"They are beautiful," Khusi commented, taking a seat beside Abhay on the bed, her fingers clasped around the picture frame.
Taking a deep breath, Abhay stirred his head, his eyes halting on the picture. "Yes, they were," he sniffed, clearing his throat.
"Who were they?"
"That was my mother and this one was my mom." Khusi's neck snapped towards Abhay, making Abahy chortle wryly.
"Didn't I say once, my family is complicated."
Khusi's lips parted but she couldn't say anything. She wanted to ask about them but didn't want to be too pushy too. Reminiscing Kaushik and Palak had been heart breaking for Abhay. She didn't want to push him too much.
But Abhay was done concealing things from Khusi. He wanted the burden of his family's past off his shoulders.
"I had a pretty normal childhood while growing up, till the age of 5. My parents were the happiest couple, at least in front of me. My father always made sure to reserve some time for me, even though he used to be a Lieutenant Colonel at that time. His duties for his nation kept him away most of the time. My mom, Kiran Mathur, was the most loveliest woman I have known. Everything was going well until that day."
Abhay took a deep breath, as if preparing himself for an upcoming battle. Khusi clasped his hand and intertwined their fingers, kissing his knuckles softly.
"I am here, take your time. There's no rush."
Khusi words felt like a soothing touch to his aching heart.
"One evening, I was in my room, where I heard my father yelling. I had never seen shouting at anyone ever so I was curious. Decided to step out of my room and go to theirs to investigate it. When I peeked inside, mom was on her knees, begging papa for something. I didn't know what it was, the only word I remember was 'a baby'. And Dad's only words were, 'I can't lose you too.' After that day, their relationship changed. Dad started staying away from the home more often, as if he wanted to avoid mom on purpose. Mom would spend most of her days either with me or outside, in the lawn. I was oblivious to the reason behind the sudden change in their behavior, until one day I saw Mom hugging her bodyguard, Arun chacha."
Khusi's eyes widened slightly, but she neutralized her expressions quickly, not seeming to appear judgemental. Maybe they were good friends.
Abhay continued, "For a boy of my age, a hug wasn't much of a deal. I thought they were friends because Arun chacha was Mom's shadow, no matter where she was. I saw Mom becoming happier again in his presence. She would smile more often and would spend more time with me, and I was more than happy about it. I even thanked Arun chacha for bringing back my old Mom. But the scenario wasn't that simple. He was supposedly Dad's bodyguard, and his primary duty was to protect him. And that's how he died, protecting him."
Every piece of information was slowly getting overwhelming for Khusi. Abhay had seen so many of his dear ones die since such a tender age, she wondered how did he hold himself that strong.
"But his last words haunted my father till the day he was alive," Abhay murmured, pushing himself by his feet. Sauntering towards a dresser, he opened a drawer and took out a picture frame, and handed it over to Khusi.
"That's my parents and that's Arun chacha, behind them."
Khusi's eyes wandered over the buffy physique of Arun Chetri, standing tall behind the couple in khaki uniform, his eyes shielded from the lense by a pair of black shades. But something else caught her immediate attention. Her stomach hollowed as her gaze ran down a birthmark on his forehead, a shapeless brown patch, starting from Arun's hairline till his ears.
Her lips parted, but she swallowed her words back into her throat, scared to state what she was suspecting.
"Yep, and that's why we only have one picture of him in this house and that too stays locked up in this room," Abhay commented, taking the picture frame out of her grasp.
"So Yu ... Yuti?" Khusi didn't know what to say.
"Yes, she got her birthmark from her grandfather."
Khusi sat mum on the bed, everything whirling in her head. There was so much information to digest about Abhay's family that she wasn't sure how that man endured everything alone.
When Abhay noticed Khusi's silence, he decided to finish the story, "When my father found out about mom's pregnancy, he had shut himself up in a room which was forbidden for anyone to enter. But he was gone for too long and I wanted to see him. So I didn't hesitate once to barge into the room, without knocking once. That's when I got to know that biggest secret regarding my parents."
Khusi fingers curled into a fist, her posture curled in tension. He had already revealed so many facts that Khusi wondered what more was left.
"For the first time in my life, I saw my dad crying, in fact sobbing, talking to a woman captured in a picture frame."
"Who was it?"
"My mother, Samaira Mathur."
Khusi was too confused for a second which became evident to Abhay when he saw her expressions. He decided to be more specific.
"My biological mother, who died giving birth to me."
Numbness crept into Khusi's limps at the revelation of the new piece of information.
"They were best friends in college, my mother, Samaira and my mom, Kiran. Dad knew mom as well cause my mother and dad had a love marriage. But she was too frail to carry a child and she knew she might not survive giving birth to me. And that's what happened. She died during her labour hours but before entering the OT, she had taken a promise out of Kiran Mom. To take care of me, if she didn't come out of the labour room alive."
"So that's why ... ?"
"Yes, Dad was miserable after mother's death, it was Kiran Mom who took care of me 98% of the time, since day one. But society doesn't like it when an unmarried woman stays with a man in the same house. So to prevent mom from the backlashes, he married her. Things went by and after a year or two, Dad slowly started accepting my mother's death and started spending time with me."
"Kiran Mom was in love with my dad by that time, but he had considered her only as his best friend till the last day. After Kaushik's birth, as we both grew up I slowly realized the reason for the conflict between them. Kiran Mom had wanted a baby of her own, but Dad had been too scared to lose her too. After mother's death, she was the only one who prevented him from turning insane. But Mom was desperate, so dad started avoiding her. So she didn't hesitate when she got the attention and love he wanted from Dad, from Arun chacha."
"He was heartbroken, angry and upset at both of them, but when Arun chacha died saving his life, he decided it was time to own up to his ignorance. All throughout the pregnancy dad took best care of mom. She had some complications and needed constant tending too. But dad didn't mind. He was at her side all the time. But none of his efforts could ... "
Khusi's tongue poked out to moisten her lips which were turning dry with every passing second as Abhay's narration was coming to an end.
"His fears materialised," she whispered, side hugging Abhay.
"It did. Mom died giving birth to Kaushik and Dad abandoned us."
A heavy sigh left past Khusi lips, her temple and forehead throbbing with all that information. Abhay's past was pathetic and dolorous. In the end, it was just Yuti and Abhay standing alive and everyone else from their big family were dead.
"Remember I told you once that I don't care if you were infertile?"
Khusi nodded, a sad smile on her lips. Her miseries seemed like nothing in front of his'.
"Do you now know why?"
Khusi's throat tightened with emotions but she managed to utter her words, "Because you lost the most important woman of your life due to childbirth. Your mother, your mom, the only woman you ever considered your sister. Everyone."
Abhay leaned back his head and rested it on the wall, his eyes dropping due to all the retellings. Emotional baggage was tedious. But he wanted to say one last thing.
"And I never wanted to lose any other women I got in my life. So I took precautions."
Khusi's eyebrows furrowed. "What precautions?"
His gaze stopped at Khusi, holding her immobile. "Vasectomy."
"Woah! You were quite serious with never having any children of your own then." Khusi wasn't expecting Abhay to take such drastic measures. But his losses weren't to be taken lightly either. Life had taught him better.
"I didn't need it anymore. I had Yuti and she is quite a handful." Khus chuckled when Abhay made a weird hand gesture to portray the little devil.
She wanted to ask one last thing, but it didn't feel right. But Abhay had learned to read human expressions a long time ago. His job demanded a lot of that.
"She is my step niece. I don't have any blood relation with her, but there's no other man in this entire fucking world who could love Yuti as much as I do. She's my daughter, and as long as I am alive, I will always be her papa."
~ • • • • • ~
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