- tiny s/h mention but not much.
- its one (1) AM and im tired, if there is grammatical errors please tell me.
Jisung looked at Minhos monitor, which was making a loud sound.
His eyes widened in pure fear when he realized the line was flat.
He felt for a pulse or a heartbeat anywhere while viciously pressing the red button to call the nurses and a doctor to the room.
When they got there, they had to forcefully pull Jisung out of the room as they tried to get Minho breathing again.
Jisungs anxiety skyrocketed as his breathing got heavy and he started sweating, gasping for air. He was starting to feel claustrophobic as he looked around him in all directions.
Not soon enough, a doctor came out, looking at the clipboard in her hands before looking back up at Jisung.
"Mr. Han.." She started, and Jisung looked at her, scared for the answer but also hopeful.
"...I'm sorry. There was nothing we could do.. I'm deeply sorry for your loss," she stated in an apologetic manner.
Jisung felt his whole world come crashing down as he slowly fell to his knees and stared at the floor before slowly tearing up. He curled into himself and cried into his knees as hard as he could.
Losing Minho was the last thing he wanted.
─⊹⊱☆⊰⊹─
Jisung woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily as he looked around at his surroundings.
He looked to his left and saw Minho sleeping peacefully, huffing out a breath.
He slowly reached his hand up and gently felt for a pulse, making sure he didnt wake the (hopefully) sleeping boy up. He let out a huge (yet quiet) sigh of relief, realizing Minho was breathing and it was just another nightmare.
--next day--
Minho had been home for a few weeks now and has shown no signs of being unhealthy in any way.
Jisung has been making sure he ate when he needed to, drank when he needed to, everything.
But that didnt stop him from having nightmares and panic attacks in the middle of the night.
He had them almost every night while Minho was sleeping and although he knew Minho was healthy, he couldn't stop it. He couldnt get any sleep still and Minho was starting to notice the dark bags under his eyes and his constantly tired state.
Why hadnt Minho mentioned it?
Of course he didnt know about the panic attacks and what not, Jisung didnt want to wake him up for, as he'd say, "such a stupid reason."
Even now, the couple was currently laying on their bed, watching a movie when suddenly Minho yawned, causing Jisung to do so too.
Minho was determined to fake sleep tonight to figure out what was wrong with his boyfriend.
He pretended that he fell asleep and since he was faced away from the younger, the boy cuddling him from behind, he thought it was the perfect opportunity.
After a while, Jisung had fallen asleep behind him and Minho patiently waited for something to happen.
Another while later, Jisung started moving around. This confused Minho as he quickly closed his eyes, just in case. The boy removed his arms from the elder and sat up, breathing heavily.
Minho heard what sounded like crying come from the younger - and more heavy breathing - before he was gently turned to lay on his back. Jisung put a hand on his chest, feeling for his heartbeat before he moved to feel it from his wrist too.
The elder heard a huge sigh of relief before Jisung adjusted the blanket to make sure he was fully covered and warm, Minho instinctively burying himself in it. Jisung leaned in and kissed his cheek before getting up to exit because his crying hadn't stopped.
He felt like he was suffocating again as he gasped for air and left the room in case he got too loud and accidentally woke Minho.
Minho, being the awake guy he is, carefully and silently followed, seeing Jisung in the living room. He was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, as if regretting things.
Jisung made a whining noise before crying more.
He was disappointed in his brain for making him have nightmares. He was disappointed in his body for being effected by them.
Mostly, he was disappointed in himself in general because he still felt like he was the one to blame for Minho being hospitalized; he was the one to blame for Minho not waking up for two months.
He, was not okay.
Minho watched as the boy took his hoodie off and kept his hands in front of his face to scan how badly he was shaking, the elders eyes widening when he saw that he had even more marks on his skin.
Jisung cried and mumbled words to himself before getting up and going to the kitchen.
He got a glass of cold water and drank most before pouring the rest on himself - he was becoming unbearably hot, hence the removal of his hoodie.
He closed his eyes and stood there for a bit longer before grabbing his hoodie and putting it back on. He must've been trying to cool down.
Jisung went towards the hall Minho was standing in and the elder quickly and quietly (well, as quiet as he could be) ran back to the room, hoping Jisung didn't notice.
By the time the younger returned to the room, Minho was already covered with the blanket and laid on his side.
Jisung slowly went to the bed and went behind Minho, wrapping his arms securely around his waist and bringing him as close as possible.
"You suck at pretending to sleep," he mumbled, his severely raspy voice startling Minho. It was rougher than normal. "Why are you awake Min?" He asked, gently turning Minho to face him.
The boy gave up on pretending and opened his eyes to gaze up at his boyfriend with a pout.
"Why are you awake Sung?" He huffed in retaliation.
"Nightmare; what's your excuse?"
Minho paused, giggling awkwardly.
He didnt expect the younger to be so..
Straightforward.
"I-I.. I was worried about you," he whispered.
"Worried? What's to worry about?"
"You!" He squeaked, careful to not be too loud, "you're not getting sleep, you're having nightmares, you're still having panic attacks in your sleep, and then your arms, Jisung!"
Jisung froze, his mouth now agape after the last statement as Minho said all of it with worry definitely evident in his tone.
"And dont even try to deny that you hurt yourself, I've witnessed it myself."
"Y-You what-"
"I woke up at least 3 times that day," he admitted, "you were sleeping the first time and Chan told me not to wake you, so I didnt. When you started having a nightmare, he told me to pretend to be asleep and I heard the whole conversation until you left. Chan told me I had to pretend because if I didn't, I wouldnt know anything about what's going on right now because you would pretend to be perfectly fine and unbothered - which, mind you, is clearly true."
Minho sighed, averting his gaze, "I closed my eyes and it just so happened that that's when you came back with a coffee. I learned about the stutter, heard the whole little space story and when you fell asleep, i.." He looked back up at him, "your hoodie sleeve fell and i saw it. A-and then later, I woke up again and i was faced towards that little mirror so i squinted and watched you go to the bathroom - uh, that sounds weird -."
He shook his head, "anyways, I watched you go in there and wash your hands, stare at yourself - uh, and then fall to the ground crying.. I saw you roll up your sleeves, and c-cut," he whimpered. "And I wanted to help so bad, but I physically couldnt so I laid there, and i cried."
"Th-thats why you had tears on your face?" He asked, feeling bad that he made Minho cry when the elder nodded.
"It h-hurts to see you suffering in silence, Jisung.."
Minho was on the verge of sobbing, anyone could tell by how his words came out weird and sometimes high pitched, or his voice cracked since he was trying to hold his tears back. "Fucki-ng hurts like h-hell."
A few tears escaped his eyes as he held eye contact with the younger the best he could, "I heard you talk to Felix, I heard you talk to the nurse, I h-heard.. heard you apologize and blame yourself when none of it is your fault at all.. Please, you need believe th-that."
His voice cracked yet again as Jisung just stared down at him blankly, since Minho was lower on the bed so he could snuggle better.
Jisung stared in complete silence and Minho started regretting his words.
He stared at the younger for a few more seconds to see if the boy was going to say anything but when he didnt, he sat up and sighed, wiping his tears as he sniffled and looked away.
"I-I know I should've told you what was going on with me but I just- I-I wasnt ready, I was trying to sort things out on my own and- and I'll tell you soon but please talk to me.. Please believe me when I say it had nothing to do with you.."
He looked at the younger with a very pleading look in his eyes as the boy continued to stare back before blinking and nodding slowly.
"Okay. I-I believe you." He cringed and took a deep breath before speaking again, this time slower, "I'm sorry. I'll tell you things that go on but only if you promise you'll do the same. No secrets." Minho nodded. "Alright. C'mere baby.."
Minho laid back down as Jisung wrapped his arms securely around his waist. The elder laid on his stomach, on top of the younger, with his head buried in his chest - he looked like a koala. He pulled the big blanket over them and went to lean back down, but Jisung stopped him half way.
The elder gave him a confused glance.
Jisung only smiled up at him and connected their lips, humming appreciatively when the elder kissed back, melting in his arms.
The younger slowly pushed his tongue past Minhos lips and the two lazily made out, though it was a loving kiss. One they hadn't shared in quite a while with Jisungs hands going down to the backs of the elders thighs.
He scooted (?) Minho upwards a little and deepened the kiss, the elder humming in response. The two parted after a while for air, Jisung hugging the other tightly as Minho groaned but smiled.
"I love you hyung."
Minho snuggled into the boys chest and hugged him back, giggling.
"I love you too Sungie."
With that, the two pecked each others lips before going to sleep.
i know i said no more falling asleep in each others arms or id d word but its whatever really. ill try to figure out a different ending.
also, sorry this is kinda late. i was busy debating on some message things and was about to fall asleep before i remembered what day it was. i was busy all day, so.
anyway happy seungmin day / belated seungmin day (( depending on when you read this ))
honestly i cried when i wrote this chapter for the first time but i revised it so much it doesnt bother me anymore uhh