Blair sat in silence next to Jason on the couch, the sounds of hundreds of conversations happening around her. Every moment since she had gotten the news about Jim Gordon had been thrown together into one big blur. She barely even remembered the funeral service the hour before. Now, she was sitting in the middle of the reception at Wayne Manor, not even speaking to Jason sitting next to her.
Two people passed by, one sitting down on Blair's other side, while the other handed her a glass of water. Blair took it, looking up to see Lena sitting down in the chair closest to the couch. She didn't even have to look to see who the blonde was sitting next to her, "It's important for you to stay hydrated."
"Thank you." She took a small sip, Jason lightly rubbing her back. Kara and Lena had flown in from National City the minute they had heard the news, helping her and Barbara put together the services and make calls.
In all that time, Blair hadn't cried, hadn't even focused on her own feelings, she just kept an eye on Barbara and checked in on the people her uncle was closest to. Kara and Lena both had tried to talking to her, tried getting her to open up, but had zero luck. They were worried, and with Jason next to her at all times, they weren't the only ones.
"Barbara shouldn't be handling everyone on her own." She said suddenly, putting the glass of water on the coffee table in front of her. "He was her dad, she should be the one allowed to hide away and mourn, not me."
Kara glanced over at Lena and over at Jason before looking at Blair in concern, "That's not how it works, Blair."
Blair ignored her, leaving the safety of her small support group to find Barbara. She didn't have to walk far, seeing her cousin by the window with one of the cops she vaguely remembered giving her uncle hell for working with vigilantes. The amount of headaches Gordon had because of him refusing to aid her and Batman was insane.
"Your father was a great man and an even better cop." He was saying as she got closer. Of course he was. "You should be proud." He looked over at Blair, standing up straight as she came to a stop next to Barbara. "Ah, Blair." He greeted. "I was just telling Barbara—"
"I heard." She interrupted him, not wanting to hear a repeat of the same thing everyone had been saying since the news had broken. Somehow, that's all anyone could ever say. It was frustrating. She was tired of it. "Great man and even better cop. He was an even better father."
"I bet he was." He tried, giving her an apologetic smile. Blair crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow. She was tired of the compliments on Gordon's job. None of that mattered to her and she was one hundred percent certain it didn't matter to Barbara either. They lost more than just a cop. They had lost a father. "I'm so sorry for your loss."
Barbara spoke before Blair could voice her opinion, "Thank you."
The man slowly walked away, occasionally looking over his shoulder at the two of them. Barbara ignored him while Blair narrowed her eyes in his direction. Why not just take a picture of them? It would last so much longer.
"How are you holding up?" Barbara asked softly, taking her attention away from the officer.
"Who cares how I'm holding up." She responded, waving her concern away. "How are you? I can clear the house of everyone in seconds, just say the word."
Barbara shook her head, "They're all here to pay their respects and share stories about the good old days. They deserve that just as much as we do." Even though she had a point, Blair couldn't help but feel like it was all too much. Half the people there only ever saw one side of her uncle. That was evident from the conversation she had interrupted.
"Have you talked to Bruce about what happened?" Barbara asked quietly. Blair shook her head, staring out the window. With all the chaos and pain of Gordon's death, she hadn't had the time or energy to ask about her newfound abilities. She barely had the time to check on Rachel and Gar. Truth be told, she didn't know if she even wanted the truth about herself.
She had no idea why she was looking out the window, she had no one she was looking for, no one was coming for her, but Blair still stared at the driveway. Barbara watched her with a sigh, knowing exactly who she was missing, "Have you called him?"
"Have I called who?"
Barbara raised an eyebrow, watching as Blair continued to stare out the window, "Well, there are some pretty notable people missing this."
"I don't know who you're talking about." Blair shrugged. Barbara stared at her until she dropped her hand from the curtain with a sigh, turning to face her. "Dawn's in the hospital and Hank is with her. Donna is in the middle of a case the last I heard."
"And Dick?"
Blair looked back out the window, swallowing hard, "He's in the middle of something important. He doesn't need to have his attention divided."
"Funny," Barbara scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. "I didn't think anything in the world would be more important to him than you."
Blair played with the curtains, staring at the end of the driveway. She knew there was no way he would show up, she hadn't called, he had no way of knowing what was happening, but she still waited. She just kept hoping the stupid minivan would pull into the driveway, even if just for a minute.
She wanted Dick to come home. She wanted him to be there, to tell her things would be okay, to help her figure it all out, but the one thing she wanted the most was for him to just hug her. She just wanted her big brother to make the pain go away, but that wasn't going to happen. He wasn't coming and that was her own fault. It was better this way, the kids needed him more than she did.
A hand lightly touched Blair's arm, followed by a soft greeting, "Hey genius."
Blair whirled around, dropping her hand from the curtain to see Barry Allen standing next to her, "Barry." She pulled him in for a hug, one he returned, squeezing her tightly. She pulled away, wiping tears from her eyes while his back was turned to greet Barbara. "Is Iris here?"
"No, she's feeling a little sick," Barry explained. Barbara raised an eyebrow, making eye contact with Blair. A little sick? Okay then, if that's what they were calling pregnancy nowadays. "But she's really sorry to miss this. She'll probably call you later to check in."
Blair nodded, glancing out the window again for no reason at all. Barry watched, looking to Barbara for an explanation, but she just shook her head. He cleared his throat, continuing to speak, "I'm sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to lose someone like this."
"Thank you for being able to make it." Barbara said with a sad, but appreciative smile.
"I wouldn't miss this." He glanced around the house, smiling when he saw one of the last pictures they had taken as a family before Barbara's attack on display. Blair had her eyes closed with her tongue sticking out of her mouth, Barbara was wearing a matching expression, and Gordon was in between them laughing. It was the last time they had looked like a normal and happy family.
"Gordon was one of the best men I knew, plus it meant a lot to the two of you." Barry continued as Blair turned back to join in the conversation once more. "He was always so proud of the both of you. Him and Joe would trade parenting stories for hours when they met up."
Barbara smiled at the thought of Gordon and Joe bonding over their kids while Blair searched the crowd of people, "Where is Joe? I saw him earlier, but I guess I lost him. I haven't exactly been paying much attention."
"I don't blame you, you've been through a lot in the past few days." Barry said in understanding, dropping his voice so no one overheard him. "I heard you've got some new abilities."
Blair stopped leaning against the window, standing up straight, her eyes wide. She could hear her heart beating in her ears as she struggled to talk over it, "Where— who told you that?"
"Officially, I heard from Bruce," Barry started, not noticing the small panic attack she was having at the idea of people already knowing what she could do before she knew herself. "But some of the cops were talking about how Knight Wolf took out half of Penguin's gang and Victor Fries without having to move."
"That's not entirely true." She said quickly, twisting the ring on her finger anxiously. Barbara wheeled her chair closer to her, whispering words that were meant to be calming, but had zero effect. "There was a lot of fighting and—"
Jason appeared by her side, almost as if from thin air, handing her the glass of water she had left behind on the coffee table, "Kara sent me over here to give you this. I think Lena put her up to it." Blair held the glass close to her chest, focusing on her breathing as Jason met Barry's eyes. "Hey man, Jason Todd."
Barry shook his hand, the conversation of Blair's new abilities seemingly at its end, "Barry Allen."
"I know," Jason admitted, placing a calming hand on the small of her back. "Blair talks about you."
Barry glanced between the two of them, hiding a smile at Jason's protective stance next to her, "She's talked about you too." Before he could say anything else, his phone started ringing. He pulled it out, looking at the Caller ID before slowly backing away from the group, "I have to take this, I'll be right back."
Blair let out a shakey breath as he walked away. A part of her knew that it wouldn't be long before people found out about her abilities, but she wasn't expecting to be blindsided with that fact so quickly. Even the police knew? How the hell was she supposed to live with that?
"Hey, it's just Barry." Barbara said, taking her hand and squeezing it reassuringly. "He was going to find out anyway. They all were."
Jason glanced over at the man talking into his phone by the door, "You trust him don't you?"
"Of course I do." Trusting Barry was never a question. Without a single doubt in her mind, she trusted him with her life. "I just didn't expect to get asked about it today. I didn't want—"
"I know."
Blair took a sip of the water Lena had been trying to get her to drink all day long before facing him, "How did you know I needed you?"
Jason jerked his head in the direction of Kara talking with Lena and Maria, "The Kryptonian heart monitor."
Of course it was Kara. Usually, she would launch into a lecture, but right now the best she could do was say, "I hate when she does that."
"Yeah, well, I appreciate it today." Jason shrugged, taking the glass of water from her hands to put on the windowsill before lacing his fingers through hers. "She's just keeping an eye on you to make sure you're okay."
Blair sighed, leaning her head on Jason's shoulder. She felt so tired. Tired and heavy, like she was carrying the weight of the entire world on her shoulders again. She almost forgot what that feeling felt like.
Without a warning, a girl around Blair's age, maybe a little bit older walked up to them. She looked somewhat familiar, but with everything going on, Blair had a hard time placing her anywhere.
"Hi, I'm Hazel Young." The girl introduced herself. The name was ringing bells, but Blair had no idea which bells. "I just want to say I'm so sorry for your loss. James Gordon was a great man, the city has suffered an enormous loss."
Barbara responded for them, knowing Blair was growing tired of hearing about the loss of Gordon in terms of how it effected the city. It was written all over her face, "Thank you, we appreciate that."
Before anyone could say anything else, Barry joined the group again with a glint in his eye that only meant Cisco had been on the other end of the phone call he had taken. "Hey, Blair, Barb, I'm so sorry but I have to go." He apologized quickly as Blair lifted her head from Jason's shoulder. "Something's happening in Central City—"
Blair waved his apology away, shaking her head, "Don't worry about it. Do what you've got to do."
Barry pulled Blair in for a hug, kissing the top of her head before looking her in the eyes, "If you need anything, call me. I'll be here as soon as I can."
"I know." Blair said with a small smile as he reached over, squeezing Barbara's hand.
Hazel moved out of Barry's way, watching as he dodged people with his phone to his ear as he headed to the door, "Central City is states away." She said, turning back to the group. "I doubt he'll get there in time for whatever's going on."
"He's using Bruce's jet," Blair lied quickly. It was actually one of the best lies she had ever come up with, probably because it was lying for someone else. "It takes less time that way." Hazel seemed to believe her, nodding as if everything suddenly made sense. "I'm sorry, what did you say your name was again?"
"Hazel Young, I work for the Gotham Gazette." She answered, reintroducing herself. Blair nodded in recognition, the name clicking in her head. "My first article was about one of the policies your uncle put into place regarding Batman, Robin, and Knight Wolf."
Barbara remembered the article with a smile, "The one that made it easier for them to work with the police. I remember."
"Yeah." Hazel nodded, glancing around at the flowers and pictures set up around the house. "It's crazy, I had an interview with him scheduled for the day after tomorrow and now..." She trailed off, everyone staying silent. After all, what were they supposed to say to that?
The silence between them didn't last long as Hazel launched into a full investigative report, "I heard that he was kidnapped by Victor Fries on Penguin's orders, that there was a hit out for the entire family. Is that true?"
Blair blinked in shock, the question catching her completely off guard. Only a few people knew the whole story behind Gordon's death and none of them wanted it to get out. As far as anyone knew, Gordon had lent a hand to Batman, Knight Wolf, and Robin and had succumbed to his injuries from the fight later on. No one else knew about the reward for the death or capture of the Gordon family.
"Excuse me?" Barbara asked, her voice dangerously calm.
"Sources said the house was completely wrecked, that there was blood and even a body being removed from the premises." Blair could quite literally feel the earth spinning on it axis, her heart beating loud in her ears with every word.
Hazel glanced back at Blair, focusing her attention on the cuts on her face and the dark bruises on her neck, "Get those in a fight at the house? Care to talk about it?"
Jason stepped forward, standing slightly in front of Blair defensively, "Care to keep going?"
From over on the couch, Kara and Lena both stood up, ready to intervene. Apparently Kara's super hearing wasn't just being used to monitor her heart, though with how loud and fast it was beating, Blair wasn't sure she could hear anything else.
Before Kara and Lena could join them, Jules stepped up, standing in between Jason and Hazel with a look so severe, Blair probably would've been taking pictures if the situation wasn't causing her to spiral. "Is there a problem here?" Jules snapped. "Here? At the funeral for my best friend's uncle?"
"Just had a few questions that's all." Hazel responded coolly.
Kara crossed her arms, standing directly behind her with Lena, "This is a man's funeral and you're harassing his daughters."
Hazel turned around, ready to argue her case further, but stopped when she saw who she would be arguing with. "Oh shit," She gasped, her eyes wide. "You're Kara Danvers and you're—"
"Lena Luthor," Lena cut her off, using the voice that was usually reserved for her family only. "Friend of the family you deem so interesting that you couldn't let them grieve in peace."
Without realizing it, Blair's hand went to her throat, tracing the bruises with her fingers. She didn't have anything in her closet that covered them, not anything that was appropriate for a funeral. With how tired she was, she didn't have the energy to cover them with makeup, so they were on display for the whole world to see, a thought that didn't occur to her until that very moment. The entire world could see the reminder of what she did, what she had to do just to survive.
Hazel watched the way she absentmindedly traced the bruises until Jason blocked her view, standing directly in front of Blair. Jules glanced over her shoulder before turning back to glare at Hazel, "I think it's time you found your way home."
"You can't do that."
"She can't, but I can." Barbara said, wheeling her chair closer, coming to a stop next to Jason. "This is my father's funeral and her home." She gestured to Blair over her shoulder. "You've overstayed your welcome."
Jules stepped forward, taking Hazel's arm, "Allow me to show you to the door."
Everyone watched her walk away, no one saying a word. After all, what could they say? Hazel had already said enough.
"And Young?" Barbara called after her, causing Jules to stop the both of them so she could finish. Hazel looked over her shoulder expectantly. "Don't expect me to forget this so quickly."
Everyone watched as Jules led Hazel out of the house, but the damage had already been done. Every question rang in Blair's head like an echo she couldn't get rid of. Those questions turned into memories and those memories made the whole world turn upside down on her. She couldn't do this here, not now.
Jason turned around to face her, stopping when he saw her face, "B—"
"I need some air." She gasped, her voice coming out raspy. It felt like the walls were closing in on her, everyone was too close. "I need to get out of here."
Barbara reached for her, but Blair was out of reach before she even had the chance to help her, shoving through the groups of people gathered around to talk about the good old days with her uncle. A few people stopped talking, trying to draw her into their conversations, but she kept pushing past them. She couldn't even tell who was talking to her, all the words were just blending together.
She finally made it to the back door, pushing it open, thankful that no one else had thought of taking the reception outside. It was quiet, the only sound she could hear was the muffled noise from inside and the occasional bird chirping.
Without another second of thinking, Blair sank down to the steps leading to the patio. It was like her legs had just decided to stop working, not that she could blame them; she didn't exactly want to be working right then either. She just wanted to crawl into the hole that had been dug for her uncle's burial and never come out of it.
She put her head in her hands, trying to stop all the dark thoughts from spinning around in her brain. A sob rose up in her chest, but instead of letting it out, she stared up at the sky, watching as the grey clouds passed overhead.
The loneliness she felt didn't last for long as someone sat down next to her in silence. When she glanced over at the newcomer, she saw Johnny sitting there, just enjoying the silence with her. "What are you doing out here?"
"Checking up on you." He said, looking up at the clouds with her. "You practically plowed me over to get out of there, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"Okay seems like a really loose term there."
"Well, I don't expect you to start dancing to the Macarena or anything. I meant it in the broader sense of the word." Blair shrugged, shifting her gaze to the green grass just past the cobblestone patio. Johnny sighed, leaning back on his hands, "I saw a bit of what happened inside."
"Oh that." She shook her head, thinking about the hundreds of reporters that had stood outside the cemetery gates and outside of the church before then. They weren't allowed to come to the reception, but obviously that didn't matter. "It probably won't be the last time I'll have to deal with something like that."
Johnny shook his head, rolling his eyes in disgust, "I don't even know what to say. No, wait, I do." Blair raised an eyebrow, waiting for what he was going to say next. "People suck."
For the first time in days, she let out a small laugh, "That's the first honest thing I've heard anyone say to me today." She took his hand, giving him a small smile. "Thank you."
He leaned his head against hers comfortingly for a moment before reaching into his jacket pocket, "That reminds me," He pulled out a folded piece of paper, a little crumbled from its journey in his pockets. "Someone asked me to give this to you. I bet you know who."
Blair took the note from his hands, knowing exactly who would be writing to her at a time like this, who would trust Johnny with the task of giving it to her. She flipped it around in her hands, not sure if she wanted to read it just yet.
She was saved from having to make the decision when the back door opened again, Jason slowly stepping outside. Johnny twisted around to give him a small wave, turning back to her with a reassuring smile, "I'm going to go back inside, tell Barbara you're as okay as you can be."
Blair nodded, giving him a small smile in return, "Thank you."
Johnny squeezed her hand before taking his leave, patting Jason on the shoulder before disappearing inside.
"How's Barbara?" She asked quietly as he sat down next to her, feeling guilty for leaving her to handle the reception by herself.
"She's managing."
"I shouldn't have left her alone like that."
Jason sighed, "Don't worry about it. She's got Kara and Lena and the hundreds of cops to keep her company."
"They aren't her actual family." Blair said, standing up. "I should go back inside."
Before she could walk back inside, Jason grabbed her hand, pulling her to a stop, "You know you're allowed to feel things, right?"
"What?"
"You're allowed to feel as shitty as you want." He clarified, drawing her back to him, away from the crowds of people inside. It was obvious that she didn't need to be around all of that right then. "You're allowed to grieve however you need to. You don't have to be everything for everyone all the time."
Blair swallowed hard, feeling those same tears threatening to return, "I don't— I don't know how to do anything else."
Jason tugged on her arm, pulling her away from the house, "Come on."
Blair allowed him to lead her off the patio, further and further from the house. They finally came to a stop a good distance away from the house, by a group of trees. Jason sat down, gesturing to the spot next to him.
She looked over her shoulder before sitting down, her back against the tree trunk. They were far enough away that they wouldn't be found right away, but close enough that she could still see the house. At least if she was needed, she could always run back.
"There." Jason announced, giving her his full, undivided attention. "Now it's just me and you. No one else. Feel whatever you want. You need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, scream. Just worry about yourself for once."
Blair stares up at the tree branches, watching as the wind blew through them, causing the leaves to shake slightly. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, she wanted to do all of those things— the problem was, she kept thinking of Barbara, of Harvey and Maria. They needed this more than she did.
"I don't know how to do that." She said quietly, finally looking at him.
"What do you mean?"
"When my parents died, I was young." She pulled her knees up to her chest, keeping her arms wrapped around her legs. "I mean, I felt it then, I cried, I yelled, I broke things. I didn't care what anyone else felt or wanted, all I knew was that I wanted them back."
Jason nodded, thinking about his own parents. Everything she was saying was how he had felt himself, "That's normal, B."
"I know it is."
"Then—"
"When Garth died, everyone else needed somebody strong. They didn't need to worry about the kid on top of everything else." Losing Garth was like losing a brother. Everyone felt it, everyone was in so much pain when she had shown up for the week. It was like the team had lost the ability to function and she was the only thing keeping them afloat for that week of hell. "I was the one that held Donna all night long when she cried. I kept the alcohol stashed away so Hank didn't slip up. I talked to Dick for Dawn since he wouldn't talk."
Jason clenched his jaw. Blair had never really talked about Garth or his death before and now he could see why.
"I took care of them the best I could, then I had to come home, get back to work." She continued, ignoring the heavy feeling in her chest as she relived those few months. It was hard to tell if the pain she was feeling was from what she was talking about or from the past few days. "I didn't have time to grieve like everyone else. Then Jericho—" She stopped, taking a deep breath. "I don't know. I only know how to take care of everyone else."
"That's not right, babe." He said when he finally had the words. Years. She hadn't been able to grieve for years, too busy taking care of the people that were supposed to be taking care of her. "You have every right to grieve the people you've lost. You don't have to be strong for everyone else. You lost them too."
Blair didn't respond, flipping the folded up piece of paper in her hands absentmindedly. Jason glanced down at her hands, nudging her gently, "You should read it."
Blair nodded, taking a deep breath as she unfolded the note. She could practically hear Harley's voice as she read it:
"Hey BW, I heard about your uncle and I just wanted to say I'm sorry. He was one of the only cops that wasn't a piece of shit in this town. He actually treated me like a person which was nice, I totally see where you got that from. I wish I could be there with you, helping you kick out all the phonies (because let's be real for a sec, there's always phonies... I hope that made you laugh), but this is the best I could do on short notice. Do me a favor, since I know you won't do it for yourself, do this one favor for me: grieve. Fuck everyone else. Worry about yourself. You're just as fucking important as everyone else. Try to believe that. I love you, see you soon. Also, Ivy says hi."
When she finished reading, she passed the noted over to Jason, biting her lip to keep from crying. She didn't even know why she was still refusing to let go at this point. It was just all she knew how to do.
Jason read the note silently before handing it back to her, saying softly, "Even Harley says it, B."
"I know."
"We care about you. We love you." He said, watching as she stared off into the distance. "We just want you to take care of yourself the same way you take care of everyone else."
Blair didn't speak, she just laid down with her head in his lap, wishing for everything to stop hurting so much. There was so much pain everywhere, she couldn't even pinpoint where it was coming from. She didn't even recognize the voice that came from her mouth, "Everything hurts."
"I know, baby."
"I want it to stop."
"Just give it some time." He said, lacing his fingers through hers again, not asking her to sit up. She deserved this small moment of rest, even if it wasn't real rest. "It'll fade with time. You just have to feel it so it can."
Blair didn't know how much time passed, how long they just sat underneath the trees, her laying down on the grass feeling all the pain she was feeling. The one thing she did know was Jason didn't leave her, never asked her to speak, he just stayed with her. It was all they could do at that point; just sit in silence and listen to the wind rustle the leaves on the tree.
********
The house was completely empty, the only people still around that didn't live in the manor were Kara and Lena who had stayed behind to help clean up. The silence was deafening, the weight of all the grief, confusion, and fear Blair felt was threatening to boil over in one huge meltdown. She needed answers and she needed them now. Sitting on the couch while everyone cleaned up flowers around her wasn't going to help her any.
Without telling anyone where she was going, Blair left the living room, heading to Bruce's office, the last place she had seen him disappear to. If anyone was going to have answers, it would be the man with the biggest secrets himself.
Blair walked down the hallway, stopping when she saw the door to Bruce's office already open. She leaned against the doorway, seeing his back to her as he stared out the window, a glass of Scotch in his hand.
Now that she was standing in the doorway, what she needed to do felt impossible. It was the most terrifying thing she had ever felt in her life, but she needed answers. Pushing her fear aside, Blair spoke, her voice surprisingly steady, "I need to know how I did what I did to Freeze and Cobblepot's men."
Bruce sighed, lifting his glass to his lips without turning around, "I don't think now is a good time to explain."
"Bruce... please." She begged, stepping further into the room. This wasn't something she could just let go. If she didn't ask now, she never would. "I went into their minds, I attacked them with nightmares. I shielded Jason from gunfire. I couldn't do that a week ago!"
"Blair—"
Something inside of her started to crumble, breaking her strong facade. It couldn't go on like this, this was her life. She had every right to know about herself.
"No!" She snapped, finally gaining Bruce's full attention as he turned around to meet her pained gaze. "I am scared." She admitted, the events of the past few days slowly catching up with her. "The closest thing I had to a father... he's dead. He's dead and something inside me could have prevented that. Something inside me broke Freeze's mind and scared Cobblepot enough that he did whatever I said."
Bruce nodded, walking past her to close the door as he saw she wasn't giving up. The action made Blair nervous, but she pushed through it to ask, "What am I?"
Bruce sat down in one of the chairs by the fireplace, gesturing to the empty one across from him. Blair didn't hesitate to sit down despite the initial fear of what she would find out. Bruce took a breath before starting, "First off, some of your abilities are hereditary."
Blair blinked, not sure she had heard him correctly, "What?"
"Your shields." He explained. "Your father could do that too. In fact, your father could do a lot of things, even turn invisible at will."
Out of all the things she was expecting him to say, somehow the concept of her father being a superhuman with the ability to create force fields and turn invisible was not one of them. In fact, she actually thought her mother would've been the superhero if anything. "My dad was some sort of meta human?"
"Every now and then he would help me on a mission." Bruce admitted. It just kept getting crazier by the minute. "He stopped when he found out your mother was pregnant."
Blair leaned back in her chair, taking in all the information she just received. Her father was a vigilante, just like she was now. He had worked with Batman before any of them had. He gave up that life for her mother, for her, to have a family.
"Did she know about him?" She asked, but she felt as though she already knew the answer. Of course her mother knew. "About you?"
Just as she had thought, Bruce nodded in a confirmation, "Your parents were two of the only people that I trusted in the beginning."
"So you worked with my dad." She said, still trying to wrap her mind around it. Her father was a superhero, one of Batman's allies— suddenly, the fact that her godparents were Batman and Wonder Woman made perfect sense... but everyone knew but her, the one person that should've known. "My dad was a superhero and it never occurred to you to tell me?"
Bruce sighed, "There's a lot more to this, to your story."
"To my story." Blair scoffed, running a hand through her hair. "I don't think we can call it that as I don't even know it myself."
"Just because you don't know it, doesn't make it any less your story." Bruce said in a wise tone that rivaled Alfred's.
Blair shook her head. The last thing she wanted was her godfather to suddenly turn into some wise guru that knew all when she knew absolutely nothing. It wasn't fair, not when it came to something as important as this.
"So dad was a superhero and my super great new abilities come from—" She stopped, remembering what Bruce had said before. "Some of them." Bruce tilted his head in confusion, not quite hearing her. "You said some. Was mom—"
"No."
"Then what—"
Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, the same thing he always did when he was in a position he didn't want to be in. Usually, that expression was reserved for some stupid thing Jason did, but now it just seemed tragic, "I don't know if this is a good time to tell you about—"
"There's never going to be a good time, Bruce." Blair laughed humorlessly, wiping frustrated tears from her eyes. "I want to know where and how I went from being normal me to this walking horror show."
Bruce nodded, taking a breath before starting, "When Stephanie was pregnant with you, she was visiting a friend of hers that worked at Gotham University, Leslie Tompkins." Blair briefly remembered the woman from a few of the charity events for mental health awareness. Jules loved her. "Crane was still experimenting with fear toxin then and somehow your mother and her friend got sucked into one, taken hostage."
Blair held up a hand to stop him, the little bit of information he gave her heavier than what she was expecting, "Wait, why have I never heard about this? My mom was experimented on?" Bruce nodded. Somehow, that just made it worse, the simple nod. "I take it my dad knew." He nodded again, which only irritated her. "My uncle?"
"Everyone knew, Blair." He could've said more, but he stayed silent, allowing her to gather her thoughts.
"Okay, why was all of this kept from me?" She asked finally. First her father was a superhero and now her mother had been one of Crane's first test subjects. Her mother was the first to die in the bank and one of the first ever dosed with fear toxin, a fact no one ever bothered to tell her all twenty years of her life. "She was my mom and I— he dosed her with fear toxin."Realization sank in at the words. Her mother was dosed while pregnant. "He dosed me with fear toxin."
The silence from Bruce's chair was so loud, it was practically screaming. Meeting his gaze, she asked quietly, "What did it do to me?"
"I think you already know the answer to that." He answered, giving her the damning confirmation she was hoping he wouldn't.
Blair swallowed hard, ignoring the thoughts in her head telling her to stop while she was ahead, to accept what she had been told already as final, "How?"
"The best thing I can give you is a theory." Blair waited for him to continue. A theory was better than what she had to go off of now. As of right now, she had nothing. "When it happened, you were developed enough that your father's— well— your abilities made sure you survived, but that's as much as they could do." Bruce sighed, shaking his head. "Clark said that something about you seemed different when he checked to make sure you were still alive, but he wasn't sure what. Now we know."
"Why now?" Blair snapped in frustration. For twenty years, she had no idea she had powers. For twenty years, they just kept themselves hidden. She could've used them. She could've saved so many more lives with them. "Why now after twenty years? For twenty years, I was a normal girl with zero special powers, and now all of a sudden my dad was a superhero, my mom was one of Crane's test subjects, and I'm a product of both."
Bruce opened his mouth to say something, but Blair cut him off, shaking her head in disbelief, "I'm Crane's drug baby. Does he know?"
"No. I doubt he'll ever figure it out." Bruce answered honestly. "As far as anyone knows, Blair Wilde is just a normal girl."
Blair let out another humorless laugh, wiping frustrated tears from her eyes, "Twenty years." At this point, she couldn't even tell if it was frustration or everything finally catching up to her. It was all mixed together. "It took twenty years for them to show up."
Bruce stood up from his chair with a sigh, walking over to his desk, "That's not entirely true."
"I'm pretty sure I would notice if I was using psychological warfare and creating force fields, Bruce."
He didn't say anything, he didn't even look her way as he opened a drawer at the bottom of the desk, pulling out a medium sized wooden box. Blair wiped her eyes again, eying the box in curiosity, "What are you doing? What is that?"
Without a single word, Bruce tipped the box, spilling the contents onto the desk. Blair jumped up as handfuls of tiny pieces of metal tumbled onto the hard wood. She walked over to the desk, picking up one of the shining metal debris to study it closely, "Is this— is this a bullet?"
"It was." Bruce nodded, surveying the mess in front of him. "All of these were at one point."
Blair picked up a small handful of broken bullets while Bruce reached into his desk again, pulling out a smaller box. Curiosity winning out once again, she dropped the bits of metal she was holding, watching as he opened it up, setting it right on top of the pile he had just unloaded. Three more broken bullet pieces glistened up at her.
She stared at the three pieces, unable to look away as she asked, "Why is that one separate from these?"
"Because," Bruce said slowly. "This is the one that was supposed to kill you twelve years ago."
Blair looked up sharply, "No. No, Dick jumped in front of that. I remember." Boy, did she remember. She was terrified that Robin was going to die protecting her just like her parents had.
"And when he did, it never hit him. You stopped it." Bruce glanced down at the bullets on the desk, shaking his head like even he couldn't believe what he was saying. "All of these were from you. You never let a single bullet touch him, not if you could help it."
Blair backed away from the desk, almost stumbling into a chair in shock, "What?"
"You—"
"No." She shook her head. There was no way she did that. She didn't protect Dick, she didn't shield him. He did that for her. There was no way. "No, Dick has been shot before. I've been shot before."
"You didn't do it all the time. Just enough. Just enough to protect yourself and him." Blair stared at the pile of bullets in front of her, not saying a word. Bruce sighed, "When you were with Dick last week, something triggered your abilities, shifted them into high gear. I'm guessing it was the kids."
She finally met his gaze at the mention of Rachel and Gar, narrowing her eyes, "What? What do they have to do with this?"
"Your instinct to protect them was stronger than whatever mental block you had that was keeping you from using your powers." He said, like it was the obvious conclusion.
"How would you know that?" Blair exclaimed. The entire idea was ridiculous... then it wasn't. "I didn't— that's why she couldn't feel me."
"Rachel couldn't feel you because you shut her out. A mental shield." He explained, all of the missing pieces from that trip falling into place. Rachel said she felt a block when trying to see into her head, but they both had brushed it off as the chaos of the day. "One that protected your mind from her and her from whatever you were feeling. I wouldn't be surprised if you used one of your shields to protect them either."
Blair stared up at him, her voice low, "I asked you about Rachel when I got home. I told you what happened. You said you didn't know why she couldn't feel me." He had lied to her. Again. "Why didn't you tell me then?"
"You had just gotten home with Jason. Something happened with Dick you still won't tell me about." Bruce tried. "Regardless, you were happy. I didn't want—"
"To what? Blow up my life?" She snapped, feeling both terrified and angry. What a combination. "If I had known about these stupid abilities, I could've used them. I could've— my uncle would be alive."
Bruce shook his head, "We don't know that."
"Things would be different," She shot back. "You know that." She let out a yell of frustration, hitting the desk with her hand. The lamp flickered next to her, causing her to eye it and shake her head in defeat. "I'm guessing that's another part of my freak show, huh? Couldn't save my uncle, but hey, at least I can put on a fucking light show and make your brain a haunted house."
Bruce walked around the desk, stopping in front of her, "You can't blame yourself for this."
He reached for her arm, but she jerked away, walking out of the office. She couldn't handle him trying to convince her things were okay. Not now. Not after everything she had just learned.
If Bruce was anyone else, Blair knew he would've followed her, but Bruce wasn't anyone else. He was Bruce. He was Batman. And neither one of them followed her.
********
Jason sat on the couch, leaning forward as Kara and Lena played with Popchik next to him. The little guy knew something was wrong, but didn't quite know what it was. Kara had been sneaking him so many treats that he probably wouldn't eat his food later, but Jason figured Blair wouldn't really mind at this point.
Blair had disappeared down the hallway that lead to Bruce's office over an hour ago and hadn't come back out. He could only imagine what she was finding out about herself now.
Somehow, after the initial shock had worn off, Jason didn't find the fact that his girlfriend had powers all that surprising. After all, he had seen her survive a drug that was supposed to have killed her. The more he thought about it, the more sense Blair having powers made. If any of them was going to be half-goddess, it would be her.
Barbara stared down the hallway before turning to Kara, "What are they saying? Can you hear them?"
"No, I can't," Kara shook her head, letting Popchik jump on Lena. "But that's because I'm not trying to. This is something she deserves privacy for."
Before Barbara had the chance to argue, Blair slowly appeared in the entrance of the hallway. Jason shot up from his seat, not waiting for any of the girls to tell him no or to follow.
When Blair finally made it into the living room, any and all conversations stopped. The truth was, no one knew what to say. She looked so lost and broken, not looking at a single person in the room, just at the wooden floor hugging her arms to her chest. It scared them— scared Jason the most.
Jason took a small step forward, not sure if he should take anymore. He didn't know whether she wanted space or wanted him near her, they weren't exactly in familiar territory.
Blair lifted her gaze, meeting Jason's concerned eyes. Just one look was all it took to open the floodgates of emotions she had pent up for the past few days, hell, the past year really. For the first time in six years, she didn't care who was in the room or what they would think, she just let go.
Jason pulled her to him, holding her tightly as she let out the tears she had been holding in for days. The weight of everything was finally too much, she couldn't take it anymore.
Once she started crying, she couldn't stop. All she felt was pain, guilt, and anger, six years worth of it. No one said anything, no one even moved. Jason held onto her, letting her grieve and mourn, not sure how much she was mourning, just knowing it was what she needed. It wasn't everything, but it was a start.
********
Dick stared out the window of Donna's Jeep, the scenery blurring by. He reached over to turn on the radio when Donna smacked his hand, "Ow, why?"
"It's my Jeep, I choose the music." She said, flipping through the stations. "Besides, aren't you supposed to be the navigator?"
"Just keep going straight down the straight highway with no turns or exits for the next hundred miles." He said, cheekily. "It shouldn't be that complicated."
"Would you like to walk the rest of the way?" Donna asked, raising an eyebrow. "Because I can make that happen."
Dick rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he looked out the window again. In a few hours, they would switch positions and he would be the one driving the rest of the way to Angela's house, but for right now, he could just think.
He thought of everything; Kory's mission to kill Rachel, what it meant for them, for everyone involved... then his mind drifted to Gotham City, specifically the little sister he had let down one too many times. He hadn't talked to her since she left with Jason, though she checked in with the kids on an almost daily basis.
Every time he had asked Gar or Rachel about it, they said the same thing: She missed him, but still needed time. If he would've known him leaving was going to hurt her that badly, he would've fought harder for her to leave with him. After all, it was his fault she was in this life as deep as she was.
Donna finally settled on a radio station, the sound Fleetwood Mac's Landslide playing softly through the speakers. He didn't know what it was, whether it was the song or just the way the road was, but everything felt so much heavier than it did before.
Donna glanced over at him, a look of concern crossing her face, "Dick, are you okay?"
"After we figure out what's going on here, we need to go back to Gotham." He said suddenly. The heavy feeling was something he had felt before, and each time he did, something was wrong with Blair. "I need to go back to Gotham."
"Are you insane?" Donna exclaimed, eyes darting between him and the road. "You got out. You quit. Why would you want to go back there?"
Dick shook his head, "Blair needs me. I can feel it. My sister needs me."
Donna pursed her lips, staring at him for a moment before focusing her attention back on the road. For years, she had tried to understand the instant connection Blair and Dick had; how, no matter the distance between them, no matter what was going on, they always knew when the other needed them. She could never quite grasp that concept despite considering Blair her own little sister.
"Fine," She sighed, pressing down further on the gas. "But I'm coming too. If she needs someone, I want to help."
Dick nodded, "Deal."
A/N: So I finally learned to edit and I have a few of them up on my TikTok if you guys want to see them (my username there is the same as it is on here, so maybeitsmaybank). Anyway, Hazel Young has a bad first impression, but she'll grow on you. She'll be here for a while: