Azula was 8 when she lost her mother and cousin, and with how she recovered she may have well let is go.
Her uncle may as well be dead, considering he was out exploring something, or so her father said.
Her heart felt heavy when she thought of any of them, with and emotion she couldn't place, and she she figured it was just normal. She thought of them late at night when Father couldn't yell at her for going blank as she called it. When she went blank her mind was practically empty or containing only fragments of thoughts, whether that be fleeting imagines or broken sentences.
Usually it was very simple to bring herself back, but at times it took minutes to even make sense of what she saw. The proof of not bring herself back fast enough to please her fathers expectations in bending burned and blistered on Azula's upper arms.
Ty lee and Mai never said anything in the blanks, just kept playing, perhaps thinking Azula was thinking. Her just not paying attention to them, which wouldn't have been surprising.
When Azula thought about it, she remembered her mother sitting motionlessly at the pond, and perhaps her mother blanked as well.
Despite not knowing the correct term for her blanking, Azula got the sense most people likely didn't do the same as her. Although she had caught her older brother curled up with tear tracks down his face while blankly staring at a wall. When Zuko got like this he usually tried to hide so Azula found him in many spots.
During the day Azula worked on her bending, already on the advanced sets. The teachers whispered about how she was a prodigy, and it filled her with pride.
Zuko took to learning about swords and how to use them, trying to get their fathers praise for excelling in something.
Ozai saw this as an opportunity to send him away to Sword Master Piandao under the guise of wanting to help him grow.
Zuko was ecstatic for the opportunity to learn more. And to beat Azula in something as she didn't want to do swords. Even if she had wanted to she wouldn't take that away from Zuko.
Azula saw through Ozais caring guise and knew he just wanted his 'failure' of a son out of the way. More time to teach Azula meant less time for her to become a master.
In the year he was gone Azula had learned how to grow her fire hotter than her fathers. It grew to was blue color, showing the power behind it.
Her teachers had taught her about lighting bending as well, but she couldn't quite do it yet. She knew how because they went quite deep ito it, but was still in the process of learning.
Her days were long and hard, and without Zuko to talk to or to tease there wasn't much she could do in her free time. Most of her free time was spent trying to make shapes with her fire, like the performers for festivals.
Ozai saw the festivals as a waste of time, and the performers as wasted use of firebending and thus had stopped letting the kids visit the festivals.
The turtleducks were being cared for by Azula as well, despite the fact she didn't care much for the small things.
She read up on the agni kai rules, as per her fathers request.
They stated:
If a person forfeits they cannot be counted as a participant in the duel, and as such cannot have fire turned upon them
Persons under the age of 16 cannot be challenged or challenge those above the previously stated age, and those under 10 cannot participate at all
Persons who fight against a turned back after they have lost shows no signs of honor, and disgrace Agni's name.
Persons who use Agni's name as a sole attempt to harm someone and not as a fair fight disgrace their own fire
Persons may use any item they wish in an Agni Kai
Challenging those who do not serve under Agni is unallowed
And many more, but she made sure to remember the less remembered ones, as to make sure people could not trick her and make her look bad.
Father quizzed her upon the more known ones, and seemed to not care for the lesser ones.
"'Zula!" Azula turned a smile on her face. She knew the voice although deeper.
"Zuzu," Azula greeted back, as she opened her arms. They were now full of 11 year old boy.
"You're not much taller than me, better speed up or you'll be shorter soon," She teased. Zuko pouted and stood up straighter of just to prove the 3 inches he had on her.
"One day I'll be so tall you'll have to stan on you tippy toes just to see my stomach."
"Sure." Sarcasm laced her voice.
And that was that before Ozai came to greet his children. He was disappointed Zuko had finished so fast, despite the fact he should be proud of how Zuko had mastered in such a short time.
Ozai had always done his best at keeping the two children far apart from each other, wanting Azula to do nothing other than obey him and be the best bender, besides himself of course.
Another reason for his planned separation of the two was because he believed Zuko would taint Azula with his inferior skill, and emotions.
Ozai wanted nothing more than a weapon to do his bidding, with no emotions to get in the way. Emotions make a bad leader in his book, as they tend to want to make everyone happy instead of becoming a ruler.
But seeing his children interact felt like a punch to the gut, as it was becoming clearer than ever that his plan was failing. Azula obviously cared for her younger brother even when given the motivation to hate or even just dislike him.
Ozai felt his fist clench and his face twist before pushing his anger down, and began to make plans to have his perfect weapon. What better way to separate sibling than to pit them against each other, or more accurately to make one hate the other.
And so the following months he make small remarks, saying that Azula was doing better at this than Zuko was, or that Azula did more than her brother.
Azula knew what Ozai was trying to accomplish, and felt her fire threaten to burst from her hands at every small comment he made, wanting nothing more than to blast flames at Ozai and go on a rant about how Zuko was better than Ozai in most ways.
Zuko had began to smile less, loose focus more frequently for longer, and skip training, which resulted in more comments from Ozai. Azula knew it was a matter of time before he stopped trying altogether and knew she had to put a stop to her fathers plan.
They next comment Ozai made had caused Zuko to abruptly leave the room, and Azula followed ignoring her fathers calls for her to return.
"Hey, Zuzu wanna know something?"
"What is it?" Zuko question, although he kept walking away. Azula quickly closed the distance, wich caused Zuko to look at her and quickly look away grumbling.
"Dad's only doing this because he needs to make sure his crown child doesn't get to worked up in their feeling," Azula lied.
Zuko looked back as his eyes widened and then he nodded eyes lighting up, believing every word from Azula mouth.
To him it seemed obvious now, because why would his own dad want to put down the crowned prince?
Didn't make any sense to Zuko, who still believed Ozai loved him.
From then every comment Ozai made was responded with Zuko agreeing readily to him.
This confused Ozai, as he could not see why anyone would be fine not being the best.
Azula just smiled at her fathers failed plan, vowing to never let anything go between her and her brother. After all Ursa had left, hoping her children would be kind to not just each other but to others as well. Azula was not planning on letting her mother down once again.
Ozai grew frustrated with the lack of proper, in his mind, response from Zuko and dropped the plan as it wasn't working obviously.
Zuko took this as he passed the test, and felt a warmth in his chest.
2 more years past with Ozai trying, and failing, to separate the sibling and they just grew closer.
Their uncle had returned in those two years and helped teach Azula lighting bending, which she mastered. Iroh didn't praise her as he Zuko. She didn't like that fact but didn't care at the same time.
There was countless meeting her and Zuko had tried to sneak into, never succeeding, but once Zuko had convinced Iroh to let him join one.
Afterwards Zuko found Azula and gave her a rundown of what had happened.
Azula felt something off and went to Ozai.
"Father, Zuko has said that he is to be challenged to an Agni Kai, is this true?" Azula asked, with a weight settling in her stomach when Ozai smiled.
"Yes, and it is to be with me," Ozais smile grew, and Azula knew something wasn't right.
"But it is against the rules," She began to try and explain. Ozai simply shushed and pushed her out of the room. The weight grew.
Azula had attempted to tell her brother, but he would bot listen claiming he needed to prepare.
When her father walked onto the platform which Zuko was residing upon she winced and felt her fire want to run rampant.
Zuko turned and his eyes grew wide, and his face turned 5 shades whiter. He knelt and begged for forgiveness, saying it was not Ozai he meant to insult and disrespect. Zuko claimed to be Ozai's loyal son.
Zuko's pleas fell of deaf ears and Ozai cupped Zuko's face and lit it on fire.
Azula went to just and fight her father, if only to stop her brothers horrible screams, but Iroh held her back. She turned and tried to summon her fire to get him to let her go, but by then Ozai had let go of and unconscious Zuko.
Azula felt tears fill her eyes and blur her vision. She kept fighting like a caged animal, and Iroh saw no choice but to knock her out.
Azula's last thought before she fell into darkness was I'm going to kill him.
Azula was 11 when she almost lost her brother, and she wasn't letting it go.