my boyfriend mattheo, got a new console that he plays on all the time with the boys, it may sound selfish.. but he gives me no attention anymore, he doesn't even cuddle me to sleep. he just shouts random swear words at his screen all night. i'm starting to think he doesn't really care about me..
he had his headset on and he's swinging in his chair. i lay on our bed waiting for him to quieten down so i can sleep. but it takes him a while.
"mattheo?"
no response
just a "FUCK SAKE" at his screen.
i really shouldn't be this sensitive, but my eyes start to water. maybe he just doesn't like me, he's probably just using me. whenever he wants me sort of thing.. it makes me feel so unwanted. i cover myself with the blanket and start to cry.
i hear a squeak of his chair and silence.
"right boys, my girl needs me."
he takes off his headset and slumps himself next to me on our bed. i hold tighter onto the blanket i cover my face with. yet he still manages to lift it off me.
"what's wrong princess?" he says sweetly
"nothing" i answer
"cmon there's something wrong. you can always tell me y/n"
"can i? because you're always too busy for me lately" i cry
"oh.. i'm sorry y/n i got carried away." he says with guilt
he strokes my hair and stares into my eyes.
"i just i- feel like you don't want me anymore" i sob, he pulls me closer and throws his arms around me.
"i'm sorry y/n, i'll pay more attention to you. i got carried away and i didn't know you felt this way. i love you.."
i sniff. he's sorry, i guess everyone gets carried away sometimes.
"it's okay mattheo. i love you too"
he kisses my forehead and holds me until i sleep.