"This is literally the hardest thing I've ever done,"
You and Sasha stood in front of that gigantic wall of costumes in the Spirit Halloween. Most of them had been plucked off, leaving a few good options. There was a Sally costume from the Nightmare before Christmas and a pair of yellow bob wigs.
"I could go as Olaf!" Sasha said, "No, that'd be stupid," She rubbed her temples out of pure stress.
You laughed a bit, "What about Merida?" You asked, eyeing the brave dress in the right corner.
"My hair isn't that red, it's auburn," She said, flipping it to the side, leaving behind the aroma of coconut in its wake.
"I know, I'm just thinking out loud here," You marveled, "I didn't even think I was going until E-" You stopped yourself.
"Who?" She asked. You took a beat.
"Armin," you corrected, "Asked me about it,"
Sasha shook it off, "I hear he's going as Wesley and Annie's going as Buttercup... a whole couple moment," She said.
"That's so cute though," You sighed, "I'd love to do a cute couples costume,"
"Do one with Jean or something," Sasha crossed her arms, you shivered at the thought, you were focused mainly on a costume with Eren, daydreaming about going as vampires with fake blood dribbling down each of your chins and Eren's fake teeth flashing with his usual grin.
"I'll pass on that one," You said, scanning the left side of the wall and stumbling across black angel wings, which gave you an idea.
"Y/n, what'd ya find?" Sasha asked, looking at a sparkly green witch's hat. you grinned as you pulled off a short black skirt, a pair of fishnet tights, and a black corset, along with the black angel wings.
"A fallen angel," You smiled.
"That's not FAIR!" Sasha whined, "I'm gonna have to go as like a crazy witch or something,"
"Go as Daphne, and then have Jean and Connie go as Fred and Shaggy," You proposed. Sasha's mouth hung open.
"Wait why is that kinda good?" She grinned, plucking a green bandana off of the wall and going with you to the checkout.
"Let's pregame at my house, I'll have Mikasa over too, we can all hang out beforehand," She said, texting Jean and Connie about your revelation.
"Sounds good," you said, handing all the stuff to the cashier and smiling politely at them as they rang you up.
***
"So," Sasha said, curling the ends of her hair, "Are we getting fucked up tonight?"
"It depends," Mikasa said, "Do we feel like throwing up?"
"Nope, absolutely not," you said.
"I feel like I could handle it," Sasha said, confidently.
"You can't handle your alcohol, Sash," Mikasa laughed, "None of us can, really,"
"Well, we're young and hot," Sasha said, "We don't need to be perfect,"
"I just don't feel like dealing with puke tonight," Mikasa said, pulling the orange crop top over her bra, she decided to go as Velma with Sasha since she needed a costume idea as well.
"We won't throw up," Sasha said, "I swear,"
"You better not, remember Connie's?" Mikasa said, laughing.
Sasha started cackling, "Oh man! Y/n, you should've seen it!" She smacked her forehead, "Ugh, you went away so quickly, I saw you for like a millisecond, what were you doing that night?"
You felt your heartbeat race, the image of Eren shirtless looming over you as you cleaned up his face, the way his breath fanned you as you got impossibly close.
"College stuff," you shrugged, feeling Mikasa's gaze on you.
"I'm so glad that's over," Sasha added, going back to the mirror to fluffing her hair out. You shot Mikasa a look, a look filled with guilt and regret, Mikasa smiled reassuringly. You didn't wanna lie to Sasha, and you felt so incredibly guilty for being in love with a guy who terrorized her, what type of friend were you? You couldn't help your feelings, but you wanted to protect her, you knew she'd be broken up if she found out.
"How's your outfit comin' along," Sasha asked you, you pulled up the fishnets.
"I think it's really good," You said happily, "I'm proud."
"You look really good," Mikasa added.
"You're totally getting some tonight, I think Jean's gonna be there," Sasha teased
"I'm so done with Jean," you complained, rolling your eyes, "We're moving past him,"
"Who's the new one?" She asked flirtatiously.
Mikasa gave you a look, you pursed your lips, "Haven't quite figured it out yet, but we're looking at...options," you said to Sasha, she raised her eyebrow.
"Is there something you're not telling me?" She asked.
"No," You lied, "I'm just very unsure at the moment," Straightening out your costume and going over to the vanity to put your makeup on.
"O...kay," Sasha said, giving Mikasa a confused look, Mikasa shrugged.
"Men are overrated," Mikasa sighed.
"Yeah, but" Sasha began, "They can be fun"
"Half of the men at this school are womanizers, there are few you can really use," Mikasa said, twirling a short strand of hair in her face.
"Don't get me started," Sasha rolled her eyes, "Like Porco, or Jeager," She spat, "I hate him,"
"Everyone hates Jaeger," Mikasa said, trying to act as cool as possible, Sasha never picked up on a thing.
"Yeah," you added, coating the mascara on your eyes.
"You of all people should hate him most," Sasha said, turning to you, "He's like so mean,"
"Yeah," you replied weakly, trying to deflect any sign of embarrassment or incrimination.
"Let's forget boys," Mikasa interrupted, "Let's just have fun tonight, okay,"
"Fine," Sasha said, "I just wanna get trashed,"
"Ditto," you added.
***
Historia's Halloween party started when you all were in 6th grade, it was merely a hangout where you watched scary movies, ate candy, maybe went out for a bit. But, once Connie discovered the joys of weed, and Ymir found a plug that gave her cheap alcohol, things turned very...adult.
It wasn't until sophomore year when it blew up into the party of the entire school year, almost everyone went, and Historia's neighborhood never minded because her house was huge. Her Dad worked in...business, and her Mom, the notorious gold digger, just stood around and did nothing.
The three of you stood in front of Historia's mansion, it seemed to expand every year. It was your last party, the night before college applications due, the party that Eren was at right now.
"Ladies," Mikasa said, "It is time,"
"I'm ready," Sasha said.
You just stared at the marble scones, feeling the bass from the music thump inside, the interior was dark and purple strobe lights flickered in the distance. You could hear the faintest sound of the Ghostbusters theme in the background.
"Y/n?" Sasha asked.
"Let's do this," You sighed.
Mikasa opened the door, dragging the two of you inside with her, giggling as the obnoxiously loud music rang in your ears.
Eren saw you the moment you came in. His throat tightened as he saw the black leather skirt hug your hips, and the fishnet stockings that decorated your legs. His pants tightened just by looking at you.
You locked eyes with him, your expression brightening almost instantly, it made his stomach blow up in butterflies.
Sasha and Mikasa were already distracted, you slipped by them and made your way over to him, but before he could say anything, you lightly pushed his chest so he walked backward into the kitchen.
"What's this all about?" He asked, almost giddily.
"What? A girl can't get you alone?," You smiled.
"What's up?" He cocked his head.
"Nothin'" You grinned.
"Want a drink?" He offered, he was dressed as a vampire, fake blood dripping down his mouth and neck, and his hair was slicked back, with one strand hanging down the front of his face, he looked good.
"Sure," You said, taking the red cup in his hands and sipping it slowly, never breaking eye contact. There was something different about you two, you used to be hesitant with each other, walking on eggshells, but now it was almost unapologetic, so blatantly obvious you two were practically undressing each other with your eyes.
"Wanna sit down somewhere?" He asked, his face contorting from amazement to anxiousness to mischief.
"Yeah, lemme just get another," You said, handing his cup back to him, you took your own and poured yourself a drink, as he stumbled off, he watched you from behind.
He settled on one of the old couches in the mudroom, spreading his legs so he took up two spots, resting his hand on his inner thigh, his other hand clutching the red solo cup. As he tasted the alcohol again, it was sweeter, as if it'd been blessed.
Then, he felt it, the familiar and unwelcome purring in his ear.
"What do you want now?" Eren asked.
"What? You're little toy isn't here to distract you anymore," Hitch said, fluttering her eyes.
"Oh, she's here," Eren said taking another sip of his drink, "She'll be here any moment now,"
"Hope she can fight," Hitch added.
"That won't be necessary, and you know it,"
"Why?" She asked, almost mocking him.
Eren leaned in close to her, closing the gap between them, Hitch sighed a sigh of relief before he blocked her face from coming in closer, "Cause if you touch a hair on her hand, I'll kill you,"
"Really?" Hitch whispered, "I doubt that,"
"Doubt it all you want," Eren shrugged, "Won't stop it from happening,"
"I know what you really want, Eren," Hitch pouted, sliding her hands up his thigh, Eren scorched over but it didn't make a difference.
"What do I want Hitch?"
"Someone to use," She enunciated.
Eren gulped, he'd never felt so uncomfortable, so cornered. He could practically smell the pink whitney on her lips, he pursed them so she couldn't get near his.
"C'mon," She said, "I know you want it,"
"I-"
"WHAT THE HELL?" You yelled, practically crushing the drink in your hand.
"Y/n," Eren gasped. You felt your face heat up, looking at the way Hitch was leaning over him, her hand on his knee. He looked extremely guilty once you walked in.
"Sorry," you mumbled, feeling your heart drop in your chest, "Didn't know I was interrupting"
"Thanks," Hitch said, sliding her hand up to his thigh a bit more.
"Okay," Eren groaned, "Quit it," He slapped her hand off and got up to chase you, "Don't come on to me again, yeah?" He asked before huffing off, frantically searching around the sea of people. You felt tears well up in your eyes, of course, he would be hooking up with women at this party, that's what he was known for.
You heard him calling your name in the crowd, but you ignored it and went into the kitchen. If he didn't think you could have fun, you would prove him wrong tonight.
{Highly recommended: Playing Thriller by Michael Jackson}
You stumbled into the kitchen, pouring yourself a shot, downing 1, 2, 3. Letting the strong taste of tequila trickle down your throat, you immediately felt your neck loosen up and your head stop its stressed thumping, you felt looser everywhere.
"Hey!" Sasha came up behind you, "Let's dance!" She pulled you into the next room, it was flooded with people bumping to the music, downing whatever was in their red solo cups.
Sasha twirled you around on the dance floor, letting you feel the music. As she extended her arm, you bumped into a stranger, one with a scream mask on.
"Oh, I'm sorry," you giggled, "I love this song!"
The man in the mask nodded along and started dancing with you two, all of you grooving to it in sync, it wasn't until everyone started seeing you dance together and joined in. Dab pens were being exhaled, juuls were passed around, drinks were spilled. Your head was spinning with thoughts, but most important, your eyes were set on the man in the mask. There was something familiar about him, about his shoulders and height. But, your eyes were only half-open as they fluttered at him.
"Tequila makes me wanna dance!" Sasha confessed, grabbing your hands and moving with you. You kept staring at the guy, who cocked his head to this side, holding a red solo cup in his veiny hands. You felt a lump in your throat, as you were almost salivating at the sight of him, it was the Tequila of course, but you couldn't help but think about getting back at Eren.
"Y/n!" Sasha shouted, "You good?"
"I'm kinda drunk," you laughed.
"Kinda?" She said, "Oh girl, we're getting drunk drunk," She giggled as she pulled you to the kitchen again, you looked back at the man but he was already gone.
Sasha handed you a beer and pulled out her keys from her pocket, "We're shotgunning this, okay?" She looked up at you.
"Mhm," You said.
"Good,"
She holds it horizontally, you following suit, she poked holes in both of yours and you frantically opened the top of the can while simultaneously chugging. Scattered cheers, whistles, and whoops were heard around you, but you were too focused on the task at hand to even care. You felt yourself grow fuller by the minute, but you didn't want to stop. You wanted to stop feeling sorry for yourself, you couldn't handle your feelings for Eren anymore, so you just stopped yourself from feeling anything.
You felt the beer trickle down your throat as you chugged from the iced can, feeling your fingertips go numb from the cold. Sasha released hers and threw it on the ground, screaming like a fake MMA fighter. You released yours with a laugh as she dragged you back. You felt your world spin as Sasha kept dancing. You completely forgot you were a lightweight, so you didn't even register that Jean and Connie came up behind you both, asking you to dance.
"Hey angel," Jean smirked, you looked behind you, eyeing him up and down, he was wearing a cropped green t-shirt and brown cargo pants. The crop top showed off his thick abs that racked down his body. 6 months ago, the sight could've had you floored, but you only noticed that his skin was so plain, no tattoos or... bruises... or light abs and strong arms.
"Hey Jean," You said plainly, still moving to the music.
Eren saw you two through his mask, practically crushing the beer he had in his hand, letting the beer dribble down his arm. He didn't even come onto Hitch and now you were acting like this? Talking to your ex in front of him? I mean, you didn't really know it was him, but you were still talking to Jean, after he threatened him repeatedly.
"Wanna dance?" He asked, eyeing your outfit up and down.
"Uhm," You said, spinning around, "Not really," You drunkenly spurted.
"What?" Jean asked, taken aback, usually you couldn't resist him.
"I don't really feel like it," You confessed, Sasha and Connie, laughing.
Jean scoffed, "Fine, whatever," He walked off, practically seething, trying to find a wallflower to bring onto the dancefloor in retaliation. Eren held back a laugh as Jean walked off, completely bothered, and then went back to you, you danced freely with Sasha.
"She's acting like a whore," Eren overheard, he cocked his head to the side to see Jean and Reiner hissing at each other, he felt his face heat up. Eren was surprised he could even hear them over the blaring music. But he zeroed in on them in the corner, spewing absolute trash about you, Eren felt his chest tighten up, seeing them together made him irrevocably furious.
"I swear to God if she keeps acting like this," Jean said, eyeing you.
Eren felt the metal crinkle in between his fingers, his blood boiling, trying to control his breathing as he furrowed his brows at them. They didn't even register he was here, his disguise was working perfectly, but in a way, he wanted them to be scared he was here, because if you weren't gonna be with him after tonight, maybe he was here for his own revenge... his own enjoyment.
"I swear man, she's into fucking Jaeger," Reiner groaned.
"You can't be serious, that street rat?" Jean laughed, "Why would she like him?" He sneered, running a strong hand through his hair.
"Dunno," Reiner said, "That little runt's gonna pay... right after she does for acting like a whore," Reiner threw his beer to the side and started to walk over to you, but Eren had a better idea. Eren walked right in front of Reiner, partially spilling the rest of his beer on him.
"What the hell, man?" Reiner grunted, pushing Eren to the side, Eren just waved him off and walked outside, knowing that Reiner can't back away from a fight.
Eren was perfectly sober, but he was running on spite and fury. He couldn't get the image of your face out of his head, the way your eyes lowered out of disappointment when you saw him and Hitch, he felt so fucking guilty just for making you upset, he couldn't land his emotion as guilty, he was just so fucking angry, he was gonna stop Jean and Reiner from terrorizing you so much, if you didn't want to talk to him, maybe he could make it up to you.
Now, Eren has been beaten up by Reiner almost twice in the row this year, but that wasn't gonna discourage him. Eren was funny that way, he was stubborn as a mule and always had something to prove, and right now, he was just trying to prove to you something, anything he could offer. Eren was a fighter, he was strong, agile, and over the years had learned a trick or two, and when he was actually prepared, like right now as he exited Historia house, he could easily take them down.
"HEY?!" Reiner shouted, following him out the door, "What did I just say?" Eren kept walking, out into the crisp cool night, feeling the evening air nip at his nose through the mask. Reiner stomped up to him, grabbing him by the shoulder, but Eren shoved it off before swinging around and punching him back. The force knocked Reiner down, Eren cackled lowly under his mask before he stopped on Reiner's face, earning a sharp crack under the force.
Reiner grunted in pain, holding his face, but Eren pulled his hand away and kicked Reiner in the stomach, making him lose his breath.
"Not so fun when it's happening to you, huh?" Eren muttered under his breath, kicking him again.
"HEY!" Jean shouted from the doorway, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Jean rushed out of the house, but Eren dodged his swing and put his arm behind his back, forcing him to the ground.
Eren rolled him on his back before landing a few punches to Jean's face, a light splatter of blood landing on the white of his mask. Jean spat blood when Eren was done, climbing off of him.
Jean groaned, "Who the hell-"
Eren pulled off his mask, grinning, Jean and Reiner's eyes widened at the sight of Eren's messy black hair falling out of his black hoodie, framing his face. Eren's under eyes were still yellow from Reiner's punches a few weeks ago, but he remained laughing under his breath.
"Jaeger!" Jean sputtered.
"Happy Halloween," He said, before kicking Jean in the face, knocking him unconscious. Eren pulled the mask back on before climbing over Jean to Reiner, Reiner's eyes darted every which way out of panic. "Leave her," Eren grabbed his jaw, "the fuck alone," He said, before pinching his nose, Reiner yelped in pain before falling back into the grass. Eren stomped over them and went back into the house, the humidity, and stench of sweat hitting him like a truck.
The dance floor was flooded with people, you were nowhere to be seen. Eren cursed under his breath, thinking about you drunkenly walking home. He started to panic, he shouldn't of let his rage get the best of him.
Eren searched in the sea of drunk teens bobbing up and down, looking for you frantically, it was impossible given that almost everyone was wearing black and the dimmed orange and purple strobed lighting made it disorienting. Eren grunted in frustration and went to the kitchen instead, where he saw you and Sasha giggling. Eren made eye contact with you, seeing your flustered expression. You whispered something in Sasha's ear, and Sasha giggled, "that's him?" She asked. Eren felt his face grow hot when he looked at you, your makeup was smearing off and your fishnets were littered with holes, it was a lewd sight.
He wasn't there to stare at you, he needed to get you home, given that you were drunk out of your mind. But, no one knew who he was, no one knew the nature of your relationship, especially Sasha. Eren tilted his head back in pure frustration, letting his Adam's apple show in a sea of jet black hair. You salivated at the sight.
"I'm gonna see what Connie's doing," Sasha slurred, before stumbling off, leaving you and the masked man in the kitchen, just staring at each other. Eren observed your puppy eyes, full of life and freedom, not a care in the world, he wasn't used to it.
"I'm y/n," You said, holding the kitchen island to steady yourself, "You were on the dancefloor, right?" Eren noticed you were way more lucid than he thought, more put together than Sasha at least.
Eren nodded slowly.
"I'm not trying to come onto you," you confessed, "Sorry, I'm drunk and I have like no filter," You laughed. Okay, maybe you weren't particularly lucid, but at least you were aware.
Eren nodded again, quicker this time, frantically shaking his head. He didn't want to speak, it would be better if you didn't know his identity, he didn't want to creep you out or confuse you, especially if you were still mad at him.
"Hello?" You asked, "You speak at all?"
The skeleton man shook his head no.
"Ah, I see," you said, almost laughing, you were absolutely gone, "I want candy," You thought out loud. Eren bowed his head, he had to get you home almost immediately.
He offered his elbow out to you, at first you were confused, he was just sticking his elbow out... but then you caught on.
"OH! Escorting me somewhere I see," you flicked your eyebrows and held onto him, grabbing his arm, which was frankly -- muscular, it made you shut up for bit.
You stumbled down the stairs, holding onto him for dear life. It was chilly, the night air gave you goosebumps as you stomped down the street with him. He never said a single thing, he was just nod and watch as you tried to balance on a curb or the lines in the middle of the road.
It was awfully quiet, you couldn't stand quiet.
"So," you started, "Why were you at Historia's anyway? Do you go to Paradise?" You asked. The guy nodded slowly, and then shrugged.
"Yeah, me neither," You sighed, "I mean, I don't know why I want either... I was originally going for a guy... but"
Eren felt his heart drop, he felt almost sick to his stomach, wishing he never even looked over at Hitch in the first place.
"He, uhm," You began, your voice getting caught in your throat, "I thought we..."
Eren wanted to scream, he wanted to rip off that mask and confess everything there ever was.
"Skeleton man, I need some advice," You said as you stumbled on the sidewalk. The man was silent, but tilted his head in a way that said go on. You breathed in, and then out, "I have feelings for my best friend," you started, the man seemed to almost trip over this feet, which caused you to giggle, "I'm in love with my best friend and he doesn't love me back," You said, sighing.
"I've been trying to push it down but I really can't hide it anymore, and I know he doesn't feel the same way because he's been with girls before me and they're all hot and sexy and he's just... out of my league." Eren blinked hard, trying to keep his balance... there's no way, there's no way the two of you had felt the same way for so long.
"But, Skeleton man, I'm so crazy for him, and like, I've only realized these feelings for a few weeks but I want him, so badly. I want to be with him, he makes me feel so alive, and no one's ever made me feel this way but him" You slurred, "And maybe I'm just insane, but I'm hoping some part of him feels the same,"
Eren felt his heart swell impeccably large, his hand grew sweaty and clammy, and his heartbeat pumped into his head so all he could hear was his heart thump against his skull. His throat dried up, so he couldn't even form words.
"Anyway, what would you do? If you were me?" You asked, sighing in defeat, "You think he feels the same?" the man nodded frantically, oddly fast, almost reactionary. You laughed at his response, "Yeah, well, lemme just get the strength to tell him," You looked up at the sky, the twinkling stars shining down on you, "I wish I could be a star, their lives are so simple,"
Eren looked up at the stars too, watching the North star twinkle impeccably bright tonight.
"Well, this is mine," You sighed, looking at your house, "Thanks for walking me home and not murdering me," you smiled, pulling him into a hug. There was a stark familiarity to him, he felt like home, his black hoodie feeling warm on your skin. The man struggled to hug back, but as you pulled away, you tried to look into the dark caverns that were his eyes, but you only saw little twinkles of light, maybe their eyes reflecting off of the stars.
"Night, skeleton guy," You smiled, turning and walking up the steps. Eren watched in desperation, wanting so frantically to just run up to you and pull his mask off, and then this torment would be over, the cat would be out of the bag, the beans would be spilled, you both could sigh a breath of relief into each other, knowing both of you have been obsessing over each other for weeks, almost months.
He couldn't.