From the beginning, they knew.
They didn't even try to hide it.
Oh, and I'm not talking about Phil and Kristen.
"What do you mean they're not allowed back?" Phil asks.
"I'm sorry Phil but we've ignored this for too long, your youngest son tried to eat mud, and your oldest threatened me with a plastic knife!" The poor teenage girl was at her wits end.
"What about Wilbur?" Phil asked.
"Sand...and the fish," she glared at him, "I'm sorry Phil but you're gonna have to find someone else, I can't do this, and with school starting I just..."
"I understand, thank you so much for putting up with them," Phil nods.
"No problem, tell the next babysitter I wish them all the best, they're gonna need it,"
***
"Techno, what did I say about the knife?" Phil sighed as soon as he got in the car.
His three sons lined up in a row in the back seat.
"Not to threaten people with it," Techno sighed.
"And what did I say about eating sand AND mud,"
"It's gross," Wilbur muttered.
"Exactly, when we get home, you all are going in time-out," Phil scolds, starting the car.
"Dadza," Wilbur asked.
"Yes?" Phil sighed, beginning to back out of the driveway.
"Am I gonna see the fish again?" He asked.
"No, I don't think you'll be seeing the fish again," Phil rolled his eyes.
He loved his sons but they were troublemakers, even Tommy who could barely talk yet.
Techno was relatively smart for his age, granted, he learned most of what he knows from the Karate movies Phil used to watch before taking in Wilbur, and Documentaries he put on to help him fall asleep. Techno especially liked the ones about Greece, and had taken to calling Tommy "Theseus," which was hard to explain whenever he did it in public.
Wilbur was slightly better, but not by much. He had an odd fascination with fish. He knew a lot about them and would just stop and stare whenever he saw one. He would even claim that he was in love with the fish at his...now ex-babysitter's house. He even had attempted to eat sand on many occasions, and also threw a tantrum whenever he saw an anteater, which wasn't often, but it still happened every time, and was very weird. At least this one would at least try to calm Tommy down with jokes and songs.
And Tommy...all he did was scream. He screamed when he was happy, when he was sad, when he was angry...Tommy screamed. And that was about all he did. And when he did say coherent sentences or words, it was still loud. And very odd.
All of the boys had previously been orphaned by different families and Phil had taken them in. Almost all of them were barely one when they were adopted. And Phil didn't mind, he'd wanted a child for so long but never found the right woman to marry, so he'd just decided to adopt, which had turned out well for him...he guessed.
When the fleet arrived at their house Phil wasn't even angry anymore, he was just tired, and punishing them just wouldn't do any good. He'd tried.
"Where are we going tomorrow?" Techno asked.
"What?" Phil replied, helping Tommy out of his car seat.
"Miss Babysitter said she was done with us, and she talked to you. Where are we going tomorrow?" Techno asked again, as if that explained how he knew they were technically banned from asking her to take care of them during the day again.
"I don't know Tech, but I'll find somewhere," Phil nods.
***
After all the boys had went to bed Phil went searching.
Most options involved signing up for websites or going way too far out of town, or coming to their house, which meant Phil would have to somehow get the boys to help clean which was stressful enough doing it once a week, let alone five days straight like it would require.
He almost scrolled past the perfect opportunity.
a daycare? he thought to himself.
He clicked on the page and it quickly opened up.
It wasn't too far, he could go right away and register them later, and there were other kids, so his kids could make friends and be less distracting...or possibly more...but it looked like the best option.
He bookmarked the page and shut down his computer for the night.
right before work tomorrow, Angel's daycare
***
"We're not allowed back," Wilbur pointed out, fiddling with a loose thread on his yellow sweater.
"I know Wil, for the thousandth time, we're going somewhere else,"
"Thousandth!" Tommy repeated.
"Why can't I bring my knife?" Techno asked.
"It's a knife," Phil replied.
They then pulled into the parking lot.
The daycare was small, about the size of a large suburban house, maybe bigger, but not by much.
There was a gorgeous lady standing out front, greeting your kids and their parents who were dropping them off.
"Hey, uh, I'm Phil, I read online that I can register after my first visit?" He asks.
"Yeah, as long as you plan on coming back," she smiles.
"Yeah, uh, they're a handfu-" Phil gets quickly interrupted.
"MY DADZA HAS A LOT OF MONEY!" Tommy yells.
The woman was caught completely off-guard, "h-wha-what?"
"And no wife," Wilbur nods.
"But he's looking," Techno smirks.
"Oh my g-goodness uh..." the woman was clearly embarrassed.
"I'm so sorry about them, they're...a lot..." Phil sighs, exasperated.
"No, not at all, it's fine, really, they can come right in, I just need your..uh...number in case of an emergency," she laughs.
"Or in case of a date," Wilbur snickers making his way into the building with Tommy and Techno in tow.
She laughs and hands him a slip of paper to fill out.
"I'm so sorry they usually don't do this, I'm in a rush, don't listen to anything they say about me," Phil quickly writes his name and number down on the paper, "I gotta go, miss...?"
"Kristen," she giggles.
"Right, I...uh...I'll see you this afternoon,"
Phil ran to his car.
What the fuck just happened?
***
When Phil came to pick them up it was a whole other story.
"Mumza has to come with us," Techno begs.
"Mumza?" Phil asks.
"Miss Kristen, are you deaf?" Wilbur yells.
"MUM!" Tommy yells.
"What?" Phil asks.
Kristen arrives, laughing after them, "They've been doing this all day, they're the sweetest,"
That was certainly something Phil hadn't heard before.
"Uh, yeah, we'll be back then," Phil laughs.
"Yeah, I hope to see you soon," She smiles back, "okay boys, don't forget your pictures,"
She handed them pieces of paper with little doodles on them.
"Thank you again, I'll register online, right?" Phil asks.
"Yep, all the information is there," she laughs.
***
The same pattern when on for quite a while, the boys calling the woman "Mumza" as if she were their mother, and Phil and Kristen awkwardly trying to dismiss the idea from their heads, despite the obvious.
"The obvious" being that they liked each other, she loved his kids and him, in all their messy glory.
The weird part was, Tommy had begun to draw pictures of them. ALL of them.
A messy, potato-head-like doodle of Phil, Techno, Wilbur, Tommy, and of corse, Kristen.
When Tommy was asked about it, he acted as if there was nothing weird about it, as if Kristen really was their mother.
***
"Wilby! I have an idea," Techno announced at his brother that day at daycare.
"What?" Wilbur replied.
"Dad likes birds, right? And so does Mumza! And birds use mating dances to fall in love! What if we ask Mumza if she likes mating dances, and maybe we can get dadza to dance for her!" Techno schemed.
"Yeah!" Tommy yelled.
"Miss Kristen!" Techno yelled.
"Yes?" She replied, making her way over to Techno.
"Do you like courtship dances?" He asked.
"Uhh," Kristen stood confused for a minute before deciding, "I guess?"
Suddenly, the phone rang.
Kristen ran over to go answer it, "Angel's daycare, this is Kristen"
She listened for a minute, smiled, and said, "yeah, okay, so does that mean..."
She then listened some more and nodded, "alright, yeah, I'll have them ready,"
Kristen then made her way back to the boys, "okay, so your dad is coming to pick you guys up early, okay?" She asked.
The boys nodded.
***
When Phil arrived and got the boys settled in the car he made an announcement, "Miss babysitter will be coming to look after you at our house tonight,"
"Why?" Wilbur asked.
"Miss Kristen and I will be going on a date," Phil smiles, "I want you on your best beha-"
"You need to dance!" Wilbur yelled.
"What?" Phil askerd.
"You just do, trust us!" Techno smirked.
Phil decided it was best not to question the boys, after all, it was their convincing that got Phil a date with Kristen in the first place.
***
The date had gone well, and even though no one told the boys, they knew.
"Miss Kristen!" Techno yelled.
"Yes?" Kristen replied.
"Dadza got you a ring!" Techno smirked.
"What?" Kristen asked.
Techno then handed over a ring pop to Kristen, "your ring,"
"Ooh, yes!" Kristen nodded.
"Let me help you put it on!" Techno laughed.
He opened the package and slipped the sticky ring on her finger.
She giggled, "thank you,"
"You're welcome!" He smiled.
***
By about a month and a half in, it was almost as if Kristen was the boys' mother.
She was practically at their house every day, all day. She would then watch the boys at the daycare on weekdays when Phil was at work.
It was almost more than fate, it was some sort of divine intervention.
Kristen and Phil were made for each other, and somehow the boys knew.
She taught Techno more about the Greek myths and stories he loved so much.
She got Wilbur a goldfish (against Phil's better judgement) and made sure he didn't inhale the sandbox whenever they went to the park.
She even somehow managed to keep Tommy calm and happy.
It was the perfect life. Weirdly enough his kid's awful behavior and uncontrollable mouths helped land him the love of his life, and the mother they'd always wanted.