Guns, bullets, sound of pistols and the loud laugh of someone occupied my ears as I walked on the pathway, going to the direction of the boss. Aside from that, I can hear also some ear shattering banging of the doors the moment I took a step on the front door.
I almost vomit at the sight I saw. Greta, the wife of my boss is kissing torridly with him as if they didn't hear my entrance. I stood straightly and my eyes only diverted at the other side of the office just so I can't see their romantic moment.
What a slap to me.
Too much show of affection. This should be illegal. How I wish that sometimes, they should paste some paper on the door, warning someone so that I won't disturb their privacy.
I do not like to see this kind of scene. Ang laswa masyado.
"Sir," I called him.
Automatic ang paghinto nilang dalawa sa pagkarinig ng boses ko. They are not being disturbed by the sounds outside but my sudden entrance made them halt.
Umalis sa pagkakaupo sa hita nito ang asawa saka inayos ang postura. She looked at me from head to toe and I only remained standing straightly.
"Jaeden Juntarsiego, I see. Hmm. What a beautiful human," I heard her say as she takes a step towards the door, towards where I am standing now.
I breathed deeply as I am now hurrying for going out of here. The place suffocates me and I need to finally let myself out of here. Take a break or something, I don't know. As long as I won't hear the sound of the guns.
"Greta, sa labas ka na muna. I'll talk to him first." Doon lang umalis sa pagkakaupo si boss. His wife once again looked at me with great admiration.
Well, maybe because of my eyes that's why.
Is it their first time to see some eyes like this?
"He's the youngest you're talking about, huh? Too young for this kind of business, kid. Nakokonsensya ka rin ba kapag nakakapatay ng tao?"
"Greta! I said go out here first!"
She rolled her eyes at him while I am still not moving on my spot. My teeth gritted at that judgment.
Tumunog ang pintuan, senyales na lumabas na nga ito bago ako nakarinig ng katahimikan.
Yumuko ako ng tuluyan saka hinugot iyong baril na nasa likuran. Somehow, I didn't fear this thing anymore. I didn't fear what its capability because I now gained courage.
Courage of killing people.
"I did kill them. For sure, I can now take some rest. I need to unwind," pagpapaalam ko rito. The task earlier was quite challenging. At inaamin kong nakakakonsensyang gawin.
I am too young for this. I chose this and my parents didn't get an idea about what I am doing. This is not a thing that a 20 year old like me should be doing.
Lumapit ito ng tuluyan sa akin ng nakakrus ang braso. We're both tall and I can look at him directly in the eyes. Lumikha ng tunog ang paglapag ko ng baril sa mesa nito. His eyes went on it, following what I am doing.
"Pahinga?" He chuckled evilly. "Kailangan mo pa ba iyon?"
"Yes, sir. I am human. I needed a rest."
"And where do you plan to go?"
I cracked my knuckles and licked my lips. Buong tapang kong hinarap ang mainit nitong tingin sa akin.
Sa lahat ng narito, kahit noong una na hindi ko alam na ako ang pinakabata, pumasok na sa isipan ko na gano'n nga. I do know some members here but I chose to be on my own. I do things all alone.
I did say half of my plan to him. As much as I don't want him to know about it, I feel like he's got rights.
Ayokong pagdudahan ako kaya naman ay napilitang magsabi na sa kanya. I really did my plan which is to go to a province. Feels like the nature is starting to call my presence and also to give myself a quick rest.
I am sinful. Maski ang magulang ko ay walang nalalaman sa mga ginagawa ko kaya naman mas pinilit na itago na lang lahat iyon sa kanila.
Umiwas ako sa kasamaan. I've taken number of lives. At ngayong nabigyan na nga ang sarili ng pahinga, siguro naman ay hindi na ako rito makagawa ng kasalanan.
Well, I met a girl. It doesn't matter if we're at the same age. I will still call her a girl because she looks cute and admirable.
And he's a high school student. I don't actually like having this close relationship with people like her. Saka ang uri ng tingin, alam kong wala namang gusto sa akin pero manghang-mangha lang ito.
Should I add her to the number of people that's been a victim of the color of my eyes? Kailangan ko na bang ipasok sa listahan ang pangalan niya?
She got a long hair which suits her very well. Maganda naman pero iyong buhok, nagpadagdag lalo roon. I can see some freckles under her eyes which made me question her existence, not because she's like someone I really know, someone that people admire.
Habang tumatagal, nakikita ko ang kamukha nito. She really looks like Megan Fox, the younger and soft version. I don't know is she's aware about that.
She's not intimidating to look at. Naroon ang malambot na titig nito na hindi ko alam kung marunong bang maglabas ito ng galit o hindi. She's always calm and I bet, even if she's mad, I know she will look like what her normal face looks like.
Mananatiling ganoon ang mukha. The calmness will never fade. She's staying the same.
The white daisy is her favorite flower. I don't actually fancy flowers since they all look like the same for me.
Pero sa tuwing natititigan niya ang bulaklak na iyon, parang ang laki ng parte nito sa buhay niya. Do flowers really change someone's life? Should I also like flowers?
To my surprise, she gave me the white daisy, instructing me that I should preserve or keep it. Siguro dahil sa dakila akong masunurin, sinunod ko iyong sinabi niya sa akin. I kept the flower inside a book. And really, I want to keep it special.
Because maybe she's the first one to give me something? Not a gift but a thing that can be appreciated. Bulaklak pa talaga.
I am being gentleman to her. I truly believe on that kind of attitude. Hindi naman ako pinalaki nina Mama na maging masama ang ugali. Even my siblings are the same. We are all taught some good manners.
Sa kasamaang palad, iyong magiging pahinga ko na sana ng tuluyan sa probinsya ay naantala. That great boss of mine keeps on calling me as if I am the only person he can call to.
Marami siyang kasama roon kaya bakit ako pa?
"I thought we are already clear with this decision of mine? Why did you call me?" I asked him, already mad inside but I am thankful because I can control myself to not kill him.
Humalukipkip ito sa harap ko. Throwing the envelope on the table, I stared at him with my piercing eyes.
Abot ko na kung ano ito. Though I am feeling guilty while not still doing the thing, I opened it.
"Siguro naman ay kaya mo na 'yan. Ayokong iasa rito sa iba kasi—"
"The other men can do this." Nilapag ko iyong envelope nang makita ang litrato roon.
That same old man again.
Tumawa ito saka umiling-iling. I remained serious kahit sa totoo lang ay naiinis na rin ako.
"They're not a sharpshooter like you, hijo. Buo ang tiwala ko sa'yo. I know you can shoot him very well."
I made a sound that's almost begging to not let me hold a gun again. Kaya nga ako nagpakalayo-layo kasi gusto kong bigyan ng oras ang sarili.
I don't have an idea why he's so eager to kill this old man. Ni hindi ko nga alam ang totoong dahilan.
"You know Henry Alcantara. Ilang beses mo na rin akong tinanggihan sa ganito. I want it to be successful today," saad nito nanghindi umaalis sa posisyon ngayon.
Massaging my forehead, I keep on thinking things. Nanatiling magulo dahil labag sa kalooban ko ang gawin ito ngayon.
What I know about this old man is that he's his greatest enemy. Not just in life but in this world.
Kating-kati itong patayin tapos ako ang utusan. Why he can't just kill this himself? I don't care about his other matters anymore.
"Fine. This will be the last."
Kita ko ang pagngisi nito sa naging sagot ko. I gave him one last glare before I went inside my car, drank for a while to boost myself before I proceeded somewhere.
I parked my car far from his house. Kabado pa rin naman sa gagawin. I prepared my extra gun and aimed it at the spot where he's going out as always.
Habang ginagawa iyon, nanginginig ang kamay ko. I have my silencer but deep inside me, I feel like people will hear it. Hindi ako takot. Nakokonsensya lang.
Tuluyan na itong nakalabas. My finger pulled the trigger as fast as I can, targeting his feet just so I can create a damage. Kasabay no'n ay ang pagsarado ko ng bintana at ang paglaghok ng tubig na nasa tabi.
I waited for a few minutes, seeing him dragged by his men inside his car, rushed him at the nearest hospital. Umalis ako roon saka kinumpirmang tinamaan nga ang matanda.
Dumiretso akong probinsya ng hindi nagpapaalam ng maayos sa kanya. I am done with this thing.
Besides, I needed to see someone not familiar with me.
Diana and I were being close to each other as time goes by. Seriously, I do not like her and I do not see myself having this romantic relationship with her.
Manghang-mangha lagi sa akin, lalo na sa mga mata ko. She keeps on admiring it even on her silent times. Lalo na noong ipininta nga niya ako. It's Ms. De Jesus' request for her.
Pumayag naman ako. Okay lang kahit suman iyong ibigay niyang bayad. Masarap naman. Hindi naman ako nangangailangan ng pera.
And the result was so beautiful. At kahit hindi ko nahiligan ang mga paintings, aaminin kong masyado kong nagustuhan iyong gawa.
I like how she actually blended all the colors. Like how she made her own way just to survive painting my eyes.
I like to motivate someone to continue the path they are taking. Ewan ko bakit umurong bigla ang dila ko sa gustong sasabihin.
Damn it. I am starting to like her paintings. Pati iyong mukha ko na ipininta niya, nilagay ko sa kwarto sa bahay kina Mama.
My father, who's fond of paintings noticed that in my room. Kinabit ko iyon. In that way, I can say that I appreciated her work so well.
"Who painted that?" he asks me. Nakiusyoso iyong mga kapatid ko. They look interested on the painting.
"Oo nga, kuya. Sino bang gumawa niyan? Kung-kuha, oh!" Andres complimented as he sat on my bed. Si Lance ay nakatitig ng mariin lang doon, nakakrus ang braso.
"Diana Esther Eliazar is the painter," malumanay kong sabi.
"Maganda ba, kuya?" tanong ni Isaiah na nakangisi na ngayon sa akin. I gave him a glare, a warning for what he's planning.
"You're too young for her. Mag-aral kang mabuti, huwag iyon ang isipin mo," suway ko rito. I heard my dad's chuckles. Inakbayan ako nito nang tuluyan ko nang naayos iyon.
Dominique's behind him and so I pulled her near with me and kissed her forehead. Ganoon rin ang ginawa ni Papa. I heard my brother's groans as if they are seeing some cheesy scene here.
Mga malisyoso.
Dom is our only sister. Pinakabata sa aming lahat. I always do this to her at sa apat kong lalaking kapatid, puro sakit lang ng ulo ang hatid.
"The scholar, huh? Well, I bought her paintings. Nasa baba lahat nang iyon. I see that she's so great for painting this."
My eyes widened. Kumunot ang noo ko lalo.
"What? You bought everything?"
"Yup. My money's not a waste after all. Sulit naman lahat. We can add those to your rooms," he suggested happily. Hindi ako nakapagsalita dahil syempre, maganda naman kapag ganoon. I won't contradict my father's decision.
"Pakilagay din sa kwarto ko, Pa! Ang gaganda nga, eh!" I heard Leon's voice, screaming happily as if I will own those paintings.
Pumunta sa likuran ko si Lancelot, nang-iinis ang mukha. He's grinning like I did something wrong, something that will make him tease me more.
"Hmm. Kung maganda ang painting, mas maganda siguro ang nagpinta, kuya? Ano?"
"Shut your mouth. I don't need to hear that. Mga banat mong luma na," reklamo ko rito nang makalabas na sa kwarto. He elbowed me and I almost punched him on the face.
"Pa-humble ka pa. Sigurado akong maganda nga. Hindi ka tumatanggi, eh."
I only shook my head at that.
Totoo naman kasing maganda iyon. I won't deny that fact.
Naglakas loob lang ako nang tumagal masyado ang panahon. For me, that was enough time already to finally court her. Well, of course I did ask permission from her parents.
At ayoko namang maging madali ang lahat. I chose to do what normal suitors should do in a traditional way.
Nag-igib ako ng tubig, kumuha ng kahoy sa gubat saka syempre, tumulong na rin sa ibang gawain. Unusual because Diana's presence cannot be seen in their house. Syempre, nakisabay rin ako sa kanila. On how they live and how make they make things.
Hindi ko nga ginagawa ang mga iyon parati sa buhay ko pero hindi naman ako nag-iinarte. Their life's precious. I don't mind trying it.
Nagpapasalamat ako kasi dahil sa kanya, medyo gumaan-gaan ang buhay ko. I cannot say that I finally quit that so called job of mine. Nagpaplano pa lang ako at alam kong hindi kuntento ang matandang iyon sa nagawa ko.
I don't want Diana to know about me, having guts to kill people and without hesitations to take their lives with my own hands.
Na iyong boyfriend niya, mamamatay tao. She doesn't deserve this kind of man so much as possible, I want to quit.
It was exactly fourth of October when we officially became together. We are both not mentioning the date but I trily remembered it. I don't value dates because I do not feel importance of it before.
Wala naman akong kinalaman sa mga dates pero ito? It's special for me and I know the reason for that.
It was the date when I finally liked her, started loving her. At naniniwala ako na iyong babaeng katulad niya, deserve na magkaroon ng kung sinong para talaga sa kanya.
I was too imaginative person, of how I created promises to her that she will be the one I will love for the rest of my life.
Hindi pa naman ako nagkaroon ng girlfriend pero may ideya naman. Kaya ang ginawa ko, hatid sundo ko siya minsan. Lamang ang sundo kasi syempre, I want to end my day with her.
Kaya sa tuwing may lakad siya kasama ang mga kaibigan niya, hindi na ako nakikialam doon kasi pagkakataon niya ring makisaya pagkatapos ng kanilang klase. I want her to be free, to not feel suffocated just because she's with me.
Inintindi ko iyong kagustuhan niyang iyon. Besides, I am not really owning her life. I don't have plans to pull her with me and just do everything we want.
When I finally learned that I should be quitting, I never had a second thought about it. Ang dami kong tinatago kay Diana. She is not aware of what I am doing, of what I am being busy of.
At naiintindihan ko ang galit nito sa akin sa hindi ko pagsabi ng lahat sa kanya.
I am scared, yes. I am scared that if she'll ever know the truth about everything, she'll have a chance to shout at me, to point her fingers and seeing her angry face at me.
Bullshit. I don't fear guns but I fear the mad and life threatening face of Diana.
"I want to quit now. I give up on this," I desperately said as I surrendered my gun to him again.
Greta, his wife made a loud gasp as if not accepting my decision. Kung ipagpapatuloy ko ito, mas lalong lalaki ang mga tinatago ko. I am tired of taking lives now. I don't want to continue this kind of shit.
He turned to me. He's sitting on his swivel chair. I can only hear the sound of the clock inside as I am waiting for his response.
Iyong sigarilyo niya ay tinapon niya lang sa gilid ng walang pag-alinlangan. Both of his feet rested on top of his table and studied me. He's massaging his chin and examining my body.
"Sigurado ka?"
"I won't go here if I am not sure."
Tumawa ito ulit. I now hate the way he laughs at any situation. Hindi seryoso at parang balak pa akong paglaruan.
"Ni hindi mo pa nga napapatay si Henry Alcantara. I want you to kill him first before I release you, Juntarsiego." He grinned at me. Uminit ang ulo ko sa ganoong dahilan.
Kumuyom ang kamao ko sa kagustuhan nitong hindi nga ako paalisin. I did a damage to that old man! Sapat naman na siguro iyon!
"You only shot him. Hindi mo pa tinuluyan. Hindi ako naniniwalang hindi mo siya kayang patayin."
"I shot him already. You can kill him yourself."
Mas lalong lumakas ang pagtawa nito. His voice echoed inside his office as if we're inside the cave. Nakinig lang ako sa nagiging tawa nito na hindi ko kailanman nagustuhan.
"The damage is still not enough. I want something brutal, hijo."
"Smash his head if you want because I am quitting now. For good," matigas kong sabi. He pursed his lips. Hinamon ako nito ng tingin sa hindi ko malamang dahilan.
I am done with this. I want to start a new life without hiding anything from Diana or even to my parents.
"For sure, this kid right here is tired of all the job you're giving him. Free him now," dinig kong suhestyon ng asawa nito.
Somehow, I agreed with her suggestion. Hindi ko ito matignan. I want to memorize the face of my boss for the last time.
"Okay. I'll free you in one condition." I groaned at the unending condition. I didn't hear his wife's voice anymore because I think, she's also agreeing with the dumb decision of his husband.
Tanginang buhay 'to.
Binigay nito sa akin ang envelope na sigurado akong pictures lang din ang laman. I opened it with all my frustration.
Dalawang litrato. All my anger dissolved immediately as I saw whose image I am seeing now.
Unti-unti ay sumalakay sa akin ang kaba. Iyong mga mata ko ay halos manlaki na sa pagtitig sa dalawang tao na hindi ko naman inasahan na pagkakainteresan ng lalaking ito.
I immediately threw it. Lumipad iyon mismo sa harap niya. He didn't bother to pick it up to at least give it to me again.
"Hindi ko gagawin ang utos mo," mariin kong sabi, nagngingitngit na ang sarili.
He only looked at me without having any change of mind. Mas lalong tumaas ang galit sa loob ko. Myself is not really in a mood to take his orders for me.
"I won't take their lives just for you."
"Oh, boy. Bakit ba ayaw mong gawin ang huling utos ko—"
"You are not my father to dictate me what to do! Aalis na nga ako kaya—"
"Then follow my—"
"Fuck you! Let me finish first!" I panted as my voice raised. Galit na ako. Mas lalong sumakit ang tingin nito sa akin. "I will quit this stupid thing and last, if your mind is still not in process of understanding my statement, I will not take your orders. Hinding-hindi ko papatayin ang mga taong 'yan."
Tuluyan itong lumapit sa harap ko. I can sense his hatred towards me. Kahit magkamatayan kami rito, hinding-hindi ako susunod sa kanya.
"And why? If you can't kill the father, might as well kill the daughter, hijo. At sino itong asawa niya? Better kill them both."
"Ayoko. I don't kill innocent people, especially them. And don't you ever touch them because I swear, I will kill you all with the use of my hands. Hindi ako natatakot makulong, boss."
Mas lalong natawa ito. Malakas at sigurado akong dinig iyon sa labas.
"Jaeden, Jaeden, Jaeden. You seem close to this family. Magulang ba ito ng girlfriend mo? Tama ba?" He slapped my shoulder. I gritted my teeth as I felt how hard his slap is.
"None of your business. Basta aalis na ako. Don't you ever lay your hands or even the hands of your men to this two people. Hindi mo magugustuhang magalit ako," I said hardly before I left his office.
Sumunod sa likuran ko iyong asawa niya saka ako pinasakay sa kotse nito. I have no choice left and so I ride with her.
I was quite the whole time and so I chose to stop at some random place. Kahit na ilang beses itong nagsasalita ay wala akong naintindihan. I only wished for the best, for her husband that should learn how to spare some lives.
That shit plans to decrease the number of people in this world. Anong karapatan niya para roon?
Natakot na lang ako bigla para sa magulang ni Diana. Diana's mother is the daughter of Henry Alcantara. Ngayon ko lang nalaman at mas lalong walang naikwento sa akin ang magulang ni Diana.
What a good surprise, huh?
I know I have sinned multiple times already. At hindi ko aakalaing makikita niya ako roon sa eskinita banda.
Mabilis akong umalis sa loob ng sasakyan ni Greta. I know what she's feeling and so I confronted her.
Lasing. Amoy na amoy ko ang alak sa hininga niya. Naiintindihan kong sumusubok ito ng mga bagay-bagay pero ngayong alam kong pareho kaming galit, pinakalma ko na muna ang sarili.
She's jealous, I am sure of it. Hinabaan ko na lang ang pasensya kasi syempre, ayokong magalit sa kanya ng tuluyan.
Wala naman akong balak na gawing girlfriend iyong si Greta. May asawa na 'yon.
I won't cheat to her. I won't ever give her problems about our relationship. Kaya ang ginagawa ko, tuwing ganito na parang sasabog siya sa galit sa akin ay hinahabaan ang pasensya. I promised myself to not be mad at her ever.
Hindi ko naman alam na pagkatapos no'n ay sasalakay sa akin ang matinding kinatatakutan.
I can see from the side mirror Henry's men, chasing us. Kalmado lang ang sarili ko pero ang laki ng takot ko para kay Diana. I don't want us to die inside the car, ambushed by her grandfather's men.
I did my best to win the battle. Kahit na nasa loob ko lahat ng takot, hindi ko pinalabas lahat ng iyon dahil kasama ko si Diana. I don't want her to panic, to know that I am also scared to lose her.
Good God. Ayokong mawala ng tuluyan si Diana. She deserves the life at kung pwede mang ako na lang ang unahin, mas mabuti kung ganoon nga.
At least, I can pay for all the troubles I've done in this world. Handa naman ako palagi.
I don't want to let her go first, or even her parents. Alam kong gustong-gusto niyang maging successful para sa kanila. I've seen how she treasured them, how she gave importance to them.
My boss actually gave an order to me to kill his parents. I am devastated knowing the fact that there is a chance that I can be the reason for making her life miserable.
Kilala ko ang lalaking iyon. Hangga't gusto niyang makaganti, gaganti talaga ito. He doesn't care if his men will perform something brutal or not. Ang importante sa kanya ay malamang wala nang buhay iyong target niya.
That's how cruel he is.
Hindi ko lang inasahan ang biglaang pagkilos nito. I chose to spend some of my days and nights at the province to monitor Diana's parents.
Wala akong sinabing kahit na ano sa kanya. I remained silent and so what I did was right for me I think.
Pero iyong pagprotekta na gusto kong gawin, hindi sapat dahil dinig na dinig ko ang tunog ng baril na nagmumula sa bahay nila.
It was so dark. The starless sky did not give its light fully. Sa sobrang kadiliman, alam kong ganoon din ang kahahantungan ng buhay ni Diana kapag nalaman niyang iyong kanyang magulang, wala na.
Matutulog na sana ako pero iyon na kaagad ang naging bangungot ko. I can hear footsteps from their neighbors and some shouts of fear.
It hurt me totally. Wala akong ibang inisip kundi ang galit na namutawi sa loob ko. Hindi ako pumunta roon sa kanilang bahay para makiusyoso.
What I did was I went to Greta's husband. Sinipa ko iyong pinto ng kanyang opisina, galit na galit ang mukha ko at nadatnan itong pasimpleng kumakape.
Some of his men ignored me when I literally kicked this fucking door of this old man.
I slammed both of my hands on his table. Umangat lang ang tingin niya sa akin ng dahan-dahan habang hindi nakakaramdam ng kaba man lang o takot.
That's how numb he is. Walang pakiramdam dahil bukod sa asawa, wala na itong pamilya.
"You son of a bitch! Why did you kill them?! Anong kinalaman ng mga taong iyon sa'yo?! Gago ka!"
He sat properly and arranged his suit. His wife is not here and I don't care where that fucking woman is.
Hinigit ko ang kwelyo nito ng pwersahan, dahilan kung bakit kaagad itong napasunod sa akin. I grabbed it forcefully and now his face is few inches away from me.
Mahigpit na mahigpit iyong pagkakahawak ko sa kanya. He's not coughing or showing anything that I can say he's choking. Mas lalo lang akong nagalit nang ngumisi ito.
"Told you. I can do everything, hijo. Kung hindi mo magawa, ipapagawa ko sa iba. Kumusta? Patay na ba?" He followed it with his evil laugh. My teeth gritted and so I punched him hard, so hard that his face almost flew away.
Binalewala ko iyong mesa saka paulit-ulit na ginawa iyon. My fist is becoming red and hell I care! I want to kill this man! I want to send him to where he belongs!
"Gago ka!" I punched him again. "Putangina mo!" I gave him a hard blow again. "You shit! I followed all your orders and now you ordered someone to kill them just because I can't do your wish?!! You dumb old man!" Binigyan ko ito ng panghuling suntok.
I can feel his streaming blood from his mouth. Mas lalo pa itong ngumisi nang makita ang iba sa mga tauhan niyang pumasok ng opisina.
"See them? Who do you think is the strongest, kid?" I offered him my strongest blow and grabbed his gun.
Hawak ko pa rin ang kwelyo nito nang humarap ako sa iba niyang tauhan.
They are aiming their guns at me, ready to fire and kill me but they are wrong. No one is strongest from these men. Ang mga taong handang ialay ang buhay para sa isang matandang mahina ang tingin sa kanila.
Sorry, I am the favorite here. And you will all die.
Isa-isa kong tinapos ang bawat bultong nakikita. I bended my kness just so I can aim perfectly. Bawat putok ay may tinatamaan at wala akong pakialam kung sino iyon.
Their bodies started scattering as I made the last shot. Nandidilim ang paningin ko. Nandidilim lahat sa akin at wala akong ititira kung gugustuhin ko.
I may look a perfect man for Diana's eyes, the one who's acting maturely and will always choose what's best, she's wrong. I am willing to fight. I am willing to kill someone just for revenge.
At handa akong harapin lahat ng hatol hindi dahil sa mayaman ako. My parents' riches will not contribute on this. At hindi ko iyon pagsisisihan.
"You're next." Hinarap ko ito ulit saka tinutok ang baril sa kanyang noo ng hinihingal. He licked his bloody lips as if teasing me more to pull the trigger.
"I don't care if I'll make your body look miserable after I do this. At gusto ko lang malaman mo na hindi sa lahat ng oras, ikaw ang masusunod. You did a huge mistake, boss. Safe travel to hell."
Tumitig ako sa kanya ng diretso, walang pag-aalinlangang pinutok iyong baril. I didn't feel any regrets. I feel more the satisfy as I wiped the trace of his blood on my face.
Justice served.
Sinuko ko ang sarili dahil alam ko ang takbo ng utak ng lalaking iyon. His man fucking used my gun! Sa huli, wala namang ibang ituturo kundi ako. Might as well surrender myself.
"Ano bang nangyari sa'yo, Jaeden?!" Ramdam ko ang galit ni Papa nang makarating sa presinto. He's with my mother and Lancelot.
Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kapatid ko saka hinarap ang nagbabagang tingin ng ina ko.
"Anak, please, hindi naman ikaw ang gumawa nito, 'di ba?" pagmamakaawa ni Mama na parang mababago pa nito ang isip ko.
I shook my head. Lumapit si Lancelot sa akin habang si Papa naman ay galit na galit na nakikipag-usap sa mga pulis.
"Don't do anything. Do not send some powerful attorney or any means just so I can go out of here. Hayaan niyo muna ako rito."
"Hayaan?! Are you nuts, Jaeden?! Bakit ka ba umaako ng kasalanang hindi ikaw ang gumawa?!"
My father believes that I cannot do this kind of thing. Pero buo na ang desisyon ko. I will stay here. I don't care if I'll die here alone.
"Jaeden, anak..."
"Huwag na, Ma. Lance is here to take care my other siblings." Hinarap ko ito saka tinanguan. He only looked at me confusely.
"Ikaw ang kuya kaya ikaw dapat ang naroon."
"I don't like arguing now, Lance."
"Edi lumabas ka dyan. Ayaw mo pala, eh. Ipapasa mo sa akin responsibilidad mo?" Matigas pa nitong sabi na sigurado naman akong nang-aasar lang.
"Sundin mo na lang ako."
"Ayoko. Ikaw ang unang pinanganak ni Mama kaya ikaw dapat ang nagpapasunod sa amin," he said straightly.
I didn't give him my attention. Buo na ang loob ko. And God knows how worried I am to Diana.
Ang inasahang pangyayari ay nangyari nga nang sandaling puntahan niya ako sa presinto.
She's so mad. Ang sakit makitang nasasaktan ito ngayon. But I chose to hide my emotion from her. Pinatatag ko ang sarili saka pinatigas para mapaniwalang ako ang may kagagawan ng lahat.
I badly want to wipe her tears, draw away her sadness and hug her tightly. Pero hindi ko naman talaga magawa. I pushed her away from me.
Masakit ang mga salitang binitawan niya. Hindi nga ako umiyak pero iyong loob ko, halos madurog na.
She's like an empty canvas. No colors, no life and I can't see the beautiful scenery. Ang hirap isipan ng pwedeng ipinta dahil iyong mukha niya, halos sakit lang ang laman.
She's the girl who gets excited when the sky is in pretty color. She loves sunsets, that's why I labeled her myself as my beautiful ending.
Hindi niya alam syempre. Nahihiya akong magsabi no'n sa kanya kasi baka tawanan niya lang ako ulit. I kept it only for myself.
Walang kaalam-alam ang isang babaeng minahal ko na ganoon ang tingin ko sa kanya. She's so special. May natupad naman doon sa pinangako ko sa kanya.
I managed to love her. Only her for the past years. Handa naman akong mahalin pa siya sa susunod na mga taon pa pero siya, mukhang wala na.
I understand her decision. Hindi ako mamimilit sa kanya para sa kagustuhan ko.
Napahinga na lang ako ng malalim nang mapagtantong iyong painting na kanyang binalot pa ay iyong sarili ko.
Her painting of me.
Ngumiti ako ng wala sa oras. I keep on staring at it the whole time. Hindi ko maitatangging ganoon pa rin ang galing niya. I always admire her painting skills.
Lalo na kapag ako iyong pinipinta niya. She's doing so great when it comes to me.
Grabe. Isang malaking blessing talaga si Diana. I will keep admiring her for the rest of my life like how I learned to love all her paintings.
"Fourth of October, huh?" I whispered as I senses her presence beside me. Nakasulat iyon sa pinakaibaba ng canvas.
Ramdam ko ang lamig ng balat nito sa akin. I like the coldness of it.
"Binibigyan mo ng meaning?" I chuckled at her bossy voice. Humarap ako sa kanya ng nangingiti ng malapad.
Ganoon pa rin naman siya. Sobrang ganda na akala mo ay pinaglihi sa kung ano. I will never get tired of looking at her.
Labag sa loob niyang binigyan ko siya ng art gallery. I know that she wants to build this on her own pero kung kaya ko naman, bakit hindi?
At least, the money that she'll be using for constructing this will be for her future. Hindi na mababawasan.
"Should I give meaning to this date?"
"Depende sa'yo. We became together at that date so..."
"You're treasuring it. Good idea," tumawa ako ng bahagya habang hinahaplos iyon.
Her arm landed on my shoulder. Hinayaan kong gawin niya ito dahil sa loob ko, gusto ko naman iyong ginagawa niya.
I left her, made her fear me because of the crime I didn't do. Sa totoo lang, hindi ako nagsisi sa desisyong ginawa ko. It's all the right thing and I did not change it.
Hinawakan ko ang kamay nitong malambot. So soft as the cotton.
"Did you know that I built that bridge for you?" I asked out of the blue.
Napahinto siya nang marinig iyon. Wala siyang ideya, sigurado ako.
"Ano? Seryoso ka? Hindi nga?" Tumango ako. Hinampas nito ng marahan ang balikat ko.
Well, I like her doing that.
"Yes. I saw how you fell on that bridge. Kaya hindi pa sumisikat ang araw noon, ginawa ko na para hindi ka na mahulog sa susunod. I found all your things floating so I compiled it. Nakita mo naman siguro 'yon, 'di ba?"
"Sira ka talaga. Ewan ko sa mga kalokohan mo," she chuckled.
Ang sarap sa pandinig. Parang ilang taon ko ring hindi narinig sa kanya iyon. I like hearing her laugh forever.
Right now, I do know the fact that we are still hoping for the chance.
"Did you know that for about thousands of sunsets, you are still my beautiful ending, Diana? Kasi kung hindi, sinasabi ko na sa'yo 'to ngayon." I whispered to her. Hindi na siya kumontra pa sa akin at tumitig sa naging magandang gawa niya.
I thank the lord and her parents for her existence. Nothing beats Diana Esther.