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My eyes pried open in search of the strong force which kept shaking me senseless. I found Erin beside me, her hair neatly tucked behind her ear, an anxious look painted on her face. My heart sunk at the sight of her worried expression.
It took me some time to realize that I was in the studio until my eyes wandered to the canvases and brushes.
"I keep on knocking but you're not answering so I used my bobby pin to open the door. You've been here all evening, I thought you died or something," Erin explained but my mind was still out of it. I looked at her half-lidded then yawned.
I felt a throbbing sensation behind my neck as soon as I sat up then last night's sketching session clouded my mind. I must've fell asleep and slept in one position all night. After all, the couch was a tight space to sleep in.
A crunching sound with slightly sharp feeling pricked the sole of my foot as soon as I stepped the ground and saw a paper crumpled into a ball. I knew exactly what it contained as the memories of last night began bombarding my head.
"I know that I wouldn't be able to compensate on the happiness that she finds in her music if she marries me."
"I'm just protecting her."
Those exact words from Marcus haunted me the whole evening. I locked myself in the studio and thought that I could create another masterpiece. After all, it worked when I painted The Betrayal. Every emotion, every stem of my hate and shattered pieces of my torn heart went in the painting.
Hate.
I supposed it was my only drive when The Betrayal came to completion. Yet I couldn't even do the same thing this time around.
"What time is it?" my voice cracked at every syllable as my throat was parched. I swallowed hard.
"It's two o'clock in the afternoon," she replied when I looked up at her, meeting her narrowed eyes. "What happened to you last night? You look like a bruha." She pointed out.
I winced at the Filipino term she had learned from a classmate during English class. "When did I ever wake up pretty and without a drool in my face?"
The back of my hand brushed across my face after realizing my tendency to drool while sleeping, but surprisingly, last night was an exception.
"My point is that you look bothered... not hot—just bothered." Erin pointed out with a smile in her face.
I let out a small chuckle at her comment but my mouth quickly morphed into a straight line. Erin pick up one of the ripped paper on the floor. Her eyes narrowed at me.
"Alright. Spill the details. Now."
"There's nothing to spill."
"Nothing, eh?" Erin held up the paper, spreading it out in perfect view. It was one of the failed sketch from last night. Although the harsh scribbles and unfinished touches seemed undetectable, I knew Erin would still be able to tell who it was.
"Pray tell, Em, why is Marcus in all of your sketches? Did something bad happen?"
My eyes averted her piercing gaze. "Nope. Nothing happened and I'm just... practicing." I spat a lie, feeling bad altogether when Erin sighed in defeat.
"Come on, Em. You're not a good liar at all and I'm not a dumb blonde either,"
Finally, I looked at her straight in the eye with a brow arched. "How can you even tell that I'm lying?"
"Duh?" Erin rolled her eyes then waved her hand, signaling me to scoot over which I followed right away. "You have puffy eyes. The studio is a mess. There's a bunch of paper on the ground and take note—they are all the same subject. This is just like a re-run of when you and Jack broke up. That can only sum up to one thing: You need a major fix up."
Oh, here we go again.
"We are not going to a club."
Erin threw her head back and laughed out loud. "I knew you're going to say that. But if you don't tell me anything, I will personally pay Marcus a visit and punch the living hell out of him until he tells me what he did to you." She added, her expression more serious this time. Trust Erin Johnson to use negative reinforcement but I love her nonetheless.
I gave her a weak smile. "You're evil, you know that?"
"I know," She gave me a devious grin in return. "So, are you going to tell me now?"
"Well," I began as I sucked in a sharp breath. "Yesterday, Marcus finally told me the reason behind his refusal to marry Catherine Elton and he said he won't allow the marriage because he wants her to be happy."
Erin shot me a quizzical look so I continued on.
"But then his eyes were just so... so lifeless and so heartbreaking to look at I just—" I stopped, lost at my words that I started scratching the back of my head wildly.
"Ugh! Erin! Can you believe it? Marcus is still in love with her! STILL. He's being a goddamn martyr for doing all this! And here I am, drawing away my frustration, hoping that he'd just forget about her instead so he can move on with his life!"
Here I was, screaming at the top of my lungs like a madman in front of my best friend. The madness of the fake relationship charade I was in had finally manifested its final form. It wasn't pretty. And I'm already losing it. Fast.
"Are you mad at Marcus for hiding the fact that he is in love with Catherine, or are you mad at yourself for falling for him?"
The latter was a slap in the face, and Erin hit the nail on that one. I shook my head wildly.
"No, no, no. I'm not falling for him,"
"Really? Then why are you so agitated about it? And is this your plan? To paint away your frustration?" I expected Erin to pat my back and say comforting words. Instead she deadpanned, a brow slightly arched. "But hey, the last time you painted away your frustration, you hit jackpot so be my guest."
Erin reminded me of The Betrayal once more—the nakedness of my subjects threw me back to memory lane and I quickly shut it out.
"I'm trying to distract myself, but all that I remember is his sad expression. It's haunting me and I hate it."
"Well for one, I think you're going bananas over this mental painting you're doing. Honestly, stop it. I don't want to be the one to take you to an asylum, and two, I think you're not distracting yourself. Did he say that he's actually in love with her?"
"No, he didn't but if you can see how he acted and talked about her, you'll know that he still cares for her."
Erin shook her head. "You're hurt because you've developed feelings for him, Em. You don't hate him for having feelings for Catherine, you're mad at yourself for falling for him—look at you; you're killing yourself, drawing all night."
My teeth gritted in annoyance. "I don't get it. It was so easy with The Betrayal but now it's just..."
A struggle?
A painful process?
"What do you suggest me to do?" I asked.
She drew back a small grin, her eyes gleaming in anticipation. "Do you remember our senior semi-formal when I asked Ryan Newman, the captain of swimming team, to be my date?"
My cerulean eyes narrowed at her. Erin's anticipation somehow gave me a bad vibe as my brain started to picture Ryan Newman. I barely made conversations with him, but I had seen him casually talk to Jack and walk near my locker.
"Yeah, so?"
"And do you remember Vivian Chen who's been crushing on Ryan for ages but the poor girl is too shy to admit so I gave her a little push," Erin finished, pride written all over her face.
My brow shot up as soon as I remembered Vivien from the same student council as Erin and I had a hunch where this conversation was going. "You mean a huge push to the edge? You know she's been crushing on Ryan since grade nine and you nonchalantly asked the guy to be your date in front of her. You crushed her little soul."
"Yeah, but on the bright side, Vivian finally had the guts to step up and say her feelings out loud instead of just watching him on the sidelines. I did her a favor, if you ask me," Her mouth morphed into a broad smile as she winked at me. "And that's exactly what you're going to do."
My eyebrows furrowed, a little lost at where this conversation was going. "You want me to... crush Marcus's soul? Is this some voodoo shit?"
"Nooooo," She responded then paused briefly. "Probably. You might crush his soul but the point is—you, my little sapling, will play a little dirty. In this case, you will make Marcus jealous."
My eyes turned into little slits as I shook my head in disapproval. "Nope."
Erin's shoulder dropped instantly. "Why not? It's a foolproof plan."
"Didn't I tell you that he has feelings with somebody else? Marcus Don freakin' Valentine is selflessly and hopelessly in love with Catherine Elton," my voice came out weak when I muttered Catherine's name. I wasn't used to lumping their names together in a sentence, especially with the words "in love" involved.
"He kissed you right?"
"Y-yeah. So?"
"So? I'd be damned if Marcus won't be a tad bit jealous if you easily find another guy to make him jealous." Again, Erin arched a brow "Boys will be boys. It will work—trust me."
Initially, I doubted that. Marcus wasn't a high school boy. No. He was a human with feelings and his heart belonged to Catherine. A meager teenage girl wouldn't be able to replace someone like her; not in a million year and not in this lifetime, either.
I paused a minute as I stared into Erin's own cerulean pair that mildly mirrored mine. Erin was my go-to love advisor yet she hadn't been in love before. She claimed that she wouldn't like the taste of her own medicine, so she'd rather give the pill herself.
I let out an outbreath. Now, she wanted me to play the make-him-jealous card which I was never good at anyway.
I clasped my hands on my lap, a loud sound resonated around the room. "Nope. Not doing it." I replied then stood up, marching towards the door.
My stomach grumbled loudly but I needed to do a detour to the bathroom. I felt Erin tail behind me as I walked. My hand held the knob, twisting it to swing it open. Quickly, I went it and spun around only to find Erin standing on the opposite side of the door, her usual puppy dog eyes and her lower lip drooped down then batted her eyelashes.
"Why not?"
"Because I quit."
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A/N: Yes! This is all for the editing for now. I like the flow of the story so far, and I hope you do, too. For the first time readers, holla! ;) Tell me about your comment about the story so far <3
Song: ♪ I Think I'm In Love by Kat Dahlia ♪