I've seen miserable Sophie when she learned that her college boyfriend cheated on her, or dejected Sandy, my college bestie, when she found out her crush only led her on, but the hurt flashes in Diandra's eyes right now is more painful to see. She's not my sister or my best friend whom I should care less about, yet I feel this way. Maybe it's because I'm the reason she's on the brim of breaking down right now.
"Mr. Knight, Ms. Garnett, there you are!" says a voice from down the hall. Chloe's party's event organizer is walking up to me and Ashton, who is already standing behind me. "It's almost blowing-candle time. We'd better go back to the table."
But none of us moves or speaks. We stay rooted to our spots, trying to get our minds back in the gear.
"We'll be there in a minute," Ashton finally says, his voice sounding tense.
Diandra's hand clutches her stomach and the other hand covers her mouth. "I feel sick. Oh my god." She then hurries to the restroom.
"Diandra, are you alright?" I ask but am only answered by a soft thud of the closing door. I turn to Ashton and our eyes meet, silently exchanging our unspoken words. I know he feels the same way as I do now: concerned, and maybe feeling bad for having to see Diandra like this. "I need to go check on her," I say, and Ashton nods.
"But this is almost the time," the event organizer interjects.
"Give me fifteen minutes."
"What will we do for fifteen minutes? Everyone is ready and waiting now."
"I don't know. Think of something. Make Ashton sing, or dance, or whatever," I reply as I walk to the ladies' room.
"I'll take care of the fifteen minutes." I hear Ashton's voice before the door behind me swings closed, swallowing the receding footsteps in the hallway. The commotion from a toilet booth is the only thing I can hear right now. Slowly, I tiptoe to the door and knock softly.
"Diandra? Are you alright?"
"Go away," she croaks between her gaggings. "You're a lying bitch!"
Okay, I deserve that. "I-I am sorry you had to find out this way," I stammer.
"You're a backstabber! A two-faced and a pathet...blaaargh!"
I wince at her words and also at the painful sound of her vomiting. "You sound very sick. Should I get Dickson to take you to the doctor?"
"I'm sick because of you," she seethes. "I don't need a doctor. And stop asking me questions now. Just, go, Charlotte. You make me pu...blaaarrgh!"
The intense hatred in her voice makes me shudder. I slowly walk to the washing counter and lean on it while waiting for her. I know I can just go now and ask someone to watch over her, but I want to make sure that everything is fine, especially after she found out about me and Ashton. Silently, I'm listening to her battle with nausea while my mind is roaming over. Is she catching stomach flu? Or is she really feeling sick because she heard us make out? I hope it's not the latter.
From her point of view, I can understand why she thinks I'm a hypocrite. I blatantly lied that I wasn't dating anyone thirty minutes ago during our table talk. And back at Dopium that night, instead of hinting to her about what had been going on between Ashton and me, I gave the impression as if I supported her advance toward her ex-boyfriend. But again, it was before we started a thing. You could have told her you two kissed, says another voice in my head, and I groan with guilt.
After a while, the gagging sound dies down and the vomiting stops. I hear the toilet being flushed for the last time before the door is pulled open, revealing Diandra's pale face and watery eyes. I can't mutter any word; I just quietly watch her trudge to the basin to wash her mouth and face.
"How long?" She asks, breaking the silence between us. "How long have you been seeing him?"
"Not long. A couple of weeks, or so."
"What about 'we're just co-parenting our daughter, nothing less, nothing more' line?" Diandra's chuckle sounds painfully dry. "All forgotten after you tasted Ashton's lips on you, right?"
"I didn't...it's not..." I can't find the proper answer to that. "It's complicated."
She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Give me that famous line," she spits before leaning forward to the basin, her hands clutching the edge of the granite counter to support her weight. "You gotta give me the real answer, Charlotte. At least you owe me this after lying to my face. I want to know what's going on. Are you guys just fooling around or is this an attempt to build a family for Chloe?"
To be honest, I don't know the answer to that. If there is also a term called probation in dating life, then it must be it.
Seeing me having trouble answering, she draws her conclusion. "So, it's just a fling then. It explains why he hides this from everyone," she says, still with the bitter tone in her voice.
"That's not the reason why we keep this from the public. It's for Chloe."
"Shouldn't she be happy to see her parents together?"
"Well, if we don't work, it will upset her."
Diandra raises one eyebrow. "So, you guys already think you won't work?"
Okay. Now I'm having a headache talking to this girl. I put my hand on my temple and massage it. "That's not my point," I murmur while closing my eyes. "We're just trying to be responsible adults here. You would understand better if you had a kid." Once the words escaped my lips, I regret them already. This is a sore topic for her, confirmed by her sucking in her breath. "I'm sor–"
"Don't." Her voice is sharper than a double-edged sword. "I don't need pity. It is how it is and I'm beginning to accept my situation."
Slumping my shoulders, I lean back on the wall behind me as I nod. "Okay."
She brushes her hair with her shaky hands, trying to make them look presentable, and glances at me from the mirror. The pain I saw several minutes ago has disappeared from those gray irises, replaced by her scrutinizing gaze. "Are you in love with him?"
I knit my eyebrows. "We just started dating, Diandra. It's too early to talk about love, isn't it?"
"Exactly," she replies. "I just needed to make sure that you're aware."
"Aware of what?"
"Ashy and I always dated random people during the time we were apart, but it was never serious. It never was and it never will. At the end of the day, we always find our way back together. So, it's smart of you not to get yourself too deep into it and get hurt eventually."
"I've heard this so many times already. Yet, here I am" —I shrug— "stubborn as always."
She tilts her head, an intriguing glint flashing in her eyes. "You're a smart woman but you really don't understand what you're getting yourself into." She shakes her head while taking a deep breath. "I know I made a mistake and he seems to not be able to forgive me yet. I wish I thought twice about everything I said and did to save us from the last fight. But I'm not gonna lie to you, Charlotte —because I'm not a hypocrite like you, that I will fight for Ashton, even if I have to go against you. I will earn his trust back to make him ready to open up to me again."
Diandra's words make the hairs on my neck stand, but there is no way I will show her that they affect me. "We will see about that."
She dabs her face with a tissue before reapplying lipstick. "Meanwhile, you can have fun with him, secretly, as it should be. Enjoy it while it lasts."
Her every line pushes me to the edge and I see no point in standing here to listen to her hateful words. I push myself off the wall. "I wouldn't be so confident if I were you. Anyway, I need to g–"
"Look," she cuts my line as she turns around to me, crossing her arms against her chest. "I know you're too blind to see now because you're in love. I can't blame you because what's not to love about him? But you've only known him for months. It should be me who said 'I wouldn't be so confident if I were you'."
"Whatever you say, Diandra. And I don't understand why I keep talking to you right now while I have more important things to attend to out there. I just came here to make sure you were fine, which is you are now. And again, I'm sorry you found out about me and Ashton this way." With that, I make my way to the door.
"You talk too high of yourself, Charlotte, while what you did was sneak your way in when Ashy was alone and vulnerable, just like any other insignificant girl in his life. You're just a filler. It will be over sooner than you think."
My hand clutches the door handle. "That's not entirely true." I clear my throat. "We kissed that night before you guys broke up. So, I sneaked my way in when he was still with you, Diandra."
It takes a few seconds before she reacts. "You what?"
"Yes, you heard me."
"Did you guys...?"
I turn my head to look at her pale face and shake my head. "No, we didn't. I was drunk but I didn't go further than kissing him. I was aware that you were still in the picture, and I'm not proud of that." I sigh audibly. "I encouraged Ashton to come clean to you but he chose not to. I learned later from him that you two were just fuck buddies and no commitment was involved. So, it should be me who said 'you talk too high of yourself, Diandra'."
Instead of answering, she covers her mouth and runs back to the toilet booth. "I feel sick again..."
At the same time, the restroom door bursts open, prompting me to jump back or it would hit me flat on the face. Our dear event organizer walks in and looks at me with a stern look. "It's time, Ms. Garnett. Your child is waiting."
"Give me a second." I nod at her before striding to Diandra's door. "I will get Dickson. You should go home and rest," I pause a bit. "And Diandra, I'm sorry for how things turned out."
Letting out a breath of relief, I walk out of the restroom with a sense of victory in my chest. Not a victory of winning Ashton over, but the contentment in how I handled myself in front of Diandra. I hate the feeling of hurting her like this, but the truth needs to be told.
I honestly don't know what's going to happen after this. Will there be a war? Will I need to keep looking behind my back? Will I have to get on another roller-coaster ride? I don't mind one bit because I've never been more ready for anything in my life. I'm going to fight for my little family, for Ashton and Chloe.
⭐⭐⭐