Sierra
Is it too late to drop out?
Yes.
Wasn't asking you.
Well you asked.
Shut up.
It's currently midnight and I'm in my bedroom with all my lights on, surrounded by papers and books, with sweatpants and a sweatshirt on. Is it my fault for joking around too much with the teacher?
No. Maybe.
Am I regretting it? Yeah?
Parker was furious about how my APUSH teacher gave me a C-, I had all the right answers on the packet! I had the thought of shoving the packet in his face but I stopped myself from getting in trouble. I should've just let Kaydon do it.
My phone rings and I scramble for it in the pile of papers around me. I find it and I pick it up with a yawn incoming. "Hello?"
"Well you sound tired," I instantly recognize the muffled deep, raspy voice. I look across my room at the window and see him propped up on his bed with the phone next to his ear. My breath got caught in my throat when I see him shirtless and only in basketball shorts. Every muscle on display.
I probably hadn't seen the contact name. I internally roll my eyes and let out a sigh. "I've been at this packet, REDOING IT, for two hours!" I lay on back and close my eyes for a second, regaining my thoughts.
"I wanna sleep." I whine and he chuckles quietly. That was very attractive.
Stop.
I quickly look at my window and see him now sitting on the edge of his bed, his lamp the only source of light on in his room. "Then sleep," he says. His voice was quiet, but peaceful. Just like how it was at night.
"I can't, didn't you hear what I said?" I hear him laugh quietly and a moment of silence comes between us.
I hear him rustling around on the other side and I look at the window to see him gone. "Kaydon?" I ask.
I hear him muttering a curse word. "Yeah, sorry." Again, I hear him moving around.
"Kaydon where are you?" I see his window open and then the next thing I know, I hear a knock on my window.
I think either I'm hallucinating or my whole soul just jumped out of my body but Kaydon is sitting on the tree branch in front of my window. I hung up and ran to the window. He would always do this when we were little and when he saw me cry.
"What the hell?" I smile and opened it for him to climb in. He's in sweatpants this time with a hoodie and he laidback on the floor out of breath. I close the window and stare at him with a smirk. "Imagine you fell,"
He rolls his eyes and sits up with a grunt, "Shut up."
I grin and sit on my messy bed with him staring at it. I raise an eyebrow, "What? It's not my fault!" He quietly laughs and looks around. It was a peaceful silence. He was looking around and I was just staring at my bedsheets.
I never thought that our friendship would turn out like this.
Kind of hurts to realize that some things aren't meant to happen, but we still wait for it to happen.
"Your room has changed a lot," he stands up and walks over to my bookshelf, skimming through a book. "Not the old pink wonderland you had." he teased. He's right. I used to have this Barbie fucking themed bedroom with pink bedsheets, pillows, walls, even shelves. Now it's white walls, light blue bedsheets, and a theme of blues and whites. Vines hung up, string lights, and small plants.
I roll my eyes and stand next to him. "That phase is over and excuse you for insulting my room back then. It was fabulous." I snatch the book out of his hand and he glared at me. He was skimming through November 9.
"This section is all Colleen Hoover," he says with wide eyes. "You're obsessed."
I snort, "No kidding! I gotten into her a year ago. Never regret it."
He smiles and his eyes wander off to a picture of the six of us on my dresser next to all my jewelry. It was a picture of all of us at his 7th birthday party. Blake and Parker were on the outside, Cameron was next to me, and Ty was next to Kaydon. We were both laughing and looking at each other.
It was the only photo I had framed up of all of us. I take a sharp breath and wait for his next words. From what I could see, his eyes were lost in the picture with sadness and pain flooding in them.
"I miss it," he whispers. I sat down on the carpet in front of my bed. "I miss what we had." I can hear the crack in his voice as he continues while staring at the photo. I slowly nod in agreement as his kept lingering on the picture.
I miss us.
Tell him that.
Wrong time, conscious.
He starts pacing around my room as he gets frustrated. "If it wasn't for me believing Harry, this wouldn't have had to happen! I could've been there for you, we could've been at your 13th birthdays, we could've graduated 8th grade together," I can see his eyes beginning to form tears as his fingers run through his hair.
"I could've been with you all the way if it wasn't for me believing him," he whispers. The pain in his voice was so present that I wanted to cry for him. My eyes were dry but my whole body was melting. He was lied to. The guys were. "We could've been so much more." he sits down in front of me and a tear is on his cheek. He was shaking and I couldn't bare to see him like this.
"I ruined everything, I ruined our lives! I was so stupid, so dumb, so.." he trailed off with tears coming out faster and his hands were shaking uncontrollably. I grab onto them and pulled him close.
"I'm so sorry, Si." he mumbles.
Si.
His arms were loosely around my waist as he kept crying in my arms. His head was against my beating heart and all I could do was hold him. I'm telling him that it's okay. I'm showing him that nothing changed. I'm telling him that we could start over.
But all I wanted to do was cry too. I wanted to say everything I wanted to say but I couldn't. They were stuck.
My arms were around his back giving him rubs. His sobs slowing down.
"You didn't know," I choke out, trying to sound soft but my voice was shaken. "It wasn't your fault."
He pulled away and looked into my eyes. His once bright brown eyes are now dull and red. The bags under his eyes tell me everything. "Sierra, I left you. We left you." he holds my hands and looks down.
"And we didn't tell you why."
I swallow this lump in my throat and lifts his chin up to meet my eyes. He gulps nervously and I soften my gaze. His shoulders visibly relaxes and I rub his knuckles.
I suck in a deep breath and tried to keep my racing heart from exploding.
"Then tell me now."
Kaydon
the explanation
"Here here!" I throw the ball and Blake catches it quickly and rammed into Ty who was walking out with a book in his hand.
Blake gasps and pulled Ty up. "Oh man! I'm so sorry," Ty smiles and brushes off the dirt on his shorts and grabbed his book from the ground.
"It's fine," he gives me a bro-hug and I look at him sheepishly. "My bad, man."
He shakes his head, "It's all good."
The sound of a car engine turns off and the three of us turn around to see a familiar looking car on the Davis' driveway.
"Hey little guy!" the curly head man waved to Blake and now I know who it was. Harry Davis. He's Blake and Cameron's dad who moved out and lives a few miles from here. Like far away I guess.
Blake moves next to me, away from his dad. "Hi dad." he mutters and Harry gives him a disappointed look. Ty stiffens next to me and I just nod in greeting to Harry.
Harry clears his throat and stands up tall. "Do you mind if we have a chat inside with your mom?" he directly looks at Blake and he nods, leading us in the house.
**
"Absolutely not!" Carol abruptly throws her towel on the counter and stands far away from Harry, going behind us. We were sitting at the kitchen island watching Harry and Carol having an argument.
Blake rubs the temples of his head and Harry groans. "Carol, it's a good opportunity!" but Blake's mom shoots up a hand to stop him.
"No," she gives him a glare and steps forward. "These boys are NOT gonna move away with you! What about the girls?"
He snorts, "They can text and call. Come on, honey it's for their careers."
She cocks an eyebrow, "Don't honey me," she scoffs. "What if they want a different career than football? Their seven!"
This was about football. I look at the guys and they were giving me hesitant glances. He wants us to move to pursue football.
As if Harry could read my mind, he steps over to me and looks me in the eye. He ruffles my hair and puts on a happy smile.
"Kaydon," he says and I nod. "What do you think about going with me to go to Elwood and have some good ole' football games?"
That sure sounds fun..
I look at the guys and their eyes have glints of hope.
"Football games?" I ask, he nods.
"And you guys might even find someone famous! Now, if you're not up for it, you can say bye-bye to the luxury pools, fields, school." he rambles on and on while Carol has steam practically spewing out of her ears.
"Don't you guys love football?" the three of us nod and he claps his hands excitedly. "If you do, you would join me. You guys won't work a lot don't you worry."
A few moments passed and I give the guys one more look. It was a yes.
I mean come on! We love football, of course. We'll come back he said, we'll visit every week, he said.
"Yes," I shake his hand. "Come on guys! We'll be back."
Ty smiled and looked at Harry. "Should we tell the girls?"
Harry shakes his head and had wide eyes. "No, they're gonna be jealous of you guys!"
**
Little did we know that we would never visit, never call, text, have breaks, even have a decent meal. It was always practice, practice, game, game, workouts, and scrimmages. The girls were never jealous.
You would think that eight year old us would at least have some sort of rest, but no. He was tough on us. So much.
I left the part where me and the guys were only here for a short amount of time but I let her take it in. I couldn't explain it back then.
I didn't explain to her because I was selfish. I didn't expect how hard it was to see her leave. My best friend. We all thought the girls were happy for us to go. I loved her.
The only person I loved.
I ruined it. I never told her, and I never will.
**
Sierra
Oh my god. They were manipulated. They were so young, how could Harry..
That son of a bitch. I'm going to kill him.
"I know it seems like it was his fault but it was me," he scoots further away and stares out from the window. "I accepted something that I never thought would ruin and make our lives."
I shake my head and stand up walking towards him. I didn't know if I was angry, upset, sad, it was a wave of emotions hitting me at once.
"It's not your fault, Kaydon." I sit down next to him and stare at the side of his face. His perfect fucking side profile making it hard.
"He manipulated you, lied to you, literally made you work so hard at the age of 8 where you guys would've passed out," I hold on to his hand and he looks at it. Our fingers intertwined and me still looking at him. "I'm glad you told me."
He laughs a little and lets go of our hands, standing up. He nods his head towards the window. "I'm glad that you're still my friend." he sighs and I nod.
Just friends.
"We're nothing more right?" I suddenly ask, and something flashed in his eyes. "Like we're just friends who won't date or we'll ruin our friendship?"
He looks stiff and just nods. "Yeah, just friends." The window began to open and he was hopping out. "See you tomorrow Sierra," before I could close it, he popped his head back in.
"Oh and thank you for listening to my explanation."
I let out a small smile and wave him goodbye. I watched him go back inside with his hood on and he gave me a thumbs up before closing his curtains. I close the window and lay on my bed with a deep sigh.
Friends.
That's easy right? The pain in my body is telling me no.
What have I got myself into?