If teardrops could be bottled
There'd be swimming pools filled by models
Told a tight dress is what makes you a whore
- idontwannabeyouanymore, Billie Eilish
August 4th 2008
Stark Mansion, Malibu
Sometime in the early morning, I manage to find a cab to drop me off at home. It's pitch-black and I wander down the long driveway slow as I possibly can. There are a few lights on in the house and Pepper's car is parked at the front. I don't fancy talking to her right now, so I walk around the side to the entrance to Dad's workshop.
I don't really care if he's in. He's probably the only person who can make me feel any better right now.
When I get inside, he's not there, which I'm not particularly fussed about either. With tears relentlessly rolling down my red and blotchy cheeks, I start to wander up the stairs but see Pepper sitting on the sofa, so I silently retreat again. As I sit back down on the couch in Dad's lab, the silence seems to drown me.
If only.
The sweet bliss of drowning would be better than this. Better than sitting here knowing his hands have been on me. His lips scar every inch of my body, marking me as his conquest. His lips scar every inch of my body, showing the world that I'm weak. That I'm just what everyone takes me for.
That I'm just a girl.
I ran off to S.H.I.E.L.D and I told myself that I was doing it to be a better person and I was doing it to find some purpose outside of the material world around myself. I was lying though. I pushed myself to the breaking point because I liked it. I liked the pain and I liked not having everyone fall at my feet. I liked not being Aurelia Stark. I liked to pretend I'm not just a weak little girl, whose sole purpose on Earth is to always be second to some man.
My eyes find the blue ocean out the windows and I once again wish to be buried miles down in its turquoise liquid. To have the salty water wash every trace of him off my body. To have the salty water wash every memory of his touch away. To have the salty water wash every trace of me away.
I let my eyelids flutter shut, tired of the thoughts echoing around my mind.
I'm awoken again by the whirring of machinery and my father's whining, "Be gentle. This is my first time. I designed this to come off, so... Hey. I really should be able to..."
"Please, try not to move, sir.", J.A.R.V.I.S says.
I turn around and the sight of my father brings choked sobs out again and leads tears to once again spill from my eyes. His head snaps around, seemingly only just noticing my presence, immediately, his arms drop limply to his sides at the sight of me.
"Lia?", he questions.
Now that he stands entirely still, the robots take his suit off him quickly and he rushes over to me. I sit in a crumpled heap on the couch with the once gorgeous dress now in tatters around me. My chest shakes with heavy cries and I can only imagine how I must look. He goes to wrap his arms around me and I immediately flinch, cowering away from his touch.
"I-", I start, realizing what I've done.
The second I flinch away from him, his face drops, out of the usual sympathetic and concerned look he has when I cry, into something else. Almost a look of indifference, though a fire burns behind his brown orbs as he notices the bruises along my arms and asks, "Who hurt you?"
"No- No...", I shake my head and sob into my palms.
He looks at me softly, though I can still see his anger through his clenched jaw and his tensed muscles. Almost as if he's afraid to touch me, he peers at me, "Lia, who hurt you?", his voice is gruff as he asks.
"No... I can't...", I stand up and back away from him, toward the door of the workshop. He watches me with terror in his eyes as I turn and rush out of the workshop, up to my room.
Pepper's sat on the sofa on her laptop and glances back at me, but only sees a flurry of my scarlet dress as I rush up the stairs. "Aria, where have you-", a few seconds later, Dad comes marching up the stairs, "Tony, what's wrong?"
She's once again completely ignored as he follows me to my room, though he's too late since my door's already locked by the time he gets there. I slump to the floor with my back pressed against the door and just stare at the roof.
I know he's outside. I can feel it. He doesn't speak though.
Silence hangs in the air for a few moments before his voice finally breaks into my bubble of self-loathing, "Aria, sweetheart, I need you to let me in.". I don't reply. "I need you to open that door and I need you to tell me what's wrong."
"I can't.", I murmur, though apparently loud enough for him to hear.
"Munchkin, I'm here. I've always been here and I'll always be here. I can help you. Whatever it is, I can make it better. I swear."
Slowly, I push my way to my feet, "You can't. It was my fault and I...", I click the lock open again, "I should have been stronger. I should have...", I pull open the door and he stares at me. " You taught me to be strong and... and... and I was weak. I barely fought back. I just let him... he...", I wrap my arms around Dad and cling onto him like my life depends on it.
As the realization dawns on him, I feel his muscles tense, "He? Did you say 'he'?"
"No... No. He'll hurt you... He'll... kill me."
He looks at me desperately, "Who, baby, who?"
"Eighteen years... Eighteen years and he just..."
"Who's 'he'?", he pries, desperate for an answer.
"No. No, I can't say because if I speak...", my voice breaks and I try to muffle my sobs, "If I speak it'll be real. I don't want it to be real.", I pull away slightly and stare at my exposed shoulders, covered in pink marks of his lips, "But it is. And he..."
Dad gasps at the sight and I don't think I've ever seen him so furious, "Somebody... Somebody... To my little girl?", he questions, his breathing picking up as he puts the pieces together and I feel his muscles tense even more, if that's possible, around me, "Sweetheart, you've got to tell me who it was. Please.", he says in a tone I've never heard before- he's begging.
"No. No.", I declare in a trembling voice, "He said I'm damaged. If you know that makes it all true. I don't want him to be right."
He lifts my chin and stares deep into my eyes, "Who was it?"
"I am damaged. He was right. And what he did doesn't... You fix things but I... I need fixing. Everyone knows it. I'm just weak and I'm-"
He grabs my shoulders harshly but immediately softens his grip when I wince, "Don't say that, Aurelia. Don't you dare say that. You are perfect. Okay?", I don't say anything, "Okay?", he repeats loudly.
"Okay.", I murmur.
"And don't let anyone ever tell you anything otherwise. Aurelia Maria Stark, you are perfect. You are my daughter. You mean more to me than all seven billion other people on this planet combined. You are so special and I love you more than life itself, okay? So, whoever did this to you, I am going to make them pay. You got that?", I nod weakly, "I just need you to tell me who it was."
Taking a few more shaky breaths, I muster the courage to whisper, "Obadiah."
His hands drop to his sides, he stands up, straight as a statue, and his lips part, his face contorting with so many emotions. He's furious. He's betrayed. He's heartbroken. He's confused.
"Obadiah.", he repeats my words, nodding his head as he processes it all, "Okay.", he stands stock still for a few moments, staring at the wall. Then, he kisses me gently on the cheek, "Okay.", he says again, offering me a very forced smile.
Then, just like that, he turns on his heel and starts for the door, "Where are you going?", I call after him.
"To kill that bastard."
A message from the author:
Eesh, another rocky chapter. Anyways, hope you all had a good week! Remember to vote and comment! See you all next chapter! (;
- Hannah xoxo
Word count: 1500
Date published: March 19th 2022