I woke up and carried her back to her bed the next morning which was the usual.One of us would wake up and go back to our separate room or the other would wake us up and remind us to go back to our room before someone saw.She woke up when I put her in bed and gave a sleepy hum before going back to sleep.
I heard her cough a little but figured it was nothing.I crawled back in bed and started coughing too but didn't pay it any mind.I was almost asleep when I heard Steve come in my room.He looked pale and sickly so I knew something was up.
"Hey James so we have a small problem.It seems all of us caught the flu while on the mission and you might have it too.Have the symptoms kicked in yet or no?Either way just stay quarantined in your room for the next week or two."I looked at him with a sleepy glossed over expression then spoke."Are you kidding me Steven we caught the flu?So far I just feel extra tired and have a small cough.I'll stay in here for the next few weeks just know that I blame you for dragging me along on the mission.I told you I wanted to stay but you made me go.I didn't want to go outside and get sick but you wouldn't listen and now look where that got us.I'm gonna pay you back big time for this when I feel better."He said nothing else and just left the room.
I silently walked over to Brittany's room to tell her the bad news.She was still asleep so I gently nudged her awake. "Hey doll so I just found out that we all caught the flu during the mission and have to be quarantined to our room for 1-2 weeks till the bug passes.I might have given it to you last night when I cuddled you without knowing it so I apologize for that.I told the others I didn't want to go so I didn't get sick but they didn't listen and now we're all stuck with the flu."
She sat up then said "It's alright it's not your fault. They should learn to listen instead of always talking.If they had,then you and me wouldn't be sick with the flu right now.They should be more like you and learn a balance between listening and talking."She laid back down and played with my hair a bit before going back to sleep.I rubbed her back a bit then went back to my room without detection.
I went back to sleep for a few more hours then I got hit with the full impact of the flu once I woke up.I felt achy and sore all over and my head felt like it was hit with a jackhammer.My throat was so sore I could barely speak and if I did it was in a raspy cracked voice.My coughing had gotten worse and it made my chest hurt. My nose was blocked and runny and I was freezing and visibly shaking.It hurt to move because I was in unimaginable pain from head to toe.I let out a groan of pain then started feeling lightheaded and dizzy.
I moaned as I walked over to the bathroom to blow my nose.I heard something get dropped off at my door so I slowly shuffled over to it and opened the door.There was a basket full of items and a card attached to it that said this was a "sick basket" with all the items I would need to feel better.I mumbled a small thanks then shuffled back to bed.I couldn't get comfortable in bed because of the pain in my body so I settled for a warm bubble bath to relax my achy muscles.I felt better afterwards and tried to nap to feel better.
I couldn't sleep so I took the elevator down to the kitchen to make some soup.I grabbed some crackers and Gatorade too while I was at it and put it on a tray.I made some for Brittany too and took it up to her room.I hopped in bed and tried to eat but I had no appetite but forced myself to eat anyway.She collected her tray and said a small thanks before closing her door.
My phone went off next to me so I answered it and heard her voice.She sounded just as bad as I did if not worse.We thanked each other for the soup and basket then hung up and pulled out our tablets so we could Skype and watch movies together.She was still invisible but turned the camera around so I could see her tv which had Casablanca playing on it.It was our shared favorite 40's movie to watch together. We watched in silence aside from coughing and sneezing or an occasional moan and groan of pain.There was also a lot of nose blowing and bathroom breaks throughout the movie.We ended the Skype and fell asleep after the movie.
We spent the next two weeks watching movies over Skype,resting up,talking and finding common interests we didn't know we had.We felt better after two weeks and pretty soon so did everyone else.Things got back to normal and we went back to hanging out together again in secrecy.
Weeks had passed since the flu took over us all and me and Brittany made it a regular thing to start and finish the day cuddling.We got Steve back by gluing him to his desk in the meeting room.He was mad at me at first then he laughed about it as he realized this was his payback for getting me sick.
One day while the others were on a mission and me and Brittany were alone at the Compound,she told me something that I never expected her to and she even gave me an extra little surprise.We were cuddling in my room when it happened.
"James I have something to tell you.It's about my past and I've never told anyone else about it.I trust you enough to tell you this because I know you'll never tell anyone and you'll keep my secret safe.You might look at me differently but it will explain why I act the way I do and my trust issues."
"You can tell me anything doll just know I'm always here for you.No matter what you say I will never look at you differently or tell your secret."
"I was born a normal child with a normal family.It was me,mom,and dad my whole life and things were good until I was 4.I was having a birthday party at the park with my family and friends because I used to be so full of life and joy.I blew the candles out on the cake then out of nowhere it blew up.I was blown into a tree a few feet away and my mom and dad were blown across the park too.A few of my family members and my friends and their families died because of the explosion and a few of them survived.Those of us that survived were in the hospital for a few weeks then went to the funerals of those who died.
It took almost two years to get over what had happened but things at home started going down hill.Mom and dad argued a lot more then they started sleeping in different rooms.They would have huge screaming matches and start breaking things and beating on each other. They tried to keep me away from it but that didn't work.My dad became so frustrated that he started molesting me when my mom wasn't around.He threatened to kill me and mom in our sleep if I told her so I kept quiet.He did this for months then started molesting other kids too and threatening them as well.I got it the worst since I was his child.One day mom walked in on him hurting me and got so mad she beat him senseless.She had him arrested and divorced him as well.Me and the other kids testified against him and put him away for life then me and mom moved away and started a new life.
She remarried two years later to a guy who seemed nice enough but it was all just a front. He started to show his true colors once he married my mom.He would get drunk and high all the time then beat on my mom and me.It was just at night first then it happened during the day too.It got worse and worse until they divorced a few months later.We moved to a new location and changed our names and identities but he always found us no matter where we went.One day when I was ten I heard shouting so I went to see what it was.He had found us again and as I walked in I saw him shoot my mother once in the heart and once in her head.
He turned and saw me after I screamed for her then pointed his gun at me and shot at me.The bullets missed so I took off running out the back door to our neighbors house.They let me in and I told them my stepdad killed my mother and was trying to kill me too so they called the cops then beat him up and restrained him.The cops came and arrested him then placed me in social services.The other kids didn't like me so they beat up on me really bad so I couldn't be adopted.They would crack my bones and give me black eyes and bruises.They stepped on my hands and feet and took my food so I was starving.They took my bed so I slept on the floor and they also gave me massive wedgies and swirlies.
They gave me bloody noses and busted lips and concussions.They burned me with acid and the hot stove.They would strip me naked then tie me by my ankles and beat me until I passed out.I told my social worker and the people running the group homes but they said I a lying snake.They beat and abused me too and they were a lot worse than the kids.They had me doing physical labor like scrubbing the floors and rooms and they made me their personal servant.They would be mean to me all day and night and it never stopped.
I testified against my stepdad about the abuse and harassing to me and my mom.I also testified to the abuse from the other kids and the group home owners and my social worker. Everybody who had hurt me was put away.The kids were in Juvie and the adults plus my stepdad were in prison for life.I didn't know it at the time but my dad and stepdad were friends and were in the same prison.They plotted to have my stepdad marry,abuse,and kill my mom.He was also supposed to abuse and kill me but that didn't work.
When they met back up in prison they had their friends in higher places kidnap me and experiment on me.They told them to torture me and if necessary kill me.Their friends were Brock Rumlow and Alexander Pierce who work for Hydra where you were kept.Rumlow and Pierce did as they were told and kept me for months.They tortured me and put powers in me.They beat me and trained me then put the serum inside me and brainwashed me with trigger words and electricity to keep me compliant.
I tried to run away or defy them but that only made things worse for me.One day they dumped me in an ally and left me for dead. They said I was an ugly,stupid,worthless, disgusting little girl who no one could ever love or want.They left then I took off running around the city until I was hopelessly lost trying to find a safe place to hide.I learned not to trust anyone ever again and put up barriers to protect myself.I kept running until I accidentally bumped into Steve and Tony.They tried to help me but I thought they would hurt me so I freaked out and somehow lit on fire and passed out from fear.
When I woke up I was strapped on a bed so I panicked even more.They managed to calm me down but I wouldn't talk to them.They ran tests on me and tried to help me but I lost control of my powers when I panicked.They said I needed to stay with them for a few weeks so they could figure out what to do with me and how to help me.I did as they said and stayed but I was resistant and closed off to them.
They showed me how to use my powers and they tried their best to be patient with me but I kept pushing them away.I stayed in my room and stayed away from them simply out of fear of being hurt and abused again.They learned to stay away from me even though I never talked to them.I was cold and distant with them and protected myself using my magic and my escape from reality panic room in my mind.
That night you found me staring at the wall I was in my panic room but for some reason your voice brought me out.That had never happened before but at that moment I realized you might be someone I could trust but I had to test you to be sure.I let you watch me from a distance in silence to see what you would do. You just respected my privacy and let me be so I knew I could trust you.The others would ask me to come out of my room or constantly pester me to make sure I was alive but not you.
You know what it's like to feel alone and out of place so you knew how to handle me.I learned from an early age to never trust people because all they are capable of is hurting me and torturing me for their own pleasure and benefit.I spent so long being alone and trapped in my own head but you saved me from that and you showed me that not all people are bad. You showed me that some people like you are genuinely good hearted and kind and amazing.
I never knew what a good person was like until I met you.I spent so long being afraid of people but you showed me how to believe in them again.I am so thankful to you for that.I owe you more than you could ever know.Thank you James Buchanan Barnes for showing me the world in a new perspective light.Thank you so much.My dad and stepdad try to call me from prison and get in contact with me but I continually ignore them.I send them to voicemail,block their numbers,change my number but they just won't stop to the point where I'm genuinely paranoid and always looking over my shoulder.My full name is Brittany Alexis Moore."
She turned visible for the first time since I'd known her then held my hands and closed her eyes.I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was somewhere new I didn't recognize.The room was monotone white and there was a swirling storm in the center.Brittany was nowhere to be found so I called for her but she didn't answer.I heard multiple different versions of her voice but couldn't actually see her.The voices were angry and mocking and seemed to be targeting a specific person in the center of the storm.I listened to the voices as I walked closer to the storm.
"It's all your fault everything bad happens because of you.You are worthless,stupid,ugly, alone.No one will ever love you or want you. Your a burden to everyone and wreck everything you touch.Your mother never loved you so she let your dad molest you and your stepdad beat you because she hates you.Just give up and kill yourself already cause no one would miss you if you died.You just suck life out of people and will always be afraid like the scared little girl you are.Who cares about you anyway the answer is no one.Your a pathetic excuse of a human being.James doesn't really care for you he's just pretending to out of pity. He hates you with all his being and will turn back into the Winter Soldier and kill you the moment he gets a chance.He's building up your trust so he can take it all away.He doesn't want you around cause your nothing but a problem."
The voices said many other harsh things and soon started to sound like people from her past.Her family,Rumlow,Pierce,even me but the voice that was loudest and clearest of all was hers.I walked through the center of the storm and found her sitting alone and crying. She was screaming and holding her head as she listened to the voices and made a knife appear next to her.
"It's true it's all true I am an evil,foul, disgusting,worthless,ugly,nobody who is better off dead than alive."She took the knife and cut her wrists as she screamed and cried in pain.I ran to her side and tried to talk sense into her but her eyes were just as dead and far away as the first time.I threw the knife away from her then held her close and rocked her.
"Oh doll I had no idea your panic room was this horrible.You take all your pain and guilt and turn it into voices of people who hurt you or care for you and torture yourself to no end. Listen to me ok nothing that has happened to you has been your fault nor will it ever be.Just because it happened to you doesn't mean it's your fault.You can't torture yourself like this because it will eat away at you and kill you. I get now why you had to protect yourself behind barriers and being invisible but this is not protecting yourself this is just blaming all your pain on yourself and causing unnecessary guilt. Look at me I have got you and you never have to come here ever again cause you'll always be safe with me.Drown the voices out and focus on me not them.They will hurt you I will help you you just have to concentrate."
"I can't their too strong and loud and I'm just too weak and pathetic I can't do it there's no way just leave me to suffer in pain because I deserve this.All the guilt all the nightmares I deserve that because that's just what I need to make sure I never forget all the trauma and grief I've caused in my life."
Suddenly the events started to play in clear picture all around us in nonstop motion.Her while life played out in front of us from the day she was born all the way to this very moment in her mind.The fear and guilt and pain and torture and suffering and abuse playing over and over in a constant loop.She closes herself off from society then gets caught in this vicious cycle of torture and guilt.
"Yes you can do this you are the strongest and most powerful person I know you just have to fight.Stop this cycle and fight to take back control of your life.The voices in your head don't control your life you do.You just gotta believe you can stop this and you will.I believe in you and I know you can do this you just gotta try.Fight for yourself and fight for me so we can get out of here."
Suddenly she had a dangerous dark look in her eyes as an energy field formed around us.It slowly expanded until it was so big it burst through the storm and made it disappear for good.The voices stopped and the energy field disappeared.Her eyes returned to normal as we were surrounded by peaceful silence.We opened our eyes and we were back in my room. She held on to my waist tightly and buried her face in my chest as she cried.
Now that I know what is going on with her I see why she acts the way she does.I can't believe she's been dealing with this much trauma and guilt basically all her life.All I could do was sit there and rock her and sing in Romanian to calm her down.She cried for two hours which I didn't mind because I just got to hold her and comfort her.She is a broken and fragile little girl who hates herself and believes she is the sole cause of people's problems but she's not she just doesn't see it.
"You never have to feel that way again cause now you have me to be there with you no matter what.I will always be here for you until the bitter end and that's a promise I intend to keep.Nothing and no one will ever tear us apart.You can always come to me for anything or any reason cause I always have time for you. I know exactly how this feels from personal experience as the Winter Soldier and I wish none of that bad stuff had ever happened to you.You don't deserve to be tortured by all this guilt because it's not your fault.I don't care how many times I have to say it to get you to believe it because we're stuck with each other forever so I'll keep saying it till the days we die if I have to.No one is perfect and we all have our trauma in one way or another but that doesn't mean you should let it consume you or eat away at you because that doesn't do you any good.I would go crazy if you died so don't you ever kill yourself or cut your wrists do you understand. Now after you finish crying I'm gonna treat you to a nice long day of cuddles,movies,junk food, pampering,relaxing and pjs.We can have a full on lazy day cause the others won't be back for two more weeks anyhow."
She stopped crying then looked up at me with those big beautiful brown eyes behind those glasses.Her curly black hair was in her face so I tucked it behind her ears.They were pointy like elf ears and I could tell she was embarrassed by them as she covered them up with her hair and looked down in shame.Her cheeks were bright pink and she called them hideous and said they make her look like a freak which only made her uglier considering she was born with them shaped like that.
I assured her she was the most beautiful girl in the world then wrapped her in a nice long hug. I told her that her ears were adorable and unique and I liked them a lot.She looked up at me as I caressed her face and wiped the free falling tears with my metal thumb.She held my metal hand in hers as she climbed into my lap then kissed me.Her lips were soft and tender as they touched mine.I knew I should pull away cause she's only 12 but I kissed her back anyways.She pulled away after a few seconds then gave me a look of pure delight as she kissed me again.
This kiss lasted much longer and was more romantic.She broke the kiss again and smiled at me.Her smile was bright enough to light the whole world and was so beautiful it made my heart melt.(No smut I promise because that would be wrong since she's still a minor just innocent kissing between friends that might be a teensy bit passionate and nothing more you dirty minders.)
"James thank you for everything you have shown me and done for me I am forever grateful."
"Doll you don't have to thank me for anything at all I'm just glad I got to know you."I kissed her again but with more passion.My tongue grazed her bottom lip so she opened her mouth and let me explore it as I did the same for her. We kissed for a long time then finally broke it and hugged for a long time.After the hug I flipped her so she was laying on her backside with her legs around my waist and I was on top of her.
"Is there something you want Sergeant Barnes?"
"Oh Sergeant Barnes now is it huh?I like that and I think you should call me that more often doll face.I could get used to it honestly but only you can call me that.I would like another kiss though since your asking."
"If calling you Sergeant Barnes gets this much excitement and arousal out of you I think I will call you that more often Sergeant Barnes."
"Oh doll face you are the most wonderful girl in the world."
I tongue kissed her deeper and with the most passion I ever have which earned a happy moan from both of us.We held the kiss for a solid 6-10 minutes then started our lazy day. We spent the whole day doing whatever we wanted and she even showed me her powers which were awesome.I even got her to wash my hair and give me a back rub which felt heavenly.I made her some of my chocolate chip pancakes and gave her a foot rub which caused her to giggle a lot because she's ticklish.
We ended up having a full on pillow fight which she won and she wore some of my clothes again because she looked irresistible in them.They looked better on her than in me even though they were kinda baggy.We acted like kids the whole day and just enjoyed ourselves for the first time in a really long time without the guilt or trauma on our minds.We ended the night ordering pizza and watching movies which lead to us falling asleep while cuddling.