Chapter 7
The House of Andersen
Fucking hell.
Tama nga lahat ng sinabi nung babae kanina, Jeric Jacinto is big fucking deal.
At nasa harapan ko siya ngayon! Nakaupo sa long-table kung saan kahilera niya ang Creative Director, Main Designer, at OWNER ng House of Andersen. Kung nakaupo siya sa tabi nila, it only means one thing...
His opinion matters to them.
Tapos winala-wala ko lang ang pagpapakilala at pagsagot sa mga tanong niya sa akin kanina nung kinausap niya ako. Fuck, dapat talaga ay nakinig ako sa handler ko at sa bosses ko. Pero ginawa ko naman ang best ko maging polite at friendly!
Isang moment lang talaga kumawala ang totoong Asher kanina. Malas ko lang at sa harapan pa ito ng mukha ng House of Andersen. Shit talaga.
"Hello, everyone. Good afternoon," bati ko sa kanila matapos iabot ang portfolio ko sa kanila, ayon sa instruction ng isang staff na sumalubong sa pagpasok ko dito sa office ng Creative Director nila. His name is Ken Tomas, I only learned about his name because it was on the folder my handler gave to me earlier. Pati na rin pangalan ng mga kasama niya.
Si Jeric lang ang wala doon.
"Please introduce yourself, Asher."
"I am Asher Flores," I started introducing myself. "I'm 24 years old. I used to be a professional tennis player but now I am pursuing my modeling career."
"Seeing your portfolio, I can see that you're fairly new to this industry. You don't have that many photos and most of what you have here are for commercial photoshoots and social media campaigns."
"Yes po."
"You don't have any editorial photos."
Fucker. Nasa planning stages pa lang kami nung editorial "fun shoot" na gustong gawin para sa akin ng mga bosses ko. "Yes."
The Creative Director gave me an irritated look as he closed my portfolio shut and sat leaned back on his chair. "You do realize you're auditioning for The House of Andersen, an avant-garde fashion house." He played with the pen in his right hand as his eyes perused me from head to toe. "We need models who can do editorial, not commercial."
I know what he's saying is true and valid, but I have never felt more insulted with the way he's talking to me like I am just a dumb newbie. Well, oo. I guess dumb newbie naman talaga ako when it comes to industry standards.
But who says I can't attempt to do better at an editorial shoot? I haven't done one, but really, does that mean I can't deliver what they want for their brand?
I looked back at the Creative Director and gradually squared my shoulder, ready to fight for my space in the industry. "With all due respect, sir, I believe I can be the model that you are looking for. What I lack in experience, I will make sure to make up for my work ethic. I've been practicing my poses, my facial expressions, my walk and I am being coached by the best trainers from the Tatlonghari Modeling Agency--"
The owner of House of Andersen raised his hand to stop me from talking. The man himself, Mr. Andrew Andersen.
"Darling, we're not playing trial and error here. We make wearable art pieces here in the House of Andersen, not just some fast-fashion garb that can be worn by just... anyone."
He did not just say that. This fucking tool did not just say that.
Huminga ako nang malalim para pakalmahin ang sarili ko. "I understand," I managed to say through a fake smile I didn't know how I mustered. "I completely understand."
Sumabat muli ang epal na Creative Director. "Then why did you come here knowing that you have little to no experience? My God, your portfolio is so inadequate. You're just wasting our time here. Next!"
The main designer snickered. Ano nga ulit pangalan nitong putang inang 'to?
Fuck it. I'm done here. I know they won't give me a chance so I better leave this place leaving a lasting impression. Something they won't forget as they try to blacklist me in the industry. I'm so sure they're going to do that regardless. They just reek of assholeness.
"Because I was led to believe that I would be given a fair chance here, just like any new models. But I guess that's not gonna happen for me, right?" You've already judged me before I could show you what I can do. You've already made up your mind to make a fool out of me.
Jeric stood up from his seat and tried to defuse the situation. "Look, the girl has a point--"
"The girl has a name, and it's Asher Flores," I shot back. He's not my friend and I can fight my own battles.
"Asher has a point," Jeric said, placating me. "Why don't we see how she walks?"
Andrew Andersen sneered. "Wearing my collection?"
Tumawa pa ang Main Designer nila na nasa tabi nito... who's clearly enjoying my humiliation.
And that's what fucking set me off.
Without thinking, I marched up to their table and snatched up my portfolio from the table. I looked down on him and gave him a scathing look, my eyes burning with anger and irritation. They want my feral eyes? They will get what they want, they're getting the absolute power of these eyes.
"I'd rather not," I said to the panel full of assholes and turned my back on them.
Play time's over. I am going home.
"Hey! Where do you think you're going?"
I did not dignify them with an answer as I pushed the doors open and left the room. Tuluy-tuloy lang akong naglakad kahit lahat nang tao ay pinagtitinginan ako. I don't know if they heard what transpired inside and I don't really fucking care at this point.
Gusto ko na lang umuwi!
Putang ina. Tama sila, that was a fucking waste of time. I get it that they are supposed to be the bosses or client, na trabaho nilang piliin ang models na tamang mag represent ng couture house nila. Pero hindi ibig sabihin nun ay may karapatan silang batuhin ako ng mga insulto dahil lang sa isa akong baguhang modelo.
Tama si Yap, this is a cut-throat industry. God, he actually knows what he's talking about, huh?
Tumingin ako sa paligid at napansing nasa isang park na ako. Hindi ko na namalayan dahil sa sobrang galit at pag rage-walk ko ay dito na ako dinala ng mga paa ko. I need to chill.
Umupo ako sa unang bench na nakita ko. Sinusubukang pakalmahin ang paghinga ko at ang galit at kahihiyan na nararamdaman ko. Pumikit na lang ako at sumandal sa bench na inuupuan ko, paulit-ulit lang sa breathing exercises na natutunan ko sa therapist ko.
Shit. Kailangan ko na yatang bumalik sa kanya ulit at mag-session. Siya lang rin naman ang makakausap ko ngayon dahil mukhang mawawala na yata ako ng best friend dahil sa selosang girlfriend niya.
God, I just wish I could talk to him right now but he's being fucking unreliable with the whole best friend role. Isang buwan ko na siyang hindi nakakausap, isang buwan ko nang hinihintay na mag reach-out siya kasi, 'tang ina, pagod na akong palaging lumalapit sa kanya.
I needed him for the last month... but he's nowhere to be found.
Hindi man lang ako tawagan para bigyan ng heads up na hindi muna siya magpaparamdam. Hindi man lang ako i-text, kahit 'yun na lang. A fucking heads up would've been nice.
Ugh. Ginagalit ko na naman ang sarili ko. I was supposed to calm myself!
Enough about him. I just walked out of my first ever go-see, 'yung consequences dapat ang nasa isipan ko. Career ko dapat ang iniisip ko, hindi ang isang lalaki na ayaw magpakita.
Ano na lang ang sasabihin ng mga bosses ko kapag nalaman nila?
Fucking hell, sino bang niloloko ko? I'm pretty sure alam na nila as soon as nakalabas ako ng House of Andersen building. Kailangan kong maipaliwanag nang maayos kina Sir Red at Sir Simon ang nangyari kanina. Baka isipin nila dahil sa kagaspangan ng ugali ko nagsimula ang disaster na ito, hindi sa pang-iinsulto ng mga pesteng 'yun.
***
I was right. Alam na nila bago ko pa sabihin sa kanila.
"Asher, bakit ka naman nag walk-out?" salubong sa akin ni Sir Simon nang makasakay ako sa van. Sa park na ako nagpasundo nang tawagan nila ako kanina.
Huminga ako nang malalim at nagsimulang ipagtanggol ang sarili ko. "Para namang hindi niyo ako kilala, Sir Simon. I am not going to let myself be bullied by those men." Humarap ako sa kanilang lahat nasa backrow ng van. "I was polite and respectful to them. Pero unang pagtapak ko pa lang sa loob ng opisina nila, they have already judged me. Lalo pa noong nakita nila ang portfolio ko, sunud-sunod na 'yung veiled insults nila sa akin."
Napabuntong-hininga nang malakas si Sir Simon. "Nag-aalala ako kung paano ito makakaapekto sa career mo. Nag-uumpisa ka pa lang, Asher."
"Sir, believe me, I know." Walang mas nakakaalam niyan kundi ako. Ako na nakaranas ng pagpapahiya kanina dahil sa pagiging baguhan ko. "Hindi naman po ako pumasok sa office nila na nagmamayabang. Wala naman po akong ipagyayabang, in the first place."
"Did you even smile? Baka masyado mong sinimangutan?"
Did I fucking smile? Is he serious?
Napailing ako sa sinabi ni Sir Simon. "You did not just say that to me... Tsaka teka lang, I thought that's what you wanted from me? 'Yung sinasabi niyong feral eyes?" Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili kong sumagot muli. "But still I smiled! I already told you, I was polite and respectful. But even the receptionist was giving me attitude! Oo, magaspang din naman ang ugali ko pero alam ko kung kailan ko lang dapat ilabas 'yun."
Sir Simon looked away from me as he shakes his head in disappointment. "What are we going to do now? You just walked out of your first go-see. This industry is so small, lalo na dito sa bansa natin. I can already tell this is going to spread like wildfire."
Hindi na ako makasagot sa sinabi ni Sir Simon. Tama naman siya at mas alam niya ang kalakaran sa industriyang ito. I bet pinagsisisihan niyang kinuha niya akong modelo. Nanghihinayang na siguro siya sa mga oras na ginugol at perang ginastos nila sa akin.
I held in a sigh and looked at Sir Red instead. Mukha siyang makakapatay nang tao dahil sa pamumula ng mukha niya at sa pumipintig na ugat sa noo niya. First time kong makita siyang ganito, galit na galit.
I am really fucking screwed.
"Sir Red?" I called out to him, I don't know why... siguro para matapos na lang sa isang bira ang sermon sa akin?
Pumikit siya saglit at huminga nang malalim... and in just a snap, nawala ang lahat ng indikasyon ng galit sa mukha niya. Ang galing! Paano kaya 'yun? Gusto ko matutunan 'yun.
Humarap siya sa akin at tumango. "I believe you, Asher. I know how the House of Andersen operates." "They know I'm going to launch the House of Red this year kaya siguro pinag-initan ka nila. Ken Tomas and Andrew Andersen just insulted our model, Simon... We will show them and the rest of the House of Andersen that they made a big mistake in humiliating Asher. It's the big mistake they will never forget. NEVER."
Hindi ko maiwang mamangha at maging emotional na sinabi ni Sir Red. He believes in me and he's going to fight for me. Iilang tao lang ang kayang ipaglaban ako... at sa kanya pa na bago lang sa buhay ko ako makakarinig ng mga salitang 'yun? 'Tang ina, tagos.
Napalingon ako kay Sir Simon at nakitang nawala na rin ang galit sa mukha niya, instead mukhang naiintriga na ito sa sinasabi ng kanyang partner. "What are you getting at, Red?"
"We pitched her to be the face of ABC Cosmetics... and originally, we also pitched House of Red to her, too." But they scrapped it dahil hindi yata makakaabot sa Philippine Fashion Week ang pagtapos ng collection ni Sir Red.
"Wait," biglang sabat ni Sir Simon. "Are you telling us you're ready to launch House of Red?"
Ngumiti si Sir Simon at tumango. "Yes... and we'll do it at this year's Philippine Fashion Week."
Napanganga kaming lahat na nasa loob ng van, pati ang mga nananahimik sa gilid na mga staff. At tulad namin, hindi rin makapaniwala si Sir Simon sa binabalak nito.
"That's like 6 weeks away! Hindi ka pa tapos sa garments mo, you're not even sure about the concepts you ran by me last week."
"We'll make it work." Sir Red only shrugged his shoulders. "I've made my decision. We're going with the original plan."
Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili kong magtanong. "Which is?"
Ngumiti siya sa akin. "You're going to be the face of House of Red."
Muli akong napanganga. "But, Sir Red–"
He dismissed me with a look so I closed my mouth shut. "My decision is final. The House of Red will have its debut on the Philippine Fashion Week."
Sumabat ang executive secretary nito na si Miss Lyn. "Pero ilang weeks na lang, Sir Red! How are we going to do this?"
"We're going to hustle, HARD."
"Okay, no pressure then," I snorted. I just couldn't help myself.
"Don't worry about us, we can handle this. Just focus on yourself and your mental health," Sir Simon said before addressing his EA. "Cancel all my appointments today. Let's have a group huddle at my house."
"Sir, you have a meeting with JFB by 6 pm. Should I cancel it too?"
"Cancel it and tell his EA I'll call him later."
JFB? Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, 'yun 'yung iba pang partner nina Sir Red at Sir Simon. Siya yata 'yung CEO ng Tatlonghari Modeling Agency... and most probably, distant relative ni Yap kung totoo ngang Ongpauco rin 'yun.
I better get to know him, mahirap na.
***
Nang makarating kami sa bahay–rather, mansion ni Sir Red sa Forbes Park, agad kaming sinalubong ng mga katulong niya at itinuro kung saan magaganap ang meeting ng buong team ng TMA at ng House of Red, except the seamstresses, of course.
Mukhang magtatagal itong meeting na 'to. I better go pee, kanina ko pa pinipigil 'to sa van.
Sa tulong ng isang maid ay nahanap ko ang pinakamalapit na restroom kung saan I finally relieved myself. Nakapag-freshen up na rin ako at ready na ulit sumabak sa matagal na meeting with my bosses.
Napatitig ako sa reflection ko sa salamin at hindi maiwasang maging kritikal sa hitsura ko. I know I'm pretty, hindi naman ako mapupunta sa career na ito kung hindi. Pero hindi ko pa rin maisip kung ano bang nakita nila sa akin para ipaglaban nang ganito?
I mean, Sir Simon was irritated at first but he's still in my corner now, rallying for me. Pati na rin ang buong teams ng TMA at House of Red. I'm sure may isa sa kanila na nagtataka kung bakit ako pinag-aaksayan ng resources nina Sir Simon at Sir Red.
Baka hindi nga lang isa. Baka marami silang nagdududa sa akin at sa abilidad ko lalo na't hindi ako natanggap sa uang audition ko as a model tapos gumawa pa ako ng eksena. Malamang tulad nung pesteng Creative Director ng Andersen, iniisip din nila na nag-aaksaya lang kami ng oras dito.
Malamang nagtatanong rin sila bakit kailangang gawin ang lahat nang ito para sakin? Bakit kailangang isabay ang launching ng House of Red para lang maiganti nila ako sa House of Andersen? Bakit ako? Bakit sa taong hindi naman deserving?
Shit. Ni-hindi nga ako nag-sorry sa kanila kanina.
Napatalon ako sa gulat nang biglang mag-vibrate ang phone ko na nasa back pocket ko.
Agad ko itong kinuha at tinignan kung sino ang nag-message sa akin.
From: Yap
Hey Asher, sorry for being MIA.
Let's hang out soon sa spot natin.
This fucking asshole. After mawala ng halos isang buwan, magpaparamdam lang sa text. Tingin niya ba sa isang casual na sorry lang, okay na ko? He ignored me for a month! He didn't answer my calls or reply to my messages!
Bwisit na 'to! Akala niya ganun-ganon lang?
Sa sobrang inis ko sa kanya ay nireplyan ko lang siya ng middle-finger emoji.
Matapos noon ay lumabas na ako ng restroom at hinanap ang daan pabalik ng living room. Pero hindi ako sa living room napunta, I ended up in the kitchen instead.
Nandito rin sina Sir Simon at Sir Red at mukhang nagsu-supervise sila sa pag-aayos ng mga helpers sa food and drinks namin sa magaganap na meeting. Kinuha ko na ang opportunity na kausapin silang dalawa habang walang ibang tao na galing sa team namin na makakarinig.
"Uh, pwede ko po ba kayong makausap saglit?"
"Oo naman, Asher. What's up?" tanong ni Sir Simon matapos ubusin ang kinakain na sandwich nito, akala mo ay hindi inis na inis sa akin kanina.
"Gusto ko lang pong mag-sorry sa hassle na dinulot ko sa team dahil sa first go-see ko."
"Apology accepted," sabi ni Sir Simon matapos akong tapikin sa ulo na parang bata.
Humarap ako kay Sir Red at sinabi na rin ang kanina pa bumabagabag sa akin noong nahimasmasan na ako matapos ng pag-uusap sa van kanina.
"Sir Red, with all due respect, I think this is a bit too much. You don't need really to avenge me. You don't need to fight for my honor. I also think I needed this, I needed to get humbled."
Tinitigan ako nito. "Why do you think so?"
I shrugged. "I need to be reminded that I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Not everyone's going to like me."
"You really think that?"
Tumango ako. "Yes, and I knew that all along. Nakalimutan ko lang. Ang tagal ko ring nawala sa spotlight."
Noong naglalaro pa ako ng tennis, mas mabait pa ako nun. Pero marami pa rin sa loob ng team na may ayaw pala sa akin. Meron pa lang nasusungitan sa akin. Meron pa lang nainggit to the point na sinasabotahe ako at mga gear ko. Meron pa ngang unsolved mystery e, hindi ko pa rin alam kung dahil ba sa inggit or sadyang napag-tripan lang ako noong may tumulak sa akin sa hagdanan the night before my game. One thing's for sure, though. Whoever pushed off the stairs really hated or disliked me.
It was a rude awakening for me, an eye-opening fact that I learned the hard way.
Not everyone's going to like you even if you do your absolute best all the fucking time. Even if you're the most hardworking person, or just simply the best player in the league.
Hindi ko alam kung anong nakita ni Sir Red sa mukha ko pero ngumiti ito sa akin at nag-pat rin sa ulo ko. They are respecting my boundaries pa rin when it comes to unsolicited touches, which just shows what kind of men they are.
"You're absolutely right, kid. But that doesn't mean we won't do anything about what happened to you earlier."
Nagsalita rin si Sir Simon. "Red is right and I'm sorry for blowing up like that, Asher. You entrusted your career to us. Nag-uumpisa ka pa lang tapos papabayaan ka namin? No. That's not how TMA works. Hinding-hindi kami makakapayag na makakalusot sila sa pagpapahiya nila sa'yo sa first go-see mo."
Hindi ko mapigilan ang ngiti ko pero pinilit ko pa ring itago. "But isn't this a little too excessive?"
Siniko ako ni Sir Red. "I told you, don't worry about it."
Natawa ako sa kanila. "Stop acting like a fairy godboss, Sir Red."
Ngumisi ito matapos akong abutan din ng isang plate na may lamang clubhouse sandwich. "Is that what I am now?"
Tumango ako. "Opo, kayo ni Sir Simon."
"You should be glad, then," natatawang sabi lang si Sir Simon habang inaabutan din ako nito ng baso na may lamang orange juice. "You're in the right hands, kid."
~~~***~~~
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