My mom and my sister couldn't drop me off back at my house fast enough. Karyn wouldn't stop being her snotty, snippy, passive-aggressive self and of course, my mother could do nothing to assuage her. I wouldn't allow her to ruin my mood, though. I was about to catch my first glimpse of Kaim's place and that made me very excited. Just the thought of being near Kaim, especially after that picture he sent me, excited me even more, however.
"I hope you had a fun time out with us today," my mom said as I began to exit the car. "We should all hang out more often. I thought today was lovely."
I thought my mom had a classic case of selective memory. "Ah, sure Mom, of course. With the wedding coming up soon, I'm sure we'll be spending a lot of time together."
"Don't forget that you have your duties with regard to my wedding, Zara." My mother and I gave Karyn an annoyed look. "You may not be the Maid of Honor, but you are a bridesmaid nonetheless."
"Yes, how could I ever forget?" To this day, I don't know what possessed me to agree to it in the first place. I'd sooner give her a dragon punch than help fluff out her train. "You just let me know, and I will do my best."
"Oh, don't worry - I will. Just...try not to get to distracted too much by your...friend." Her tone had so much cattiness, I feared that actual cats would sue her. "But then again, who knows? It might not even be an issue by then."
You...bitch. "Why don't you worry about your nuptials and I'll worry about my beautiful, gorgeous friend, all right?"
"If you say so," she said as she tossed her hair. "I'm just saying..."
"I know what you're saying - and it's duly noted." She didn't like the edge in my tone, but I could have cared less. "Night, guys. Call me when you get home, Mom."
"Will do, lovely!"
I didn't even bother to watch them drive off - I was too busy seething. Just what the hell was her problem anyway? It's like she had a permanant case of PMS. I'm two seconds away from catching a case myself if she keeps opening her big fat mouth!
But, I digress. I reminded myself that my happy, sexy fun time with Gorgeous Blue Eyes was coming, and nothing would ruin it. It wasn't lost on me that I was pretty shallow to crave his body as much as I did, but damn it, when you've got a hot boy giving you daily body worship without disgust of reproach, it is imperative that all moments be savored and appreciated.
I couldn't call that man fast enough if I tried, even if I used voice-dialing. "Well, hello there. Is it okay to come and get you now?"
"Yes, please, I insist," I said, breathless from rushing up the stairs. "The sooner the better."
"Did you like my picture earlier?" he asked, sounding amused. "I don't how you ladies do it. Maybe I should have asked for help instead of just picking some random dress of the shelf."
"Oh yes, I liked it. In fact I liked it so much that I'm half tempted to share it with the world?"
He burst out laughing. "You wouldn't!"
"What? And miss the opportunity to show the world what a lucky girl I am? Never! I have a reason to gloat, and damn it, that's what I intend to do...unless..."
"Unless what?"
"Unless you somehow managed to get here in ten minutes to pick me up." I've got the slyest smile on my face. "Then, I'd be more inclined to keep this to myself..."
"I'm heading out the door right!" I could hear him huffing it to the door, too. Oh hell yes. "I'll be right there."
He didn't even say goodbye - he just ended the call. Not that I was bad - I was too busy grabbing a few things in an overnight bag and spritzing all a little perfume to add to the allure. In an amazing showing of speed without getting in trouble with the Po-Po, Kaim made it to my house in nine minutes precisely, not a second more or a second less.
"Did I get here in time?" he huffed and puffed.
"Oh yeah." I have never such punctuality! "You did. And I'm happy for that. But please forgive me if I keep your picture for those long, cold, and lonely nights."
"Nothing wrong with that." His eyes were absolutely devilish. "Especially since you won't be looking at it again since I have no intention of having you cold or lonely."
This man...damn...
Like a gentleman, he helped me into his sleek black car, making sure I was all settled before coming around to his side. And like a proper girlfriend-slash-sex kitten, I reached around and opened the door for him, returning the favor.
Wait...was I his girlfriend, really? I still didn't know what I was to him - what this relationship was in the first place. Oh yeah, we have plenty of fun together, and the sex, good God, the sex was on fire. He was kind enough to send me that picture to me when I needed a pick me up, but he could have just did that as a gesture of goodwill to keep the fiery intercourse coming.
Not that he needed to work that far, honestly.
We never really even talked about it. There just seemed to be this attract between us and we acted it out in many different ways, in various states of undress. I was getting attached. I really liked Kaim - hell, I was falling for him. But I was afraid to tell him this. I didn't want to open up and tell him the truth, only to have him laugh in my face saying "Haha, bitch you crazy!" while running away with a beautiful blonde supermodel who magically appeared the moment my heart broken in a million tiny pieces.
Yes, I'd given a lot of thought to my dilemma.
In any case, my thoughts were temporarily pushed aside as we pulled into the garage of his apartment building, indeed just about fifteen minutes away from my house - that is if you weren't looking. I caught once glance and my breath hitched. What a difference fifteen minutes made - while I lived in a small but respectable apartment in a hipster neighborhood, Kaim lived in Lincoln Square, a group of stylish but ridiculously expensive loft apartments that I'd lusted after for years but pretty much gave up on the prospect of ever living in one.
He must be one hell of a designer.
"You live here?" I asked in disbelief. "You...live here?"
"Yes, I do. At least, that's the apartment hunter said." He smiled an amused smile. "You seem surprised."
"Well, yeah, I guess I am," I said as the door slide open and we made our way down the hall. "This place has a reputation of being the chi-chi-est of the chi-chi. I do okay for myself, but these places are supposed to be very expensive."
"There is no 'supposed to be' - they are." We walked up in front of apartment number 403, the jingling of his eyes echoing in my ears. "But it seems that finding housing in this area is pretty tough, and everywhere else was way too high. I'm pleased with my choice, though - this is a nice place to live, though your place is pretty nice, too."
"You think so?"
"I know so." I watched as he unlatched the door, turning the knob. "Here - see for yourself."
As the door opened wide and the lights flickered on with a quiet hum, I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. My eyes took in quite possibly the most elegant bachelor pad I had ever seen in my life, outfitted in a sleek color scheme of white, gray, and black that would make even the most dutiful Ikea designer envious. The hardwood floors were so shiny and sleek, I could make out my reflection. Various curios gave character his house, including African Masks, Indian Elephant figurines, and even a bonsai tree on a console right behind his couch. Never have ever felt so poor and miniscule in my life. "Are you kidding? Compared to this place, I live in a dump!"
"That's not true," he said with a laugh. "Your place is wonderful and cozy."
"Is that polite-speak for 'the bums in cardboard boxes have bigger places that I do'? Because if it is, it's totally true, and they don't even have to pay rent." I felt woefully inadequate. It's bad enough to feel like a pig with lipstick in front of a slender cheetah, but it's even worse when you're a pig dressed in rags, and that cheetah is wearing Prada. "Because if it is, you'd be right."
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Zara." The seriousness of his tone caught me off-guard. "I got most of this stuff either at a secondhand store of off craigslist. There's a shop down the way that specializes in sell the swankier stuff without the swankier price. Where do you think I got that pretty little dress from?"
I made a mental note to visit that store when I had a free moment. "Point taken. Still - you're a better decorator than I am. This place is amazing."
An impish grin spread across his face as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "So, does that mean you'll come here and keep me warm from time-to-time?"
I gave him a grin of my own. "Hell, I'll be you own personal, live-in housekeeper if that means I get to spend time in this place, feeling the hardwood on my feet. Oh, speaking of which." I slipped off my kitten heels, the feel of cool smoothness of the floor pleasing to my weary feet. "Been meaning to do that since I got in here."
"Long day?"
"Yes, very." A wave of fatigue washed over my entire body. My legs reminded me of jelly more than muscle with bone, and I wondered how long it would be before I'd slide down onto the floor, dozing off. "My sister was just as I expected she be - a total ass. My mom tried to help, but she couldn't do much."
"Sounds like fun times to me," he replied, sarcasm coating his tone. "I'm guessing they interrogated you about me as well?"
"Of course they did, but I didn't say anything. What can I say, I'm terrible at sharing." My sister's vitrolic insinuations replayed in my head. "She was quick to question why you'd have anything to do with me."
"What? Why would she ask that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" I moved my hands up and down my sides. "You're you and I am me - a usual impossibility. I'm surprised she didn't demand that I produce your medical records so she could determine if you are blind or have serious eye problems."
"My eyesight is perfect, thank you very much. And it's a good thing too, because I know I like what I say."
Schoolgirls had nothing on my giggling. "Ah, as much as I enjoy this flirtation, you did bring me here for a reason."
His entire face lit up. "Indeed, I did. Thank you for reminding me. It's a good thing too, because I'm starting to feel a bit tired myself. So, you know what that means?"
"No, actually I don't," I told him, perplexed."
"Ah, but you will. And with that, I need you to follow me, please."
Kaim shuffled me toward the back his apartment before I could get in another word. My heart punched at my rib cage several times and I tried to tell myself that I didn't need to worry, that it's all good. It felt like time itself around me seemed to be slowing, that something was coming that may be amazing or deleterious. But then I thought to myself, and it hit me.
This anxiety, both genuine and sexual - I've never felt this way for anyone else before. Only Kaim.
I could see him smiling that secret smile, the one that says he knows everything that will happen, that he can't wait to tell me. The warmth that spilled from his fingers lulled me into a sense of security, but I couldn't relax completely. Not until I solved this anticipatory puzzle.
"Don't worry," he whispered. He could see the fear, the uncertainty on my face. "You'll like this. It won't work if you aren't ready to relax."
I nodded as he opened the rich mahogany door - our destination. Just as I'd begun to accept that my meager apartment really wasn't a bad place to live, Kaim's bathroom spread out before me, a zen-like work of art befitting of HGTV. Dressed in marble, cream-colored walls, and smooth ceramics, the sight of it made me want to just burst out crying, cursing my dinky bathroom for being so old and decrepit.
"Here we are," Kaim whisper, sweeping an arm over. "Now, I know, there's something unusual about bringing a lady to your bathroom, but for what I have in mind, it's very appropriate."
"It's beautiful," I whisper, breathless from its splendor. "Like out of a magazine."
"Funny, the apartment hunter said the same thing. I wouldn't know, really." Pulling me close, my heart slowed to a crawling lull as his eyes gestured to the side. "I guess you'd like to know what I meant earlier, huh?" I couldn't find my voice at all. I just nodded. "When I'm feeling tired and stressed, especially after a long day of coding, I'll take a bath sometimes to relax myself - sometimes. Usually when I'm feeling confident in my manliness."
I couldn't stop myself from snickering. "I don't think you ever have to worry about that."
"I'll try to keep that in mind." The gaze of those gorgeous blue eyes were firm now, and that's when I knew it. This was it - this was the moment of truth, and I knew I wouldn't like it. "Join me - please."
Join me, please. The hit was hard and fast with enough momentum to tear me out of his arms. Everything hurt like hell - my throat burned, my stomached turned, and tears formed in my eyes. I turned away so he couldn't see my pain or my insecurities. A million bitter memories burned the lining of my throat, and my reality seemed very hard to swallow.
"Zara?" Kaim rushed behind me, concerned. "Zara, what is it? What's wrong?"
A million different emotions were summed up in two little words. "I can't."