A/N: Hiiii! This is a shorter chapter than I'm used to writing but I hope you all like it despite that and won't mind :) Happy September my babes
Warnings: I mention a case about kidnapping and child trafficking but it's just a mention, breeding/impregnation kink, unprotected sex/vaginal penetration, creampie, assisted masturbation (both male and female), daddy kink, humping, handjob, spit as lube, discussion about having kids
Chapter Summary: While Spencer is back at work, Reader contemplates her own career. The two of them talk about what their life in the future might hold.
Word Count: 5.9k
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You knew this day was coming up, you just didn't think it would come so soon. Time passed quicker when you were spending it with the person you loved.
Spencer was going back to work.
Honestly, it scared you.
You were so used to having him home. You spent days laughing with him, kissing him, sharing sleepy smiles, and knowing glances. You found yourself tangled up with him every night. Days were filled with love and an easy routine. The sabbatical had been a huge blessing, and before it started, you had no idea you'd appreciate it this much.
And now that he was going back to work, you hadn't realized how much anxiety the thought brought you. His job was dangerous - lots of things were often uncertain. He risked his life every time he went into the field.
It terrified you that the happiest days you spent with him might become no more than memories that you longed for after they had gotten withered by age.
But you weren't the only one who was worried. Although he never mentioned it, you knew that he too was anxious about going back. Life at home was comfortable, and both of you were enjoying it. And in light of Emily calling you two out on the phone, you knew his worry was probably just as great as yours.
At least you didn't have to look Emily in the eye any time soon.
You also knew a bigger part of him was excited. He loved the work he did. It saved lives, and he was a huge part of that. Even more, he loved his team and he missed them. They missed him too, and you knew the BAU was eager to have their beloved pretty boy back on deck.
When you thought about the work he did, a certain kind of jealousy struck you. The kind that was more filled with longing than with envy. His job made a difference for others, and he enjoyed every bit of what he did. It was fulfilling.
It made you realize that you wanted that too.
Working at the store with Martha was great, but it wasn't something you wanted to do forever. It was a job far more suited to someone who wanted to work rotating shifts or climb the hierarchical ladder of administration in retail.
You had a master's degree in chemistry.
That was what you loved. Not rearranging shelves or using your customer service persona that never seemed to end.
The store was a sort of safety net, though. You'd been there so long, working with your best friend, and it was familiar. You had a routine that you liked and could rely on.
And so you were torn at the thought of staying at a job where you felt comfortable, with your best friend, close to home; or doing what you would be passionate about, exploring the options that your degree gave you, and feeling a sense of pride for what you were doing.
When you thought about it for longer than a few seconds though, your head began to spin. There were too many possibilities to think over and so much that could sway your opinion. You wanted to talk to Spencer about it before you made any decisions. He would give you the advice you were after.
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Luckily for you, the case Spencer was working on wrapped up faster than either of you anticipated. He was back by the end of the week, only looking slightly more flustered than when he had left.
You were lying in bed, staring out the window in the bedroom when you heard the front door unlock. The room was chilly - it was colder now, and small snowflakes were falling from the sky in slow meandering flakes. The sheets were pulled up around your shoulders, but you turned at the sound of the door.
You could hear his footsteps and the shuffle of his bag and coat as he shed his outer layers. He was trying to be quiet for you, making his movements deliberate, but even as he tried to creep through the house, you heard everything.
Not that you minded in the slightest. You had been awake waiting for him to get home, and the thought of seeing him again after a week lit your insides with warmth.
It was actually adorable how hard he was trying to be quiet. You had your eyes trained on the bedroom door, waiting for him to step through. As he crept up to it, and the creak rang out as he pushed it open, you could just make out the guilty expression on his face at the loud noise.
On your face was a huge grin.
As soon as he saw you were awake and watching him, his face softened. The corners of his lips pulled into a smile.
"Hi," he cooed, "it's me."
You moved to sit up in bed so you could see him better. He was looking at you like you'd hung the stars in the sky.
"Welcome home, baby."
You didn't think it was possible, but you saw the smitten look on his face intensify. He came to your side of the bed with his arms outstretched. You matched his movements, wrapping your arms tight around his shoulders the moment he was close enough. Breathing in the smell of him that you missed so much, you tucked your head into his shoulder. Instantly, you were warm all over.
His presence was like a soft fire that seeped into the deepest parts of you, warming you up with a single touch.
Before you could snuggle into him further, he pulled his head back just far enough to kiss you. You missed how good his lips felt on yours.
"I missed you," he whispered in between kisses. Your hands dragged over his curly mop of hair pulling him closer. Somehow, he tasted better than you remembered. Had it only been a week? "And I love you," his mouth was back on yours.
The kiss was slow and gentle. Both of you wanted it to last as long as possible. He trapped your lip between his teeth, giving it a tug when he pulled away. It was enough to make you ache for more.
You whined when he released you, and he chuckled.
"Did you miss me that much?" he smiled.
In your sleepy state you nodded, a smile painting your cheeks. "I missed you more than you know. And I love you even more than that."
Spencer went over to the closet, and you watched his back as he began pulling off his clothes from work. Surprisingly, his movements were fluid at this hour. Getting back into the field had done him some good. He seemed more alert and awake despite the very early flight home. It was probably a mix of being over tired and the high after returning to the field after a month away.
But once he had his boxers and a t-shirt on, and he stumbled back over to his side of the bed, pulling you tight to his chest, you knew something was bothering him. More than he'd let on. His face was nuzzled into the side of your neck, and his arms held you in a tight grip like you were his own life-sized teddy bear.
You shifted, turning to your other side so you could face him. He held you just as tightly in the new position. With your arms around his back and your cheek against his chest, you whispered, "Is everything okay?"
You trailed your fingers over his back soothingly, finding tension in his muscles. But the longer you touched him, you could feel it start to melt away. He exhaled, long and slow.
"It just feels so nice to hold you again. I... The case turned out okay, but this one especially made me realize how bad it can get. And I never take it for granted, but some people see life as something to exploit."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't want to upset you."
"No, never mind about that, I want you to tell me what's wrong."
He seemed to think about it for a moment, pressing his chin into the top of your head.
"The case involved children. It's always harder for all of us when the unsub targets children. He was kidnapping them for an underground trafficking ring."
You could hear how devastated he sounded.
"We caught him and saved a lot of kids today, but even though it was a success I keep thinking about how many kids there are out there who we can't save. The ones who we don't even know need saving. Kids are so vulnerable; they depend on adults to look out for them and keep them safe. They're too trusting but they don't know any better," he murmured. "And I hate thinking about how many kids have been failed because of an adult. I never want my kids to feel like that."
Your heart sank. He was right - kids relied on their parents to protect them. They knew none of the darkness the world had hidden beneath the surface, and because of that they saw everything from a different perspective. Kids were innocent.
His words made you think of other things too.
You didn't miss his mention of wanting kids, but the two of you had never talked about it before. You didn't know if you were even ready for kids. It took a few beats for you to respond, but when you did, you traced your hands over the tops of his arms, looking up at him with a sad smile.
"I know," you murmured, "I can't imagine how difficult it is to deal with a case like that. I'm sorry you had a rough week." You pulled him tighter to you, "I never want my kids to feel like that either. But any amount of help you can give, no matter how small, will always be valued. You do really wonderful work, Spencer."
He kissed your hair, breathing in your scent. You wanted to comfort him, tilting your chin and bringing your lips to his. It was slow, like you had all the time in the world to feel the curves of each other's lips. His hands slid down your back, coming to rest on your hips. They gave you a small squeeze, and you wrapped your legs around his waist.
What was meant to be a small gesture of comfort became a sphere of intimacy that surrounded you both.
Gentle touches began peeling away each other's clothing in between kisses. He had the sheets pulled up about your shoulders when your bodies were bare to save you from the chilly night. His embrace was warm as he hugged your body to his chest, rolling on top of you.
He supported almost all his weight as he propped himself up to look at your body beneath him. Pressing small kisses into your neck and shoulders, his mouth wandered over your body touching all of the curves he could. The soft silk of his lips caressed your skin, and with each kiss you fell deeper into a state of bliss with him. Your body craved him.
On your belly, you could feel his bulge press into you. It was growing hard between your bodies.
His hands were around your shoulders as his head dipped lower, kissing your abdomen again and again. Your hands found his hair, holding the ends and giving a soft tug to bring his head back up to yours.
Once he was above you again, you rolled to your side, reaching into the space between your bodies to wrap your fingers around the base of his length. He groaned when you touched him. It had been longer than either of you were used to since you last touched each other.
You pumped him a few times slowly, and it drove him wild. His face was lost in pleasure as your hand stroked him. He had lines in his forehead and his eyes shut were squeezed shut while low moans escaped. His chest ached for air as your grip tightened near the head.
You watched him with wonder. Each time your hand passed up his shaft, you could feel how badly he wanted this. He hadn't stopped making soft noises here and there as you worked at him.
"I missed you, Bambi," he rasped.
Your lower belly fluttered. You missed him too. You missed being with him like this.
His hands ground into your hips, holding you like a vice while you stroked him. You brought some of the skin over the head of his cock, giving him a few quick pumps and his mouth fell open with a groan. The sound was like a drug. You wanted more. Nothing was more beautiful than the way he lost himself to your touches.
Your other hand came to join him, cupping his balls and giving a soft massage over them with your thumb. His breath was ragged. When you rubbed the tip with your thumb, he throbbed in your hand. You knew he wouldn't last much longer.
Precum beaded from his tip, and you collected it, using it to help you move over the velvet skin of his shaft.
He brought a hand to your centre, rubbing your clit with slow circles. Your insides burned, coming alive with the early stages of tension. Pressing your lips to the base of his neck, you kissed him while his free hand found the back of your head, holding you close.
The hand on your nub picked up speed, and your folds got wetter. His fingers dragged through them, gathering the natural lubricant and smearing it back over your clit. You could feel the tension grow stronger.
Your hand squeezed him again as you twisted your grip over his shaft, and he gasped. He found your hands, guiding them away. He held your legs so the head of his cock could run through your folds. Instinctively, you wrapped your legs around his waist, keeping him close.
Skin on skin, your bodies slotted together as Spencer sunk inside of you slowly. Your muscle stretched around him and feeling him inside of you once more was like feeling whole again. Your body accepted him graciously; it has missed the way he filled you so perfectly. Your heart missed him too.
He rolled his hips into yours while you pulled him close. There was no rush to his pace nor was there any reason to. The two of you were just savouring your connection to one another.
Nice and slow, he filled you up again and again. Each time his hips touched yours, your walls would stretch and squeeze him, causing quiet moans to spill out of his mouth. Your hands found his hair, pulling him down so you could feel his lips on yours.
There was something sensual about his breath as you breathed it in, falling deeper into a state of euphoria when your lips connected. You couldn't get enough. You wanted to feel all of him, all at once. As much of him as you could.
Grazing your nails over his back, you coaxed another low whine out of him. His own nails squeezed your hips and your ass, pulling you tight. His cock filled you deeper, still thrusting slowly and gently, and the tension inside of your core blossomed.
As his lips moved lazily over yours, and then to your cheek, your jaw, and the base of your ear, you felt his cock throb. His teeth toyed with your lobe, nibbling and then sucking on it before whispering into your ear.
"God, I missed you. I love how your body feels when I'm inside you, Bambi."
You moaned in response, absentmindedly running your fingers down his back.
"I think about you like this all the time," he murmured, "even when I shouldn't. I can play back how it feels with perfect clarity. I want you to be mine." The head of his cock dragged over your upper wall, and your muscles clenched. "I want to make you mine."
You were euphoric. Your head was dizzy with thoughts of Spencer as he brought your bodies to the brink of pleasure. His mouth was still by your ear, whispering words meant only for you to hear.
"I want to fill you up until the only thing you can feel is my cum inside of you. I want your belly flooded with my seed so you can carry my child."
You whimpered, grabbing him and hugging him to you. It made you delirious knowing how badly he wanted you. Hearing him say dirty things so quietly to you. You had missed him so much that your thoughts were nearly incoherent.
And then his hand came to your wrist, bringing your hand to your lower belly, just above where you were joined together. His hand overlapped with the back of your palm, pressing it into you. Each time his hips thrust forwards, you felt a small bump hit you. He was so deep inside and the thought made you feral.
"Do you feel that?" he cooed, "I want you to have my children."
That sent you over the edge.
"Daddy," you gasped, gripping his shoulders, voice weak with pleasure. Your walls began spasming, clenching around his shaft as an orgasm rippled through you. Soft mewls poured out of your tense body.
The pulsing of your muscles brought him to the peak of pleasure too. His shaft throbbed once more, and then his hands dug into your skin, pulling you flush against him, burying himself deeper than ever inside you. You felt pressure as the head of his cock touched your cervix, and his hands held you in place while warm ropes of cum spilled inside you until there was none left.
A groan fell from his lips and his throat was open, head thrown back. And when he was empty, his hands kept you close.
Both of your chests were heaving gently, covered in a thin layer of sweat. He was still buried in your folds as your muscles began to relax around his length. One of his hands cradled the back of your head to his body as you came down from your highs together.
You could feel the wet mess of semen start to seep out now, spilling onto your thighs. His arms loosened along with a small sigh of protest from you. Neither one of you wanted to move. You were euphoric, and sleep seemed so close. But once your legs were untangled, he slipped out of the sheets, wandering to the bathroom to get a cloth to clean you up.
You laid there with your eyes nearly closed, listening to the sounds of him across the hall. When he returned, he came around to your side of the bed, running the cloth over your inner thighs and centre.
He was sleepy, and as soon as you were clean, he tossed the rag into the laundry bin and slid into bed beside you once more. His arms pulled you close again so that your back was against his chest, and finally, sleep was within reach.
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The next morning, you opened your eyes to find that there was a thin layer of snow covering the ground. Just enough white to cover the pavement outside so that you could tell it had snowed. As you laid there, staring out at the sky, your hands wandered behind you, searching for the man with the warm body who had yours pinned to him in a needy embrace.
The covers were pulled up over each of your shoulders, hiding you from the early chill of December. Rolling over, you felt his grip loosen. Your eyes met his, a small smile on his lips.
Spencer was already awake.
His eyes softened seeing you hadn't fully woken up yet. You brought your arms around his back, snuggling into him under the sheets. Both of you were still naked. He looked like he'd been awake for a while, content with just holding you until you woke up too.
"What are you doing?" you mumbled into his chest with a smile. "Why haven't you gotten out of bed yet, it's late."
"I'm keeping you warm," he murmured, hugging you closer.
Your chest swelled with love. Spencer wanted to stay in bed with your body pressed into his long after he'd woken up just so he could hold you and keep you warm. Nuzzling your cheek into his shoulder, you closed your eyes again. All you wanted to do was lie in bed with him forever. His hands slid over your bare back and then up to your head, coaxing your chin up to look at him. You could feel his eyes roam over the contours of your lips.
You closed the gap between you seconds later, opening your mouth to take his lips between yours. His tongue traced over your bottom lip, and you sighed, kissing and touching every part of his lips with your own.
Your legs returned to their spot around his waist, and with a little bit of force, you had rolled him onto his back. Now straddling his hips, your upper half slinked low over his bare body, arching your back as you planted kiss after kiss on his chest. Spencer pressed his hands into your hips, holding your core down against him. You started to roll your hips leisurely, feeling him harden beneath you. His eyes watched your body with lust.
He was taking in every one of your curves and the way your skin flexed and softened as you rubbed yourself over his groin. Once he felt thick and hard, you lifted your hips, and scooted down until there was enough room to take him in your hand. As soon as your fingers touched his shaft, he hummed deeply, looking at you through half lidded eyes.
You brought your palm up to your lips, spitting in it to get it slippery so you could stroke him. Wrapping it around the base of him, you gave him a few painstakingly slow pumps. He groaned. Your other hand soon joined it, stacking your fists to cover his length so only the head was poking out.
As you began to rub your hands over his cock, he rasped, "You're in a good mood this morning."
"I'd say you're in an even better mood," you returned with a smile.
He tucked his arms behind his head so he could lie back and watch you. Both hands slid up over his shaft, squeezing as your hands moved over his head. His belly tenses when you lingered on parts that were particularly sensitive. Beads of precum spilled out from the top, and you coated your palms, making his shaft slick and wet.
It had been a while since you got to touch Spencer like this with a perfect view in the morning light. Although the comforter was off you, heat raced through your whole body at the sight of him. Feeling the smooth and velvety skin of his shaft beneath your palms, and the way it twitched, knowing you were the one bringing pleasure to him made your insides burn hot.
The next time you brought your hands up over his head, you pulled some of his foreskin with you, sliding it over the tip, teasing the most sensitive part of him. His body instantly reacted, groaning and tensing. You smiled at him, with one hand on his cock and the other massaging his tight scrotum. It drove him wild, and he tilted his head back, taking in a gasp of air.
More precum seeped from the tip, and your thumb swiped over the bead to collect it. He hissed, trying carefully not to jerk his hips into your hand. You ran it over his length as he throbbed once more. The tightness of your grip increased as you worked at him with more speed and pressure. Your hand closed around his head, curling your wrist while you dragged it higher, and it elicited a symphony of low groans from him as semen spilled onto your hands.
Ribbons of cum came out in spurts, decorating your hands. Your movements slowed, but you didn't stop. Instead, you chose to work him gently through his high, using soft and slow strokes to beckon every last drop out.
His belly was taut and tense as you continued to touch him. When no more came out, you slowed to a stop. You guided his cock down to his belly as his erection started to subside.
Your hands were sticky with his essence, along with his shaft and the curls at the base of him. And when you looked back at his face, he was staring at you with a lopsided smile. The kind that he wore so often when he was amused.
"What did I do to deserve that?"
You gave him a shy smile.
"Nothing. I just missed you and I wanted to welcome you home."
"That's a very nice welcome."
You moved to straddle his hips again, leaning down to connect your lips to his. You pressed a quick peck on his lips, "I love you. Now lay here and let me get something to clean you up."
He hummed, stroking your cheek before you swung your leg over his side and climbed off the bed.
In the bathroom, you rinsed your hands and then got a warm washcloth. It was nice doing this for him. The thought made your heart happy. You were able to return the small act of kindness that he had done countless times for you before. He deserved to be the one who was taken care of sometimes.
When you came back into the bedroom, he had heeded your instructions flawlessly. He was still lying in bed, and his eyes were shut, but they opened at the sounds of your return. You climbed next to him, cleaning the fluids from his belly and his groin, taking extra care to make sure you got it all. He was always mindful and gentle when he cleaned you up afterwards, and you wanted him to feel the same love, attention, and tenderness you felt when he did it for you.
"Thank you," he said the moment you were done. "I could have done it though, sweetheart."
"I know you could have, but it was my turn. And I wanted to, daddy."
You dropped the cloth into the laundry basket and then came back to him again. His arms were open, ready to envelope you into a hug.
"Now come back here please," he murmured.
You accepted his embrace readily. Climbing back up next to him, you pulled the sheets over you both as your body found its place in his side. His hand smoothed over the back of your hair, soothing you in a way that made you want to close your eyes and fall back asleep. But you resisted, wanting to be present with him.
You turned your lips to his shoulder, placing a few small kisses into his collar bone. His skin flushed beneath you, and you smiled to yourself. It would never get tiring seeing the effect you had on each other.
The two of you laid together, just breathing and placing small caresses across each other's skin until he decided to break the silence.
"Should we get up?"
"No," you cooed, "stay in bed with me today, it's the weekend."
His fingers slid over your cheeks, tucking a piece of hair out of the way. When you looked up at him, you could see an amused smirk on his lips.
"We can stay in bed as long as you want then."
You hugged him closer, burrowing your body into his side until you were comfy. His hand came around your waist to hold you. Everything was quiet, and it seemed like your window to talk about what had been on your mind while he was away.
"Hey Spencer? I've been thinking about finding a new job, somewhere more fitting to my degree."
"Oh!" He shifted, positioning himself on his side so he could look at you while still remaining close. "That's great, Y/N!" But when he saw the troubled look you wore, his tone became softer and much more soothing. "Have you thought about where you want to apply, or what sort of job you'd like?"
"No, I'm not there yet." And that was the problem. You didn't know and it only made you feel more turmoil. There were so many things you had yet to consider, and it was overwhelming at times.
Even though you wanted a new job, doubt still plagued you. Finding the right job was hard. You worried about whether or not any choice you'd make would be the right one, especially since it'd been so long since you'd done any work that was related to chemistry.
"Hey, that's alright, Bambi. You have plenty of time to figure it out. There's no need to rush headfirst into it, it's a big step."
Hearing that helped. It was what you needed to hear, and it brought you some comfort.
"I know that, but it's hard not to worry. I've had this job for so long that I'm afraid of taking a bigger step with more risks. What if I forget all that I learned at school? I don't want to mess up if I start somewhere new."
Everyone who started a new job probably felt that way. But knowing that didn't make it any less scary for you. It might've been a silly thing for him to hear. He wouldn't ever worry about stuff like that when it came to academics. His eidetic memory and his IQ made things easier for him.
His eyes roamed over your face before his hand traced the same patterns on your cheek. He could see your expression turn glum. And guessing correctly at the source of your sadness, he made it go away with the first sentence.
"I understand why you're scared. I don't think it's silly, either. But that's all part of trying something new, right? And while I might not be able to help you through everything, I can do everything I can to make it easier for you if you need me to. You should do whatever you'd like, and you'll have my unconditional support. I'll be rooting for you no matter what."
All you could do was hug him. You felt too much for words at the moment. Everything seemed easier knowing that he'd be there to help you with anything, and that you'd have his support regardless of where you ended up or what you decided to do.
When your arms loosened, he was looking down at the top of your head with a fond look on his face.
"Thank you," you murmured, "that helped more than you know. Just knowing that you'll help me figure things out already makes me feel better."
"I'm glad I helped a little. If you want to think things over and then talk about it some more together, I'm always ready to listen. Can I ask what brought this on?"
Your eyes were almost beaming. "It was actually because of you." Heat spread through your cheeks. "I've been thinking a lot about you being back at work, and you love your job, and you're really good at what you do. It made me think about my own job, and how I want to do something I love as much as you."
He smiled. "The world has a way of shaping a path for everyone, and most of us don't even realize we're going where we're meant to be until we take the time to look back. So, whatever you end up doing, it'll work out if you give it time."
You sat with that idea for a while. Letting the pieces fall where they may, with the knowledge that everything would turn out okay in the end would be enough for now.
More thoughts made their way into your mind as you stared at him. You now had a life with him. Your relationship was no longer an arrangement, and it hadn't been that way in a long time. Both of you felt it develop into something deeper, something more intimate and special.
Sharing these kinds of intimate moments with him like this led your thoughts towards the future. You thought about what other moments you would share in this life with him.
"Can I ask you something else?"
"Of course," he hummed, tracing his hands over your arm. "You can always talk to me about anything."
"It's about last night, when we were..."
Your words fizzled out, but he got the idea. The more you played last night over, you weren't sure if his words were just part of the fantasy, or if he really meant them. They hadn't bothered you. Honestly, you loved hearing them. And the idea of turning those wishes into reality was more appealing than you could have anticipated. But you had to know if he felt the same way before you said anything.
"Do you really want me to have your kids, Spencer?"
His hand stilled for a second and then he resumed, tracing more patterns over your skin. You felt him inhale while he thought about how to answer you.
"Do you want kids?" he murmured.
"Maybe one day, I think. I would love to when I'm ready."
You couldn't see his face with your head tucked under his chin, but you could hear the smile in his answer. It made you smile too.
"I've always wanted to have kids. I used to worry that it would never happen because I was alone for a long time before you. Time seemed to move so fast, and before I knew it most of the team already had and were raising kids of their own."
He sounded like he was accepting defeat before the battle had even begun.
"We still have plenty of time to make that happen," you cooed. "It's not too late."
You reached up to thread your fingers through the hair at the back of his head, pulling his lips down to yours. They slotted with yours easily. In the warmth of the sheets, and with his body pressed against yours, the kiss made everything feel okay. Like a seal of reassurance that everything would work out the way you both hoped it would.
When Spencer pulled away, he cupped your chin, holding your face up to him. His cheeks were coloured a light pink from the swell of emotions in his chest.
"Do you really want that kind of life with me?"
Your heart felt a twinge of sadness at the doubt he had towards himself. Anyone who got to know Spencer would know that he was more than deserving of a happy life. A life he wanted. And he'd be a wonderful person to start a family with.
"Of course I do!" you cooed. "Spencer, I love you. You'd make an excellent dad to our kids one day."
There was a small smile tugging on the corners of his lips. He looked happier than you'd ever seen him before.
"One day, then."
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A/N 2: Hi again! On a ~similar~ note from this chapter, we're all on a little life journey ourselves, and even though it's hard and usually confusing, people are watching and admiring you and your strength! You are inspiring people and you might not even know it. Don't give up <3 Love you all