"Music wise, what's your guilty pleasure? No pretentious bullshit either." Pete was laid back onto the grass now, arms folded underneath him with while I used his thigh as a pillow. There was nothing to look up at in the sky, it only grew darker by the minute. If we didn't leave soon surely the sky would open up to unleash its storm on us, but still we were in no rush.
My hand swung back to smack him whenever I could, it happened to be his stomach, "I have a lot more to me than just being two professors parents, asshole. Just because I like Mozart and Bach doesn't mean I'm unimpressed by modern day music. But to answer your question...Kings of Leon."
Suddenly his thigh raised, causing my head to fall closer to a spot that made me blush while he let out an extremely cute, boyish giggle. "You're fucking joking, Kings of Leon? Didn't peg you as a Dad Rock type."
"Apparently to you all I listen to is 'pretentious bullshit' anything would be shocking. What's yours?"
It took Pete longer to come up with an answer, once again dropping his leg and I leg out a sigh of relief. In the back of my mind I knew I didn't stand up for myself enough when it came to him. Often he'd make small comments about the things I took interest in, or how people viewed me. Nothing ever bad, he never made fun of me but the way he spoke about my hobbies, it was like he didn't believe it.
"Rise Against."
I couldn't control my laughter either, only remembering one song that played on the radio constantly during the early 2000s while I probably was still in a booster seat. "Yeah I can see it."
"Fuck off."
"No thanks, I'd like to stay right where I am."
"Me too."
I bit my lip hard in attempt to center myself, having no idea what was going on with me. I wasn't daft, knowing clear and well I had a crush on Pete, but this was different. Plenty of people have caught my eye while dating Harley, whether it be a celebrity or some random cute person on Social Media and it never made me feel guilt. The world was full of attractive people, that wasn't going to change just because I loved someone. I still loved him, nothing could change that, he was there for me at my lowest moments. Barely was my first love and it, so far, had been a really good choice on my part. But for some reason the crush I developed on Pete felt far from innocent.
With no surprise, it made me feel like shit. Disgusting and awful, because my heart could let me like someone without letting go of another. By reality's standard, I guess it didn't matter. He wasn't the type to have girlfriend, nor did he show signs of wanting anything more than to be my friend. Not that I wanted anything more than that either.
"Hey, I'm sorry." Pete luckily brought me out of my thoughts by saying.
"What for?"
"You're really intelligent and sometimes I'm...intimidated to talk to you and make jokes about it to make myself feel better. That's not your fault."
"Do I come across as a know it all? Because if I do–"
"No, seriously you don't. It's my own problem and I feel like I take it out on you a lot."
I turned my head to meet his eyes, they beat me there as he just blinked slowly to show me he meant it. Pete didn't even have to prove himself to me, or all things he could have apologized for, feeling inadequate to my intelligence shouldn't have been one of them. All I knew were facts, statistics, he was street smart on top of being musically inclined, shit the whole band was and for a fact I definitely wasn't.
For a moment the tables have turned and I didn't hesitate to return his kindness he had given me whenever I felt shame for my actions. "You don't need to be a specific type of smart to be smart, first of all. Do you realize that playing bass, as well as you do, is intelligent? If you put one in my hand I wouldn't know what to do with it. Second of all, if there's something I say, ever, that makes you feel dumb on purpose I give full permission to cuss me out. Until then don't assume you know what I'm thinking." While the words came out harsh by the end I let out a smile and scrunched my nose at him just to show I wasn't mad.
He almost seemed taken aback from my bluntness which made me even more proud that I put him in his place. There were plenty of things wrong with me and I refused to let 'cocky genius' be one of them.
The moment of astonishment was gone as I was graced with a slight smirk before our gazes trickled back to the sky. "Okay. So if you had to pick one movie to watch for the rest of your life what would it be?"
"What kind of question is that? Literally every genre serves different purposes and you want me to pick just one."
"Fine, one Comedy and one Horror, stop complaining." Pete teased while ever so causally he freed up one of his arms from behind his head and going to ruffle my hair. That's what happened for a few seconds, but he never pulled it away, instead nestling his long fingers in my blond locks.
It took everything I had not to hum in appreciation whenever his nails would scratch against my scalp. The last thing on my mind we're stupid movies. To be honest it wasn't even about the electricity going through my body, from every inch of my skin that came into contact with him. No, I was too busy being swarmed with self hatred because I couldn't bring myself to move. To be a good person. To be a good girlfriend. What if it was the fact that it was so wrong that kept me there. What if it had nothing to do with Pete and I and this was me justifying my own brain wanting to sabotage my life.
Or what if because it was Pete. An equally as crazy, emotionally unattached, fucking bassist to a punk band, which part of that sounded stable and worth losing Harley who was the complete opposite in every aspect.
Then there was the last reason.
The simple, normal Cosette loved Harley.
And this one, whoever she was, did not.
"Superbad and Scream," I blurted out. If given the opportunity to actually be able to think, the answer may have been different, but at the moment I needed to force myself to keep the conversation light.
"Which Scream?"
"The first one, duh. Them making fun of the horror genre while still being a scary movie was ground breaking, everything after was trying too hard. Tell me yours."
Out of the corner of my eye I was his shoulders shrug, "not sure, there's too many."
"Exactly, that's the point, you were the one who asked first."
"Yeah, I never said I could answer my own question."
I sat up, "no fair! Now mine seem lame because I had to shout something out," reaching out I poked Pete in his side, when he flinched away from my touch it gave me an evil idea. Before he could know what was going on I pivoted my body, placing a knee on either side of his waist and using my full weight in attempt to keep him still. Then all of my fingers were pressing into him feverishly.
Immediately the body underneath me began to twist and turn, trying to flip me off. "I swear to god Cosette...get off me," already his voice was breaking out into pants. The smile on his face was wild, making me giggle from the fact that this intimidating man could turn soft before my very eyes.
"I'll stop if you tell me your favorite movie."
"I told you I don't know."
"That's a lie, you wouldn't have brought it up. The conversation stayed light but it got me thinking about how often he did that. Pete had a way of getting people to open up about things even though he was a closed book. Did anyone know anything about him? It only made me try harder to get this one simple answer out of him. "Just tell me, what are you afraid of? Is it Frozen?"
"Yes. You got it. Frozen." Then he lunged up, easily pushing me back and gaining the upper hand, like he could have all along. Without hesitation turning my torturous attacks against me. My body physically convulsed from his touch, erratically pushing at his strong arms.
"Fine! Fine okay, you don't have to tell me. You don't have to tell me anything ever again!" Playfulness was laced in my tone, "just please stop I'm going to puke." As soon as I sputtered out those last words I was graced with a sudden stillness. Which in reality only lasted half a second before I became all too aware of our compromising position now that we weren't acting like children. I was laid flat on my back while Pete hovered over me, his hips still snuggled between my thighs. He didn't seem eager to move and I couldn't find the words to ask him to do more.
We just looked at each other. No matter how terrifying it was to be peered down at and so vulnerable, I didn't break eye contact because I didn't want to deny myself the view. He always had the most tired eyes, heavy circles followed him after a good nights sleep but fuck, it suited him. Suited wasn't even the right word, it came with him, graced him because Pete Davidson with dark circles was a work of art. Along with his sharp cheekbones and jawline, and pretty plump lips, his shadowy eyes tied it all together.
I assumed he knew that.
I could have stayed forever, allowing my senses to be filled with one thing, him. Because truly I had forgotten about everything else. My parents, Colson, my responsibilities, my medication, Harley, nothing of the sort went through my mind.
His thumbs, that were still resting on this sides of my stomach began to rub softly against the skin. I had to hold my breath because the sharp intake would have been dramatic.
This couldn't be happening. How could I let this happen while Harley was at home waiting for me? And if that wasn't enough why couldn't I end it?
Pete filled the silence, "The Godfather is my favorite, my dad showed it to me, he loved it."
"Loved?" I blurted out before I realized what a heavy question that was following his favorite movie which is probably why he didn't feel keen on telling me in the first place. Really fucked that one up.
It didn't phase him, or if it did he certainly didn't let it show. But I was smart enough to know that it was the ladder and the walls Pete built up were so tall and so dense I don't think even he could break them down.
The next time his hands were on me they were gentle, but exponentially more torturous. They started innocently at my knees but slowly creeping down and expanding over my thigh, as much as he could cover. "Is this okay?" He asked right away, I took a big gulp and nodded my head twice. My head felt light but I knew it was because I couldn't get my breathing under control, holding it in for too long, trying to let it out quietly so Pete couldn't see what was painfully obvious. That I was a complete wreck from a simple touch.
No.
His touch.
My pajama shorts were cotton and when the callouses of his palms pushed against them they rode up, exposing a rarely seen part of my body, one of the softest parts of my body that went unscathed by outside forces, right where my waist and hips met, the bone protruded outwards, but only when I was laying down.
Based off my own experiences men didn't seem to notice the small details of a woman's body. Pee indulged in it, going back again to pay special attention to the thin skin, thumbs dug in, to outline my hip bone, one, two, three times.
I bit down on my bottom lip so aggressively I could have drawn blood to avoid letting out any vocal responses. Continuing to be stubborn but also afraid that it would speed everything up, and it wouldn't let me to make sure I could handle what I was feeling. I liked his hands on me, wanted them there but I still knew I shouldn't. Shouldn't be enjoying it, accepting of it and I was positive all I had to do was tell Pete to stop and he would.
Yet his touch moved up to my stomach, letting my shirt come up only a little, just above my belly button. Impressively well kept, painted black nails scraped deep into the flesh of my soft stomach, making me see stars, before getting to their final resting point at the base of my neck. "And this? This is okay?"
My eyes blinked at his nearly black ones. The angel and devil inside me were having a full blown war in my head, and I felt sick with adrenaline. "It is," I said with the softest voice that ever came out of me. Resisting the temptation had been a losing fight from the beginning, all I wanted to do was respond to his touch because it almost felt like I'd cry if it were to disappear. He did that to me.
It no longer came down to what was right or wrong, morally I was well aware. I couldn't tell you at which point all of my logic and rational thinking flew out the door and this aching need for Pete started but it never left. Not leaving much room to feel bad, not right now at least. He made me feel things I don't think I've ever felt before and were mistakes were going to be made, I was tired of fighting it.
His tall figure leaned forward, his face getting closer to mine with every passing second, this the pressure on my throat increasing. Harley certainly never did that and I never imagined how good it could feel. Which finally allowed me to let out one tiny, appreciative whimper, my eyelids closed expectantly.
My lips were parted now, waiting to feel Pete's against them but it felt like everything was moving so slow and my body was literally to explode. Then, at the same time, his presence was right there, his breath, that smelled of the cigarettes that he smoked while we talked, fanned across the lower part of my face.
It was at that exact moment that the world resumed.
The sudden boom of thunder that surrounded us made Pete fall back and a gasp leave my lips, moments later rain no poured but crashed down onto us, almost painfully. We sat there staring at each other with wide eyes, silently wondering the same thing it seemed. Has everything changed over these last couple hours?
Pete folded first, those full lips of his curled into a smile and he let out the goofiest giggle ever heard coming from the intimidating man, leading me to do the same. We definitely looked like maniacs, sitting in the middle of the forest during a storm, hysterically laughing. My hair stuck to my cheeks as my head flew back, not being able to control my giddiness.
Like a gentleman he shrugged off his hoodie before throwing it over my shoulders, it was quite thin and already soaked but it's the gesture that counted. Rolling back onto his feet he promptly pulled me up with him.
This time around I definitely did slip on the hill, straight to my butt and brought Pete down with me, as he initiated the hand holding again. He landed more so on his side because I was shorter and it was unexpected. For a sweet second he tried to look mad but seemed overthrown by my hysteria, "oh, babe, I'm so sorry."
The bass player managed to get us both up and basically held me the entire way down, not in a cute way either, but to ensure he wouldn't slam onto the ground again. Which was fair, Pete was lanky and practically stick thin, he was a detriment to himself with only adding more danger being near me.
It was easier to run on the sidewalk so we did, I didn't want to admit it but I grew more afraid of the thunder being outside. Rationally it should have been the lightning, but I could tell it was far away because of how long it's echo took. It was only going to grow louder and angrier and I wanted to be inside.
"Pete I know I sound like a baby but are we far?"
"It's okay– we're turning into the venue now." I couldn't tell, literally from how loud the rain was if he said something more of if he tripped over his words. All I knew was that the tour bus was in sight a minute after, which relieved me. Except all of the roadies were outside as well.
They had been pushing equipment in while Ana flipped back her notebook to the first page, indicating there was nothing left to be done. Usually we hadn't even started.
"Shit, I'm sorry, I gotta go," I gave Pete's hand a squeeze before starting off in the pixie haired girl's direction. Only getting more anxious as I approached, seeing her have the pen cap in her mouth while using the ball point to make sure nothing was missed. Her eyes peered forward and blinked slowly, but she said nothing.
"I-I'm so sorry! Is everything done already? Because I can hook the equipment up, or like triple check that everything is where it needs to be. We usually don't get started until after noon and I should have asked, I'm really sorry."
Ana took the cap out of her mouth, "typically we like the electrical things inside the venue as soon as possible when it looks like there's a storm coming, you know. Water. Electric. Best to be avoided," she responded with a monotoned voice.
My neck hurt from how hard I nodded, while she stayed silent, just as I was about to break out into a full blown panic attack, the sweet smile that I've only seen at the club, broke out onto her face. "Dude you totally okay I was just messing around, kind of. You didn't know, for the future this is the rainy day routine."
"Yes, of course, I understand."
"Please stop talking to me like I'm your manager, we're cool, aren't we?"
We were cool, she said. And we must have been, from the club, I thought she liked me. Although my brain was short functioning trying to combine a boss like figure into a friend, I really wanted to be her friend. "Yes, definitely. I just didn't want to mess that up by not being reliable. Actually a lot of me old friends would consider me reliable, for the most part. I don't mean old friends like we're not really friends anymore but we kind of didn't see much of each other anymore after uh-when I–"
Ana's hazel eyes rolled lightheartedly, "because of your bi polar? Those aren't real friends babe. Listen after the show, it's a little slower of a process because it's a team effort for literally each thing being brought out to ensure no water damage. Okay? But also why don't you come hang in the pit with us tonight? You seem like you have the time of your life in the corner by yourself, might be even better with some company."
She seen me? Oh god has everyone seen me, like the whole entire fucking crowd? Also wasn't Chloe going to be there, and wouldn't she have a problem with it? These were all questions I wanted to ask but stopped myself, out of nowhere these things that never mattered to me were in the forefront of my brain. Shit, I called out Chloe the first day I was here and now I cared if I she had a problem if she saw me hanging out with her friends? So I answered forwardly, "it looks like a lot of fun, I'll be there."
After our goodbyes I started turning away but Ana had a final thing to say, "ah dude, I'm sorry, your cousin was looking for you, he's definitely not happy."
Oh god.
I literally slumped my way back to the tour bus, between maybe three hours of sleep and already anticipating what was waiting for me a few feet ahead I was already exhausted.
And Colson surely didn't disappoint.
The yelling could be heard from the stairs of the tour bus. "Why the fuck didn't either of you answer your phones!?"
"I don't fucking know? We didn't realize they were going off."
"And sending a quick text letting us know where you were didn't cross your mind?"
"Since when do I report to you about where I'm going?"
Colson took a step closer to Pete, "since you got my baby cousin involved you stupid fucking pr–"
"I'm not a baby," my voice made Colson pause his rampage. "And I shouldn't have to report to you either. I'm really sorry that we worried you, it was an honest mistake. Don't take Pete's head off though because he's right, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't give a fuck. It's my fault, not his."
The blond's head whipped back and forth between the both of us. "Are you guys fucking?"
"No!"
"Of course not!" We both yelled simultaneously and even though we meant the same thing Pete's eyebrows furrowed at my more definitive answer. Add it to the list of people I needed to explain myself to, story of my life.
It might have been Pete's look but suddenly I became enraged. "I'm going to be 19 years old in a couple of months. You're only 22, I don't have to answer to you, and if you want the same kind of reaction from me any time you disappear with a random girl than please continue. I'm so fucking sick of you being able to get away with anything and I can't even blow on a few dandelions without the SWAT being called." Once I said it, I didn't feel bad. The blood was rushing from my head because of the adrenaline, but I knew I wasn't wrong. Came across kind of bitchy, but not wrong.
But the reality of it was, Colson didn't care at that point. He wanted to be pissed and the fact I wasn't validating him made the situation worse. "Nah, I don't have time for this. Do what you got to Kitty, who cares how other people feel." Then he stormed off the bus.
I didn't even have time to process what was said before the bass player was standing in front of me. "That was hot."
"What was?"
"You standing up for yourself."
"I just said the truth."
"No, you did, for sure. That's why he stormed off, I really just didn't think you had it in you."
"What did I tell you about assuming things about me?"
"Never again." His eyes poured into mine, and the chaos of the last 20 minutes vanished from my mind. I felt small as I peered up at him, becoming aggressively aware of the height difference. My body slight trembled from the cold, wet clothes still sticking to my skin but I didn't dare break eye contact.
Pete made sure not to lose his moment this time, he raised his eyebrows in question, silently and patiently waiting for my consent.
And when I took that step forward to close the distance between us, it was all he needed to grab my face with both of his hands and crash his lips onto mine.
I fucking love this chapter lol I hope y'all liked it too!! As always sorry for the wait I think I was a little quicker this time. Please comment and vote!!❤️