one month later
Langa awoke, slowly and blearily, to a mouthful of Reki's hair. He screwed up his face, trying to push the hair away with his tongue, warm under all of the covers with Reki's back snug against his chest. He rubbed his mouth on the pillow and then buried it in Reki's shoulder instead, squeezing his eyes shut against the light bleeding through his curtains, and Reki mumbled something in his sleep, something that sounded like "baby."
Langa's face felt even warmer. He snuggled closer, burying his mouth more deeply in Reki's shoulder and breathing him in, sighing at how good Reki smelled. He smelled like Langa, like Langa's home, nestled close to Langa's heart in one of his old t-shirts, mumbling incoherently against Langa's pillows.
Langa snuggled closer, cozy and content. He was home.
"Baby," he mumbled against the warm, warm skin of Reki's neck, hugging Reki's waist, and Reki shifted closer, breathing a soft noise into the gentle morning. Underneath the blankets, his scabbed heels pressed to Langa's shins, and Langa felt himself smile, the curve of his mouth hidden in the worn fabric of Reki's t-shirt.
They lay there for a while, breathing together, and Langa kept his eyes closed, quietly marvelling at all the tiny moments of Reki waking up: the way Reki's feet stretched out, scrabbling against the sheets, the way Reki shifted closer to Langa's chest, his shirt twisting around him, the way Reki covered his mouth to stifle his garbled yawn. "Good morning," Langa whispered against him, and Reki's voice was scratchy when he said,
"Mornin', baby,"
and Langa buried his smile deeper in Reki's shoulder, as Reki yawned again, relaxing against Langa on the exhale. He squirmed a little, getting comfortable, and Langa felt warm inside, knowing that Reki was so, so comfortable with him, calling him baby with his brain still half-asleep, settling against him so easily, as if Langa's arms were his safe place.
The day still felt fragile, with how early it was, and Langa brushed his lips carefully against Reki's neck, whispering, "Yeah?" Reki made a throaty humming sound of affirmation, so Langa kissed him there, slowly, his mouth wet and gentle against Reki's skin. His palms felt warm, one hugging Reki's soft waist, the other trapped under the pillows, and he could feel Reki's pulse thrumming under his lips, slow and sleepy.
He kissed the edge of Reki's jaw, and Reki tilted his head up, giving him room, and Langa savored the prickly feeling of Reki's facial hair growing in, a new addition to the jumble of things Langa had discovered about him.
He loved every single one of them.
Langa nibbled softly at Reki's jaw, and Reki huffed a laugh, squeezing Langa's hand. He tasted like sweat, his face creased from the pillowcase, and Langa kissed his cheek and the faded dent of his dimple, one of his favorite places to kiss. And then Reki turned his head and kissed the corner of his mouth, still warm with sleep.
"Baby," he mumbled against Langa, and Langa laughed again, smothering the sound by kissing him again, and Reki made this satisfied sound in his throat, shifting on the lumpy mattress, turning his body so he could kiss more easily, and they lost themselves in each other for a while, the sun creeping up behind the broken blinds of Langa's bedroom.
"You taste like sleep," Langa whispered against him, and he felt Reki's mouth curve up, even as Reki clumsily pushed at his chest.
"Yeah, well, last night you tasted like garlic," Reki said, and Langa was startled into laughing, his neck flushing.
"You bought me that pizza," he protested, his voice still raspy from waking up, and from the smile itching his cheeks. He felt a little embarrassed, but mostly he just felt warm, because Reki had wanted to kiss him anyway, hadn't he? Reki had kissed him so much last night that Langa's head had gone dizzy, his hands helpless and forgotten on the couch cushions beside him, his mind full of only Reki, Reki's hands on his face, Reki's weight against his thighs. Reki had kissed him until he stopped thinking, until he stopped worrying, the world falling away for a moment, blurring pleasantly into something close to heaven.
The world had returned, of course, when Reki pulled away; but it was a beautiful world, wasn't it? Reki was laughing against his sleep-heavy chest, kissing the corner of Langa's mouth again, and Langa had never woken up smiling as much as today.
"I love you," he said, and Reki laughed again, that breathless catch in his throat, and Langa squirmed closer to him under the blankets, his heart full with the way Reki still laughed almost every time Langa said I love you, always embarrassed by the words. Reki grinned at him, his cheeks flushed, and said,
"I love you too." He leaned in, kissing Langa's chin, then his jaw. "Mm. It's a big day, huh? You ready for it?"
Langa's chest thumped, once, but he nodded. "You're the one who's not ready," he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt, and it must have worked, because Reki laughed again, trailing his fingers up Langa's arm and smoothing his thumb over Langa's cheek, tucking his hair carefully behind his ears. He grinned up at Langa, his tongue caught between his teeth, and Langa remembered to breathe, he remembered to breathe out and then carefully in again, and his limbs relaxed, marginally, against the mattress again.
The truth was that he was nervous, just a little. He had spent weeks trying to plan the perfect date for Reki, the way Reki had planned the perfect date for him, the carnival and the ocean and the hotel room, all of the beautiful memories captured in the photobooth pictures. Langa had found an onsen and everything, the most gorgeous place, but only two days ago the place had called him to apologize, saying that the reservation had to be cancelled due to bad weather.
Langa was a bit ashamed of how well he had taken the news—which was to say, not well at all. He had spent at least an hour lying in bed, the blankets dragged over his head, anguishing, before his mother had come in to bring him to therapy, where Langa had sat with his arms hugging himself, refusing to talk about it. "I wanted everything to be perfect," he had finally gotten out, because he had been so anxious about making everything perfect, so wonderful for Reki, who deserved the best date in the whole world.
It had taken a lot of coaxing to talk him down, but Langa had left the office with a couple fewer knots in his chest, and that night Reki had invited him over to play video games and eat cheesy chips, and the knots had relaxed further, at the way Reki laughed and rubbed his orange fingers all over Langa's button-down, staining it. Langa's palms had still been sweaty and a little trembly when he tackled Reki, tickling him in revenge, and Reki had laughed until he accidentally kneed Langa between the legs, and they had both toppled off the couch, yelping. The night had been imperfect and silly and sort of wonderful, and Reki had kissed him for a long time in his bed, his arm slung over Langa's body, fingers still twitching with his excess energy even as Langa drifted off to sleep.
So Langa knew this day would be good, because he was spending it with Reki, bad weather or no weather. The storms would come, and he would have to learn to live with them anyway, no matter how unpredictable they were.
Reki ruffled his hair and kissed him again, before yawning and pushing himself up into a sitting position, stretching. His t-shirt rode up over his stomach, and he scratched his side, grinning lazily down at Langa. "We're still wearing the matching shirts, right?"
Langa swallowed, tearing his eyes away from the crease of Reki's stomach, the place he had kissed now, so many times, always with something hot and tight burning in his chest. "Yes," he said, and Reki gave him a cheeky smile and finger guns, cocking them in the way that always made Langa laugh when he was feeling uncertain, and Langa grinned, rubbing his elbow as he sat up, too.
"It's good," said Reki, "'cause you always look better in the clothes I pick out for you. No offense!" He poked Langa's nose and then scrambled off the bed, hurrying for the closet, and Langa shoved his feet into his slippers and stood up. He hadn't told Reki what they were doing for their date, partly because he still had no idea, himself, but he tried to tell himself it would be okay as he reached for the bedside table, groping for his glasses. The glasses were uncomfortable, and they made him squint, but the doctor said he needed them; apparently only being able to see "big shapes" wasn't considered good vision. When he got anxious he still had trouble seeing clearly, but the glasses did help with the blurriness, and for that, at least, Langa was grateful.
"Hang on, I'm gonna try mine on right now," Reki said, snagging his shirt off the hanger, half-tearing his sleep shirt over his head. Langa snuck over to him before he had a chance to change, dropping a quick kiss on Reki's freckled shoulder, and Reki laughed appreciatively, pressing back against him as he fumbled to get his arms through the sleeves.
"Is it dry?" Langa wondered, touching the fabric of the colorful shirt gingerly, surprised to find it soft and warm. They had tie-dyed the shirts yesterday in Reki's front yard, getting more paint on themselves than on the fabric, and the colors were sort of blotchy, bleeding together funny, but Reki wrestled the shirt over his head, and the sight of it still made Langa's throat dry. "Oh," he said, a bit dumbly, as Reki turned around, straightening the hem. "Oh, um."
"Good?" asked Reki, grinning, and Langa swallowed, nodding, trying not to stare at the way the shirt fell just above Reki's navel, leaving his appendix scar exposed, the hair above the hem of his shorts soft and thick. Reki laughed again, nudging their toes together, and Langa flushed, rubbing his hands on his pajama pants. A couple weeks ago, Reki had confessed that he had worn that sunshine crop top hoping that Langa would stare, and Langa had been so embarrassed that he had to bury his face in Reki's chest for a long, long time. God. No matter how often he was allowed to look at Reki, Langa didn't think he would ever stop being flustered by him.
"I like it," Langa croaked, and Reki laughed, leaning in to kiss his chin again, bumping his nose against the clunky frames of Langa's glasses.
"I knew you would," he said, affection thick in his voice, and then he grabbed Langa's matching tie-dye shirt, stuffing it into his hands. "Your turn!"
Langa swallowed again, feeling his ears go warm at the way Reki just stood there, grinning expectantly, waiting for Langa to change. He knew he could turn around if he wanted to, and Reki would give him his privacy, but he didn't want to, he wanted Reki to continue looking at him. So he unbuttoned his pajama shirt clumsily and slid it over his shoulders, leaning into the touch when Reki reached for him, and they kissed again with Reki's palm warm against Langa's side, comfortable and safe on the curve of his waist.
They finished changing quickly, finding clothes in drawers and backpacks, and Langa struggled to hop into his shorts while Reki stood in the bathroom, drawing on his eyeliner, sticking his tongue between his teeth in concentration. Langa had been too embarrassed to crop his own t-shirt, but he liked the shorts his mom had bought him, these red ones with the hems rolled up. Clumsily he pulled his hair back, making faces at himself in the mirror, and then grabbed something from his nightstand before hurrying into the bathroom to be with Reki.
"Hello, my love," Reki said, turning his head to kiss Langa again, and Langa made a sound that was far too close to a squeak for his liking, his face burning when Reki laughed. Langa jabbed him in the stomach, his ears hot.
"Stop," he said.
"But your face!" said Reki, and then he leaned in again, and Langa swallowed and met him halfway, his palms still sweaty from the pet name. It was one Reki had been teasing him with for the last week or so, whispering my love over his shoulder when Langa was making waffles, or mumbling it against his neck when he was lying on top of him, the smile stifled in Langa's skin, listening eagerly for the hitch in Langa's breathing, and every time the words made Langa's heart stutter, his face red. He had been trying to get up the courage to mumble it back, Reki, my love, and maybe today he finally would.
Reki made him feel bold.
"What's that?" asked Reki, squeezing his wrist and jerking his chin down questioningly, and Langa glanced at his hands.
"Oh," he said, a little dazed. He had forgotten about the little box clasped in his sweaty hands, one of the edges dented a little from being shoved in his drawer for so long. He straightened his shirt and held it out, hesitantly, glancing back up at Reki. "It's for you. Something I...I made."
"You made something for me?" Reki took the gift carefully, looking in Langa's eyes, a smile beginning to tug at his mouth again. Langa nodded, rubbing his hands on his shorts again, the familiar nerves sticking in his chest again ( what if Reki doesn't like it ) but the nerves weren't as bad as they used to be. Reki would like the gift; Langa knew he would, and the certainty sat clear at the back of his mind, even as his anxiety sent other thoughts spiraling around it.
"I'm not very good at making stuff," Langa said, tripping over the words a little, "but my mom helped."
Reki grinned again. He made a quick "ah!" sound, and then pulled out one of the bracelets, the red and blue braided threads bright against his palm. "Aw, man," he said, his cheeks flushing warm, rubbing his mouth. "You didn't have to. Are they—are they matching?"
Langa nodded, his face pink, his hands clenching and then unclenching. "One for you and one for me?"
Reki looked up at him again, grinning, looking sort of flustered but mostly excited, and then he crushing Langa in a hug. Langa made a soft oof sound as Reki squeezed him, thumping one hand against Langa's back, and then Reki was pulling back, grabbing the other bracelet and shoving the little box onto Langa's messy countertop.
"Can we put them on now?" asked Reki, and Langa swallowed and nodded. He held out his wrist, his arm decorated with a variety of Reki's colorful band-aids because of a bad fall he had taken the other day, and carefully Reki slid the bracelet over his hand, knotting it tightly.
"Let me do yours," said Langa quickly, before Reki could do it himself, and Reki bounced on the balls of his feet, nodding, and pressed the bracelet into Langa's sweaty palm. He spread his hand out between them, and Langa's hands bumped up against his fingers, the knuckles that he loved to kiss when Reki was feeling self-conscious, and Reki laughed a little, as Langa tightened the bracelet around him.
"We look good!" Reki said, and Langa felt himself smiling again, the nerves melting away as he rocked on his feet, a little, nodding.
"Yeah," he agreed, and Reki poked his tongue between his teeth, satisfied, tangling their fingers together, and for a moment they both just looked down, happily, at the way the braided colors blended together, a perfect mix of red and blue. Reki had changed their fingernail polish this week, painting their nails a soft gold color that caught the sunlight just right. A lot of things had been changing lately, Langa thought, like the glasses and bringing Yua to S and Reki's different eyeliner styles, but when Reki squeezed his hand, Langa felt secure, warm to his toes, and a little bit excited.
He knew the important things had stayed the same.
The wind whipped Langa's hair back as they swung around another street corner, the moped skidding on the loose gravel of the road. Ahead, the water sparkled in the sunlight, the canopy of trees above making the road look speckled and bright, and Langa focused on his handlebars, the rumbling grip beneath his palms, and the tight clasp of Reki's arms around his waist.
The air was hot and dry in his mouth as the moped bounced over cobblestones, into a tiny local town that he had never seen before, plants hanging over sidewalks, shop owners waving to each other across the street. "Where are we?" Reki asked, leaning close to his ear, but Langa just shrugged, hanging on tight to the handlebars, because he had no idea where they were.
They had ridden for nearly a half an hour, no destination in sight, no plan in mind. Langa had been relying on finding somewhere that felt right, and at the next street corner he slowed, glancing ahead at the fence by the water. They were beside a convenience store, so he turned off the moped, unclipping his helmet.
"We're buying snacks," he told Reki, and Reki snickered, squeezing his waist affectionately, scrambling off the bike.
"Of course we are," he said. "Is this part of the date? Are you gonna buy me stuff?"
His grin was so pretty in the sunshine, his hair blown all wild by the moped, and Langa felt a little warm and a little sweaty, because of course he had been planning to buy Reki things. This was his date, wasn't it? And he wanted Reki to feel loved and cared for the way Langa always did, so he nodded. "Yes," he said, and then added, "And I won't even spill ice cream down your shirt."
Reki made a face, kicking at Langa's ankles as Langa climbed off the bike, putting down the kickstand, and Langa laughed a little, feeling even warmer. "Dude, shut it," Reki grumbled, but he slid his hand into Langa's as they went inside the convenience store, squeezing their sweaty palms together.
They went up and down the aisles and then back again, looking at everything. Langa tried to read aloud the labels that Reki pointed to, and Reki laughed every time Langa fumbled over a word, nudging their shoulders together, and so maybe Langa started fumbling on purpose, just to hear the way Reki snickered into his hand. The convenience store was small, but there were so many things to see, and Langa got lost in the bright colors of the candy aisle, in the feeling of Reki's thumb rubbing contentedly over his knuckles.
He said as much, or at least he tried to, tripping over the explanation, and the smile Reki gave him was so soft that Langa's heart squeezed. "You're the only one who could get lost in a convenience store, dude," Reki said, and then laughed, nudging impossibly close to his side, so pretty and vibrant in his tie-dye. "Well, you and me, when I'm with you."
Langa squeezed his hand, pressing his toes into his sandals. He knew that Reki liked to slow down with him sometimes, and it was one of his favorite things, the way Reki appreciated all the surprising things Langa's brain got stuck on. For some reason the moment made him feel brave, so he kissed Reki's stubbly cheek, even though they were probably in plain view of the cashier.
Reki laughed, his neck sort of red, and then he leaned over and kissed Langa's cheek, too. "You know what you wanna eat, baby?" he asked, swinging their hands between them, and Langa's heart squeezed at the casual way he said the pet name, as if it came naturally to him . He nodded.
"I want burgers."
"Of course you do," said Reki, laughing again, and Langa pressed his foot to the edge of Reki's sandal.
"You want a slushie," he said, and Reki grinned.
"You bet I do," he said. "Man, look at you. The best boyfriend in the world. My boyfriend. Ah, man, I'm so freakin' lucky."
Langa could feel his face going pink, so hurriedly he tugged on Reki's hand, pulling him down the aisle again, and together they gathered tinfoil-wrapped burgers and gummy candy and neon-colored slushies. At the register, Reki insisted on paying for Langa's food, which made Langa's hands feel hot and sweaty as he counted out his own change, Reki's fingers tucked carefully into the pocket of Langa's shorts, a tiny, secure anchor.
Outside the sun was brighter than ever, and Langa squinted, rubbing at his eyes underneath his glasses. "Those things bothering you?" asked Reki, stuffing his money into his own pockets, looking up at Langa. "I can drive for a while if you wanna take them off."
"You're not supposed to," said Langa, but he only wavered for a moment before saying, "Okay." They were far from home, in a peaceful seaside town; nobody would ever know. Carefully he climbed onto the moped behind Reki, tucking his glasses into the collar of his t-shirt and wrapping his arms around Reki's waist, his palms thrilling with the touch of Reki's warm, bare skin. Reki snuggled back against him, a little, experimenting with the controls of the moped until, with a jolt, they were rocketing down the road again.
The driving was clumsy; Reki kept veering too close to the curb and jerking the moped away again, but Langa squeezed his thighs against Reki's hips and felt good, good and warm. If it weren't for his stomach growling, he would have been happy just riding on the moped with Reki forever, no matter where they went. Everywhere was home with Reki, he thought, and then felt a little flustered with himself, because he was being so cheesy.
But maybe he would whisper that thought to Reki later, in between kisses, to see Reki get flustered too, and oh, the image made Langa's toes curl pleasantly in his sandals.
The moped rumbled under the canopy of trees again, on a cobble road alongside the water, and ahead of them Langa caught sight of a warm sunspot, tucked away beside the path. "Here," he said, barely thinking about the word, and Reki made a surprised sound in his throat and swerved the moped again, nearly hitting a tree, and the moped tipped. With a shout both of them went tumbling off, rolling onto the grass, and the moped crashed on its side on the street.
"Shit!" Reki bounced up, groping around wildly for Langa, who just groaned a little. When he opened his eyes, he could see the blue sky through the leaves, and Reki's fingers fumbled to pull his glasses out of the collar of his shirt. "Are they—ah," and his shoulders drooped in relief. "They're not broken! We're all good."
"What about me," grumbled Langa, wincing, touching his side. "I think my back is broken."
Reki laughed, leaning over him, the tips of his hair catching the sunlight, his dimples deep in his cheeks. Langa made a face up at him, his heart thumping, because Reki was so beautiful, even with dirt smeared over one of his temples, grass in his hair. "Aw, you're fine," Reki said, and he touched Langa's face with the hand holding his glasses, and Langa tipped his head up.
He knew he was blushing when he mumbled, "Kiss it better?" but the sound Reki made was worth it. Then Reki was blushing, too, mumbling something that sounded like, you baby, as he leaned down, his shoulders hunching over both of them as he pressed his mouth to the corner of Langa's lips. Langa tried to lean up, to kiss more deeply, but Reki moved away again, so that Langa had to chase him. Langa huffed, feeling his face growing warmer, the familiar itch in his sweaty palms as they clutched at the grass stems. "Please," he huffed out, and he watched Reki's eyes crinkle up, one of his hands smoothing Langa's hair out of his eyes.
"Please, huh?" And then he was leaning over Langa again, his breath ghosting over Langa's mouth as he mumbled, "Can't argue with that," and then they were kissing again, in the secluded area beside the water, the moped laying forgotten beside them, the flustered itch melting away into something sweet and comfortable.
My love, Langa thought, happily, tilting his face up against Reki's warm mouth, one of his hands reaching for Reki's knee, settling on the band-aid there. Reki shifted closer, humming against Langa's lips, and Langa breathed into the kiss, smiling, because they could kiss forever, couldn't they? The day was warm, and they were all alone by the water, the sound of birds overhead, the feeling of grass tickling his bare legs, his arms. Langa could feel so many things, so many wonderful beautiful things, and the most beautiful thing of all was the way Reki began to smile into the kiss, too, laughing a little and pulling away to poke Langa's cheek.
"Love you," Reki said, affectionate, and Langa turned his head to press his face against Reki's sunwarm leg, feeling the hair there soft and prickly, and mumbled,
"My love."
And Reki's thrumming body paused. Then his hand was smoothing Langa's hair out of his face, his voice low and scratchy when he whispered, "What'd you say?"
Langa was warm, all over. His hands were warm and his chest was warm and his face was warm, but it was a pleasant warmth, and he felt brave, even though he was blushing. Reki had made blushing a good thing, a safe thing, so Langa mumbled again, "I said, my love."
Reki made a sound, clearing his throat. "Say...say it again?"
Langa hummed. "Reki, my love."
Reki shifted, clearing his throat again. His voice sounded deeply embarrassed when he mumbled, "I was hoping you'd start saying that."
Finally Langa cracked his eyes open, squinting up at him lovingly. Reki's hair framed his face, overgrown and frizzy, and his eyes were scrunched up at the corners, his hand tangling itself in Langa's ponytail. "I like saying it," Langa whispered back, and he found Reki's hand among the grass and squeezed his fingers, although not too tightly, because Reki had sprained his hand a couple of days ago and Langa was still remembering to be gentle with him, because he was precious. "And it's true. You are my love."
Reki made another aborted sound, rubbing his mouth with the hand holding Langa's. Langa's knuckles brushed against the burnt skin of Reki's cheeks, textured and hot and wonderful. "You're mine," muttered Reki, and Langa felt himself smiling, his cheek squished against Reki's knee, so warm and full of love, his love for Reki and Reki's love for him. He adored Reki, the way he adored the sun, and he knew Reki adored him too, and so they glowed together, lying there and gazing happily into each other's eyes.
Finally Reki brushed the sweaty baby hairs off Langa's forehead and bent to kiss him there, his lips chapped and gentle between Langa's eyebrows. "Wanna eat?" he asked, touching Langa's stomach lightly, and Langa huffed a laugh, because he was hungry, and Reki had known, like always.
"Yes," he said, struggling to sit up, and Reki straightened Langa's shirt, covering up the sliver of sweaty skin and patting Langa's hip, and Langa felt warm, leaning over and dropping a kiss on Reki's shoulder. How had he ever dreamed of any date besides this one? The sun was dappled across the expanse of Reki's pretty skin, the water glistening beside them, and somewhere a bird called to its friend and the friend called back, two twin chips in the trees above them, and Reki laughed again, for no reason other than the simple joy of being alive.
They unpacked the food and the picnic blanket, and Reki brought out his trusty skateboard, which he had insisted on bringing even though he didn't know what kind of date it was. Reki wolfed down his food and then scrambled up again, throwing the board down, doing little flips and tricks on the cobblestones while Langa continued to eat, more slowly, savoring every moment.
He hoped he would have a lifetime of moments with Reki, more photobooth strips to tack to his walls, more sloppily-decorated matching t-shirts to hang in his closet, more inside jokes to whisper to each other at convenience store cash registers. He knew he would cherish each and every one of them.
"Langa, watch!" Reki called, even though Langa was already watching, and Langa gave him a thumbs-up as Reki bounced off the fence by the water, twisting in the air and landing hard on his board again. Reki waved wildly back, with his whole arm, and then, because he could, Langa blew him a kiss and watched Reki splutter, red-faced. "Not fair!" he yelled.
"It is fair," said Langa, taking another bite of his burger as Reki huffed, throwing his weight back onto the board. Reki's phone lit up on the picnic blanket, and Langa angled his face to read it, shoving his glasses back on so he could see: Make sure Langa gets those little kisses he likes in the backroom when we're clocking into work! read Reki's reminders, and, Don't forget to swap out the hoodie you gave Langa for a fresh one! Remember to buy pocky for Langa 'cause he's never tried it and he doesn't know I'm gonna use it to kiss him mwahahaha
Langa smiled to himself, curling his warm, warm toes in his sandals. Even now, Reki was still coming up with all these dumb little excuses to kiss him.
Reki came hurrying back to the blanket not long later, sweating and puffing air, blathering on about "water, I need water" until Langa found the bottles of water in their convenience store bags. He hid his own phone under his thigh, so Reki wouldn't see the reminders that Langa had begun to leave for himself, things like assure Reki that he's perfect and check if Reki's conditioner bottle is empty, and even one that read, call Reki baby, although Langa had never needed to be reminded about that one.
"You looked good out there," Langa said, just to see Reki's ears go red, and Reki gulped down the water even faster, crushing the water bottle in his fist.
"C'mere," he said, tossing it aside, and he put his sweaty hand on Langa's face and leaned in, kissing him. Langa could feel the heat radiating from his face, and when Reki pulled away, his chest was still heaving, sweat glistening on his upper lip as he rubbed it. "Ah, that hits the spot."
Langa's chest was hot. "What?"
Reki kicked him across the picnic blanket, leaning back on his wrists. "Told you. I was thirsty."
Langa's chest burned again, and he kicked Reki back, rubbing his hands on his shorts. "Stop," he said, and Reki laughed, tipping his head back so the sun shone on his face and his neck, the collar of his shirt sticking to the tan line around his throat. He looked so good that Langa's whole body felt sweaty and stifled, but then Reki nudged their hands together, and Langa only had to swallow once before he managed to tangle their fingers together.
They sat there for a moment, soaking in the sun, before Reki puffed out a breath, reaching for another water bottle. "How'd you find this place, anyway?" he asked, glancing over at Langa, one eye squinted against the light. "It's, like, perfect."
Langa's heart squeezed. "I, um."
Reki paused, watching him, waiting, the corners of his mouth lingering on an almost-smile, like he knew he would like the answer, no matter what it was. So Langa pressed his toes into the blanket, letting their shoulders touch, and admitted,
"I didn't find it until today. I was sort of...improvising."
Reki stared at him for a moment, and then the smile spread over his face, and he punched Langa's shoulder. "Dude. You came up with this on the spot?"
Lange didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, so he just shrugged, and Reki laughed again, leaning closer to him, their shoulders solid and warm pressed together. Langa glanced down at his lap, tugging at a string of his shorts. "I wanted it to be romantic, but I'm not very good at...I mean, I mean it's not as nice as the date you planned. With the carnival, and everything."
"You mean the practice date?" Reki nudged his elbow against Langa's arm, and Langa kicked his ankle, leaving his foot pressed there against the skin.
"It was still romantic," he said. "Even though it was...practice."
"I wanted it to be real," Reki said, as if he was reminiscing, gazing off at the sun shimmering on the water, and Langa felt very warm inside, even though Reki had told him this many, many times before. "Anyway, remember what I told you on the Ferris Wheel? Any date with you is good, 'cause you're the thing that makes them good in the first place."
Langa swallowed. He remembered how big his heart had swelled, high above the world in that tiny Ferris Wheel cart. He had wanted everything to be real so badly, and so had Reki, and now it was, with their legs sprawled across this pretty picnic blanket in the heat of the summer. "You're so sappy," Langa managed, and Reki laughed, pressing even closer to him, his head falling against Langa's shoulder.
"You like it," he said, glancing up, his eyes grinning, and Langa's heart thumped once at the way his irises caught the sun.
"Yeah," he said, because he did like it. The mushy words always made his cheeks flush and his heart glow, and he thought about them at night, whenever he felt nervous or lonely. Sometimes he was still afraid of misunderstanding things, but he had gotten better at checking, sending Reki texts like, does "it's a date" mean I am supposed to wear date clothes? and can I kiss you in the doorway when I come over? The questions flustered Reki sometimes, but he was good about answering, and he was good at explaining things, and Langa was good at nodding along, collecting those words and filing them away into the appropriate places in his brain. His broken, healing brain.
"My date wasn't perfect anyway," Reki mumbled, against his sleeve, kissing him clumsily on the shoulder. "I tried to put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door, but the night didn't work out exactly the way I had planned."
Langa's heartbeat fluttered. "I saw that you did that."
Reki breathed a laugh. "Really? I thought I was being so sneaky."
"You're never as sneaky as you think you are."
Reki laughed again, kissing his shoulder. "That guy made me so mad," he said, squeezing Langa's fingers, and Langa knew he meant Miguel, although Miguel's face was a blur in his mind. "If we ever run into him again, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna jump in front of you and shout at him that you're per—"
"Stop," Langa interrupted hastily, but he could hear Reki's grin as he finished,
"That you're perfect," and then he kissed Langa's jaw, and the skin under his ear, sticky with sweat, and Langa flushed. Reki always teased him about the things he had shouted at those girls at school, but Langa knew it was only because the bullying still hurt him, wounds burrowed deep down under his skin that he often refused to let Langa see. But he always let Langa climb on top of him and shower him with gentle kisses and even gentler praises, whispering into the quiet of his bedroom, and slowly, slowly Reki's heart always cracked open. He was messy and raw and stubborn when he cried, biting on his knuckles to stifle the sound, but he always allowed Langa to kiss the tears away, his hands soothing on Reki's shoulders until Reki slumped against his chest, crying himself exhausted.
They both had bad days, still. Langa sometimes woke up with trembly hands, unable to get warm even under the hottest showers, and he would call Reki and mumble into the phone, "You're not leaving me today, right?" and Reki would always hurry over, bringing snacks and an armful of sweatshirts. And some days Reki paced around his house in frustration, the frayed wires of his brain fizzing, unable to be touched or comforted, and Langa had learned to let him vent his agitation into his work, in the banging and drilling in his garage. Reki always texted him afterward, when he was ready for cuddles, and sometimes Langa was already in his room, his cheek pressed to the warm windowsill as he read through Reki's skating magazines, or out on the street practicing tricks.
They had bad days, but today was a good day, the sky clear and bright, and Reki rubbed Langa's fingers on the blanket, each one of them carefully, tracing the scars on his palms. "Are we going to S tonight?" Langa mumbled, after a while, and Reki hummed an affirmative.
"I asked Yua if she wanted to ride over with us," he said, making a face, "but she's going with her girlfriend. "
Langa laughed a little, at the way Reki wrinkled his nose. "Haven't they only been on one date?" he asked.
"Still," said Reki, huffing. "She's abandoning us."
"I think Margot is nice," said Langa. Yua's "girlfriend" was a German transfer student at the local all-girls school, and her presence at S made Langa feel less alone, somehow, in the sea of people who had grown up in Okinawa. The more they hung out with people, the more Langa realized how nice it was to have friends, a whole circle of friends. "Can't we just do things all together?"
Reki huffed again, tugging on Langa's palm, dragging their hands up into his lap. "Did I hear that right? From Langa I don't like people Hasegawa? I should've known you'd rather hang out with girls than me."
"Stop," said Langa, turning his head to nuzzle against the side of Reki's head, pressing a kiss to his temple, his mouth curving into a smile at the way Reki shifted closer to him, their feet bumping together on the warm blanket. "You know you're my favorite."
"Mm," mumbled Reki, tipping his head up. "Nah, I didn't know. Remind me?"
Langa tried to stifle the smile, his heart squirming happily in his chest, at the openness of Reki's face, his eyes closed, his eyelashes sticking out at funny angles, a trusting softness around his mouth. Langa fumbled to fit their faces together, his hands warm on Reki's face as he kissed him. He pulled away a little to whisper, "My love," and Reki let out a breath, his mouth parting, and Langa hummed a little, rubbing his thumb along Reki's bottom lip.
"Kiss," Reki mumbled, without opening his eyes, and Langa felt the laugh bubble up in his chest as he leaned in again, pressing their mouths together again. Reki tasted like sweat and cherry slushie, and his hand found the side of Langa's face, tender and warm as he cupped his jaw, and Langa breathed out, something thrilling in his chest as Reki licked at the edges of his mouth. The more often they kissed, the more Reki remembered the things Langa liked: his fingers against the sensitive skin of Langa's jaw, cradling his face, his tongue tracing the roof of Langa's mouth, hot and clumsy, his voice raspy when he pulled away to whisper, "Love you, baby," just to hear Langa's broken whimper.
Maybe somewhere Reki had another list of reminders, one kept hidden from the world. The thought made Langa pant into his mouth.
He shifted closer to Reki on the blanket, grabbing onto the sleeves of his t-shirt, and Reki welcomed him, one of his hands sliding up into Langa's hair to tilt his head. Langa's glasses bumped against Reki's nose, and Reki laughed against him, kissing the corner of Langa's lips before fumbling to pull the glasses off, tossing them onto a safe part of the blanket. "So pretty, Langa," he whispered, pecking his mouth before pulling away again, and Langa swallowed a whine, because he wanted to kiss, he wanted to kiss until they were lying flat on the blanket, breathless and drowning in each other.
"You're pretty," he managed, and Reki hummed in his throat, sounding embarrassed, and he pecked at Langa's mouth again, barely touching his tongue to Langa's lips before pulling away, and Langa panted, clutching at his sleeves. He could feel Reki's breathing against him, their skin tingling in every place they touched, and he wanted Reki to kiss him again, he wanted Reki to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him. His breath stuttered when Reki puffed air against his lips, tugging his hair, and desperately he tried to find words in his scattered mind to ask for more.
"You're sure you don't get tired of this?" Reki mumbled, nudging their noses together, and Langa's chest thumped as he tried to catch his breath, but he couldn't, he couldn't because he could still feel the movement of Reki's lips, so warm breathing against him, so close to touching him, so close. Reki's mouth ghosted over his own, barely brushing his lips as he mumbled, "You don't get tired of how much I like kissing you?"
Langa nearly groaned, squeezing his upper arms. " Reki. "
"Yeah?"
Langa sucked in a breath, his face going hot at the way that Reki shifted closer to him, their legs pressing together, and then he breathed out, "Are you crazy?"
Reki laughed, leaning in closer to press their mouths together, and Langa's heart thumped in relief, pounding in his flushed cheeks . "Mm," Reki mumbled against him, using his tongue to open Langa's mouth, leaving Langa panting again, "Maybe a little crazy. When it comes to you."
Langa could only whimper, melting against him as Reki kissed him so good, so sweet, his tongue hot against Langa's teeth, their noses bumping together. Reki's hands were in his hair again, messing it up, unraveling the hair tie Langa had used this morning until his hair fell around his shoulders, and Langa squeezed at his arms, trying to kiss back as best as he could. He sucked on Reki's bottom lip until Reki was making noise in his throat, so much noise that Langa flushed hot even in their secluded place under the trees.
They fell apart, gasping for air, and then found each other again, toppling sideways onto the blanket until they were lying on the lumpy ground, surrounded by empty food containers and grass clippings and Reki's skateboard. Reki's mouth was even sweeter this way, Langa thought in his hazy, blurry brain, out in the warm summer air with bugs buzzing around the flowers, where they belonged. He was whispering something against Langa's lips as he kissed him, and Langa tried to focus, enough to catch glimpses of, "the coolest," and "so pretty for me," and "m'so lucky" and so many other praises that made Langa's head swim. He cupped Reki's face with his hands, both of them on Reki's flushed cheeks, whispering back,
"Baby, baby,"
until Reki whined into his mouth, shifting even closer, tangling one of his hands in Langa's t-shirt and tugging. "I like that," he mumbled, and Langa's body thrilled all over, wiggling a little because he couldn't help himself, he loved Reki so much.
"My baby," he whispered, and then, "My love," and Reki's breathing was coming so quickly that Langa laughed, his chest squirming with joy, kissing Reki's beautiful red cheeks and his forehead and his dimples and even his eyelids, the pale skin of his eyelids where he had always wanted to kiss. "You're so perfect," he said, "Reki, my Reki, you know that I love everything about you, right?" Reki choked on a noise, and he tried to kiss Langa's mouth again, his face hot, and Langa kissed back, but only for a minute, because his heart was brimming with words, so many words he wanted to share, so many things he loved about Reki. "Your smile," he whispered, the moment Reki pulled away again, to catch his breath, "I love your smile, and those tan lines on your feet from your flip-flops, and the way you bring your board everywhere, and the way you roll your sleeves up even when they're short sleeves, and I love when you kiss me, did you know that? I love it more than anything, and," and Reki made another noise, covering his mouth, and Langa was laughing, then, cuddling closer to him, pressing their foreheads together.
"You," Reki managed, and Langa kissed the knuckles he had pressed to his mouth, laughing again, because oh he felt so warm inside, warm and full and loved.
"You don't have to be embarrassed," he whispered. "It's just the truth."
"I'm not embarrassed," Reki muttered, pulling his hand away from his mouth, kissing Langa again, and they kissed until they were breathless, falling apart and staring at each other with heaving chests. Langa watched the blotchy blush on Reki's face as he breathed in and out, his hair in disarray, tangled around his headband. Carefully Langa rubbed his thumb over Reki's nose and eyebrows, until Reki made a face, sticking out his tongue and licking Langa's hand.
Langa jerked away, the laugh bubbling up in his chest again. "Gross."
"You like it when my tongue's in your mouth," Reki muttered, and Langa flushed, laughing, kissing his nose. Reki kissed his nose, too, and then his chin, and then they both rolled onto their back, breathing up at the sky, still touching in so many places that Langa could feel Reki's thrumming heartbeat, in sync with his own.
He could have laid there forever, breathing in the vibrance of the summer day, the sky bright between the fluttering trees, the sweat rolling down their legs, damp against the picnic blanket, clinging to each other's hands. But then Reki cleared his throat and rubbed at his mouth, turning his head on the blanket to Langa, and asked, "You wanna sit in my lap?"
Langa felt his neck go warm. This was something Reki had been asking more and more lately, mostly when he knew Langa was feeling troubled over something, but sometimes just because it felt nice, the safety of sitting snug against each other. "Okay," he said, and clumsily they untangled their legs and sat up, shifting around on the blanket, pushing Reki's board out of the way. Langa settled between Reki's thighs, his back pressed to Reki's chest, and breathed out long and slow as Reki wrapped his arms around his waist, holding him tight.
"Good?" Reki mumbled, hooking his chin over Langa's shoulder, and Langa nodded, sighing again, relaxing into him. He could see Reki's feet stretched out on the blanket alongside his legs, his toes flexing around the funny sandal tan lines that Langa loved so much, the sweaty hair thick around his ankles. Reki gave a happy sort of sigh, too, kissing his neck lazily. "Feels good for me, too."
"I'm glad," Langa murmured, nuzzling closer, and he knew they were being silly and mushy but he didn't care, because his body was glowing, a quiet, steady glow that he only felt around Reki, whether they were tangled up together like this, or collapsed on top of the half-pipe with bruised elbows, or racing down the street with lungs burning too much to laugh. He tilted his head and kissed the skin under Reki's eye, the first place he could reach, and Reki hummed, satisfied.
"Do you wanna get ramen on the way home?" he asked, squeezing his thighs around Langa. "It's my ideal date, y'know. We go skating somewhere pretty, 'n I kiss you, and then we get ramen and eat until we're exhausted."
Langa felt all fuzzy inside, his hands curling around Reki's. "Really?"
"Uh-huh." Reki pressed his mouth to Langa's cheek, barely even a kiss, more of a hum. "I told you about it the first time we kissed. But you never took the hint."
Langa was surprised into laughing, tilting his eyes to look at Reki. "The first time?" he asked, and Reki nodded, his face a little red, his hands twitching around Langa's waist before relaxing again, and Langa could feel himself smile until his cheeks hurt. "The first time," he repeated, more softly, because oh, he had loved Reki since that very first day, and maybe a similar flame had been kindling in Reki's chest, too, and gently Langa kissed him, on his beautiful, sweet mouth, and Reki kissed him back, their bodies pressed close.
Langa was happy. They loved each other, and today Langa loved the world, too, the way Reki always did, with his big heart and his excitable energy and his passionate rambling, his love for exploring new places, for skateboarding down every side street, petting every single dog they saw, painting ordinary things in bright, vibrant colors that brought the earth to life before Langa's eyes. A part of Langa had always been reluctant toward the world, shying away from the blurring sounds and the loud voices, and maybe a part of him always would be, but today the world was peaceful and warm and lovable, and Langa would cherish the feeling in his heart forever and ever.
"I've been thinking about something lately," Reki mumbled against him, and Langa relaxed deeper into him, humming a yeah? Reki tightened his hands around Langa's waist again, smoothing down the shirt, before saying softly, "I was thinking, like, maybe after we graduate we could get our own place together? I know...I know it's early, I mean, you don't have to agree right away, but I was just thinking it'd be nice, to wake up to you every day n' stuff." He cracked his eyes open, glancing up at Langa. "What d'you think?"
Langa swallowed, but he couldn't swallow down the smile growing on his face, his chest beginning to swell with the thought of living together with Reki, washing their clothes together in a big jumble, so they smelled like each other all the time. They could share a bathroom cluttered with Reki's eyeliner and Langa's acne medicine, and a fridge stuffed full of food they would both be awful at cooking, and together they could curl up on the couch each night under soft blankets, tangling their feet together and watching silly shopping-cart YouTube videos. "I want to," he said, and Reki's face scrunched up, his cheeks very warm against Langa's skin.
"Wanna live with you forever and ever," he mumbled, and then puffed out a breath, half a laugh. "Hah. Sorry. Is that too much?"
Langa's heart was very full. "No," he whispered back. "I'm the same." Reki made a soft noise, and Langa tilted his face so they could kiss again, feeling the life thrumming through Reki's warm body, his constantly-vibrating body, the heartbeat that Langa wanted to fall asleep to for the rest of his life. Reki could never be too much for him, he thought, because Langa loved every part of him, his endless rambling conversations, his bold kisses, his overwhelming blush in the darkness. Langa kissed him until he couldn't kiss him any longer, and then, when they fell apart, he whispered against Reki's lips, "We're the same."