Noong pumasok kami sa loob ng mansyon ay sobrang tahimik na. Natanaw ko rin na nakapatay na ang ilaw sa kwarto ni Candice. Tulog na sila.
Dumiretso si Kyner sa loob ng aking banyo. Pagkababa niya sa akin, hinila ko agad ang batok niya para mahalikan siya. Sinandal niya ako tiled wall habang binubuksan iyong shower. Nabasa siya at tumalsik sa akin ang ibang tubig. The cold water was nothing against the growing heat between us.
Humiwalay ako sa kanya at tumapat sa shower. Hinubad ko lahat ng suot kong saplot. I'm still sore from last night but damn it! I want him so bad!
Kyner was leaning against the tiled wall, his eyes drinking my body in. I was aware that my tits were erect and that my breasts were aching to be caressed and kneaded. And the throbbing between my legs that swollen right now.
"You are beautiful," Kyner said softly, straightening up and tugging his T-shirt over his head.
Mahina akong napasinghap. Just the sight of his chest was enough to send me into a heat of unadulterated desire.
Kyner stood before me and cupped my boobs in his hands. His thumbs swept across the tips of my boobs. He lowered his head and captured an aching tits with his mouth. He sucked on it.
Napadaing ako at napahawak sa kanyang balikat. His hands sweeping down my sides and touch my pulsing flesh.
I moaned. I spread my legs slightly. His fingers touched my entrance and nudged against my sensitive buds.
"Kyner..."
"Hmm," he thrust a finger deep inside me.
I threw my head back and cried out. Bumaon ang kuko ko sa kanyang balikat. I rocked against his hand as he slid another finger deep inside me, finger-fucking me while sucking my tits, until I couldn't see straight.
Kyner pulled out and sank to his knees before me. The sight of him, kneeling in front of me was such a turn on. Stopping me from protesting.
He grabbed my thighs, angled his head and replaced his fingers with his tongue. He licked my sensitive buds. Napasabunot na lang ako sa kanyang buhok noong hindi ko malaman kung saan hahawak dahil sa pag-atake niya.
"Ahh!"
Kyner held me steady, his tongue flickering in and out of me, igniting a flame inside of me.
My orgasm was surging forward, building up inside me and threatening to turn me into jelly. One hard sucked, and I cried out his name. My knees practically giving way.
Kyner stood up while I'm still catching my breath. Sinandal niya ako sa tiled wall at malalim na hinalikan. I caressed his whole upper body. He growled softly.
Mapupungay ang mga mata kong pinanood siyang magtanggal nang shorts na suot. Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi noong makita ang kabuuan niya. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa laki niya.
Kyner wrapped my legs around his waist and his huge hard shaft was midway inside me. One arm was below my butt and the other was around my lower back, completely supporting me.
He thrust into me to the root. I felt heat engulfed my body as he filled me up completely. Ilang segundo siyang hindi gumalaw. May sakit pa rin pero kaya ko naman na ito. And I was to turn on to even feel it.
Kyner pressed my back against the tiled wall as he gently begun thrusting. I cried out and clenched around him.
"Ahh! Kyner!"
He groaned against my neck and as he thrust in and out. His thrust sped up a little, the plunge of his shaft going even deeper. He kissed my lips as he begun thrusting into me hard and faster. I cried out and clawed my nails down his back, hearing him groan throatily.
My body started convulsing in his arms, and not so long after, he held onto me tightly when he finally exploded, his body tensing before he spilled his hot seed inside me.
Bumagsak ang ulo ko sa kanyang balikat. Nanatili sa loob ko si Kyner. Parehas mabibigat pa ang aming paghinga.
Noong makabawi, I was spent I couldn't stand up straight. Kyner had to hold me and help me wash myself off.
Tahimik lang ako habang naliligo. Panghihina at antok ang nararamdaman. Noong matapos ay kinuha niya iyong tuwalya at binalot ito sa katawan ko. Binuhat niya ako at naglakad na siya palabas ng banyo.
Noong matapos kami sa pagbibihis, sabay na kaming humiga. My head was resting over his heart. Feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest, hearing the steady beat of his heart. His body heat is the warmth I've been craving for so long. He really feels like home. Siya na nga siguro ang hinahanap ko.
"Snorri, you need to return Kyner right now! Nasa ospital ang ina niya ngayon. May sakit pala ito sa puso! Hinimatay raw dahil sa sobrang pag-aalala kay Kyner!" natatarantang sinabi ni Candice.
Paglabas ko ng kwarto ay iyon ang binungad niya sa akin. Kyner was still asleep. Mas nauna lang ako nagising sa kanya dahil mas nauna akong natulog. We made love again last night until we were spent.
"Tama na ito, Snorri! May buhay ng nakataya rito sa kalokohan mo! I will not tolerate this any longer! I'm not invalidating your pain but this is too much!"
Matinding kaba ang bumalot sa akin. I know I should be happy because she was worrying! She was in pain! She'd suffered! Just like me when he took my father away! But I can't. I'm not happy with her suffering anymore.
"And they are searching for Kyner! Nalaman na ata ni Corvan iyong nangyaring aksidente kay Kyner! Hindi na rin magtatagal at matutunton na siya rito!"
I was really planning to return him the next day. Not this day because I still want to spend some time with him. But I guess, this is the end.
"Uuwi na tayo ngayon," I said.
Candice sighed heavily and hugged me. "We always end up on the decision that based on our feelings. Kaya may mga bagay tayong pagsisisihan sa bandang huli. Mga panghihinayang kaya hahangarin natin na makabalik tayo sa nakaraan upang maitama ang ating pagkakamali."
"I'm not regretting my decision, Candice," I said quietly.
I'm only regretting the decision to get my revenge. Pero hindi iyong inalagaan ko si Kyner. Hindi iyong binigay ko ang sarili ko sa kanya. Hindi iyong pinili kong manatili rito kasama siya.
But I realized, she's right. We shouldn't make permanent decisions based on our temporary feelings. Especially when we are angry.
Humiwalay sa akin si Candice. "But you're hurting. I know you. I can see it in your eyes."
"I'm fine," this is my karma.
Bumalik na ako sa aking kwarto habang nakasunod sa akin si Candice. Naabutan namin si Kyner na palabas na rin ng kwarto. Magulo ang buhok.
"We are going home. Pack your things," I said to him.
Wala siyang ibang sinabi kung hindi tumango lang. Lumapit siya sa akin at hinalikan ako sa labi tapos tumango kay Candice, at naglakad patungo sa kanyang kwarto.
"Kausapin mo siya. Ako na mag-aayos ng mga gamit mo," sabi ni Candice. Tumango ako at sinundan na rin si Kyner.
Huminto ako sa tabi ng pinto dahil nakabukas ito. Pinanood ko siya habang nilalagay niya ang mga gamit sa isang malaking bag, ready to leave. Without even asking why we are leaving right now.
Then, I realized that he was always believing whatever I will say without even asking. Parang tinatanggap na lang niya lahat ng mga sinasabi ko. Hinahayaan niya na lang kasi siguro, iniisip niya na babalik din naman sa kanya ang alaala niya. So, he simply accepted whatever truth is presented to him.
Nagawi ang tingin sa akin ni Kyner kaya napahinto siya sa ginagawa. Lumapit siya sa akin.
"Saan tayo titira pagbalik natin ng Makati? We will still live together, right?" he asked.
Grief suddenly overwhelmed me so I wrapped my arms around his waist. All I could do was hugged him while I weep. I felt his confusion for a bit before he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. Giving me a little bit of peace. He feels like home.
"What's wrong?" his hugged tightened.
"There is someone I want you to meet when we come home," I said heavily. "You'll stay with her."
"Kaibigan ko ba? O kamag-anak?" he asked calmly.
Humiwalay ako sa kanya. Pero nanatili ang yakap niya sa akin. Tiningala ko siya at nakitang malambot ang mga titig niya sa akin.
If I could go back to the past, I might have done things better. I would search for him while I was still young, when I still didn't know that his mother was the mistress of my father and meet him first. I would rewrite our chapters.
"Pamilya mo siya," I smiled ruefully. "Kapag umuwi na tayo, baka maging abala na ulit ako sa trabaho."
"Basta sa akin ka uuwi, ayos lang sa akin," he said.
My lips trembled. Pero sana, kahit sa kaunting oras na pinagsamahan namin, naramdaman niya ako. Tanging mga lumalabas lang sa aking bibig ang puro kasinungalingan. Lahat ng ginawa ko para sa kanya at mga pinaramdam ko ay totoo.
"Mag-iingat kayo ha? Bisita ulit kayo rito, Snorri," Ate Glenda looked at me.
I nodded my head and hugged her briefly. "Thank you for all the hardwork, Ate. I'll come back here. I promise."
Nagpaalam na kami sa kanya at nagtungo na sa sasakyan. Kyner will drive. Ituturo na lang ni Candice ang daan. Sinabi ko na rin na sa ospital kami didiretso. Iiwan ko na lang si Kyner roon kasama ang ina niya.
I was silent the whole ride. That's why Kyner kept glancing at me. Noong hindi na nakatiis sa katahimikan ko, kinuha niya iyong kamay ko at hinalikan ang likod noon. That got my full attention.
"What are you thinking?" he asked softly.
"Just my work," I said and looked away before I saw him nodding his head.
I let him hold my hand while he was driving. Nararamdaman ko ang pagtitig ni Candice sa amin pero hinayaan ko na lang. Just this day. This is the last anyway.
When we reach the Metro, I saw in the side mirror that a black honda was tailing behind us. I know that's my bodyguard. Maybe Candice already informed them that I'm coming back.
"That's my bodyguards car. The honda," I informed Kyner when I saw him keep glancing at them too.
Noong malapit na kami sa ospital kung saan naka-admit ang kanyang ina, sobra-sobra ang tahip ng dibdib ko. I wonder who's with her. Maybe Imogen? Sakto rin kung ganoon. Sasabihin ko rin kay Kyner kung sino siya sa buhay niya.
"Do you want me to come with you, Snorri?" Candice asked when Kyner was parking the car. "I'll come with you."
Pinagbigyan ko na lang siya sa gusto niya. Lumabas na kaming tatlo sa sasakyan. Mas lalong kumalabog ang puso ko na parang lalabas na ito sa dibdib ko. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa kaba, takot o sakit. O lahat na. Nanlalamig din ang mga kamay ko.
"Kyner, I lied to you," I said while we were walking to his mother's room.
Napatingin sa akin si Kyner. Hawak niya ulit ang kamay ko. Hinayaan ko na lang siya. Lahat ng gagawin ko niya ngayon, habang hindi niya pa nalalaman ang totoo, hahayaan ko na muna.
"Tungkol saan?" mariin ang pagkakatanong niya.
"About your parents," I said.
I glanced at him. Relief was etched on his face. Parang nakahinga ng maluwag na tungkol lang sa magulang niya ako nagsinungaling. Nakaramdam ako ng kirot sa aking puso.
"They are still alive," I continued.
He didn't talk for a few seconds. He was just staring at me. "That's good, then."
My heart ache more. Hindi man lang niya ba tatanungin kung bakit ako nagsinungaling sa kanya? Lahat na lang ba ng sasabihin ko, tatanggapin na lang niya?
"Delikado ang naging sitwasyon ko. Kaya naiintindihan ko kung bakit ka nagsinungaling tungkol sa kanila," he said when he noticed my confusion about his reaction.
Napasinghap ako at binitawan ang kamay niya. Bigla siyang humarang sa harapan ko kaya napahinto ako sa paglalakad.
"Snorri, hindi ako galit dahil nagsinungaling ka sa akin. Naiintindihan ko. Pangako, naiintindihan ko!" he was a bit panicking!
What the fuck.
Nangilid ang luha sa mga mata ko. Tumango na lang ako at nagpatuloy na lang sa paglalakad. Agad siyang sumunod sa akin at hinawakan ulit ang kamay ko.
When we arrived in front of his mother's room, I halted. Kyner stared at me. I took a deep breath and let go of his hand. I smiled.
Before I could open the door, it opened and Imogen came out, a bit smiling. Her smile immediately faded when she saw Kyner. Her eyes widened in shock.
"Oh my god, Kyner!" she hugged Kyner while she cried.
I was about to look away when Kyner softly pushed her away. Nanlalaki ang mga mata ni Imogen sa gulat dahil sa nangyari. Kyner pressed his body to mine and took my hand.
"I'm sorry, Snorri. Hindi agad ako nakaiwas," he said.
Imogen and I both stiffened. Nangatog ang buong katawan ko kaya malalim akong bumuntong hininga.
"Kyner? Bakit ka nagso-sorry sa kanya? Bakit hawak mo ang kamay niya?" Imogen asked, a bit confused and angry.
"She is my fiancé, Imogen," Kyner said.
Her jaw dropped. My jaw too because he called her by her name already. She immediately knew who she is.
"A what?" Imogen looked at me.
"Kyner? Ikaw ba iyan anak?"
Napatingin kaming lahat sa kanyang ina na nakatayo sa likuran ni Imogen. I froze. She was looking at Kyner with wide eyes. Then it got teary.
"Anak, saan ka ba nagpunta? Bakit hindi ka man lang nagsabi sa akin? Alalang-alala ako!"
I felt Kyner stiffened beside me. Humigpit ang hawak niya sa aking kamay kaya napaangat ako ng tingin sa kanya. His eyes were shut tightly. He was in pain. He's remembering something again.
"He had an accident causing him to have an amnesia. Natagpuan namin siyang duguan sa gitna ng kalsada sa Batangas. Almost dead. We took him to the hospital. And when I found out that he doesn't remember his past, I took that opportunity to hide him and get my revenge," I said.
Doon lang napatingin sa akin ang kanyang ina. Nagulat siya noong makita ako. Shock and recognition was etched on her beautiful face. Of course she knows me.
"Revenge?!" Imogen exclaimed.
"I hate you," diretsahan kong sinabi sa kanyang ina. "Kaya naghiganti ako sa pamamagitan ni Kyner. I hid him to make you worried. Tinago ko siya. Nagsinungaling ako tungkol sa buhay niya. I told him so many lies about his life."
Lumambot ang mukha ng kanyang ina habang nakatingin sa akin. Nagtagis ang bagang ko.
"Anong ginawa sa iyo ni Tita para gawin ito sa kanya?!" Imogen said again.
"Snorri..." Kyner tried to take my hand again. Lumayo na ako sa kanya.
"Why did you lie to him, Snorri? Is it because he was in pain when you were telling him the truth about his past?" tanong ng kanyang ina na ikinagulat ko.
Natahimik ako ng ilang segundo dahil doon. Bakit alam niya ang ganoong pangyayari?
"No. Because I want him to permanently forget about you. Na kapag nakita ka niya, at sabihin mong anak mo siya, hindi siya maniniwala sa iyo. Masasaktan ka. I did all of that to get my revenge! I waited for years to get even with you! And then, it came true! You almost had a heart attack because of worry."
"How dare you!"
Pumagitna sa amin si Kyner noong balak akong lapitan ni Imogen, umigting ang kanyang panga at matalim ang tingin sa kanya. May dumaan na sakit sa mga mata ni Imogen.
"Pwede ko bang malaman kung bakit ka galit na galit sa akin?" malumanay na tanong ng kanyang ina.
My eyes narrowed. "You're a home wrecker. You know that my Daddy is married, pero pumatol ka pa rin sa kanya! My mother was miserable because of you! Hindi na niya ako nabigyan ng atensyon dahil nalugmok na siya sa kalungkutan noong malaman niyang kabit ka niya! I was alone! They didn't give me any attention because they were so busy about you!"
Her lips parted. She stared at me for a few seconds. Before she nodded her head, like she realized something.
"I'm not a mistress of your father, Snorri."
Tumalim ang tingin ko sa kanya. I was about to say something but I sighed defeatedly. I'm done with my parents. Even if she was my father's mistress or not, it doesn't matter to me anymore.
"But yes. I was in love with your father. I still am," she said sadly. "Pero hindi iyon sapat na dahilan para manira ako ng pamilya. Oo ilang beses siyang nagmaakawa sa akin na bumalik sa kanya. Iiwan niya raw si Destiny at papakasalan niya ako. I turned him down several times, even though if pains me to see him hurting because of me."
She smiled at me but there's a pain in her eyes.
"Because it's the right thing to do. Ayokong masira ang pamilya ninyo dahil sa akin. Ayokong mawalan ka ng ama dahil mahirap kapag broken family. Alam ko dahil naraanasan iyon ni Kyner. Kahit sabihin niyang sapat na ako sa kanya, na sapat na kahit kaming dalawa lang, alam ko na naghahangad pa rin siya ng buong pamilya."
Napansin ko ang paninigas ni Kyner habang nakatingin na sa kanyang ina.
"Hindi na masisira ang pamilya mo dahil hindi na siya babalik pa sa akin. You see, I told him that I am marrying Kyner's father. I told him I want to give Kyner a complete family. But it was all a lie. Para tigilan na niya ako dahil ilang taon na rin ang pangungulit niya sa akin. Pero may kasalanan din ako kung bakit nagtagal dahil naaawa ako minsan sa kanya. Hindi ko pa kaya noon ang saktan siya ng sunod-sunod. I was at fault too. I'm sorry."
Ilang minuto kaming natahimik. Prinoproseso pa ng utak ko ang lahat ng kanyang sinabi. At na-realize na lahat pala ng ginawa ko, walang kwenta. She's not a mistress of my father.
Nanatili ang mga mata ko kay Trinity Pastrana, ganoon din siya sa akin. She was really beautiful. Kahit may edad na siya.
"I am deeply sorry for not telling you the truth," I said. "I am sorry for worrying you. Hindi ko ginusto na may mangyari sa iyong masama."
"It's okay. I'm glad that when my son was in a critical condition, you were by his side. You found him when he needs help. Thank you for taking care of him, Snorri," she smiled at me. "And I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me."
My lips trembled. Nakaramdam ako ng kaunting galit dahil sa pinapakita niyang kabaitan sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung totoong mabait ba talaga siya, o pakitang tao lang dahil anak ako ng taong mahal niya.
But I know the truth. She's kind. She's a good person. And I'm a huge fucking idiot for not deciding to know their side. Lagi ako umaakto dahil lang sa galit ko. Lagi akong nabubulag ng galit.
"I'm now returning your son to you," I faced Kyner who was looking at me. "Kyner, I lied to you. She is your mother. Imogen is the girl you truly love. You aren't engaged to me. We are not in a relationship. You didn't love me. You heard my explanation. I just used you to get my revenge. I'm sorry for deceiving you."
"Snorri, ano bang sinasabi mo?" Kyner said weakly. "I'm in love with you."
Matinding sakit ang umatake sa aking puso. "You didn't. You were just obliged because I lied to you. You thought I was your fiancé so you need to love me. You do not love me, Kyner."
Sinubukan niya ulit lumapit sa akin pero umatras ako. I saw the panic in his eyes. Napalunok ako kahit napakahirap no'n gawin ngayon.
"I'm sorry for everything," sabi ko at naglakad na paalis doon.
Mabibilis ang lakad ko palabas ng ospital para magtungo sa parking lot. Sinabayan naman ako ni Candice.
"Snorri! Snorri, mag-usap tayo!"
Halos tumakbo na ako palabas noong marinig ang boses ni Kyner. Tumakbo na nga ako para lang makapunta na sa sasakyan.
"Mag-drive ka kaagad paalis!" sabi ko kay Candice.
I cursed when Kyner pulled my hand, at hinarap ako sa kanya. May sinabi si Candice na hindi ko naintindihan bago siya lumayo sa amin.
"Mag-usap tayo," Kyner said pleadingly.
"I already told you everything, didn't I? Kaya wala na tayo dapat pa pag-usapan. You are not my fiancé. We are not in a relationship."
"Snorri, I'm in love with you."
"That's not true. When your memories came back, baka isumpa mo ako dahil sa galit mo," I chuckled humorlessly. "Let me go. Si Imogen ang mahal mo. Nililigawan mo siya bago ka pa maaksidente. Magkababata kayo. While me? Bilang lang sa daliri ang naging interaksiyon natin. You dislike me. You were rude to me. Kaya siya lang din lagi ang nakikita mo sa alaala mo."
Binawi ko ang kamay ko pero hindi niya ako pinakawalan.
"This is all wrong, Kyner. Our relationship was wrong. It's made of lies. We shouldn't be together."
"If being right means being without you, then, I'd rather live a wrong doing life!" the desperation in his voice got me gaped a bit.
Natigilan ako pero nataranta noong lumapit siya sa akin. Nagpumiglas ako.
"I'm in a relationship with Dwayne! Kasabwat ko siya sa panloloko ko sa iyo! That's why he was so jealous of you!"
"That's bullshit!" his voice thundered. "Bakit mo ibibigay sa akin ang sarili mo kung may relasyon kayo?"
Shit!
"Sinong boyfriend ang papayag ng ganoon para lang maghiganti?! Kung ako ang boyfriend mo, at gagawin mo iyon sa ibang lalaki, hinding-hindi ako papayag! Hinding-hindi, Snorri! I'm gonna fucking kill that guy! So you can have your revenge!"
My heartbeats quickened. I tried to calm down so he won't notice that I'm panicking. Think, Snorri! Think!
"Hindi siya payag! Pero wala akong pakialam! Gagawin ko ang lahat para lang maisagawa ang plano ko! Including giving my fucking virginity to a guy I didn't like!"
His face contorted in pain. "Hindi ako naniniwala sa iyo," umiling-iling siya.
"I don't care if you believe me or not. But it's the truth. I hate you, Kyner," my voice trembled.
Yes, I wanted to correct my mistakes. But I also want to save myself from more destruction.
Kung pagbibigyan ko pa ang sarili ko na makapiling siya ngayon, mas lalo lang akong madudurog kapag bumalik na ang alaala niya at magpasya siyang iwan ako. Kaya habang maaga pa, mas mabuti ng pakawalan na siya.
At nagsimula rin kami sa mali. Kaya kailangan ko ito i-tama ngayon.
Nabawi ko ang kamay ko dahil sa panghihina niya. I used that opportunity to walked away. Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko dahil sa sakit na naramdaman ko.
My tears poured. I sobbed.
Saksi ang mundo sa bawat bigat ng hakbang at sakit ng nararamdaman ko papalayo sa kanya.