shredded me.
No.
No, that's not possible. I would never hurt Akin like that. I couldn't have. I didn't even like to see Akin cry during his cheesy soap operas, let alone be the one to...
An image of Abel's tear-stained face burned my conscious and I snapped my eyes shut, sinking lower to the ground and pressing my forehead against the floor as pain assailed me. It hurt a hundred times worse than when I was attacked in Styx, in Atlantis, worse than anything Iapetus could've done. I felt sick to my stomach and I wanted to vomit, but there was nothing in my stomach to vomit. I shut my eyes and seethed in pain, my body so tense it was trembling.
"No." I choked through clenched teeth.
"Ares, cut it out," Dionysus said, the humor in his tone gone, "The guy's already torn up about it--"
"No," Ares cut him off sharply and I looked up at them, as Ares met my gaze and held it, "You need to know what you did because you couldn't control it... You know exactly what I'm talking about. That gnawing biting hunger inside you that craves for a taste of blood. When you feel yourself tipping, everything turns red and you can already feel flesh between your teeth, blood flowing down your throat like a thick crisp wine, sweet and bitter at the same time." A tremor cut through me and I looked away, grimacing at the perfect description of the hunger that plagued me against my will.
Granted, this entire time I had thought it was just me being a freak, but even after I found out that it was Atlan who cursed me to this, it didn't help. It didn't make controlling it any easier. If anything, it made it harder, so much harder. Knowing that this hunger would be used against Atlan, or for him and the beast didn't give a shit which side it fought for. It didn't pick sides. It just wanted blood; everyone's blood.
"How did you end up with your curse?" Dionysus asked, looking at me in confusion. I shot him a dirty look.
"Atlan." I snapped. I wasn't sure why I even bothered to answer. Dionysus whistled low, rubbing the back of his neck.
"It's like gods are destined to be screwed over by family, huh?" He said, turning to Ares, who narrowed his eyes. I frowned, looking at Ares.
"Ignore him," Ares responded to my questioning stare, "This isn't about us anyway. This is about you and what you've done with the curse Atlan gave you. And so far, you've done a fat lot of good with it." I glared at him.
"It's a curse, you asshole. There's nothing good about it. If you know so much about it, then you know it's..." My voice trailed. A curse. That's all it was. A curse... a really deadly curse that led me to not only destroy my own life, but those around mine. I destroyed Iapetus's family, destroyed Hades's, and thousands more by killing their sons, fathers, brothers, and now Lucifer's by... My stomach wrenched at that and I squeezed my eyes shut, sinking back down on the floor.
"And what are you going to do about it?" Ares asked. I glared at him.
"Obviously rot in whatever hellhole this is that Hades has put me. It's clear I'm going nowhere. And if you think for one second that I'm going to let you tame me, then you're out of your fucking mind. No one can tame me. Iapetus spent his entire existence on trying to tame me. Zeus and Hades, and Cain, and right when I thought Akin had finally done the impossible..." I cursed and wanted so badly to just smash my skull open on the floor.
"We're not here to tame you," Ares said dryly and when I passed a glare over at Dionysus, who smiled innocently, Ares rolled his eyes, "Again, ignore my dunderhead brother. The only thing we share is a sperm donor. He's just here to keep your sanity in check. I don't do well with raving lunatics." I scowled.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"Actually, that's probably why Hades called us," Dionysus offered, "See, someone neglected to tell him that you and drugs mix like water and oil. It's one of your triggers, if you want to call it that. It didn't mix well with the curse and it made you hallucinate and start screaming in Atlantean. Things like Atlan attacking Hell and Drak showing up in Hell and things like that. For the record, literally have no idea who that second dude is, but his name sounds like a rip off from that dude from Game of Thrones. The big dude... With the hair... and... never mind." His explanation faded the harder Ares and I glared at him to shut up. Ares turned back to me, slowly shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose before frowning at me.
"Do the world favor... Don't take anymore medications. If you want to relax, grab a bottle of whiskey and the TV remote like a normal person. None of this handy-dandy chemicals they scrape off radioactive dog shit." He explained dryly. I glared.
"It was working... I think. For a while." I muttered, trying to think about. I only remember... Actually, I took way more than I was supposed to now that I think of it. I hadn't even noticed that I'd taken a handful the moment Hades had given them to me, then again after I left Raven's, again outside the restaurant... and probably several times afterwards. And here I thought going clean for a few years was going to be curb my addiction.
Once an addict, always an addict, I thought bitterly.
"No," Ares said, "Add it to your list of do not touch with a ten foot pole, right alongside chocolate and rice pudding." I stared at him.
"What?" I asked. Ares gave me a hard stare before approaching me. I started to get up to back away, but he was already in front of me and pressing his palm to my forehead. The scenery around us changed and I was staring at what looked like a film reel that flickered and was faded with a bit of a vintage brownish-orange tint to it.
It was Hades's throne room, massive and open with a deadly black throne at the head of it with Hades's skull and crossbones symbol mounted on the wall behind it. All present were Hades, Dionysus, Ares, and Akin.
My heart broke the moment I saw Akin standing there, looking exhausted, pale, and puffy-eyed. Agony swept through me at the sight of him looking so worn out and broken... and it was all because of me. His beautiful blonde hair was coiled up into a sloppy bun and he wore plain faded black sweatpants... that upon closer inspection where mine, and now that I studied his shirt, it was mine too and he was handing a list to Ares, who took it stoically, his eyes hidden behind a pair of black aviator sunglasses.
"This is everything I could come up with that you need to know about him," Akin said, his voice congested as he sniffed, folding one arm over his chest, "He likes chicory coffee too, but he won't eat chocolate or rice pudding... And... And make sure he has an extra pillow. He likes to have something to hold onto. And he eats three times a day, but let him pile his plate as high as he wants. He needs a lot of food. And he has to only use the shampoo I listed, and he wears that specific shoe size. He has to have them custom made... and steel-toed. He likes steel-toed boots. And if it's cold, make sure he has a jacket, a really cute one, like leather or something Calvin Klein and--"
"He's got it, Akin," Hades interrupted when it was clear Akin was ready to continue into a full length spoken novel, and Akin sniffed helplessly, "Hannibal will be safer with them." Akin's eyes welled up with tears again and he tried to sniff them back to no avail, so he reached up to try and wipe them away before he looked at Ares.
"I don't know you at all, but if Hades trusts you, then... I have no choice," He paused to choke on a soft sob, "Please take care of him. Make sure he's okay. I don't want to see him like that ever again." Ares's expression was hard throughout Akin's entire spiel, but it softened considerably at those words as he tucked the list away into his pocket.
"I'll do what I can." Ares replied monotonously. Akin nodded, reaching up to wipe at his eyes again.
"You better go," Hades said with a frown, looking at Akin, "If Lucifer finds you here, he'll throw a hissy fit and I don't need to hear him bitch again. I might actually have to shove my foot down his throat." Akin pursed his lips in a quick forced smile before he looked at Ares one last time before he closed his eyes and vanished, and the film faded until I was back in the cold sterile room with Ares and Dionysus.
I blinked as Ares stepped back and my eyes fell to a piece of paper sticking out of his jeans pocket.
Akin's list...
"Like I said," Ares said quietly, "Medications are now part of your cannot have list." I clenched my teeth in pain. Akin made that entire list for me? He was still concerned about me, even after what I did?
"You didn't go very far," Ares said suddenly, making me look up at him, "You didn't go as far as you think you did." I was confused for a split second until I realized what he was referring to and I glared at him.
"You stupid son of a--"
"But you could've," Ares cut me off, making me glare at him, breathing hard as I struggled to fight the urge to snap his neck, "You could've went beyond kissing Akin when he told you to stop. You could've done even worse than what you did to my cousin." His words made me wince and I ground my teeth together.
"So what? You're here to train me," I asked dryly, "For your information, I was fighting in wars centuries before you were even born." Ares snorted.
"Yeah, but that's just it. You were trained in the art of war," He said, making me scowl in confusion, "You weren't trained in anything else. All you know how to do is survive, how to fight, how to improvise with your surroundings and while that's all fine and dandy, it's not everything. War involves strategy, thinking, and your soul and you're not using any of those things when you fight. You've relied on the beast inside you so much and you've fed it so much that it's probably swallowing your very soul, but it's not too late to take it back, to take control of the things inside you." I glared at him.
"No one can control me," I seethed, "I already told you that." Ares frowned.
"You relied on others to control you. The beast won't submit to anyone, but you. You need to take control, not someone else. It's no one else's job to babysit you." He responded. His words frustrated me, mostly because they made sense. Now that I thought about it, I'd never bothered to try and control it.
Because you're scared of it.
Atlan had thrown that right in my face when he tricked me into killing Arikos. Atlan wanted me to be scared of it. He wanted to use that fear to control me. He wanted me to freak out on everyone and get them killed. How did he know I would? For all his vile and cruel personality, Atlan could be crafty and it infuriated me that I could've fallen so easily.
"Don't blame yourself," Ares said, making me look up at him in irritation, "We all fall victim to fear at some point in our lives." I frowned.
"Even the god of war?" I asked. Ares just stared at me blankly. Dionysus shrugged.
"I'm scared of pelicans." He offered. This time, Ares dropped his stoic act and his expression screwed up into one of comical disgust and dismay as he turned to pin Dionysus with a withering stare.
"Are you fucking drunk? Shut up," He commanded, making Dionysus pout, "We're not here to talk about you. This is about Hannibal." Dionysus rolled his eyes as Ares cleared his throat and turned back to face me with a serious stare.
"So, hybrid, are you ready to take your life back or are you gonna continue to let Atlan fuck you like a bitch in heat?" He asked. His words aggravated me, but I think that was his intention. I narrowed my eyes and just gave him a single nod. Ares appeared pleased with that as he approached me and I rose slowly onto my feet again.
"Then first let's get rid of that jacket," He said, then snapped his fingers and the jacket vanished and my arms fell at my sides, feeling numb and sore, "And get you cleaned up. You're gross. I'm sending you to your temporary room here."
"Where is here?" I asked with a scowl. Ares didn't answer, just snapped his fingers and teleported me from the large sterile room to another bedroom. This one was a little dreary for my tastes, decked out in shades of gray and black with a large canopy bed, a couple of armchairs and a dresser, and an outfit already laid out on the bed for me. I went to the door across the room that led to the large bathroom and took a shower, drying off with a plush black towel and changing into the flexible black pants and spandex high-collared sleeveless shirt.
As if he were watching the entire time, Ares appeared in the room a few feet behind me, making me whirl around to blast him, but he caught the attack and deflected it out one of the windows, causing the black curtains to billow out into a stormy scenery.
"Don't sneak up on me." I snapped, frustrated. Ares gave me a droll stare.
"I didn't. I was just popping in. For the record, think of this as being grounded. I get to come in here and beat the shit out of you whenever I want. I'm not your friend and I'm not your bro or whatever stupid term people could put to us. I'm your mentor. Now if you're done stuffing your panties up your ass about it, let's get to work." He stated. Not that he gave me much choice, because we teleported from the room to a large dark tunnel that looked like it was buried into the side of a mountain.
"Where are we?" I asked, looking at Ares, who stared down the tunnel.
"First we need to make a few pit stops. I think you need to face some of your other fears before we jump on the big baddie." He said. I scowled.
"I'm not scared of anything."
"Then you're a fool," Ares responded, starting forward down the tunnel and I moved to keep up with him, annoyed with his comment, "Everyone fears something, even Zeus."
"Yeah, losing his throne." I responded dryly. Ares's mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile, before it seemed to turn more into a grimace.
"Zeus is scared of a lot more than losing his stupid lawn chair." He answered. I looked at him curiously, but he didn't answer as we moved further down the tunnel, following a distance orange glow. Something about the place seemed strangely familiar. It smelled heavily of smoke and ash, sweat and blood. It burned my nostrils. And the closer we approached the light, the hotter it got. It felt like we were walking into the heart of a volcano until we came out of the tunnel and into a huge cave with a large platform surrounded by bubbling, hissing lava.
On the platform in the center of the cave was a man I hadn't seen in centuries, struggling with a flat, heavy black platter of some kind speckled with stars and several dozen little glowing orbs floating around on top of it.
"Atlas?" I asked, stunned. Atlas stood beneath the cosmos, sweat beading down his face, his dark hair stuck to his cheeks and forehead, his blue eyes flashing open angrily to pin me with a menacing glare. His jaw coated with several days worth of beard, and wearing only a raggedy old chiton, he looked... like shit.
"You," Atlas snarled at me, making me take an instant step back on instinct, "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Good question." I muttered, looking at Ares, who kept his eyes on Atlas calmly.
"Like I said," Ares said, "We have to face your fears one by one. Here's one of them."
"If I could laugh, I'd be doing belly rolls. I'm more scared of a wet kitten than that prick." I responded, gesturing to Atlas, who bared his yellowed fangs at me. I stepped away and Ares arched a brow at me. I glared at him.
"I'm not scared of him." I assured. Ares hummed.
"Mmm hmm. So you didn't wet your bed several times as a child because you were afraid Atlas was trying to break into your room to sneak another snake into your bed," He said, making me narrow my eyes on him, "Or what about the time he branded you with a cattle prod, huh? Oh, and you had nightmares about him for years. Along with your other brothers. And you were scared shitless when you found out Heracles had been tricked into taking Atlas's place, because Atlas was gunning for you until he was tricked into taking the cosmos back--"
"Shut up," I snapped in frustration, "I'm not scared of him."
"Oh, please," Atlas barked a bitter laugh, pinning me with a menacing glare, "You're fucking shaking! I can see it from here, you pathetic waste of space! I heard Prometheus and Epimetheus had bullied you into one of their many stupid schemes. How'd that go for you, huh, bastard whoreson?" I glared at him and took a step toward him, but he snapped his fangs and instinct had me moving back again.
Shit. It'd been years since I'd seen Atlas, centuries, maybe even more if I kept track of it all. Yet, for some reason, seeing him again made my stomach contract sharply. I could still see all the times he'd pinned me down and tortured me when we were kids.
The time he had Menoetius and the twins hold me down so he could stamp the cattle prod on my thigh, and he held it there before peeling it off and tearing away melted flesh, the bloody raw symbol had taken weeks to heal and the scar still marred my skin. My hand brushed my thigh subconsciously before I clenched my fist.
"You still keep it," Ares said, making me frown at him, "The scar from the cattle prod. Why don't you get rid of it?" I glared at him.
"Because it's... Because it's none of your business." I responded. Ares just quirked a brow at me, said nothing, looked back at Atlas, who went off on a rant about how useless and pathetic I was. I recognized all of his rants, the usuals. They used to make me cry as a child. I remembered hiding in the barn trying to get away from him so I could spend time with the calves there... and then Atlas told Iapetus and Iapetus killed the calves. It seemed whenever I made contact with someone or something that wanted to be around me, someone took it away from me...
I only kept the scar because it reminded me... not to trust family. It reminded me to be cautious. It reminded me never to let myself lay down at someone else's feet, never let someone take advantage of me. Not that that had helped considering everything that had happened since that day.
"Be honest with yourself, Hannibal. That's the first step. Why do you keep the scar? Why do you keep any of your scars?" Ares asked. I frowned at him.
"A reminder."
"Of what?"
"Of all the times I did something stupid to provoke everyone around me."
"Of all the times you tried to reach out to someone and they hurt you, and you wanted to remind yourself why you shouldn't even try anymore," Ares said, throwing the cold harsh truth in my face and making me grit my teeth in frustration, "These people made you feel like shit for so long that you started to believe you were shit. And you relied on the monster inside you to prove them wrong." Having someone spell it out in the open air made me sick to my stomach. It was strange to hear someone say that about me, much less someone I barely knew. I wondered briefly how Ares could be so spot on something that didn't even concern him... unless he related somehow. I tried to meet Ares's eyes to confirm, but he wouldn't look at me directly, just watched Atlas with a look that told me he was more than disgusted with Atlas.
"You fucking hear me," Atlas snarled when I zoned back in, "If you think you're such tough shit, then I'd like to see you hold this garbage for eternity! You know what? Fuck that! Come here and I'll kill you both while holding the cosmos! You fucking bastard whoreson hybrid piece of shit!" Atlas breathed hard, his legs shuddered and for a moment, I swore he was going to drop, but he didn't. He somehow managed to stay standing, his eyes burning with hatred... and something else.
Now that I looked closer, Atlas didn't look the same as he used to... nothing at all. His expression had always been a twisted sneer of mockery, cockiness. He always carried himself high above everyone else and he walked with a strut as he beat down anyone who tried to stand up to him, or tried to hide from him.
He was broken now. He choked on an angry sob, ducking his head down to curse and spit at the floor, tears falling to the hot ground where they sizzled and evaporated.
I frowned. This wasn't the Atlas I ran from as a child. The one who branded me and beat me and forced drugs down my throat or ratted me out to Iapetus every time I tried to make my life slightly easier.
This one was broken and tired and angry and self-loathing.
"All he can do is scream." I said.
"And cry." Ares supplied. I looked at him, then at Atlas, who choked on another bitter sob and pinned me with a glare.
"Fuck you! Fuck you so much, you bastard! Asshole! Rot in Tartarus for all I care! I hate you! Get away from me!" He screamed, then stopped to cough and scream some more unintelligible words. I said nothing to that because for once, Atlas wasn't scaring me. I wasn't itching to run away or flinching every time he raised his voice. There was no point. Atlas wasn't the bully he was before. He was just...
Cursed.
"Had your fill?" Ares asked me. I nodded and Ares returned it before looking at Atlas, giving him a two-fingered salute.
"See ya later, Atlas. Have fun wallowing in misery and woe." He said. Atlas screamed and it echoed off the cave walls as Ares snapped his fingers and we vanished from Atlas's prison and reappeared in a different realm... a different room.
We appeared in a wide black sleek hallway with black tinted windows along the side that I expected to look outside, only to find that behind each window was a small cramped cell with nothing, but a small toilet in one corner, a bowl in the wall that seemed to be a sink of some kind, and an iron cot that pulled out of the wall.
"What--"
"Tartarus," Ares responded, making me stare at him in surprise, "New and improved after the Titan war. See, Hades has a major hard-on for anything new and technological. Welcome to one of the finest prisons in existence. As secure and impenetrable as Gehenna, but sleek and cold and harsh like the Source itself. And also the current residence of your beautiful loving family." I tensed as Ares approached one of the windows and waved me over.
"I thought no one could teleport into Tartarus." I pointed out. Ares shrugged as he placed his hand on a black tile on the wall and it flickered and vanished to reveal a small keypad that he typed into.
"I was given prior access. I told Hades I wanted you to visit and he was more than willing to let us stop by... of course, he seems to think you might stay." He replied. I grimaced at that, then watched the tint in the window fade to reveal someone else who I had thought died.
"Menoetius," Ares greeted, "Your friendly neighborhood Titan of violence and anger." I said nothing as I stared at him curled up in a corner, hugging his knees to his chest. He looked so much smaller now, wearing a skintight white high-collared suit that went all the way down to his bare feet that were savagely burned and scarred so badly that I was more than positive he could no longer use them without limping. His dark hair used to be made of tight curls, now limp and hanging over his shoulders, his dark eyes staring straight ahead at the wall. Every so often, he'd twitch like something was coming at him.
"What's he doing?" I asked.
"We came at a good time," Ares said with a nod, "He just got out of therapy."
"Therapy?" I asked, confused. Ares actually smirked.
"Yeah, that's what Hades likes to call it... It's actually just flat out torture. Again, Hades has greatly improved Tartarus with the help of his son, Zelios. The torture is more than just whipping and lashing and burning and water-boarding now. Oh no, it's so much better. Now Hades drops surprise therapy on them where he makes them think they've made it out, but then he drops the illusion and reveals that they never made it out in the first place. He forces them to relive their worst nightmares and fears. He even has the Maniae drive them mad with fear... I wonder what Menoetius was scheduled for." He moved to the keypad and typed a couple things in, scanning it before looking at me when I frowned at him.
"Hades recently made him relive the moment he was pinned down during the war against the Olympians." He responded. I looked at him, baffled. Menoetius? Pinned down? There was no way that was possible.
"No," I said, making Ares raise an eyebrow, "Menoetius was killed by Zeus, with a thunderbolt. I know he was."
"Yeah," Ares agreed, "Menoetius is dead. This is his soul. He has no physical form. That's what his white uniform is for. White is for the dead, orange is for the living. But Menoetius wasn't just struck by a thunderbolt and killed. At least, not right away." I glared at him impatiently.
"Are you just going to keep dropping cryptic hints until I guess right?" I asked. Ares shook his head.
"Nah. This one I'll give to you right up front; Zeus raped him and castrated him before killing him with the lightening bolt." He replied. I stiffened and resisted the urge to hiss past my clenched teeth. Zeus really did not like being challenged. Although, with Menoetius's attitude, I wasn't surprised. Menoetius had always been like Atlas-- a pompous self-centered asshole.
"Just because he was a Titan?" I asked. Ares shrugged.
"Well, Menoetius was a tough opponent. Once he started killing, he wanted to do more. You know that as well as I do. Hell, he's about as bad as both of us put together... But there was more to it than that. Apparently, Menoetius was furious that Zeus had taken something that belonged to him." He explained. I scowled, confused by that until Menoetius moved in the cell and I turned to see him slowly getting to his feet, his eyes locked on me.
I froze at the dark eyes that were ringed with circles from lack of sleep and care. He used the wall to slowly pull himself up and he approached the window. I expected him to react the same way Atlas did, if not worse, but much to my surprise, he reached up to the window and pressed his hand to the glass.
"Hannibal?" He whispered. His voice sounded hoarse, distorted through the speakers above the window. But there was something else... His voice sounded strange, haunted. Nothing like the screaming raving lunatic I'd grown up with.
Menoetius's bottom lip trembled and my eyes widened as Menoetius burst into tears and slid down the window, sinking to the floor.
"No! Stop! You bastards! You fucking bastards!" He started screaming and bashing his fist against the window. I instantly stepped back, watching Menoetius slam his fist into the window, choking on heart-wrenching sobs. He didn't sound angry so much as...
"Broken," Ares stated, "Hades broke him a long time ago, but this is the first time he's seen you since he was broken." I looked at him, confused.
"What're you talking about?" Ares shrugged, but didn't answer. I glared at him in irritation, then looked back down at Menoetius, who pressed his forehead against the window, his fists clenched on the floor as he sank on his knees.
"Please don't use him, I didn't do anything," He sobbed pitifully, "I've done what you wanted, you stupid bastards! I'm done! Just fucking wipe me from existence already!" His words confused me, and I started to lean in closer to see if maybe I'd misheard, but Menoetius suddenly looked up at me and I froze, face a couple inches from the glass.
Menoetius swallowed, tears streaking down his pale cheeks. He'd completely lost his color, the rich olive skin tone, warm and darkened from hours in the sun. Now his skin held a pasty white cast to it.
And unlike Arikos, who could pass through solid objects, Menoetius's hand went flat against the window as if he were trying his hardest to reach through it to grab me. It honestly freaked me out and I wanted to pull away, but something odd went through me when he stared at me like that. I couldn't decipher it, not really... And yet, it was so familiar...
Suddenly I was snatched from this time and dropped in the past, except this time I was watching from a third person point of view. It was one of the times they'd chained me to a post just outside of camp to keep me out of the way while they celebrated victory. Menoetius snapped the shackle around my throat, and my head lolled back against the post. I was so fucking high and it was so obvious. My eyelids heavy and eyes just staring straight ahead, lips parted slightly.
"Goddamn it, listen to me, you....!" Menoetius's voice trailed as he grabbed my jaw and forced me to look at him. He squeezed my jaw tight, and I swore I could feel the phantom pain of that.
I couldn't remember anything after I'd gotten high, I noted. Sometimes, I woke up in puddles of my own piss or half-clothed and beaten, either way I had no memory of what happened whenever I was high. Usually I just filled in the blanks-- they beat me, they tortured me, they humiliated me, I slept. That was it.
But this... This I couldn't remember.
"Damn it," Menoetius seethed, studying my face intensely as I stared back at him, cheeks squished by Menoetius's grasp, "I fucking... hate you... You did this." Did what? Confused, I started to speak out loud to Ares, who was probably listening in, then froze as Menoetius slid his hand from my jaw to my hair, fisting it tightly before he buried his mouth against mine. My skin instantly crawled and I took a step back.
What the fuck!
I blinked rapidly, trying to snatch myself out of this weird nightmare, but I couldn't do it. All I could do was watch Menoetius kiss me desperately, tongue and everything, before he snatched his mouth back. My head lolled back, a low moan spilling past my lips. I was too high to even notice or care what he'd done to me and Menoetius actually teared up, making my eyes widen in surprise.
"I'm sorry," Menoetius seethed, pressing his face against my cheek, his fist still tight in my hair, "Why can't you just fucking listen to him, Hannibal? For once in your stupid life, why couldn't you listen to him? When he says fall back, fall back, you fucking idiot... You could've gotten yourself killed." Past me just moaned and slumped forward against him, head on his shoulder. I expected Menoetius to violently shove me away, but instead, he clutched me to him tightly, breathing hard and squeezing his eyes shut.
"Just... hold on, Hannibal. It'll be over soon." Menoetius squeezed me hard, then pushed me back to grab my face in his hands.
"Say my name... Just once." He urged, brushing his thumb over my bottom lip. Past me just moaned and parted my lips.
"Men...o..." I finish his name as it slurred into an incoherent mumble and the sound of Atlas calling Menoetius's name made the color drain from his face. He cursed and threw my head back into the post so hard it cracked and I fell to the ground. For a moment, I thought I was unconscious, but I was somehow still awake, though Menoetius didn't seem to notice as he whirled around to face Atlas, who came tromping through the woods and approached him, his burgundy and black and gold armor gleaming in the sunlight.
"What the fuck are you doing? Taking your sweet ass time?" Atlas sneered, then paused to look behind Menoetius at me laying in a heap and he smirked. Menoetius glared at him.
"Fuck you, asshole. I was doing what father told me to do." He responded menacingly. That was the Menoetius I remembered. Harsh, cruel, eternally angry. Atlas rolled his eyes and came over to kick me onto my back, but my conscious was steadily fading and the image in front of me darkening around the edges. The last thing I saw was Atlas kick me in the stomach and Menoetius clench his teeth and look away.
I blinked and I was back in Tartarus outside of Menoetius's cell, staring in at him to see him looking at me with tears streaking his face, his hand still against the window. I stumbled back from that and slammed into the wall across from his cell, looking at Ares, who hummed.
"More family drama." He said, but he made no comment about what he saw. Disgust poured through my veins and vomit rose in my throat at the thought of Menoetius touching me and his mouth...! I covered my mouth, shaking my head quickly.
No. No fucking way. Menoetius hated me. He's always hated me and he took every chance he could to remind me of that. Always, always.
And yet, I opened my eyes and Menoetius was sobbing again, leaning against the window, his hand sliding down the glass.
"Hades, please, stop! Make it stop! I rather you rip my fingernails off again! Please!" He wailed, then sank to the floor and covered his face with his hands and wept. I shuddered and shut my eyes. Jesus Christ, no wonder why that look in his eyes was so familiar... it reminded me of the way Akin looked at me and that only terrified me further.
"I want to leave." I said, looking at Ares, but he shook his head.
"You haven't stopped being afraid of him. You're still terrified of him."
"Yeah, because he's a fucking freak!" I snarled, glancing at Menoetius in disgust. It wasn't the incest part that bothered me, surprisingly. In a world where "incest" was more of a mortal word? Gods didn't play by the same rules as mortals. It was the fact that this bastard tortured me and beat me for centuries and he still claimed to give a damn about me?
No, I wasn't scared of Menoetius; I was infuriated! You don't fucking do any of what he did to someone you say you care about! Menoetius only ever sought to destroy me and torment me!
"You're lying," I said instantly, glaring at Menoetius and making him blink and look up as if bewildered to hear the sound of my voice, and I shoved myself to my feet, approaching the window angrily, "You fucking liar! You hated me the moment you met me because Iapetus told you I was a hybrid whoreson! You never once called me by my chosen name! Christ, you tried to kill me!"
"Because I hate you," Menoetius shouted, shooting to his feet and slamming his fist into the window, his breath trembling as he gathered up the strength to shout more, "How dare you fucking come into my life and make me love you! Damn you for it! Damn everything about you!"
"You never loved anyone, but yourself!"
"That's not true," Menoetius snarled, then gasped hard as he bent over to glare at the floor, "I wanted to hold you the moment you showed up on our doorstep, but when I asked Iapetus, he backhanded me for the first time in my life and told me if I ever, ever even so much as looked at you, he'd give me a Fate worse than death!"
"Then you didn't love me, asshole!"
"I did," Menoetius insisted, his voice rising in pitch, "Iapetus told me he was going to send you to Zeus at the end of the Titan Wars and I had it! Zeus was already considering the offer and I attacked him and-and then he-he-- and then I died and the moment I was dead, Iapetus threw you at Zeus and I couldn't do shit about it because Thanatos had already dragged me to Tartarus and locked me in here!"
"That's such bullshit," I sneered, shoving myself away from the window, "You never once gave a shit about me. You constantly shoved me and beat me around every chance you got. If you really gave a shit about me, you never would've bent to Iapetus--"
"You wouldn't understand," Menoetius cried angrily, "You had no idea what it was like to have a father you worshipped! I loved Iapetus! He was my father, my idol! I would've died for him... But instead, I died for you! I risked my fucking life, my honor and my dignity, because I didn't want to see you imprisoned by another egotistical maniac!" I shook my head and turned away, making Menoetius scream in frustration.
"He's lying to me," I told Ares, making him quirk a brow skeptically, "You have no idea what he put me through growing up. I don't believe any of this!" Just thinking about it was making my blood boil, my skin crawl. A sudden wave of disgust so profound that I swore I'd only ever felt it during my time in Styx, during my stay in Atlantis. I felt oddly violated, and betrayed all over again.
There was no way Menoetius gave a shit about me. He never has and he never will.
"Do you at least want to know what broke him?" Ares offered. I pinned him with a withering glare.
"What?" I asked, even though I wasn't particularly interested. I just figured playing with Ares's stupid game would make him take us away from here.
"Hades showed him what happened to you in Styx," Ares responded, making me go absolutely still, "He found the security tapes in a warehouse that was owned by the club's manager, Steele. Hades popped them in and played them over and over and over again until Menoetius clawed his own eyes out. But because he's dead, they came back and he was forced to watch all over again." I felt the blood drain from my face as horror bled through me.
Hades showed Menoetius?
"No," Menoetius moaned and I snapped my head back to stare at him as he sank to the floor, sobbing all over again, "I died because I thought it meant that kind of thing would never happen to you, but it happened anyway! All of it was for nothing!" I looked back at Ares, who stared at me intently.
"Are you still scared of him?" He asked.
How the hell was I supposed to answer that? Scared? Maybe. Disgusted? Incredibly. Furious? Beyond measure. The emotions whipped through me in a frenzy and my vision flashed from normal to red a second before Ares grabbed me by the throat, making me gasp as he threw me against the wall across from Menoetius's cell and Menoetius screamed, leaping to his feet and bashing his fist against the window.
"Stop! Get your fucking hands off him, you overgrown mammoth bastard! Stop touching him!" He shouted. Ares ignored him and squeezed my throat, making me gasp. I watched his eyes flash from blue to red and I froze as I picked up on that rancid stench... blood lust. It bled through his every pore and suffocated me. It actually made the monster inside me hesitate, both confused and unsure. Even though the monster inside me was ancient and brutal, something about Ares's seemed... more powerful.
"Stop," Ares commanded, and his eyes slowly faded to blue again and his grip on me loosened, "You are not the monster, Hannibal. I brought you here to face your fears. You're still scared of Menoetius. Just because he didn't show his love the same way Akin did doesn't make it any less important. Menoetius fought Hades every step of the way, until the night he showed Menoetius those videos. Menoetius went from the most deadly inmate in Tartarus to the most broken in one hour. Because he watched the person he gave his life for be brutally tortured."
"That doesn't justify what he did to me." I seethed. Ares nodded in agreement as he stepped back.
"It does not. However, you're still scared of Menoetius."
"I assure you I am not."
"Oh no," Ares challenged, "Because it sounds to me like you're reacting the same way you did when Akin proposed to you." I tensed.
"Excuse me?" I demanded. How did he know about that?
"Most people are esctatic when they're about to get married, but not you," Ares continued, making me narrow my eyes, "Oh no, not Hannibal. According to everyone I spoke to, you were terrified the moment he proposed because not only did it meant that Akin loved you, but that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Akin loves you and he has done everything and will continue to do so. And you know how else this scene triggers my feeling of deja vu? Because the moment you found out Lea loved you, you backed away too. I think I found something you're as terrified of as that monster that's clawing to escape you."
I hesitated. I already knew I was hesitant about accepting love, but Menoetius's? I didn't want any part of it. He could take that love and shove it.
"He tried to kill me." I seethed. Ares stared at me.
"Akin called you a monster and kicked you out of his home... and you forgave him. Raven threw your mistakes in your face and turned away from you... and you forgave him. Lea, though it wasn't her fault, disappeared for several thousand millennia and has come back to win you as her son again... and you're forgiving her. So why not the god who gave his life for you? The more you hold onto it, the more you feed that monster inside you." He warned. I glared at him.
"Would you forgive your brother for beating you and torturing you and burning you with a cattle prod?" I demanded. Ares's eyes glowed at that.
"No, but mine forgave me after I stole his wife and sired several perfect god children with her." He replied. I seethed.
"Take me back to that room."
"You won't complete your training with me until you overcome your fear of Menoetius."
"Then you're going to be waiting for a long time, asshole."