~ ryder ~
Grayson and I don't quite know how to act since everyone around us right now are from our school. I obviously don't give a fuck what people think about me but I don't want anyone to think I'm just one of Grayson's little hookups. He doesn't seem to mind as he continuously approached me throughout the night.
"You want another shot?" he swung his arm around me pulling me close. I was currently talking to Veronica who was getting more and more drunk by the minute. I seemed to be the only one out of the three of us that didn't drink that much.
"You didn't have enough already?" I sassed raising my eyebrow at him. This sparked a roll of the eyes from him.
"Oh my god mom you're so annoying" his arm left my shoulder and his eyes darted to Veronica. "Shot?"
"Sure" she laughed. I watched as they walked towards the kitchen both of them in drunk giggles. I felt a pang of jealously hit me. I shook my head physically, trying to remind myself there is absolutely nothing going on between the two of them. I mean fuck, they're practically siblings.
But, as I looked over at the two I watched as Grayson pulled her into his chest in a tight hug after they both downed a shot. My jaw clenched tightly. Gray's eyes darted up as if he sensed my stare sending me a smile. He accompanied it with a wink still holding Veronica to his chest. Whether it was meant as an asshole move or just his usual playful flirting, it pissed me the fuck off.
I quickly looked away and looked around the room. Fate was on my side as I spotted Cranford from across the room. I smirked making my way over to him, a sudden confidence filling my body. His gaze moved from the baseball friends he was speaking with to my eyes, then roaming up and down my body, then back to my eyes. I resisted the urge to roll mine and put on a fake smile.
I looked at the nearly full cup in his hands. My hands reacted before my mind as I grabbed it out of his hands and chugged the whole thing. I was going to need to be a hell of a lot more drunk if I was going to flirt with Cranford.
"That was pretty hot" He leant in speaking in my ear due to the loud noise overtaking the room. I tilted my head causing the ridiculous pig tails on my head sway to the side.
"Yeah, well now your cup seems to be empty" I frowned. "Care for another?"
He smirked grabbing my hand saying a quick goodbye to his friends and dragging me to the kitchen. "Shot or beer?" he asked still leaning in close to me.
"Both!" I yelled a bit standing on my toes to speak closer to his face. I look of shock took over his face and his eyes darted back and forth between my own.
A mocking pout then took over his face, "Damn, I thought you were going to want to go shot for shot with me"
"Oh, you're so on" I shoved him lightly laughing.
And the game played out as we were on our 6th shot each. His face screwed up in obvious disgust.
"Aw, what's wrong?" my bottom lip jutted out. "Pussying out already?"
He set both his hands on the counter gathering his composure. I bursted out in laughter definitely feeling the effects of the past drinking. I stumbled slightly as I also held onto the counter to steady myself.
Suddenly, I felt a hand be placed on my lower back. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up meeting those annoying gray ones.
"I think you've had enough to drink" Grayson spoke into my ear just as Cranford had done. My eyes rolled once again.
"Quit being a hypocrite just because you're jealous" I barked at him sparking a laugh from Cranford. Grayson instantly snapped his head meeting the eyes of a smirking Cranford.
"She doesn't want you bro. Take the hint" he smiled glancing over at me. I had to bit my lip to stop myself from rebutting his statement. A sarcastic laugh left Grayson's body.
"Oh please and you think she wants you?" he raised his eyebrows both amusement and sarcasm laced in his voice.
"Who has she been spending her night with, huh?" Cranford bit back purposely egging Gray on.
"She's just using you to make me jealous dipshit" Grayson now sounded annoyed. Although a deep deep part of me wanted to admit that may be true I couldn't help but let my pride get in the way.
"Oh my god Grayson, is it that hard to believe that I can't stand you? I'm not trying to make you jealous. I just don't fucking like you and wanted to talk to Cranford" I snapped.
Cranford has a winning smile on his face. I was instantly flooded with guilt but I couldn't let Grayson think he has some kind of power over me.
Gray cleared his throat before turning and walking away without a word. I wanted to follow him and tell him I didn't mean it but I was interrupted when Cranford placed another shot in front of me.
"Lucky number 7 baby," he held his own up waiting for me to cheers with him.
fuck it, I thought as I clinked my glass against his.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At this point in the night I was backed up against the wall with a set of lips pressed to my neck. My alcoholic state has taken over as I did actually find myself enjoying it. But when his eyes lifted up to meet mine I was met with chocolate brown ones instead of a luring gray.
He sent me a quick smirk before diving in again, this time pressing his lips to my own. My drunk mind took over as I pictured Grayson in front of me. With that thought I looped my arms around Cranford's neck pulling him closer.
I felt him grin into the kiss obviously thinking I was enjoying this just as much as he was. He was dead fucking wrong about that one.
We both finally pulled away as I put a fake smile on my face.
"You know, when I first started flirting with you I never thought there was a shot in hell that you would actually hook up with me" Cranford grinned wickedly looking down at me.
"Me neither" I shrugged honestly earning a laugh from him. It felt like the first genuine interaction we had all night.
One of his baseball friends caught his attention causing him to turn away slightly. His body was still close to mine but his head moved to the side.
This gave me the chance to look around the room and take in my surroundings. My eyes instantly roamed the different faces trying to find my 3 friends.
Ew, did I just call the boys my friends? Gross.
My eyes found Nick first. He sat on the large couch in the living room. He had one girl on his lap essentially trying to suck his face off while another sat on his side clawing at his arm, obviously pouting from the lack of attention she was receiving. He took a break from lap girl and used his hand to grab the other girls chin pulling her into a kiss. I rolled my eyes at his fuck boy behavior.
Next I saw Veronica. I was slightly worried I would find her sitting by herself in some corner but you could understand my surprise when I found her standing on the far side of the room with her shoulder leaning against the wall talking to Toby. They seemed to be getting along well as she wore a big smile on her face and he kept looking down with a small one then looking back up at her. It looked like she actually speaking instead of her silent, shy self. Toby definitely looked like he was interested in whatever she was saying.
Finally, I looked for the one person I both wanted and didn't want to see. I spotted him leaning back against the kitchen counter. That dumb, stupid bitch Kylie stood in front of him with an obvious flirting persona. Her long daggers occasionally traced up and down his arms. Grayson's body language seemed to be a bit stand-offish like he would rather be anywhere else but there. Both jealousy and relief filled my system, although his mood certainly seemed deflated. I wondered if it had anything to do with what I said.
"Aha - You were trying to make him jealous" Cranford's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I quickly looked at him only to meet a small knowing smile. "You know, you could have just told me you wanted to spark some jealousy from him instead of pretending to be into me"
For the second time tonight guilt took over my body. I don't want to admit to myself that I was doing this both out of jealousy and spite but deep down I know it's true.
"I'm sorry" I sighed. An apology from me was rare but I do think I actually owe Cranford one. "I honestly didn't even realize the reason I was doing it"
"It's pretty obvious you're both stubborn and want to just deny your feelings for each other" he was still smiling hinting that he wasn't too bothered by the situation. "Listen, next time just tell me you're trying to make him jealous and I'll gladly comply. In fact I'll even step up my game to make it even better. I'll never pass up the chance to flirt and hookup with a pretty girl"
"You're actually pretty nice Cranford. I didn't expect that from you". Yes, technically I was insulting him but I really was just being honest.
He let out a loud laugh nodding in agreement. "Yeah most people expect me to be a douchebag, which in fairness I sort of am. But us jocks definitely don't get along with those motorcycle heads so any opportunity to fuck with them is fine with me"
I rolled my eyes but laughed along with him.
"Maybe you should go back and hang out with your friends; Don't want to waste a good night ya know?" He spoke proceeding to take a sip of his drink.
In a turn of events I reached up and hugged him smiling into his neck. "Thank you" I said into his ear then kissed him on the cheek. He just smiled and tipped his drink at me, as if to say you're welcome.
I turned around with a new found relaxed happiness in my bones. I was ready to have a good night.
But we all know with our bunch, that isn't likely to happen.
The first person I went to approach was Veronica but a confused expression took over my face as she was no longer in her spot against the wall. My eyes searched for her but I couldn't find the cute playboy bunny. I tried not to panic knowing she was probably fine and just off in the kitchen somewhere.
My next option was to go up to Nick who was now occupied by a different group of girls. I rolled my eyes walking up to him and stood in front of couch with my hands on my hips.
"Have you seen Veronica?" I tried to shout since he was a bit away from me and the music played loud.
Still he raised a hand to his ear, "What?" he asked loudly.
"Have you seen Veronica?" I yelled even louder but to no prevail he still couldn't hear me. He rolled his eyes tapping the girl's hip who was placed on his lap. With a childish huff she got up crossing her arms. I resisted the urge to shove her out of my way but instead leaned down and put my arm on the back of the couch for support. I leaned close to his ear repeating myself for a third fucking time. "I said, have you seen Veronica? I can't find her and she isn't where I saw her last"
He just shrugged taking a sip of the bottle of vodka that sat on the table in front of him. "I have no clue cutie. Probably to take more shots or something"
I rolled my eyes for the hundredth time tonight at Nick's lack of caring for the girl he likes.
"Great, thanks for nothing dipshit" my words didn't seem to affect him as he simply nudged me out of the way and pulled the previous girl next to him on the couch. I glanced at the other occupied couch to see Heath and Toby engaged in a conversation. Well actually, it looked more like Toby explaining some scientific theory to Heath — who seemed like he couldn't care less.
I took a few steps over to them figuring they would serve more help than dipshit over there.
"Hey, have you guys seen Veronica? Last time I saw her she was talking to you" I directed the question at Toby.
"When I was talking to her she said she needed some fresh air and was going to go outside. I offered to go with her but she said she needed a few moments alone. I think she said she was going into the backyard". See I knew Tobias would be a lot more help than the idiotic fuckboy over there.
"Cool, thank you" I sighed ready to head to my next destination. "By the way, you guys would make the cutest little nerd babies" I smirked.
He blushed lightly as Heath nudged his arm as if he was trying to tell him the same thing.
"Bye guys, thank you!" I waved before I could embarrass Toby even more.
My feet navigated me through the array of people trying to make it to Nick's back door. I have to admit some of the costumes people were wearing are actually pretty dope. I'm glad I'm not the only one that decided to go all out for Halloween.
I opened the back door and quickly spotted Veronica who held both her arms as if she was cradling herself. I breathed out in relief until I saw the panicked expression her face. My eyes quickly followed the direction she was looking at.
As I spotted what caught her attention, I watched as Grayson's fist slammed into the guy that stood in front of him.
~ grayson ~
I watched as the girl I liked locked lips with the stupid jock across the room. Her arms wrapped around his neck pulling him closer. I couldn't stand to watch any longer as I felt like I might get sick.
"So then she fucked Hailee's boyfriend and the two of them starting screaming at each other. But they're both on the cheer team so it's going to be so awkward when they see each other at practice— Grayson! Are you even listening to me?"
My eyes reluctantly made their way back to Kylie as I stared at her raised eyebrows and hands on her hips. When she gave me attitude she's just being a bitch. But when Ryder does the same thing I can't help to think how adorable she looks.
"Not really, no" I answered honestly. I was done entertaining everyone's fake ass bullshit.
"Ugh, you're such an asshole" she pouted. "But you're cute so it makes up for it" a smirk came across her face. I watched as she tried to lean in to press her lips against mine but I quickly shoved her away lightly. Not enough to make her lose her balance, but enough where she understood I didn't want to kiss her.
She groaned running her fingers up and down my arm. "What's been wrong with you lately? It's like you never want to be with me anymore. I thought we had something special"
The comment actually made me laugh out loud earning a glare from Kylie. "I don't like you and I've told you that. I don't date, I just do hookups. Even if I were to commit to someone, it wouldn't be someone as vile and bitchy as you". My words were harsh but I've made it damn obvious that I want nothing more with her than the occasional hookup.
"You don't mean that" she tried to reason with me and didn't lash out like I expected her to. "You're just distracted by that dumb bitch who's causing a bunch of unnecessary drama in your life. I miss the days when it was just you and me sneaking off to the janitors closet during lunch, or fucking in your room into the late hours"
I took a step closer to her moving my face inches from hers. "Don't you dare ever call her that again"
I felt anger boil inside me. I knew it was hypocritical because I treated her like shit for so long but I'm getting mad at someone calling her a simple name.
Kylie responded in some sort of rant but I didn't listen as I watched Veronica walk past me. It looked like she was heading towards the backyard. She sent me a small smile on the way signaling she seemed to be okay. I decided going to talk to her would be a viable option compared to arguing with Kylie right now. I'm sure Nick was busy with girls while Ryder was tongue fucking Cranford.
I left mid-rant really not caring if I was being rude. As I opened the door outside I scanned the crowd but couldn't seem to find my shy friend. With a sigh I walked to the side of the house leaning against it. I pulled out a pack of cigarettes lighting one quickly. Again, not a normal habit of mine but one that takes over my when stress is eating away at my body.
Blowing the smoke out I looked towards the sky. It was a clear sky, the stars fully visible lighting up the backyard. The moon was full which was ironic for it being a Halloween night.
My thoughts took over as I couldn't help but be reminded of my change in mode. It's like I could go from being unbelievably happy, on top of the world, to filled with this stupid depressing feeling in my stomach.
I didn't want to be sick. Mentally I mean. It feels unfair that my mom is going through all of this shit while I'm complaining about a little mood change. But I can't help the racing thoughts or the twitch of my hands or the urge to chug alcohol to the constant feeling of wanting to cry/rage out.
With a frustrated sigh I inhaled the toxic chemical again loving the feeling of harmful shit coursing through my veins. I must have been in my thoughts for quite some time because my attention was quickly taken when I heard a familiar, usually quiet voice, yell out.
"Get off of me! Don't touch me!" she sounded desperate and scared.
I was quick to react running over to the sound of her voice. I saw Veronica held in a tight grip pushed against some douchebag. They were chest to chest as the guy kissed her neck and Ronnie struggled to get free. The unmoving arm around her waist prevented her from escaping his grasp.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I barked anger clearly present in my voice. This seemed to finally snap realization in him as the dumbass let go. He turned to me and I recognized him from the football team — Richie I think his name was.
His movement towards me allowed Veronica to get away from him. I instinctively grabbed her hand and pulled her behind me. After I was sure she was safe from harm I reached out grasping the shirt of the dumb bitch in front of me. My knuckles turned white as my grip grew tighter. This fucker had a smile on his face which I knew I was about to punch off very soon.
"You think this is funny? " I shook him hard. "You think touching drunk fucking girls without their consent is fucking funny?"
I pushed him away hard causing him to stumble both from the force and his drunken state. I looked back at Veronica who had her arms wrapped around herself with a worried look on her face. Whether she was shaken up from what just happened or she was scared about the events that are about to pursue, I'm not sure. Either way it won't stop me from beating his ass.
I couldn't help but picture Ryder in that situation. Someone touching her without her permission. Their lips on her neck and tight grip around her waist. The fact that this fucker thinks it's okay to do to any girl is fucking disgusting. But he could of done it to the girl I lov— The girl I like it. And he did it to a girl that is basically my fucking sister.
"You won't do shit pussy" the asshole smiled widely. "Besides I'm sure the slut enjoyed it—"
He didn't get to finish that sentence because my fist met his face. This sent him stumbling backwards. Props to him for actually staying on his feet. The large football player quickly charged me, sending both of us to the ground. I'll admit he was a big guy so there was definitely power behind his punches. I was able to get a few in but he had me pinned putting me at a disadvantage.
"Someone go get fucking Nick!" I heard some dude from the crowd that I assume formed around us. They probably wanted him to come since it's his party. Since I'm a dumbass and I literally got lost in my thoughts in the middle of a fight, I was surprised to meet a hard knee to my stomach.
"Get the fuck off him!" the other familiar voice shouted out. I looked to my left to see Ryder pissed off, looking like she was about to join the fight. With a new found strength I quickly flipped the two of us over and sent an elbow to the kid's face. His head jolted back against the ground in shock.
I looked over at Ryder once again. "Don't you dare fucking join" my tone was venomous, threatening, and very deadly. She gritted her teeth but I shifted my focus to the fucker under me. I punched him again before another voice rang.
"Yo, yo. Peace and love at my parties man. What's going on?" Leave it to Nick to make light of a situation like this. "C'mon Grayson man, get off of him"
It took Nick and a few other dudes to pull me off of him. My chest rose up and down and I couldn't seem to catch my breath.
"You're good man" Nick patted my chest, still putting distance between me and the kid on the floor who was now trying to make his way to his feet. "You're good"
Ryder took his place as Nick went up to Veronica who still looked shaken up.
"Babe" he spoke softly. "Baby what happened?" He's going to be in for a real fucking shock when he finds out.
"Hey," a small voice caused me to look down. "Gray, it's alright. You're okay"
I'm glad she didn't ask me what happened because if I mentioned it I would probably go whoop his ass again. I searched her eyes and the thought of her being in a situation like that once again filled my head. I brought her into my arms in a sudden movement. She was quick to reciprocate as her small arms wrapped around my torso.
"Just breathe okay? You have to breath" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The feeling of the cute, comforting girl helped me to calm down slightly. We broke from our embrace as Nick's irritated voice spoke up.
"All right what the fuck happened?" he threw his arms up. He seemed frustrated with Veronica as my guess is she didn't want to tell him. When I realized no one would speak up I felt the anger rise in me again.
"He touched her" I growled. I pointed a finger at the out of breath fucker standing a few feet away from me. "He was fucking all over and she was trying to get away. Probably would of done more if I didn't step in"
Nick's demeanor was incredibly fast to change.
"You did fucking what?" he seethed in calm, low voice; One that didn't match his usual persona whatsoever. "You" he pointed at Richie, "touched my girl?"
"She's not your girl bro" he spat out a mouthful of blood. "Both you fuckers coming in here acting like you own the place. Who do you even know here? I got people here bro. I do whatever the fuck I want"
I almost wanted to laugh at his stupidity.
"So let me get this straight" Nick took a few steps towards him. "You come to my party. You touch my girl. And you fight my best friend"
Aw, he called me his best friend. How sweet.
"Y-You live here?" his tone changed as he now had fear laced in his voice.
"Y-yeah I do fuckface" Nick mocked him.
"Listen man I'm sorry, I didn't know" he held his hands up in surrender. Nick let out a loud, sarcastic laugh.
"Nick it's okay. Just leave it be" Veronica's voice spoke out. It was now much softer than her panicked tone early. Nick's head snapped towards her, a deadly anger in his eyes.
"Are you seriously fucking defending him?" his voice was filled with complete shock. "Shut the fuck up Veronica".
"Hey watch it" Ryder detached herself from me pointing a finger at him.
"She gets fucking assaulted and is taking his side" Nick sounded like he was in utter disbelief.
"That doesn't give you an excuse to speak to her like an asshole" Ryder got closer to him.
I looked past Nick only to discover Richie nowhere to be seen. He must of escaped during my friends brief interaction. I wanted to punch something, preferably Richie but a wall would suffice, yet I held it in when I saw Veronica watching her two friends interaction with a scared expression. Ryder was right when she said Veronica is just a sweet girl with a good life. She isn't used to seeing shit like this. I was able to swallow my anger as I approached her and put my hands on each of her arms.
"Hey, hey. You're okay" her head was hung low as she stared at the ground. "Look at me, it's okay" I moved my hands to her face pulling her head up to look in my eyes.
"You're a self-entitled piece of shit that gets whatever he wants. You're disgusting" I heard Ryder shout.
"Jesus Christ you're fucking delusional. I was sticking up for my girl and somehow I'm the one getting screamed at right now" Nick defended against her.
"Oh my god, she's not your girl! You can't just call her that when it's convenient for you!"
That one hit as I know that could apply to me as well. I consider Ryder my girl when I'm on some sort of mood swing, the next day I'm bitching her out.
"God, you're such a fucking asshole" Ryder growled at him.
"This is all my fault. None of this would have happened if it wasn't for me" Veronica freaked out. She grabbed my wrists, in which my hands were still holding her face.
"Stop that, no it's not. None of this should even be happening right now. Everyone is just freaking out but that's not your fault. You had no control over that guy touching you without your consent. You have no control over all this shit that happened after" I spoke softly to her.
"Oh fucking look" Ryder's voice was heard with obvious annoyance and sarcasm held in it. "The lovely couple is having a moment while I'm defending one of them and was comforting the other".
I felt Veronica's face contort into one of confusion. She lightly pushed my hands off which I happily complied with.
"Ryder what are you talking about?" Veronica asked with genuine confusion laced within her.
"Please" she scoffed. "Don't act like you don't know. I can practically feel the tension radiating between the two of you. Tonight in the kitchen? Him beating someone up for you? Him literally cradling you as Nick and I stand here like idiots?" She wanted to say more, I know she did. I could tell she was biting her tongue and controlling her tone in order not to snap at her.
"This is fucking ridiculous" Nick dragged his hands down his face. He aggressively ran his fingers through his hair.
"It's not like that" Veronica quickly defended. "Oh my gosh, it's not like that at all"
I gritted my teeth and walked away. I can't deal with this. I feel something boiling inside me. It's like this little switch, some sort of trigger or something, that initiates another mood swing. I walked away from the argument resisting the urge to punch something or pull out a cig.
"Grayson and I would never" Veronica spoke but it felt distant.
"Yeah besides she's too busy spending her night with Toby" Nick's voice grew smaller.
"This is so fucking stupid. How bout you just fuck Grayson and everyone's little problems will be solved!" Ryder's voice was practically non-existent. I wanted to cover my ears. I wanted to scream. I wanted to clench my jaw so hard that it breaks. I didn't know if the fighting continued for another few seconds, minutes, or hours. All I heard was the whispers of arguments and my thoughts loudly pounding against my head.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP" I snapped. "All of you—Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Do you guys even realize how fucking idiotic and toxic you sound? Jesus Christ none of us should even be in each other's lives at this point if it means we have to deal with shit like this every fucking time we're all together. Veronica was assaulted by a douchebag. Please someone fucking enlighten me in how this night ended up with all of us screaming at each other. This is some of the stupidest shit I've ever had to deal with. We have all these damn people staring at us like we're crazy. Have you guys forgotten that we're at an actual party right now and everyone is watching us?"
Everyone was silent. I swallowed hard but hide my anxiety and embarrassment of losing it like that. My eyes flickered among the shocked faces that surrounded us. Random people I've never seen before looked upon this shit show that should never have happened in the first place.
"Let's go take a shot or have a beer and just pretend the last part of this night never happened. Let's just have a good night like I know we can. Please" I practically begged.
Nick was the first to speak up. "Yeah let's take a shot" He nodded.
"That's fine with me" Ryder's tone was a lot calmer.
Veronica smiled gently nodding her head.
Nick threw his arm around Ryder and grasped Veronica's hand. He finally wore his usual smile on his face.
"Holy shit, we are toxic as fuck" Nick laughed shaking his head.
I swiped some blood from my nose that I hadn't noticed since the fight. I watched group of three walk towards the house. Ryder turned slightly, still in Nick's embrace, and waved at me to join them. This caused a small smile to form on my face.
We may fight, but we're always there for each other. We always have each other's back and that's not changing anytime soon. I hope at least.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
pro tip: the mental hospital is not exactly fun LOL
sorry i've been so inactive, i haven't exactly been around but i'm back!!!
hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
trust me, i know this group has their challenges and it's hard to handle but plz remember a lot of their backgrounds are based around the fact that they don't have love and healthy relationships at home so they don't really know how to navigate important bonds in their life.
please vote, comment or message me with any suggestions, criticism or just general opinions on the story and the characters within it
peace n love <3