" christmas 1975 „
tw: family violence/toxicity
HE HAD BEEN somewhat enjoying his year. His 16th birthday was the best yet, they had won 2/4 Quidditch matches, and he had successfully avoided his brother for 4 months.
The year did have some downsides such as; accidentally outing his friend, finding out he can feel remorse, losing 2/4 Quidditch matches and worst of all, having to go home.
So there Sirius was, getting drunk at the annual Christmas party.
He usually didn't mind them, when Andromeda was there, they would talk and the hours would go by. Or, when he talked to Narcissa, they would gossip about the happenings at Hogwarts. But he couldn't do any of that, he couldn't even flirt or muck around with someone because everywhere he turned, he was closely related to someone.
The large ballroom was filled with delicate, white tables that were filled with fancy foods and champagne. There were flying china plates that floated above the supremacist's heads as they chatted mindlessly. The floor was so clean, that the purebloods smiled at the thought of the house-elves spending hours scrubbing it clean with just sweat and spit. The roof was aligned with gold and white, the only dark colours in the room being the Malfoy manor emblem. It was a common sight in Pureblood houses.
The women were in elegant dresses, many lined the floor in their respective colours. The men wore suits, all were expensive and intricate. Sirius adorned a lavender coloured suit, a pocket watch chain hanging neatly on his chest, swaying as he moved. His brother and father wore the same thing, complementing each other wonderfully.
He grimaced at the thought of tonight's events.
They were fighting, him and his mother. The threat of his hair came up in the yelling match.
A tug on his hair brought him back to reality once more. "You don't behave tonight at the ball, I won't hesitate to conjure the scissors," His mother was threatened, a lock of Sirius's shoulder-length black hair wrapped around her skeleton-like fingers. Instinctively, Sirius jerked back. Pain flaring along the line of his scalp when his mother failed to let go of his hair.
Sirius had been growing it out all year. He liked the weight of it, the way it made him look. It was important. It was part of him, and the thought of her cutting it, taking it away from him, made him feel sick.
Walburga's eyes narrowed dangerously. "It's a deal then," she smiled deviously.
The night was near the end, and dessert was being served. So far, each girl under the age of 25 and over the age of 6 had been body-shamed or informed of their marriage arrangement to their 2nd cousin.
And as Sirius was being served his golden chocolate pudding, the voices of his aunt and uncle travelled through his pierced lobes, "the lycanth's are despicable, all of them. They don't deserve rights. Disgusting halfbreeds."
Sirius shifted in his seat. Don't say anything, he told himself. He rarely told himself that, but the echo of Euphemia Potters words circled his head, "Sirius dear, the more you stay out of trouble, the faster these holidays go."
"It's quite embarrassing when you overhear blood traitors sympathise with the beasts," his aunt laughed cruelly, "might as well study muggles and hop on the subway!"
The table erupted in laughter. Sirius looked up, making eye contact with his brother. Regulus spoke with his eyes, pleading his brother not to speak and just laugh fakely. Regulus knew of Remus's condition, he wasn't a moron. Regulus didn't speak his opinions often, he was more of an observer than a talker but he did respect some of his older brothers friends. He despised Potter and Pettigrew, but he regarded Jocelyn, Remus and Frank. So when it came to Remus's dark secret, he kept quiet. Not that anyone would ask him anyway.
"So, Walburga, have you talked to the council about your boys?" His aunt changed the subject. Sirius's head slowly perked up in confusion. What the fuck is the council?
He looked at his brother again but this time, Regulus's head stayed down. "I haven't yet, Roberta, no. But I am certain, Regulus won't let us down." His mother's skeleton-like skull stayed high in supremacy. The blatant favouritism oozed from her words and dripped from her sly, thin-lined smile.
"And Sirius?" "He'll... need some further training." The two ladies talked as if the two Black hairs weren't two seats down. "Well, you mustn't hesitate, the council is getting incredibly impatient and you wouldn't want the Dark Lord to get involved."
"I suppose you're right, thank you."
Sirius's head spun. They were gonna force them to fight in the war, the wrong side, of the war.
The party had ended- thank merlin -and the family was now sitting silently in the foyer. The only light was dim and blue. It came from the fireplace that Kreacher, oh-so obediently, lit for his masters.
His father stood stoically behind his mother, who was sitting intimidatingly in her throne-like armchair. "Boys, as we have discussed previously, you will be joining the Dark Lord's ranks. We are expecting you to represent the Noble and Ancient House of Black with the utmost decency and decorum, are we understood?"
Regulus nodded frozenly, whilst Sirius's eyes were cemented to the floor, "Good. Now we have been lenient with you two for too long,"
A dangerous scoff escaped the eldest Black heir. "Something to say?" Orion seethed, trudging towards his son. Orion towered over Sirius lividly, he was a tall and impatient bloke but his son was catching up to him in height and was beating him in impulsiveness.
"Lenient? Really? We must have different definitions."
"Do watch your mouth, boy! BEFORE I SEW IT CLOSED!"
"BUT HOW ON EARTH WILL I TALK TO THE DARK LORD IF MY LARGEMOUTH IS CLOSED?" Sirius matched his father's volume. "Eh? Father?" He spoke with his jaw clenched and spitting through his perfect pearly whites.
The tension built before a large smack echoed throughout the darkroom. Regulus flinched from his seat, while Walburga simply smiled.
"You better show some respect, boy." Orion grabbed Sirius by the collar, throwing him onto the nearest wall.
He landed on his arse, back arched against the wall and head flat as he looked up through his eyelashes towards his parent. A large yellow gash throbbed on his cheekbone as his long hair landed in front of his eyes.
Walburga stood up, next to her husband. "Regulus, get me the scissors." With a flick of her wand, the imperious curse made the boy stand, his back facing his caretakers. His lips quivered, knowing exactly what was about to happen.
He yelled and screamed, sobbed as his brother hesitantly gave his mother the rusted large scissors. She seized the boys beautiful locks aggressively. She took the scissors and cut through each strand callously.
His identity was stripped from him. His hair made him feel like him. It was the thing he was complimented about, it was the first argument he had won against his parents, it sounded conceded but his hair was the one thing he could control.
Once out of his spell, he looked behind him. His mother and father towering over him with sly smirks. So he ran, locked his door and cried.
Sobs that would break a mothers heart, one that would make anyone with redeemable qualities want to hug the poor boy. He felt he had been crying for hours. He stopped for a few moments feeling the exhaustion hit him before he treaded himself towards the luxurious bathroom next to his room.
He thought he was done crying until he looked up at the mirror. There he was, the large gauze that was still throbbing from the impact and the tears that fell in and stung him over and over again. His large puffy eyes and his eyelashes appeared longer with the number of tears he had shed. Sirius's hair was unevenly cut and matted.
This was the line.
He stomped back to his room, grabbing everything he could. After he was done, the only thing left was the Gryffindor and muggle nude posters that he had permanently stuck on his wall. The furniture stayed but the rest was empty. His room was already large but with all the clothes and rubbish away, it could store 40 homeless muggles.
He turned around and his brother stared at him. "Y-your not doing what I think your doing..."
"Come with me Reg."
"Sirius-"
"No. Don't think about it! We'll stay at the Potters and we can keep our hair as long as we want and we can wear anything and we don't have to watch where we step and we can be-"
"You are so selfish." Sirius blinked, his ramble turned into silence as his Adams Apple bobbed. "You can't just leave! We have responsibilities!"
"Oh please, so you're telling me, you want to work for Voldemort?"
"Well-"
"So you want to marry our 2nd cousin, once removed?"
"No, but-"
"You want to kick your future children around 'cause they talked to a blood traitor-"
"CAN YOU LET ME FINISH A GODDAMN SENTENCE!"
"No. You don't want to leave? Fine. But I am sure as hell not staying here." He knocked his brother's shoulder, making his way out the door.
Sirius stopped caring about the ruckus he was making, in fact, he needed to make noise. "No Sirius, you surely aren't going to leave me here, alone?"
"What in Salazar's ear is happening?" "Just saying goodbye, Walburga."
Walburga barked with a laugh, ending it with a scoff, "Goodbye?"
Usually, Sirius would have bowed his head in sarcastic shame by this point but his head stayed high. "I'm leaving, tonight was the last straw."
"You want to leave, fine! You are a disgrace to your noble ancestors!" Walburga howled. Sirius could have lipsynced this entire speech perfectly, he'd heard it all enough times, he could almost predict the next insult she'd spew. Blood traitor, he guessed. "Shame of my flesh-" Walburga screeched. That was a new one. "The embarrassment you've caused this family! I regret not kicking you out sooner!"
"You're not kicking me out, you decrepit cunt! I'm leaving!"
"YOU ARE NOT! GET BACK HERE, YOU FOOLISH BOY!" She began throwing spells at Sirius. She spat insults as Sirius dodged her hundreds of curses and jinxes.
"A DISGUSTING CHILD!" a spark of yellow came flying at Sirius. "MISERABLE!" this time a red spark. "VILE DISAPPOINTMENT!" purple. "ABOMINATION!" yellow again. "BEFOURLING THE BLOOD OF THIS NOBLE FAMILY!" a magenta spark missed Sirius's head by 3 inches.
"You're not too shabby yourself." He slammed the door in his mothers face.
Sirius stood in the middle of the road, in the dead of night. He looked up to see his little brother staring at him through the upstairs window in disgust. He shook his head before closing his blinds.
A blood curtailing scream came from 12 Grimmauld Place, London as Sirius crossed the road and he never returned to find out what it was.
A NOTE FROM ME:
• Holy shit this is so long and a day early </3
• umm yuh that happened so
• kinda hesitant to post this chapter lol
• this is how I imagine it, but if you want to read what this was inspired by: The Dog You Feed - ao3, it is heart-wrenching.
• I LOVE YOU GUYS! HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!
• Also don't forget to comment and vote !!
• 1853 story word count •