It got weirder as we arrive at the doctor because the doctor asked strange questions I was a little bit to shy to answer them all in front of Joonas. The ultrasound was cold and I felt so damn uncomfortable. It was silence for a moment and then the doctor said .... oh yes you are pregnant. And ahm you are at the end of the second month. The time was standing still a tear was running down my cheek.
Joonas said i know that you shocked right now but please tell me who the father is because I really don't know how I should fell.
Joel I said...
What, WHAT did you say?? asked Joonas.
Joel is the father we have a secret love story answered I.
You slept with Joel are you kidding me JOEL is the FATHER?! I mean how will you two raise a CHILD it's a little and breakable screamed Joonas.
I..I d..ont know. I..I it's to much for me I will have an abortion and Joonas just forget the whole day.
Joonas look irritated at me. W..hat will you do WHAT?! NO NO NO you will have a Long conversation with Joel about that. You're too confused to decide that by yourself.
B..ut Joonas you know how Joel is if he knew this he would be totally against an abortion and that would break my heart because our career just started how should that work with a baby it would make me feel incredibly miserable to see that I ruined his life because I am to dumb to take a pill.
If you make an abortion now he will definitely find out later that you were pregnant and that would hurt him more said Joonas.
No child fits into my life and it doesn't matter if Joel knows or not I will have an abortion the end. I couldn't realise what I had just said. I was feeling numb and extremely awful. It was silence Joonas didn't said anything about it, he pointed to the exit and drove me home. I couldn't get a clear thought there were too many thoughts in my head. I have so many doubts. Should I talk to Joel?