For the first time in ages I felt like writing, I'm sorry to keep you waiting! Also I apologize for any errors, I'm just too tired to go through it but I don't want to keep you waiting any longer.
Rant at the end of the chapter, read if you like, but honestly you might want to skip it.
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"Ouch! That hurts!"
"Good!"
"Ouch!! Miss Grimshaw! You're killing me!"
"Nothing different from what you try to achieve every day young lady! Riding around with the men, stealing things!"
"Well it pay- okay okay okay, that's enough! I'm still supposed to breath!"
"Rich women don't! now stand straight, stop slouching!"
Arthur Morgan chuckled quietly to himself as he stood waiting outside the door to Blue's hotel room. For the past fifteen minutes the two women inside had been arguing loudly, none of them willing to stand down.
It was an important day for the gang, Dutch had managed to get himself and Blue into a fancy party, under the disguise of a wealthy bank owner and his young daughter. Dutch had no problem dressing up but Blue was more than annoyed at the prospect of being squeezed into a frilly dress. Most of all she was angry about the corset, arguing that she didn't need one, Miss Grimshaw, however, told her that it would be too obvious if she didn't wear one. In the end Dutch had agreed with the older woman and Blue had no choice but to do what she was told. Her loss didn't keep her from complaining though.
The minutes ticked by and Arthur was staring to wonder how long they would take. Just when he was about to knock on the green door, it opened up and the two women pushed by him, both fuming with ager. None of them even looked at him, too busy ignoring one another. He hurried after them through the hallways and down the rickety stairs.
Outside was the fancy looking wagon Bill and Sean had stolen last month, with a fine pair of brown mares at the front. Dutch was already inside waiting for Blue. Arthur went to help his daughter inside, gently telling her how beautiful she looked in the powdery blue dress, but was promptly ignored, causing him to wonder if HE had done something wrong, if he had, he couldn't remember what it was.
Dusting of some dirt from his black suit, Arthur climbed up behind the horses and got them moving, they had a long ride ahead of them, not wanting anyone at the party to see the shabby hotel they came from.
***
"What a delightful daughter you have Mr. Smith, such a beauty, and so well mannered!" the ruddy woman next to Blue gushed out, not for the first time, nor, she suspected, the last.
"She got it from her mother, though I assure you, she has a mischievous side too, stays up reading all night long and rides her horse much too fast!" Dutch winked at the lady, and everyone in the little group laughs politely. Blue's cheeks were aflame in embarrassment from all the attention.
"Oh she's young, we've all been there, once she finds herself a nice respectable young man she'll settle down fine, just you wait and see." Blue tried to not look too disgusted at the thought of marrying one of the young men at the gathering, enough of them had stared at her and kissed her hand for her to hate them all equally.
"That reminds me" the woman continued "have you met my son? Henry, Henry dear come over here." She waved down a tall skinny boy as he was making his way to the other side of the room with his friends. To Blue's horror they all decided to come over, crowding around them seeking out her attention. She pushed a little closer to Dutch's side and awkwardly smiled at the four newcomers, looking at them through her lashes.
"Do introduce us mother:" Henry said in a posh voice, she had to fight to not giggle at the pathetic attempt of a mustache that was clinging on to his lip. Blue had a hard time seeing the similarities between the plump, jolly woman and the stick-thing, up-tight youth in front of her.
"Henry, this is Thomas Smith and his lovely daughter Alice." The woman pushed Blue towards her son and his three grinning friends.
"Pleasure to meet you." She managed to smile in a way she hoped was girlish enough to cover her reluctance to be near him.
"Believe me, pleasure's all mine." He said, snatching her hand and kissing the white glove "this" he continued "Is Alexander Willson" he motioned to a handsome brunet with icy blue eyes, "his brother Isaac" a shorter but equally handsome man stepped forward smiling childishly "and Connor Mc Alister." Connor did not look like a nice man at all, she supposed he was handsome enough but the way he looked at her, and the other young women, made her shiver. His grey, stormy eyes reminded her of Anthony's, the way they seemed to see right through her clothes.
They all expressed their supposed joy at meeting and it was with a quiet sigh of relief that Blue stepped back to the relative safety that was Dutch van der Linde, or Thomas Smith as he was called at the moment.
Conversation erupted around her as the young men started inquiring about his job as a bank owner. Mostly Blue just smiled and answered when spoken to. People eventually started excusing themselves from their small group to find someone else to converse with.
"Alice, would you join us in meeting with our friends in the garden? I'm positive Lizzy and Sara would be delighted!" I was Isaac who asked, he was by far the most pleasant of the boys, his round face always graced by a warm smile.
"Oh I don't want to impo-" she started, but was quickly interrupted by Connor "Yes we would all be... delighted." He had a calculating look in his eyes and a sly smirk spread slowly over his face. He offered her his arm and looked at Dutch "May I escort your daughter to our friends Mr. Smith?" Blue sent her companion a pleading look but she knew she needed to go, this was a perfect opportunity for him to do what they came here to do.
"I trust her in your care then young man." There was a grave tone to his voice, very fatherly, and she knew he wouldn't send her with them if he didn't have to.
"I'll keep a close eye on her sir, on my word." With one last glance at Dutch, Blue slipped her arm onto Connor's offered elbow and let him lead her after the other boys, into the cold night air.
***
Blue was beyond uncomfortable. The 'friends' they were talking about tuned out to me more in the line of 'lovers', Henry had a lovely redhead on his lap, giggling a his every word, Alexander had walked further into the maze of the garden with his little blond and most disappointedly Isaac had his tongue down his girlfriend's throat. This all left Blue and Connor standing next to each other, the man talking endlessly about himself and how his father was training him to take over the company and how his uncle was the mayor, all the while discreetly pulling Blue closer to himself by her waist.
He had a glass in his hand and when he was done with it he simply dropped it in the grass like it was nothing, Blue knew that the cost of that glass was enough to feed a family for a week, at least, and his disregard made her loath him even more. With his hand now free he turned more fully towards her, encircling her with both arms. Putting her hands on his chest she kept him as far away as possible without causing a scene.
Ever so slowly Connor's face started sinking towards her own, panic set in and when she heard a distant neighing she jumped at the opportunity to avoid what was about to happen.
"Is there a stable here?" She asked him, slightly startling the young man who obviously had expected her to be exited about the prospect of kissing him.
"Well yes, of course... do you, uh, like horses?" he asked, looking at her with disappointment.
"Yes, I love them, is it far from here?" She hoped maybe he would lose interest in her and point her in the direction and she could leave him and his friends, but of course he wouldn't do that.
"Come, I'll take you." He pulled her forward by the waist, a mischievous smile on his face, Blue realized too late that she might have just made her situation worse.
***
The stables weren't very big but they looked expensive, at least as far as she could tell in the soft light of the oil-lamps on the walls. The familiar smell of horses calmed her down and she was happy to see some of the animals were awake, eagerly awaiting pets and treats. A beautiful golden stallion stood with his head poking out of his box, Blue immediately felt drawn to him and when he greeted her with a kiss to the cheek she couldn't help but laugh. She abruptly stopped as a pair of hands settled on her hips and warm breath fanned across her neck, the smell of alcohol stinging her nose.
"You have a beautiful laugh Alice, anyone ever tell you that?" Even though all the layers of fabric she could feel Connor's thumbs rubbing circles on her hips as he pressed closer. Was this how rich boy acted? So much for 'nice respectable young man'.
"You're shivering my dear, are you cold?" there was a suggestive tone in his voice, she thought he probably wished the shivering was from pleasure of his closeness.
"Yes, I'm really quite cold, I-I should probably get inside." Gently she pried his fingers away and turned around, only for him to catch her arm and bringing her back close again.
"No, wait here and I'll get your cloak, maybe I'll get a reward when I come back." He winked at her before leaving the stables with a brisk step.
"Or maybe I'll kick you in the balls and watch you squirm on the floor in pain..." Blue mumbled as soon as he was out of sight.
"I'd like to see that" Blue squealed and spun around coming face to face, or rather face to chest with an unknown man. Too shocked to talk she stared up into a square, kind face with deep brown eyes, a light stubble that lay across his jaw, only parted by a white scar running over the right side, all of it framed with a halo of dark soft curls. "I really would, sorry if I scared you." His voice was deep and rumbling, vibrating through the air, all she could think of what that he reminded her of a bear.
"Bear?" One of his strong eyebrows arched up, a look of confusion on his face.
"W-what?" she stumbled over the letters.
"Bear, you said bear."
"No I didn't!" had she really said it out loud?
"Yes you did, just now you looked at me and said Bear."
"You're imagining things!" Blue felt her skin heating up and didn't even want to know how red her cheeks were. The young man let out a deep chuckle that made butterflies erupt wildly in her stomach.
"If you say so Miss." He smiled down at her with a pleasant and inviting smile. Suddenly aware of how close she was standing, Blue took a quick step backwards and stared into the ground like it was the most interesting thing she'd ever seen.
"Lucas likes you."
"Lucas?" he motioned towards the horse she'd been petting and she realized he must have been there when Connor and her came into the stable, meaning he'd seen all of it.
"It-it's a majestic horse." She watched the man walk over to the animal and after a moments hesitation followed him.
"I'm Julian, you?"
Without thinking she answered "Blue" quickly picking up on her mistake she said "Alice!" Julian laughed.
"Blue Alice?"
"Heh no... no just..." she had to keep her cover "Alice..."
"Do you say random words out loud often Alice? Bear, blue?"
"Apparently today I do..." she mumbled, eyes following his big hands as they gently stroked the animals muzzle.
"I'm so-"
"Get away from her you brute! You're not suppose to talk to the guests!" Connor strode into the stable, her coat clutched in his fist, pushing Julian away he got in between the two of them, scaring Lucas in the process.
Blue stumbled backwards, catching herself just in time to not fall onto the floor.
"Connor what are-"
"I should have never left you here alone, the son of a whore was bound to try his hand on you!" By now he had dropped her cloak to the ground, he stood there puffing out his chest like a rooster, ready to fight.
"No, wait, he didn't-" again he didn't let her finish, "Be quiet woman," he hissed, staring at Julian with obvious hatred "and you, go back to work and leave her alone, she's not of your kind!" There was a slight sway in his stance and Blue guessed he'd had a few more drinks while getting her coat from the house.
Carefully she walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder, hoping to calm him down "He was just being polite, telling me about the horses." She kept he voice gentle, just like when she spoke to Anthony and needed to sooth him. It worked and Connor slipped his arm around her. She thought a catastrophe had been avoided but Connor had to open his stupid mouth one more time.
"Why don't you go and find yourself a whore instead, she might actually like your ugly mug!"
"Haven't seen your mother around lately..." Julian bit back, anger obvious on his face. Connor violently pushed Blue away and this time she didn't catch herself before she went crashing to the cold stone floor. She sat down hard, dress puffing up around her, her breath forced out of her lungs. Sitting there gasping she watched Connor lunge himself towards Julian who dodged him easily. What was going on? What happened? How the hell did she get into this situation?
The two men danced around each other until Connor actually managed to get a hit in, Julian let out an animalistic roar and rammed into the smaller male, shoulder first, with full force, causing them to crash into big shelf full of trophies. The metal cups fell noisily to the ground, but the youths didn't seem to notice as they rolled around on the floor, throwing punches whenever they were free enough.
Blue had no idea what she was supposed to do, break up the fight? Get help? let them fight it out? In the end she didn't have to do anything, the ruckus had brought the attention of other guests who came running, shouting for them to stop fighting.
Well-dressed men and women swarmed into stable. The women stayed far away, staring at the spectacle while the men had their hands full trying to force the two fighters away from one another. Julian ended up elbowing an important looking man in the face and Connor was clawing at Alexander and Isaac as they held him back.
"What's going on here?!" a booming voice broke though the shouts and chatter. A big man came striding over the lawn, it was the mayor, who's party this was. Julian and Connor both stopped resisting immediately, a deathly silence came upon them all. "And what is this?" The mayor motioned towards Blue who was still on the ground "a young lady left in the dirt!?" the women quickly rushed over to get Blue off the ground, cooing over her, dusting off her dress and wrapping shawls around her bare arms.
"Are you okay Miss?" The mayor asked and all she could do was nod. He turned to the young men and again asked what was going on.
"The bastard was trying to get at her!" Connors exclaimed, pointing at Blue where she stood in the circle of women, they all gasped in horror, pushing closer to her, making her feel suffocated.
"Bullshit!" Julian roared "You were the one with your hand all over her, and she didn't exactly seem to like it if you ask me!" Once again Connor tried to lunge towards his opponent, this time he was stopped and pushed back.
"I've heard enough! You!" the mayor turned to Connor "get home, if you weren't my nephew I'd give you to the sheriff! And you" he now turned towards Julian "I told you! Any trouble and you're out!"
"But Sir I-"
"OUT!"
Suddenly Blue realized that she was just standing there doing nothing while an innocent man was being punished for absolutely no reason other than her talking to him.
"No wait, wait" shaking hands off of her she made her way over to the mayor, putting herself between him and Julian "Wait, this was all a misunderstanding! Please don't punish him it was all me, I asked about the horses and he gave me answers, it was all a misunderstanding, you have to believe me!" she was pleading with him, the thought of causing Julian to lose his income weighed heavily on her.
"You have no reason to defend either of them girl, he knew the rules and he broke them, now I know you're shaken so why don't you find your parent and I'll have a chat with them, make sure you come home safe." There was a softness and warmth in his voice, he laid a strong hand on her shoulder and Blue wanted to listen to him so badly.
"No I-I... it really was my fault!" she felt desperate! Why didn't he believe her?
"It's okay Alice, I shouldn't have let his words get to me." Julian mumbled behind her, turning she stared into his eyes, begging him to not give up, if he didn't try too there was no way she could change the mayor's mind. "It's fine, I'll pack my things."
"No!" she took a step towards him as he left but the hand on her shoulder pulled her back.
"Come on Miss, let's find your parents." He swept her away before she could protest, and looking over her shoulder she saw the tall young man disappearing into the dark of the stable.
***
"Don't be upset princess, you created the perfect distraction, I was able to get everything we needed!" Dutch had been trying to cheer her up the entire way back to the hotel, praising her for her 'work', now they were sitting together in his room celebrating the success.
"I caused an innocent person to end up on the street Dutch! He didn't do anything wrong!"
"Ah he'll be fine love, no need to worry. And see it from the bright side, two men fought over you! That's a good story for the future! And it was quite the show from what I heard!" Dutch's word made her blush and she avoided looking at her father.
"They didn't fight over me, they insulted each other and got angry..." she muttered in embarrassment.
"Leave the poor girl alone Dutch, can't you see she's bothered by it!" Miss Grimshaw came to her deafens, putting a protective arm around her shoulders. She and the older woman often argued about things like clothes and chores but at the end of the day Blue knew she would always take care of her when needed, and probably when it wasn't needed too.
"Okay, no need to get angry, maybe we should all get some sleep, we go back to camp in the morning." With that he stood up and opened the door for them. She said goodnight to Dutch, kissing his cheek and left with Grimshaw and Arthur.
"Goodnight child, Arthur" the older woman disappeared down the hallway, not waiting for a response.
"Come on." Her father pulled her close and lead her to the green door that led to where she was to sleep. Blue had her own room, an immense treat for someone living in a camp full of outlaws, but now she didn't feel like she could enjoy it. Arthur noticed her sulking and followed her inside, sitting down heavily on the bead and opening his arms. She curled up next to him, letting her head fall onto his chest where the steady beat of his heart could be heard.
"I feel awful... What if he has to sleep on the street tonight, what if he has nowhere to go..." she felt the familiar feeling of tears threatening to well up.
"Things happens, if he's a good enough man he'll find a way to get though this, he'll find his place in this world." Arthur said, trying to reassure her.
"He shouldn't have to..."
"That's life kid, it's shitty sometimes, you should know that by now." Oh she knew alright, but that didn't mean she felt better about causing pain for someone else.
There was one other thing that was weighing on her, something she didn't know quite how to talk about with her father.
"Papa... if-if he hadn't been there, the other guy, I don't think he had any good intentions." She heard how he stopped breathing for a few seconds.
"What do you mean? Did he... did he do anything?" there was clear anger in his voice, he was trying to conceal it but it was there none the less.
"I found excuses to get him to stop every time, but I don't think it would have worked for much longer." It hadn't clicked until they were already on their way home, that if Julian hadn't been there, there wouldn't have been anyone to help her if Connor decided he was done waiting. Blue was strong and knew how to fight but dressed as she was and having the job to think about, what could she have done?
"If he comes close to you again, and I find the bastard, he'll have more than a broken nose." He didn't say anything more, didn't have to, Blue knew what he meant, you don't mess with the daughter of an outlaw.
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Personal rant:
Okay so I've been gone for a while... I think we can all agree that the past years have been kind of shitty. A lot has changed in my life, I lost my paternal grandfather in April of 2020, maternal grandfather in December of 2020 and paternal grandmother in August 2021. It's been really hard to cope with and then when I was trying to come back form all of that I find out that my aunt has been talking shit about my family with so many people and spread rumors that we never talked to my paternal grandparents and that we didn't care at all.
This fucking broke me, I've stood up for her so many times when people have accused her of stealing money from my grandmother or manipulating others, and then she throws this in my face. Then I find out that she's sweet talked my grandmother into practically giving away their summerhouse to my cousins father (my grandmother said she didn't want anyone in the family to have it because she didn't want anyone to get hurt for not getting it) meaning that it basically belongs to my cousin now and the rest of us has lost a huge part of our childhood.
I was so hurt by the things she said and that she went behind our backs that I didn't know what to do with myself. Then at the funeral she acts like nothing happens and I don't know what to do. A part of me wants to cut her out of my life completely, she can sit in her stupid house and feel sad for herself as long as she stays away from me. But then at the same time I feel like a horrible person for excluding my own aunt and godmother (not that she ever showed any sign of caring about that...).
Anyways, all of this has gotten me into a bad place and my writing has suffered from it. I'm sorry it had to affect you guys, you all mean so much to me and it makes me smile every time I see that you've voted, commented or added Freak to a reading list. I'm not going to promise regular updates because I don't want to lie to you, but the fact that I felt like writing today is a good sign.
Thank you for everything, I hope you know how much it means to me.
Love, Linnéa