JAMES RUBBED HIS eyes and let out a yawn. Glancing at the clock, he was surprised that it was barely after midnight, yet he was uncharacteristically tired. The documents around him seemed to be growing by the minute. He really needed to visit Chalcott manor and speak with his estate manager. However, James did not want to leave Vivienne alone in London. His eyes were blurry, and the words on the page seemingly danced beneath him.
Blinking rapidly, James stood. There was no use in staring at the pages any longer. He would look at the rest in the morning. He exited his study and slowly climbed the stairs, his eyes shifting towards Vivienne's room. Somehow, he'd made it a habit to sit by her bedside before retiring for the evening.
Pushing the room open, he walked around the trunks scattered in the chamber. Preston had located Vivienne's trunks and James had ordered for them to be sent to her room. He wanted her to feel at home for when she woke up—whenever that would be.
It was nearly a week now and Vivienne had yet to awaken. Ballard had checked on her a few times throughout the week, but he did not have any answers. Feeling helpless, James hired a few more physicians but they had all been stumped over Vivienne's condition as well. One of them even had the galls to inform James that it might be better to say his goodbyes and let the young lady go. James had promptly asked Preston to remove him from the manor before he could act on his urges and punch the man's face.
He settled into the seat beside Vivienne's bed, gaze flickering towards her body. Her blonde hair was spread out on the pillow, moonlight providing a soft glow. As he did every night, he took in her features. The arch of her light brows, the tall slope of her nose, the rose-coloured lips...
All he wished was for her to open her green eyes and look at him once more. He longed to hear her soft melodic voice, but as usual, there was silence. James sighed, leaning back into the chair but his gaze never left Vivienne's face. There was an uncanny feeling surrounded by silence.
He opened his mouth to fill the emptiness in the room. "I've always been terrified of falling in love," he admitted. James didn't know what he was saying but he wanted to share these stories with her. "My parents, their love seemed to lighten any room. When my father passed, my mother was so melancholy, she barely ate or drank. There were some days where she could go hours before being coaxed by a maid to eat a small morsel of food. It was as if she no longer wanted to live without him. He was her reason for living, and once that had been taken away, nothing else mattered."
It had taken James a great deal of reflection to realize that he was terrified to go through what his mother did. It was his conversation with Aunt Esme in the garden that helped open his eyes to the truth. She had been right; he was angry with his parents for leaving him alone in the world. He was angry at his mother for loving his father so much that she could no longer be there for him. However, the last few weeks made him realize how foolish he had been. It was not his father's fault that he had been taken away from this world early. Nor was it his mothers for falling sick after the death of her beloved.
James reached out his right hand to place it upon Vivienne's. It felt warm and soothing and something about the connection made him blurt out the truth. "I rejected your feelings out of fear of what could one day happen to either of us. But if I have learned anything over the last week, it is that life can be short either way. It doesn't mean we should live a life without love because we fear the worse."
He smiled softly, "I'm an idiot for taking so long to come to that realization but I've finally arrived at it. Now, I am waiting for you Vivienne, as you did the same for me. You just need to wake up first so I can apologize about being an imbecile."
There was a small twitch beneath his hands and James eyes shot up to her face, immediately on alert. He glanced down back at his hands. He was not imagining it, Vivienne had moved. It was possible that Vivienne was responding to his voice and words. After all, it was Ballard who had suggested the technique of speaking to her in the first place.
James needed to continue trying. He abandoned the chair, moving closer to the bed. His voice was steady and loud, with a current of urgency beneath it. "If you can hear me Vivienne, it is time for you to return now. I love you, and I need you with me. I thought I could live without you and not love you, but I have learned that this life is nothing without your love. You almost slipped out of my grasps once, but I will not allow it again.
"It is you who lights up my heart whenever it becomes enshrouded in darkness. There is nobody else who challenges me the way you do. Your eyes haunt me whenever I go, your laughter is the sound that echoes in every chamber of my heart, and you inspire me like nobody else does. I need the love of my life to come back to me," he begged, squeezing her hand tightly. "I'll do anything to earn your forgiveness, but you need to give me a second chance to prove myself first. Come back to me love."
Vivienne's hand squeezed his own in answering response.
***
Come back to me love.
The words echoed far away in the distance, volleying between the slopes of her consciousness. She recognized the deep timber though. It was James' voice. He seemed to be calling her back to him. Her heart yearned to be close to him, the man whom she loved. Her body ached and there was a weight on her chest, but it seemed to lighten with his voice.
James. James. James. Her heart sung to the beat of his name.
Vivienne's eyes felt heavy, but she wanted to open them up to get one final look at him. She did not know if she could make it through the pain, but before she crossed the road to whatever lay on the other side, she needed to etch his face into her memory forever. Forcing her eyes open slowly, she laid her gaze upon James.
His brown eyes shimmered in the darkness, and they glowed at her. His mouth was wide open in surprise as he uttered a couple of words. It took her a while to understand what he said.
"Stay with me Vivienne. Don't you dare close your eyes now."
The command in his voice irked Vivienne and she almost wanted to close her eyes to spite him. Instead, she narrowed them into slits, "Am I dreaming?" she rasped, surprised by the way her own voice sounded.
She saw the moment his face transformed, and relief flooded it. "No," he said. "You are finally awake."
Vivienne glanced at her surroundings, taking in the familiar curtains and armoire in the corner. She seemed to be back into her old room at the duke's manor. "How did I get here?"
"I pulled you out of the water."
"Water?" she asked in confusion. The last memory she had was of being dragged across the ship by a man. She'd believed that had been her last moment on earth. How'd she end up in the ocean then?
Vivienne saw James' jaw tighten, "You were thrown overboard, and I helped you back to the surface."
Vivienne nodded absentmindedly as she processed what James was telling her. Her body frozen when a sudden thought popped into her head, "My uncle, how is he? Did you save him as well?"
James avoided her gaze and Vivienne knew the words before he uttered them. A pang of sadness hit her, "Say it," she demanded.
James took a deep breath, his brandy-coloured eyes boring into hers, "He didn't make it Vivienne."
Tears gathered in the corner of her eyes. Her uncle had given up his life so that she could live. He had protected her and now he was gone. Poor Grayson, he no longer had a father either. She tried to sit up, using the support of her hands but found her right one pinned underneath James' hand. She gave him a quizzed glance as he leaned in forward to wipe away her tears, "What are you doing?"
"Wiping away your tears," he said nonchalantly as if it was a normal occurrence. "Why are you crying? Because of your uncle? He wasn't a good man, Vivienne." The words were hard and unforgiving, "He put your life at risk and was responsible for the murder of our fathers."
"But he wasn't," Vivienne said softly.
He opened his mouth, presumably to get her to explain what she meant. However, he didn't get the chance as the door swung open with a loud creak, revealing Lady Torrington.
"You're awake!" The dowager countess said in a matter-of-fact tone as she walked in alarming speed with her cane in hand. "I thought I heard voices, and I was correct in assuming it wasn't James' usual mumbling."
Vivienne blinked in surprise, "Lady Torrington, what are you doing here?"
"That was my question as well," James mumbled.
"I heard about your injury Vivienne. You did not think I would come to make sure you were fine with my own two eyes? I can barely trust anyone else around here," she said gruffly, but her grey eyes held a note of affection that made Vivienne's heart bloom. Lady Torrington cared enough about her health to make the trip to London, a journey that would not have been easy for her.
"Thank you, Lady Torrington, but as you can see, I'm fine."
The dowager countess hmphed. "Last time I checked young lady; you did not become a physician overnight. So, until I believe the words out of the good doctor's mouth, I will not be soothed."
Vivienne swung her gaze back to James as if to get him to agree but he seemed to be on the same page as his aunt. He stood, ringing the bell for a servant to come forward. Meanwhile Lady Torrington settled into the chaise on the far end of the bed. Preston came into the room seconds later, "You called, Your Grace?"
The butler's surprised gaze went to Vivienne, "Your awake my lady," he said in awe, like he was unable to help himself.
Vivienne hid a smile. She did not think she had seen the butler surprised very often.
"It's good to see you again as well Preston."
"Yes, but it would be better to call Ballard back to the manor," James cut in without glancing back at Vivienne.
The butler nodded at once, understanding the duke's message. "I shall call him at once."
He bowed, reaching for the door to exit, only it swung open on him, almost making the butler tumble. Preston quickly composed himself, but Vivienne's gaze was fixed on the figure hovering by the door. She rubbed her eyes, surely, she was dreaming...
"Vivienne!" Agatha shouted as she quickly closed the distanced and engulfed Vivienne in a tight hug.
Vivienne could barely breathe in the embrace, but her mind was still reeling from the simple fact that it was Agatha who was hugging her.
"You're alive," she choked out, tears gathering in the corner of her eyes.
Agatha released her slightly, but her arms were still holding onto Vivienne's. Her governess looked at her with a loving smile on her face and Vivienne couldn't hold it anymore, she started sobbing loudly.
"Hush now," Agatha said soothingly, as she rubbed Vivienne's arms. "You're safe now."
"I thought you were dead," Vivienne blubbered in between her tears.
Agatha shook her head, "It would take a lot for someone to kill me dear."
Vivienne gave her a whisper of a smile, even as her chest continued warming up. All those days she had wished for Agatha to be by her side and now she was. The loneliness that had sometimes trailed Vivienne would be no more. She had Agatha with her.
"How did you even get here?" she asked in bewilderment.
Agatha exchanged a glance with James that Vivienne could not read.
"It would make more sense to start from the beginning," James said.
"Oh, for heavens sake, she has just woken up! Let the girl breathe before bombarding her with your dark tales," Lady Torrington exclaimed.
"No," Vivienne interrupted, ignoring the cross look on the dowager countesses face. "I need to know."
Agatha looked into Vivienne's eyes, and she knew her governess could see that she would not rest until she was told the entire story. Nodding once, Agatha covered Vivienne with the blanket and fluffed the pillows behind her back. "It all began when your father approached me one evening..."
***
Vivienne was still reeling from the story Agatha had shared, and glancing at Lady Torrington's pointed eyebrows, she was not the only one. The mystery of her father sending her away was finally solved. Her parents had loved her, but they wanted to keep her safe above everything. Hearing the duke's descriptions of the letters between her uncle and the French deeply wounded her. She knew about them from her uncle's confession, but the words still hit harder than she would have liked.
"That bastard!" Lady Torrington said angrily. "If I knew the earl had no honour, I would have exposed him at once."
Vivienne was shocked at the language, and she could see James struggling not to smile at his aunt's unladylike words. She glanced back at the dowager, "Please don't speak about him like that. He was tortured, blackmailed and broken until he was a shell of the man he once was."
"I never would have been a traitor to the crown even if I endured what he had," Lady Torrington said swiftly.
Vivienne wanted to smile at the declaration, but her face remained solemn. "My lady, we could never make that assumption as we have thankfully never been in that position. We may say that we will behave one way, but when hardship falls upon us, our decisions may be different than we would have liked. But my uncle did sacrifice his life for me, and I am grateful for that."
"He was feeling guilty for being involved in the murder of your father Viv," James quipped. His brows were furrowed as if he could not believe that Vivienne was defending her uncle.
"It was the French, James," she said slowly. "They were the ones who orchestrated the carriage incident when they realized our fathers knew too much. My uncle harbored years of guilt after that but let the man rest in peace now. I bare no ill will towards him."
James looked as though he wanted to argue but there was another knock on the door.
"Who is it?" James inquired.
"Ballard, Your Grace."
"Come in."
The door opened and the physician stepped in. Immediately, his gaze landed on Vivienne, ignoring the other occupants of the room.
"It is good to see you awake my lady. You gave us quite a scare."
Vivienne smiled faintly, as Ballard stepped closer to the bed. Agatha stood, giving the physician more room. "Now could you tell everyone I'm alright so they can stop with the worrying looks on their faces."
Ballard pulled out a strange looking device from his bag. Two prods went into his ear, and he held the flat part in his right hand, "May I?"
Vivienne gave him a nod and Ballard pressed the cold metal part to her chest. Her cheeks pinkened and she hoped that nobody else in the room noticed.
"Breathe in and out my lady."
Vivienne did as he commanded. She repeated the steps a few more times before Ballard pushed the instrument away from her body.
"Well?" James asked expectantly.
Ballard swung his gaze to the duke, "She seems to be in much better health Your Grace. I would still give my lady some more rest as that never hurts anyone."
"That is exactly what I was suggesting," Lady Torrington said with a humph. "But nobody listened to me."
James ignored his aunt, instead he turned towards the physician. "Thank you for coming here so quickly and always taking care of Lady Vivienne."
The physician gave Vivienne a soft smile. "I don't like to visit here as much my lady. But as I told his grace, it would do well to keep an eye on you. You are quite prone to injury. I wouldn't want to make it a habit of visiting me too often now..."
Vivienne blushed at the words, laughing them away. "Would you believe me if I said I don't mean to find trouble, but instead it finds me?"
"It won't anymore," James cut in firmly.
Ballard's face did not move but Vivienne saw his lips twitch at the duke's statement. "Well, I'll be off now. If you need anything my lady, feel free to send a missive for me."
Vivienne nodded, "Thank you for always coming to my rescue."
"It is always a privileged to be able to help you Lady Vivienne."
With a nod towards the other occupants in the room, the doctor left. Lady Torrington stood as well, gripping her cane. "Well, it has been quite the invigorating night, but my body does require rest at my old age. I shall head to bed."
Agatha squeezed Vivienne's hand, "Rest dear, I'll be in the next room if you need me."
Vivienne's eyes teared at the comforting gesture. Her governess gave James another look, but the duke remained seated as well.
"Whatever you need to say to her Your Grace can be done in the morning. Let her rest like the physician recommended."
James looked hesitant to leave her but with his aunt also raising an eyebrow, he stood. His brandy-coloured eyes seared into Vivienne as he stepped forward to place a feathery kiss on her forehead. "I'll see you in the morning Vivienne, sweet dreams."
When the door shut behind them, Vivienne was indeed lulled into sweet dreams of a certain, handsome, amber-eyed duke.
--------------
A lot happened this chapter, including James confessing his feelings for Viv. Now only if he did it while she was awake. What do you think James has to say to Vivienne in the next chapter? Did you like the reunion between Vivienne and Agatha? An unrelated question, but do you guys prefer reading single or dual POVs? Also, throughout the story, was it clear when it was Vivienne's POV vs James? Would love to hear your thoughts on this! Only one chapter remaining...