~ Ryder's P.O.V ~
I slowly made my way to the center of the room and took a seat. I did a quick prayer before cocking the gun and placing it to my temple. All the things that I would lose if I pulled the trigger was running through my head but I just ignored them before closing my eyes and letting all my worries drift away.
"Hey Ry, do you........ Ryder what in the Fuck are you doing?" My eyes snapped open at the sound of Michael's voice. He was standing by the door wide eyed. He tried to run towards me and take the gun but I immediately pressed it against my temple harder.
"Michael please just leave. I don't want you to see this." I said trying to ignore the look on his face. Michael look like he was about to cry as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration.
"You expect me to just let you kill yourself? Are you serious? I know you think that there is nothing for you to live for but there is. You can live for your kids, Eliana, the guys and me. We all love you, please just think about what you're doing. Adam wouldn't want you to do this." Michael caustically crept towards me, his cheeks and nose pink from crying and his hair tussled from when he ran his hands through it. "Please don't do it Ryder. You mean so much to me. I can't lose you, losing you would be like losing the most important part of me and I won't be able to live with that. Please don't leave me, baby. Think about your kids, do you really want to leave them here without a mother? Please just know that You're not alone and you never will be, I'll always be here for you, even if you don't want me to be." Tears started to rush down my face as I dropped the gun. Michael immediately rushed over to me and pulled me on his lap before wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tight.
~ Michael's P.O.V ~
Ryder dropped the gun and started crying causing me to immediately rush over to her a pull her in my lap. She buried her face in the crook of my neck as her fist clenched my shirt. The sight of her being this broken and vulnerable hurt me more then any words can describe.
I slowly rocked us back and fourth as tears rolled down both of our faces. I don't know what I would do if I lost her. To be honest I don't think I could continue living if she wasn't by my side. I started to place kisses on her hair and face, trying to calm her down.
"I never thought I could feel this bad. I-I just couldn't take the pain." I hushed her as I pulled her face from the crook of my neck.
"Please don't say things like that. Promise me you will never do something like that again." I pleaded as I looked at her puffy brown eyes.
"Michael I can't do......." I cut her off before she could finish her sentence.
"Promise me." I said wrapping my arms around her tighter.
"I promise." The words flew from her swollen red lips as tears continue to pour out of her bloodshot eyes. I stood to my feet before picking Ryder up bridal style and carrying her to the bed. I gently placed her on the bed before climbing in next to her. I pulled her trembling body against mine before kissing her lips.
"Michael?" I wiped her tears away before answering
"Yes?" She took a deep breath trying to calm herself down
"Why do you love me? I'm a fucked up person, I don't deserve to be loved. I've hurt you so many times and yet you keep coming back. Doesn't it bother you that I love two other guys?" Her question made me speechless. I'm not exactly sure why I keep coming back.
"Of course it bothers me. I hate the fact that I have to deal with Calum and Zayn. You were mine and you still are. You might've hurt me but I've hurt you too and there is no way I can make up for all the mistakes I've made. Everyone deserves to be loved, no matter how messed up they might be. You are the only girl that I've ever loved. If me telling you isn't proof enough then the fact that I tried to find you for 5 years straight should be." I said kissing her lips.
"I don't deserve you. You mean so much to me, Mikey. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you. I'd do anything for you." She honestly stated.
"Anything?" I raised an eyebrow
"Anything, Why? What do you want me to do?" She said playing with my hair.
"Leave Calum."