Chapter Seventeen: "Jaime Annoyance Scale."
ON FRIDAY, I RAN out of Roger Hall, almost skipping my way up Edgar Hill. If there was no way to skip up a hill, I managed to achieve it. My lips were hurting from smiling at my phone, tapping away at my screen in the group chat with me, Mariam and Yasmeen. My party-loving friend had already left to return home last night and I was hurriedly making my way to the bus stop to go see Yasmeen off.
I was all but singing my praises as I reached up the hill, slightly out of breath from the long trek I'd make sure I wouldn't take through the following week.
"Thank you universe, thank you, someone, thank you, anyone, for a break," I muttered, my fingers freezing almost numb at the cold but I was too happy to care.
I wouldn't have to care about midterms anymore (except for one but bird course).
I wouldn't have to see Tweedledee One and Tweedledee Two in biomethods anymore.
I didn't have to see Ashton.
Freedom was so close but when my phone buzzed, my elation dropped with it.
"Jesus Christ," I muttered, reading the wordy paragraph from Laurence who wanted to see me in the music rooms.
The music rooms. That was down the hill I had trekked. That I would have to come back up eventually like I was scaling Mount Everest.
I grumbled under my breath, setting a brisk pace to meet my friend, and zipping my jacket even higher up as I faced the chill wind. My feet were leading me down the hill when I saw a familiar mop of dark hair at a distance.
My eyes locked with Clayton as he walked up the hill with a few of his own friends.
Clayton seemed to want to say something but then he shut his mouth quickly. I opened my mouth to speak, no clue what would come out. A greeting? How's business? How are midterms? Are you going home for the break back to your small and lovable family?
But the cringe and embarrassment from Halloween night seized in my throat and then I was quick to avert my gaze, walking forward and ahead to Laurence in the music room.
The odd and awkward moment was recounted to Yasmeen in her room moments later. I sat in her desk chair as a loud laugh travelled into the room from the living room. Her youngest brother, Abdel, was giggling at a show I had put up on the TV for him and her parents were busy in the kitchen. They were the only ones in her family that had come along but she had more siblings and close cousins that were waiting for her arrival at home.
Yasmeen's face contorted into an obvious cringe that I knew matched my own.
"This is our fault." Yasmeen sighed. "We made you think that he liked you and you even kept saying that he doesn't. I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," I said. "I have to talk to him eventually. There's such a strain and I'm pretty sure he's been avoiding me since our conversation didn't play out very well. It was so awkward. I don't want to ruin our friendship."
"You'll be fine," She said. "I'm kind of proud of you, though."
"Why?"
"Because you went up and confronted him even though you were wrong."
"I did it." I agreed. "I feel good."
"You should." She said.
No, I didn't feel good. "I feel nauseous."
"Oh my God," Yasmeen muttered as her parents entered her room.
"Please," I begged, holding Yasmeen by the waist as she laughed. Her dad chuckled as her eight-year-old brother bounced into the room, pushing his way past his parents to jump on Yasmeen's bed. "Don't leave me."
"I told you you could always come with us." Yasmeen said, hugging me back. "Especially since Mariam's picking me up on the way back."
"I can't imagine the three of us driving for hours back to Jasper Bay."
"Don't you get car sick easily?"
"I'd be fighting you for shotgun." I muttered.
"I'd win."
"I'd win. Or else you'd end up with puke on your lap." I said, completely serious. The last road trip I went on was with my sister and her husband and we didn't make it an hour of the way before I was bent over the side of the road, revealing to them that I ate pizza for breakfast.
"I'd win." Her brother said, completely oblivious to what we were saying as his mom told him to get off of the bed.
"No, you need to focus on your family," I assured her. "I need to be apart from you. We're together too long. It's attachment issues, I swear."
Yasmeen's mom bent down to give me a hug. "You're always welcome to our home."
"Thank you," I said with glee as she pushed a container in my hands. I almost lit up in the same way I had when I was leaving campus earlier today and the next word to come out of my mouth, came out in a whisper, "Koshary."
I could almost taste the carb-loaded dish in my mouth. Her mom had put more spaghetti than rice in my container, the way she knew I liked it compared to Yasmeen who preferred more rice. Yasmeen and I may have known each other less than I've known most of my first-year friends, but her parents liked visiting calling her often and each time I was either given new Egyptian food to try or promised. It helped that her older brother was a chef and her mom loved to cook.
If I wasn't still standing here with Yasmeen's family, I would have bolted to the microwave like The Flash to heat this up right now. Yasmeen put a hand to her temple as if my entire existence was causing her a headache. "Why did you say it like that?"
"Because it deserves to be said like that," I said, holding it up to her. "Look."
"I left some more plates in the fridge," Her mom said. She's one of the best mothers in the world.
"C'mon we gotta go." Yasmeen's little brother chirped. Her parents and brother started leaving when Yasmeen slung her duffel bag over her shoulder, pausing by the threshold of her door to look at me.
"Have fun," I said. "I want texts."
"As always," Yasmeen said. "Iman is here so don't act like you're lonely without me and Mari. I'll tell him to make sure you aren't alone this break."
"Iman is not my only friend," I mentioned.
"Who else is here that you're close with? And isn't connected to Iman."
Almost everyone I knew was gone and the ones that were left knew Iman. "No one," I grumbled, crossing my arms.
"Good, then go with him. Call me if you're bored, okay?'"
"Okay." When we said our goodbyes and her family left the house, my afternoon became dull quickly. Even after eating koshary and running to work for the rest of that afternoon, I had returned to an empty household. Larine was the only other roommate still here. She was spending the day with her boyfriend, Benny and likely the night so I knew there was a good chance that I wouldn't see her.
immanuel: Where you at?
His text came in around 10 pm. Yasmeen must have texted him again.
Me: Why?
immanuel: Party.
Me: Seriously? You tell me now?
immanuel: Get dressed. I'll pick you up in an hour.
Immanuel could drive but he didn't own a car here in Ontario.
Me: With what car?
Immanuel didn't reply. Rude.
I spent the next hour getting ready, applying my makeup and wearing jeans and a long sleeve top that had a plunging neckline before grabbing the necessary cards and stuffing them in my pockets.
There was a quick knock on my door as I turned off the lights, grabbing my phone and jetting to the door. Immanuel was on the other side, wearing a t-shirt and jeans in this freezing weather. Behind him, I see the imaginary car accompanied by broad shoulders I had grown familiar with overtime—or rather the first time I saw him. Aven was standing outside of the door, but he was wearing sweats.
Sweats.
"Are we not going to the party?" I asked.
Iman shook his head, "Change of plans, we're going out to eat."
My jaw hit the floor. "You're kidding. I put on makeup."
"And you can keep your makeup on as we eat."
Clearly, he didn't understand how long it had taken me tonight to do my face. Especially without Mariam in the background, talking to me about anything and everything. That I was used to. Tonight, was a little bit of a struggle being alone in my house without my two friends.
Yasmeen was right. I did act like I was lonely without them.
"Immanuel."
He wasn't fazed by his full name being used like I would have been. He already turned on his heels. "Let's go."
I walked up to the car. Dev was already in the backseat, tipping his hat in my direction. He was also wearing sweats. I sat in the passenger seat, closing the door as I settled into the comfort before turning to Aven's handsome profile.
"You look nice," Those words may have come out of Aven's mouth but he wasn't looking at me.
He wasn't looking at me.
His gaze was fixed on the console between us, changing gears as Iman had closed the door after he entered the car.
Although the response wasn't automatic, he said it in a polite tone. Nothing like the tone he had used during Halloween He had been looking at me when I approached the car but the second I was inside, he averted his eyes. Why?
"I look like time wasted," I muttered, "Where's Laurie?"
"He's out with other eng people," Dev answered. Aven still wasn't looking at me. Now I was getting bothered.
I turned to Iman, trying to not ask Aven what was wrong. "Why aren't we going to party?"
"Because I needed to pick you up," Iman said, putting on his seatbelt. "I texted Aven. He didn't want to party and Dev didn't want to party, but he wanted food so we're getting food now."
"He wanted food so we're getting food now." I mocked, grumbling while putting my seatbelt on. All Dev did was laugh in response before the two at the back found themselves in a random conversation.
I didn't attempt to make conversation with the one I sat next to. Even as we drove to a fast-food restaurant, Aven still didn't glance at me. Or acknowledge me.
Moments later we were sitting in the middle of one of Dev's favourite fast-food restaurants that I didn't even have time to process the name of because he all but pushed us all inside the place filled with tons of people. We had managed to find a booth in the corner near the back to sit.
After getting food, I was sitting down next to Immanuel, across from Aven and Dev. Aven still hadn't acknowledged me once all night. Irritated yet tired, I let out a yawn, setting up camp with my arms folded in front of me and laying my head down on top of them. "Why are you tired?" Immanuel asked.
"I had work today. If you ever get offered to do retail, shut down that offer."
"Is it that bad?" Before I could open my mouth Iman put a hand up. "Never mind, I don't want a rant."
"I don't rant."
"You rant," Immanuel declared. "Retail can't be that bad."
"It's not. It's worse." Dev agreed and I slapped his hand in a high five before resuming my position.
"Change your job," Iman suggested.
"Not that easy." But Iman wasn't paying attention, continuing to speak.
"Oh, I need to come in one day. My old suit is messed up and I need more. My mom's on my ass about it."
"New events?" I asked. The mention of a suit made my eyes dart over to Aven, remember when he had entered my store that one evening.
"Wedding season in Spring and she wants me to get something now. In winter." He made it sound as if his mother had told him he was about to go to every wedding in the world.
"She's right," I said.
"Better now than never." Dev agreed.
Immanuel scowled at us concurring but I nodded to him. "Tell me when and I'll help you out."
"Cool. So what's in the game plan for this week?" Immanuel asked, rubbing his hands together as if he was concocting an evil plan.
"We still have games," Aven said. "We have a game tomorrow. And a game next Friday. And practices."
Dev glanced over at me. "Does that mean we have to be their cheerleaders?"
"You mean you," I corrected. "I have work on both of those days."
"At 7 pm?" Aven asked and my eyebrows went up.
Oh, so now I'm acknowledged?
But he still refused to look at me, playing with the paper label of the water bottle in his hands.
"I might be able to make the Friday game if you want me there that badly, Aves," I said, reaching over to grab one of Immanuel's fries. "All you have to do is ask."
As I predicted, his eyes darted up towards me, narrowed in interest. I met him head-on, waiting for a response with eye contact this time but he didn't get a chance when Iman cut in. However, Aven did take a drink of his water but not before smiling. Good.
"Yasmeen told me you're by yourself this break," Iman mentioned.
"The trio gone?" Aven looked surprised. "Don't tell me you're all alone," Aven said. The word alone needed to be eradicated from everyone's vocabulary.
"There's Larine but she's tethered to her boyfriend, and we don't really talk," I admitted.
"You can come over whenever you want if you're bored," Aven suggested and I lit up, a part of me glad that it wasn't me asking to hang out with someone without someone telling them to. Yasmeen and Iman meant well but this was out of someone's accordance. Had nothing to do with the fact that it was Aven.
Liar.
"I'm almost done Glee so you might as well come over to finish it whenever you're free."
I was busy tomorrow finishing up work and going to work but-- "Sunday?"
Aven nodded slowly. "Sounds good."
"Sounds like a date." Iman chirped. "Not alone anymore, are you?" He kept his gaze on me to the point where I scowled at what he was insinuating.
"Didn't Yasmeen tell you to provide me company?"
"You can get my company if you come with me to Toronto."
I groaned immediately. "Don't tell me you're still trying to find that Dolly Parton CD for your brother?"
"I'm not trying to find it," Iman said. "I have found it and it's in that city at a very specific spot."
Dev glanced at Aven. "He actually listens to country?"
"He listens to Dolly Parton, not the whole genre," Aven tilted his head in my direction. "Not like this one over here."
"Do not refer to me as 'this one'," I scolded him as he grinned.
"She likes country music?" Dev asked in surprise.
"She has a whole playlist. She's a weirdo." Aven said.
"I am not," I said.
"You are." Aven and Dev said in unison, with matching grins that reminded me why they're such close friends.
"The Jaime annoyance scale is getting higher and higher if you two don't shut up."
The boys didn't care. The night continued at the booth easily, Dev going to take a call outside as Iman played with a paper holder of the straw, putting it to the end of his own straw and blowing into it. The paper hit Aven in the forehead and Iman laughed like it was the funniest thing he had ever seen in his life.
"You're that bored?" Aven asked, not even fazed by his antics. Aven crumpled the paper into a ball and whipped it at Iman, the material hitting him right in the cheek.
"I'm not bored, I am easily entertained. There's a difference." Iman said, pulling out his phone.
"What happened to that girl whose number you got?" Aven asked him.
Iman texted with one hand. "We went out two times. She's chill."
Aven assessed him carefully before glancing under the table. I stared at him, puzzled by his action. He didn't say anything for a couple of seconds, taking a sip of his water before nodding. "You hooked up."
Good for him. "How do you know?" Iman asked.
"Iman, I've known you way longer than I should have."
"Since we were in diapers, baby." Iman grinned.
"You have telltale motion whenever you've hooked up with someone. You do this thing where you cross one leg over the other when you're talking about someone you've hooked up with."
"You got a telltale too," Iman sputtered. "You—I don't fucking know. Leave me alone."
Aven turned to me, ready to expose our friend,"The day he lost his virginity this guy wouldn't shut up about it. We were walking to his house it was me, Zeki, him and Aaliyah."
"Aaliyah's your friend, right?" I asked them. The name had been mentioned a few times over the moments I've been with Iman, but I've never asked, assuming it was their friend from back in New Pensely.
"Our family friend from back home and his best friend," Aven explained, and I nodded in understanding. I should have guessed. Anything connected to Aven was connected to Iman. "He wouldn't shut up about it. We went to his house, and he kept crossing his legs over like that constantly because it's like a way for him to not tell someone about it if they're crossed. It's almost as if he uncrosses them, he'll spew."
"Shut up." Iman cursed.
"You even lied," Aven turned back to me while rolling his eyes. "He kept telling us 'we did it over here, we did it on the table, guys it was crazy'. In reality, he busted two seconds in."
"Shut up." Iman reached across the table in an attempt to shove Aven. Aven laughed hard enough of us to draw attention to our corner booth, pushing Iman's hands away.
"And he kept acting like we didn't know," Aven said.
Iman got up, putting his head down as he started walking away. "Where are you going?"
"To get more food. Jaime, I'll get you more fries," He lifted his head to glare at Aven. "Aven, fuck off."
I laughed at his attitude as he walked off, joining the long line to order food. Aven played with the paper straw that Dev had from his drink. He was shaking his head but once again like before he wasn't looking at me. "Iman and his fucking telltale."
There was a moment of silence between us as he pretended that I didn't exist. The seconds passed by and I grew more and more impatient. With Aven, I knew that I could talk about anything and he would listen but when he was purposely trying to not look at me?
I was done.
Aven must have known that I would try to do something because instantly, he let out a cough, shaking his head once as if to tell me 'don't try it'. I wasn't going to. I was barely capable of fighting my own sister as a kid, there was no way I was going to actually kick someone, let alone him.
Aven looked-finally-up at me. "What?"
"Why aren't you looking at me now that we're alone? You didn't look at me in the car either, only when we were all facing each other. It's like you're..." A moment made me cringe at the thought of Clayton when I used the word, "Avoiding."
"I'm not avoiding you."
"You told me 'you look nice' and then proceeded to..." My voice trailed off as my eyes widened with realization.
Oh.
To make my realization even more obvious, I glanced down at my outfit. More at the deep V neck of the outfit. He had said I looked nice. When I had worn it one time over the summer when I met up with Mariam, she described the outfit as sexy. I wasn't a cocky person but that seemed to be the only plausible cause of it. Based on the hardening of his jaw with no flushed tip ears to be accompanied by his voice to tell me I'm wrong, I had everything I needed to know.
Even though I now understood his struggle, I wasn't going to let it go. Aven must've known because he exhaled sharply.
"Jay." His voice gave the intention that we were not going to have this conversation. Light flirting here or there but I was crossing enemy waters and he knew it but a sick part of me wanted to fuel the fire. A little bit.
"It's because of my outfit." I said, with a shrug, "It's a nice top, right?"
"I told you that already." He mumbled.
The way he stared at me wasn't out of respect. It was because of attraction. And if I didn't think there was an attraction here, regardless of anything, I did now.
He was trying not to cross that line too. That's what the struggle was. He was trying, and like me, he was partially failing.
I grew pleased in fact, coughing into my hand and at the familiar feeling when it came to him clouding my mind. His attention fell to the paper from the straw and I settled for gripping my phone, fiddling with it in my hands. "You got a telltale?" I asked, changing the topic.
Aven's features softened, less intense, and less mind-melting for me to handle but this still made me feel gooey on the inside. "I don't have a telltale like Iman because I don't hook up with as many girls as he has to find out."
"I thought Trinity was the only girl you've been with."
Aven didn't answer for a second, his eyes on the paper in his hands, moving it around into a ball between his thumb and index fingers. The laziest smile came to his handsome face. "I didn't say that."
I leaned back, crossing my arms. Curiosity was a horrible thing when it came to him. He must've known it because he propped up one fist under his chin, eyeing me. "Do you mind that I'm curious?"
"No," His focus was still on the paper in his hands. "Ask a question."
"How many people have you been with?"
He rolled the paper between his fingers. His movements were controlled. Not solely his actions, but this conversation as well. "What about you?"
"You didn't answer my question."
"You didn't answer mine."
"I asked first."
"Order doesn't matter," He said, repeating what he had said on the night of Halloween. That territory was about to be breached again and I knew it. I felt it when he locked eyes with me once again and my breath caught in my throat. Do not touch me if you don't want this to happen, I almost said.
Aven's hand came to his mouth, his index finger rubbing his dark pink bottom lip. "The answer is what counts. I'll sit here all night if I have to."
He meant that statement.
I didn't budge. "You have a game tomorrow night."
He shrugged. "Then I guess I'm missing the game."
"You're so..."
The slow grin that danced across his lips made me huff. I took a deep breath, my gaze going from his forearms to his slouched posture. Then he shifted.
The sudden movement made his long legs under the table stretch forward enough for the toes of his shoes to be pressed against my own. There should have been nothing appealing about the movement, at least to me, but I felt a jolt shoot down me and into places I wasn't trying to think about tonight. Although I was painfully hyperaware of the seemingly innocent gesture, I itched to check under the table to confirm that he had done that. On purpose.
"I've been with five people," I mumbled.
"Okay," Aven took a deep breath. "I've been with a handful of women."
"Five?"
"Four," Aven's eyes looked up at me once before retreating to the paper, his foot moving once again. I stilled as he pushed his feet against my own gently, to push my leg back. I allowed him for my right foot, the top and middle of my shoe pressed against his left shoe with our heels on the ground.
"How about kissed?" I asked.
"What about you?" He inquired, not answering.
Eight. Most were tipsy mistakes. "Do you remember how many people you've kissed?" I pressed again.
"Yes, I remember," He muttered. "But since you don't want to disclose, I take back my question."
There was a lull in the conversation, both of our eyes down on the paper in his fingers. The rumpled material was now stretched out with creases and wrinkles, and he attempted to smoothen them down as he glanced up at me. "No more questions?"
"No more questions?" I mocked him.
The corner of Aven's lip went up as he pressed down on the paper again, using his thumbs. "Five, huh?"
"Four, huh?" The look he gave me made me stay silent and I put more pressure on his foot against my own, making sure he felt me against him. Even with a whole table between us.
Then he asked, "How many were good?"
My eyebrows almost shot up and off my forehead. "We're doing this?"
Aven stopped his movements, eyes flickering up in amusement. "Were they all that bad?"
"No." I truthfully admitted but Aven acted as if I hadn't spoken.
"Not good reviews, huh?" He heaved a big dramatic sigh. "How sad."
I played along. "Truly tragic. I could only assume that you've suffered bad sex as well."
His lips twitched, almost breaking the act before he forced a frown, but I was glad to know that he's had a good time in the sheets. "Just awful."
"Now that's sad."
"I could say the same thing about you."
"Right," I said. "Not even star worthy on Yelp, if I have to be honest."
Aven let out a little laugh, breaking the banter. His index finger traced along the paper slowly before he looked up at me. He was tittering on that line. He wasn't tittering. No. The man was on the verge of leaping when he said, "Rate me."
"Aven," I sat up straight, aware of him starting to put pressure on my foot beneath the table. Stronger than the one I was pressing against him, enough for me to feel his presence. As if I couldn't feel whatever the fuck was happening when the heat in his eyes stayed as he sat up in his seat from his slouched position.
"From an outside perspective. What would you think I would be on your scale?"
Eleven out of ten. Let me not set my expectations too high. I hated disappointment.
"A four."
Aven's eyebrows went up. "A four?"
I was attempting to bruise his ego completely. Attempting to shatter it. It wasn't going to work even if I ran my mouth. Aven was humble, but he was also very self-aware. That was attractive.
I placed my chin in my hand, elbow propped on the table. At that moment, my feet put pressure against his own, trying to counteract the inversely reciprocal property of the area of his feet being bigger than mine with an even larger force to equalize us. "Out of ten. Maybe you can get the girl off every once in a while. It happens."
Aven's eyes went up to me then back down to the paper in his hands. I didn't think he was going to respond until I heard him murmur, "I'll hold you onto that."
I froze.
He couldn't say shit like that. How the hell was I supposed to respond to that? A part of me was going through my mental Mariam rulebook for a quick response but I didn't need that. I mentally threw it over my shoulder.
The line wasn't nonexistent. It wasn't even blurry. It was there and prominent. And even though Aven say that it was out there, he was able to cross that line.
He wanted to cross the line. He wanted to cross the fucking line at that moment.
Dev slid into the other side of Aven. I jumped, the movement small but I knew Aven noticed, his attention lingering on me before turning to Dev. Dev threw some of the fries in his mouth. "What are we talking about?"
Aven resumed his composure. He moved his feet back, retracting from where we were touching. As if we both weren't prying into another aspect of each other's lives. As if he didn't ask me to rate what he would likely be like in bed. As if we didn't have a whole conversation about sex. "Who was on the phone?"
Dev didn't notice the change in conversation. "Laurence. He wants us to pick him up from the party when he's done in a bit. He doesn't want to take an Uber."
Aven nodded as Iman came back, handing me fries of my own. As the night continued, Aven didn't bring up our private conversation. Not even after I was dropped home over text.
In fact, it was as if the entire conversation had never happened. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.