When I tell you that I regret nothing in adopting Jungwon in our circle of friends, I meant it.
Because after entering inside the boys's dorm, he was already there playing a game with Niki and Sunoo. The three lay in their chest as they faced the TV screen, all focus on winning over one another.
I stopped by the door, smiling at how fast they had become close. At this point, Jungwon will not feel Jay's absence too much. That's what I hope at least.
"Tell them to stop it and we're all going to the mall", Jake called out from behind me.
I walked up to them and crouched down besides Niki then snatch the controller away from his hand. His reaction was already expected.
"Aaah... why did you do that?", he complained so loudly.
"I have more chances winning then", Sunoo said to himself, smiling.
"Well, not anymore", Jake smirked before putting off the plug from the socket causing for the game to shut down at once.
Jungwon who has been obviously losing against the two only jumped up to his feet before looking at us while Niki is sulking and Sunoo just stopped himself from throwing a tantrum under my watch.
"The game was just about to get exciting!", Niki protested, gesturing both of his hands in the TV screen.
"You can continue it then. We'll bring Jungwon and Sunoo to the mall", Jake muttered as he gently pushed Sunoo in the direction of their bedroom.
To make it more enjoyable to watch, I added, "It would be more peaceful if Niki will be left alone here"
"There would be no noisy child then, that's a nice idea", Sunoo agreed with me. He then beckons Jungwon to follow him inside the bedroom.
He'll probably lend him some outfit to change of.
Niki blinked at all of us in disbelief before saying, "Hell no! Where Sunoo goes, I go there as well"
After saying it, he followed the two inside and closed the door, making me questioned afterwards on why the hell Sunoo is screaming followed by the laughters of Niki and Jungwon.
As we begin to wait for them, I sat down at the couch with Jake humming in contentment as he wrapped an arm around my waist.
He burrowed his nose into the crook of my neck and breathed in slowly before breathing out a deep content sigh that had me turning liquid against the strength of his chest.
"You are the most perfect thing in my life right now", he confessed, moving his head as though he wanted to burrow further into me.
I let out a sigh, "Heeseung wanted to talk to me later", I confessed as well.
He shook his head but insisted, "We can talk about that later. Right now, I just want to focus on you"
Turning to face Jake, I pushed at his chest when he refused to budge, "Stop it before they saw us being like this"
He stole a kiss, lingering against my laughing lips but eventually did as he was told especially when the door of the bedroom opens up to show Niki first. He takes one look at our position before he runs up to us and sat in between, his hands pushing us to the shoulders to give space.
"We should go now before you think of doing something else", he said with Jungwon and Sunoo nodding in the background.
Jake untangled the car keys that was dangling from the belt of his jeans and lifted it up to their eye level.
"What are we waiting for? Let's go babies", he said, not really needing to make it long.
For the reason, the three boys was already out the door and we were the ones who made sure all the windows is closed or even the key of the dorm was with them before we followed outside.
"Faster, small old man!", Niki riled up Jake as they now waited besides the car in the sidewalk.
"Old man?", Jungwon asked, still not used to the latter not really having much politeness to Jake.
This reminds me of all the times I've watched him did the same with Jay. For sure, sometimes the longing look in his eyes whenever he watched Jake and Niki shows that he misses him.
"Because Jake hyung is like a grandpa sometimes", Sunoo replied to him helpfully.
"Tell me again, Y/N, why did we become friends with that gremlin?", Jake asked to me as he pushed the button that opens the door for anyone in the car.
"It all happens when you defended him at McDonald's from a Karen woman", I offered.
He instantly smiled at the memory for it was the start of an unlikely friendship that time.
⚋
Every one of us looks to be having fun. Niki demanded too early to play in the arcade, only to want in competing over Jake to prove that he's a much better player while I joined Sunoo and Jungwon in the karaoke room.
In the meantime, Sunoo sings his favorite song and he's really enjoying himself. At one point, Jungwon is allowing Heeseung and Sunghoon to join us, and it's making me feel awkward to have the first one sit beside me, so I pour myself a drink.
Then the opening notes of a song begins. Every boys looks around, wondering who put it in, and when Heeseung finally weakly raised his hand, Sunoo gives a squeal of delight and everyone else hoots and hollers, shouting his name in encouragement.
Sunoo hands him the mic and he stand up. If nothing else, it'll be a good private joke with myself if he will sing it to me.
"I'm calling you up 'cause I'm missing you I don't even know what I'm gonna do", he sing the opening lyrics, instinctively looking at me as I turn to Sunghoon.
He's grinning at me as if to say this was for me.
"I say I don't care, that's not the truth Yeah, I'm still in love with you", Heeseung continues.
"Wow! You have a nice voice!", Jake said after he and Niki enters the room.
But then I'm not even looking at anyone anymore. Just at Heeseung as he sings the words to me. It's such a simple song. But it doesn't matter.
It's everything he want to say to me.
And I know all your friends, they hate me too
I wish that I was better at the things I do
I say I don't care, that's not the truth
Yeah, I'm still not over you
And right then, as Jake took the space beside me, something in my face changes. My mouth turns into a little O as I looked away from Heeseung and Jake stares at me. And that's when I realized: he now gets it.
He have finally gotten why Heeseung was singing that to me.
⚋
The song ends and all our friends all cheer for Heeseung. He simply step down from the mini platform, grabs my hand and leads me out the door.
My heart is pounding in time to whatever pop song is blaring from the karaoke machine in the center of the arcade.
Heeseung makes a beeline for the arcade's front door, pulling me in his wake. But as soon as we get outside, he lets go of my hand, puts his hand through his hair and then finally turns to look at me.
"What...", I start out of breath, "what was that?"
I realize I have two choices. I could feign ignorance.
He say it in his own words this time, the simplest words, "I love you, Y/N. I'm inlove with you"
I stared at him, frozen. Then I'm shaking my head and looking down at the floor. Then back at up at him. Over and over again.
There are decades of silence.
Finally, I break it, "I'm already with Jake. I'm sorry"
"I.. how? What does that mean?", he asked, looking so confused, "You used to like me. I can see it before"
"I don't know... it just happens", I said, not really wanting to stay longer.
"Just.. when?"
"I mean, I guess for a long time now", I start out slowly, "He confessed to me after you did. At first, it was nothing. But I realized over the time he got wasted that he's something. It's like I woke up the morning to seeing his face and I just knew"
I look at him and his chalk-white face and his mouth that can't seem to stop shaking, "Come on, Hee, you can't tell me you will be making this hard for me"
"Because you did make it hard for me!", he practically screams at my face.
I startle in the middle of my break down, "What can I do?"
"You made me hope for nothing", he says as he began to pace, his hand going practically through the back of his hair. "I'm sure you'll be mine because you keep on visiting me and letting me hang with your friends. And there were moments.."
He's staring at his hands, and I have to wonder if he's thinking of the first night he kissed me. I wait, wanting him to go on, but he doesn't.
Instead, just pacing back and forth in silence and making an absolute mess of his hair.
When I feel like I can't stand the silence another second, I miserably provided the word I know he's looking for, "I'm sorry, Heeseung"
After a few more interminable moments, he finally stops pacing right in front of me and look down at me, "I have to go and collect my thoughts about this"
He then left too quickly.
I think my own heart has dropped somewhere well below my body, down into the concrete. Because I get what he's saying.
He understood where I'm coming from, but for now, he needs space before he could talk to me again.
⚊
Heeseung is out now. Only Jake in the competition.