Ronan decided that Kiril had to appear all dirty, bruises and scratched as he was in front of the king to give him an idea of what the poor soldier has been through.
Alyssa suggested an unused passage to avoid making it a show, and before entering the hall, Ronan added some stones into Kiril's boots to remind him to limp like his body was still aching. He grabbed his arm to hold him up.
Alyssa shot one last glance at the captain's look.
He looked already much better than how he was when they found him on the camp. But surely everyone could agree that he was victim of an injustice.
Alyssa watched the two men making slowly their way to meet the king, while she walked close to the wall to join the princess.
She spotted Hector on the other side of the room, controlled by two guards.
"See, your Majesty? He's still alive" he commented with his usual insolence "Our swordmaster only made a drama".
"He was more damaged than this" Ronan spat back "Our healers did their best. Hector almost killed him".
"Thirteen against one, right?" King Melech said peering at Kiril after a moment of silence "If we have more soldiers like you instead of deserters, we would have won this war by now".
Alyssa smirked as Kiril bowed with gratitude.
"Take all the time you need to recover. If any damage won't heal, my guards are instructed to inflict the same damage on Hector. Let's say, one broken leg for one broken leg".
Alyssa enjoyed seeing how Hector turned from red to white. She almost regretted making Lara fix Kiril's worst wounds, when she could have watched Hector getting them all.
"But Sir, you need every leg. I'll make amend...".
The King silenced him with a finger "Yes, by staying away from any training camp and the war room until I'll decide otherwise. Now get out of here and make yourself useful, instead of creating problems that Ravka doesn't need".
At the dismissive gesture from the King, the guards dragged Hector away.
Ronan thanked the King's justice, then accompanied Kiril away, getting an applause of sympathy from the witnesses standing in the hall.
"You look so distraught" Meira commented, wrapping her arms around her to comfort her.
"I am happy now that justice has been made" Alyssa said hugging the princess back.
She didn't want to stay away from Kiril for too long, so she quickly dismissed herself and walked to his room, finding him sitting on his bed while Ronan was freeing him from his boots.
Servants already brought a tub and filled it with warm water. Fire was burning in the hearth, next to a good stock of wood to feed it.
"Actually we can still force Hector to keep stones in his boots too" Ronan joked while she hugged the captain.
"He deserves worse. I'd punch and kick him myself".
"Don't ruin your hands and your feet for me, please" Aleksander said sweetly, kissing her hands.
Ronan cleared his throat looking away from thag intimate gesture and quickly dismissed himself.
"Can we now move to the phase where you take care of my lower body?" Kiril teased, when she couldn't stifle a laugh after the swordsman disappeared.
It was her turn to feel embarassed "Do you think I can handle it?".
"You're stronger than me" he said confidently.
She moved to the tub and checked the water "How can you turn something bad into a triumph?".
He chuckled "I didn't do anything".
She peered at him with an intense look "You didn't surrender, you didn't scream for help. Just like the King said, if more soldiers are like you, we have a chance to win. You are so special".
She walked to him again, confused by contrast of the weight of her words and how he looked so vulnerable and fragile, sitting in front of her.
"All I hope for is to be special for you" he said simply, taking her hands "So I can deserve a chance to be with you".
She wished to tell him to shut up. His words, his voice, his eyes, everything made her legs tremble.
She hugged him, losing her balance as he pulled her down on him.
His laugh affected her, although the position was so arousing.
He didn't seem to mind her weight, yet she moved to lay on her side, resting her head on his arm.
His hand grabbed hers and pressed it on his chest.
She held her breath, surprised to feel his heart beating strongly as hers.
"You don't mind if I'm dirty and so bad smelling?" he whispered "Take a bath with me".
The offer sounded more like a command. She winced at the lustful fantasy that he evoked.
"Not that triumphant" she warned standing up before he got other crazy ideas "You take a bath".
"And you wash me?" he moved up in swift, sexy movements "You do need to remove my pants first".
Her cheeks were burning as her eyes happened to fall down his body.
"Saints, I call Lara" she surrendered, needing help before the situation could fall out of control.
"Alright, sorry" he said quickly, standing up and moving to the tube "I can remove them myself. I don't want anyone here, except you".
She turned her back at him before she could watch him undressing "Warn me when you're into the water".
"You can watch. I don't mind" he said carelessly "I'm better when I'm not so bruised".
She closed her eyes, cursing at his annoying teasing "Just go into the water or I'll call someone else to do the job".
She heard water splashing, then he said quietly "I didn't mean to make you upset. I'll be a good boy now".
Carefully, she turned and saw him into the tub. Fighting the awkwardness, she moved to kneel next to him and took the soap.
Saints, she never washed a man. Not a man that she desired so badly.
"Go on. I won't bite" he encouraged her, seeing how hesitant she was to touch him.
He was fully naked. No matter if the water was already dirty with dust and his blood, her mind was dizzy.
He grabbed her hand and guided it to his neck, hissing at the pleasant feeling.
"It was worthy to get so close to death, just to live this moment with you".
"Don't say it" she begged. If he meant to sound romantic, that was so creepy "You don't need to prove anything. Not to me".
He placed his wet hand on her cheek.
She shivered at his fresh touch, but she felt home.
"Thank you for everything you're doing for me. I'm forever your debitor" he whispered "You can ask me to do anything for you".
How could he make every fiber in her body sing with pleasure?
How would it feel to fully give herself to him?
Alyssa lowered her head and grabbed his hand, kissing it.
"Just recover and take care of yourself. I hate seeing you swollen and bruised".
"Stick around and you'll make me healthy and gorgeous again".
She rolled her eyes at his grin and focused on her task. Luckily he stopped talking and teasing.
Silently, they enjoyed that little intimate moment.
When she couldn't bear it anymore, he understood and finished cleaning himself.
She turned again when he grabbed the towel and emerged from the water, wrapping quickly the cloth around his waist.
"Good boy. You earned your meal" she said smirking and moved a tray of food to his bed.
"I thought you wanted to enjoy also dressing me up" he teased, but at her scowl he hurried to put on clean clothes while her eyes lingered on his few belongings in that small room.
He dropped himself on the bed, almost making the tray fall from it.
"I'm not going to feed you" she warned him, eyeing him with the fear that he was actually exhausted and needed to rest.
"I'm not hungry of food. Only hungry of you" he said winking at her.
She rolled her eyes, trying to ignore how her blood was boiling with the need of him. He was alright. It was all that mattered.
She didn't need to offer extra comfort to make him feel loved.
She was about to reply to him, when someone knocked loudly on the door.
Kiril snorted and turned, hiding his face on the pillow.
Alyssa went to open the door, coming face to face with two women.
Lara carried trays of fresher food while Roslyn wore a mocking grin as her eyes peered into the room.
"So it's true that someone managed to damage your pretty face".
Kiril just snorted, curling on the bed. It was clear that he didn't want visitors.
Roslyn looked at her with a sweeter expression"Alyssa, my dear, Meira sent me to replace you for a while, knowing that you are capable to exile yourself into this small, bad smelling room. Go and take care of yourself too, have dinner with her".
The idea of leaving Kiril was sorrowful.
"I'm alright. You know how I enjoy to be helpful. I guess you don't want to stay here".
Roslyn told her how she couldn't stand the captain and Alyssa had to listen to her constant complaining about his irreverent tongue.
Roslyn scoffed "I don't want to be anywhere with him".
"So I don't need to worry that if I leave you and him alone, I might find you involved in certain activity" Alyssa teased, hearing a noise of disapproval also from Kiril, who had sat up.
"He might be enjoyable only if he's gagged. I wish I can cut his tongue myself" Roslyn raised her head with pride.
"Why don't you try, milady?" Kiril teased simpering.
She rolled her eyes, leaning towards Alyssa "He's obnoxious. How can you bear his presence?".
"I don't think it's a good idea to let you stay here" Alyssa confessed.
Roslyn pulled out a book "I brought this to entertain myself. But he sleeps. Or I'll kick him unconscious".
"You don't like reading" Alyssa recalled.
"Compared to be a babysitter, I love reading" Roslyn hugged the book "But I'm glad to follow any order from Meira, just like I would do anything to help you".
Alyssa hesitated and turned to check Kiril's reaction. She wanted it to be his decision too.
"I'll be alright" he promised with a comforting smil "I'll try to sleep".
Roslyn waved at Lara to place the trays into the room, then dragged a chair far from the bed.
"I'll be back later" Alyssa said before closing the door and shooting at Lara a perplexed look.
She was glad to see a couple of trusted guards standing by his door.
But each step away from him felt so heavy.
"You need some rest" Lara said gently "I can make you some sleeping drink, if you wish".
"I'm tired enough to sleep on my own, thanks" Alyssa said gratefully "And I owe you a favor, for helping Kiril with your power".
Lara chuckled "That was the least".
"Did it hurt you? Using so much power in these days?" Alyssa asked softly, surprised to see her smile widening.
"No, on the contrary. I feel very satisfied to be helpful".
"But you need to rest too. I'm sorry that Kiril is so diffident".
"I've dealt with worse, you know" Lara shot an eloquent glance "He's the kindest, although he can't bear my presence yet".
"He's a good man. He acts so playful with me, but is scared of being seen with another woman" saying it aloud made her laugh nervously.
"He cares for you. He doesn't want to make you upset" Lara placed a hand on her shoulder, offering a smile of sympathy, then left her walk into the dining room alone.
As she expected, the dinner wasn't enjoyable.
Meira wanted to know every detail about what happened and then felt upset by it.
Alyssa stood with her until the princess finally was drowsy.
She was impatient to go back to Kiril.
Somehow she tried to keep her steps soundless as she marched quickly back to Kiril's room.
She stopped by the door to eavesdrop, but she heard nothing.
Please, don't tell me they killed each other.
Hearing nothing coming from inside, she opened the door carefully and peaked inside.
Only Kiril was lying on the bed, while Roslyn was sitting far from him, with the book opened on her lap.
She jumped with a big sigh of relief, seeing that her ordeal was over and walked to squeeze her hands.
"Is he asleep?" Alyssa asked softly.
"He pretended to be for most of the time" Roslyn snorted "I've been reading some pages aloud, until he lost patience and kept his back at me".
"Did he eat something?" Alyssa inquired.
"Yes. He ate on his own, chewing like a pig in front of me".
A chuckle escaped Alyssa's lips "To make you hungry?".
"To make me retch!" Roslyn exclaimed with exasperation "I'll go to enjoy a proper meal with decent people. Call on me if you need me".
Alyssa hugged her friend "Thank you so much, Ross".
"Anytime" Roslyn added a bow as she dismissed herself and bid goodnight.
"Is she gone?".
Kiril turned on the bed only when the door was closed.
Alyssa smirked at how childish he was acting "Yes. Why do you like to be rude to her?".
She walked to sit by his side as he sat up.
"Because she's not you" he said simply.
"Are you afraid that I might be jealous if you act kindly to any other woman?".
He nodded "Terrified".
He pulled her closer making her fear that he might try to lay her down on that bed again.
"I will never hurt you the way that saintsforsaken colonel does" he whispered "For me there's only you. I can only see you. Anyone else belongs to a crowd of shadows".
She smiled, uneasy. Everyone knew how her imposed husband was libertine.
"Thank you. Do you want me to read anything to make you sleep for real?".
"I don't want to sleep. I want to watch you" his hand trying to pull her dress, but she slapped it.
"You need to recover. Then you can try to stare me until your eyes burn".
"To recover I need you" he said stubbornly.
"I'm not staying here at this late hour to entertain you with your weird fantasies" she warned, but even her shaking voice betrayed her.
"So you want me to tell you about those fantasies?" he laid on his elbow. The view was so appealing that she needed to look away.
"No, I want you to sleep like a good baby" she hissed.
"I'm not a baby" he cut off, then used that tone to which it was hard to say no "Can you just lay here next to me, until I fall asleep? I won't be inappropriate, I swear".
She scoffed at his openly inappropriate request "It's like you can't sleep without a doll to hug".
Finding it all so awkward, she laid next to him anyway, then turned her back at him when he moved closer.
He wrapped an arm around her "Is this okay?".
She just nodded.
Was it so forbidden? To simply lay next to the man she loved?
They didn't need to do anything else. She felt happy, complete.
She asked him to say something and he told about some of his travels and the battles he faced.
His soothing voice made he almost fall asleep. But she wanted to stay awake, to hear anything he said, to keep feeling his body gently pressed against hers.
Eventually the pillow talk made him fall asleep.
Alyssa fought the wish to just sleep as well in his embrace, fearing that in an unconscious state she could just turn on the bed and give in to her lust. A sin.
Delicately, she freed herself from his embrace and turned to watch him in the dim light of the only candle she left lit.
The bruises were still there, yet he still looked so gorgeous.
She laid her head down, feeling his soft breath caressing her.
He smelled of fresh wood. She remembered when he mentioned winters at his village, sitting by a fire fed with wood that he chopped. She wished for that semplicity, a life together and evenings by the fire, maybe surrounded by their children...
But it was an impossible dream.
Ravka needed her.
The thought made her dizzy, so she sat up, fighting the tears that menaced her eyes again.
She hated duties, but she needed to remember that every choice had to be made for Ravka.
She turned and distracted herself with the peaceful view of that sleeping man, until suddenly she felt him so tensed like he was having a nightmare.
He woke up rigidly.
"It's alright. It's just me" she comforted him, brushing her hand to comb his soft hair.
"I'm sorry" he mumbled retreating from her.
She stood up "Why? You need some rest. Just relax and sleep".
"No. I can't fall asleep when you're around. I don't want to miss a second of you".
His stubbornness made her grin "I'll be still here when you'll wake up. You won't miss anything. I'll just stay here and admire you while you sleep".
And she would caress his body, studying every detail of it, without him being aware and ready to tease her.
A selfish, yet not so impossible dream.
"I want to stare at you too" he said like a child, then noticed the darkness and the only candle on the desk "It's night. You need to sleep too".
She almost hoped that he would open his arms again and invite her to lay down with him. But he didn't do that.
It's like he raised a wall between them.
He had again that diffidence and shyness that didn't belong to the Kiril she had met in their first days, when he acted like all he wanted was to pin her down on his bed and make her his.
Probably he was still too broken to want her as he was used to. Or he feared she could judge him for his bad nightmares.
"Fine" she said, deciding that it was time to leave him alone "Then I leave some trusted guards by your door. Keep it locked until tomorrow morning. I'll send the Bishop to call you for breakfast. Agreed?".
He nodded "Thank you, Alyssa. Stay safe too. I owe you my life".
She scoffed "You saved me too. We are even".
"We saved each other when the killer attacked" he recalled.
"That wasn't the only time" she said with a tight smile, leaving him with that little allusion.
Alyssa walked away carrying her dark memories with her.
She recalled the rainy day when she met him for the first time. Downtown, in a tavern.
The weather was reflecting her mood, although she faked a smile to keep people seeing her tranquil. Meira had accompanied her to watch the gambling in the back room, unaware of Alyssa's plans.
All she wanted was to run. To escape her golden cage and taste some freedom. To leave her life of comforts filled with lies and survive on her own.
She had heard that some merchants arrived and their ships were by the shore.
She dreamed of sneaking on one of those ships and sail away, breathing deeply the salty water of the True Sea, that was like a balm to her, that reminded her of her true home.
Some strangers were clearly merchants. She recognized the Kerch accent. She was ready to find an excuse to talk to them and gain all the information she needed, when her eyes happened to catch on a mirror the dump reflection of a young man sitting alone on the farthest table from the counter.
His loneliness mirroring her own.
In that moment Alyssa forgot her plans and found an excuse to talk to that mysterious man.
He welcomed her with a stern glare, like hating to be disturbed. But luckily it vanished in a blank expression.
She had stared at him while he tasted the watered wine she offered him, feeling lost in the beauty that transpired from his poor look of a simple soldier.
She had no idea of how much that encounter changed her.
Instead of going to talk to the merchants and sailors, she was impatient to run back to the palace and help that stranger to feel welcomed.
The way Kiril looked at her made her feel grateful that nature offered her some beauty. It would have been unbearable if she wasn't able to be noticed by him, like the many women who soon started to seek his attention but were ignored by him.
His voice was neutral, but it sounded so good that she could listen to it all day, no matter if sweet or angry.
He already started to flatter and flirt with her, and she just wanted to give in.
When he had handed him the glass, his hand touched hers and she didn't realize that she just handed him her heart. One touch and he had made her his.
And he was all she needed.
He was hope.
Alyssa breathed slowly, trying to calm her fastbeating heart.
She would do anything for him. Her fingers trembled with the need to grab her dagger and cut Hector's troat.
Her hatred for him had just reached its apex.
Maybe if Lara was allowed to join him to the war front, she could protect him.
She didn't need to protect all her soldiers.
Just him.
Alyssa like the idea and was looking forward to talk about it with her friend.
Early in the morning she entered the chapel and lit some candles.
"One for Rostov. And a new one for the captain, I suppose?".
The Bishop emerged from the darkness with his hands joined.
She nodded.
The old man was one of the few people she trusted with her life.
She remembered their first meeting, when years earlier she had seeked him to discuss on urgent matters.
She had begged him not to tell anyone about her intentions, and somehow he kept his promise, although he had tried to persuade her in any way to desist.
He still believed he had succedded if she was still alive.
She stared at the flame and spoke her heart "Is it very bad if I want to kill my future husband?".
She felt him wincing, but he replied with his usual calmness "Once he's dead, he won't suffer anymore. Can you tell the same for you?".
She smirked. He was right. Death was mercy. And Hector deserved only to suffer.
"Don't let your anger cloud your good heart".
A scoff escaped her tight lips "Easy to say".
"Close your eyes and try to let your anger flow away".
She glared at the Bishop but obeyed.
When she exited the chapel, she knew that someone was stalking her.
She dreaded that meeting, but couldn't avoid it forever.
"Good morning, Alyssa".
Honeyed voice, a polite bow. All an act.
Because he needed her.
"I'm in a hurry" she said blankly, trying to wak away, but Hector stepped in her way and she needed to halt for not bumping against his broad chest.
She avoided his gaze, her fingers itching for the need to curl and hit him.
"I need to talk to you" he said simply, almost begging.
I need to kill you, she remarked mentally.
She recalled when she was younger and so silly, when she had feelings for him, although she already disliked his arrogance and his many other bad qualities.
Everything had flown away.
Only hatred was left.
"I've pushed too far, but I meant no harm. You know how I care that we win this war. And on the battlefield I saw horrors..." he realized that his speech was making no effect on her but enhancing her anger, so he trailed off "If there's anything I can do to help the captain...".
She dangerously shook her head and glared at him.
"You wanted to kill him" she spoke the crude truth.
His sun kissed skin turned pale, but he didn't dare to deny.
He leaned closer, knowing the risk, and confided in a whisper "I wanted to understand. Don't tell you're so blind that you didn't notice that he's not normal".
She couldn't stand to hear an insult from him, but his unexpected excuse teased a small doubt in her.
Yet she hissed "Just because he's better than you...".
"It's not just that!" he protested, almost losing his temper, but composed himself and spoke more plainly "What if he is... more than just a common peasant?".
Alyssa didn't snark at him as she wished. She stared at him fiercily, pondering that possibility.
"If he's Grisha I would know that" she said as a matter of fact "If he's Grisha he wouldn't have let himself getting killed".
If he was Grisha, Hector wouldn't have wasted a second to sell Kiril to his friends amongst the druskelle to have him burned on a stake.
Hector let out a defeated sigh "Yeah, now at least we know that for sure. Yet, I wouldn't trust him. Another menace is as dangerous as Grisha to us. Usually people so skilled have been trained as spies".
Alyssa recalled the knife that she deliberately left next to a wounded Kiril. She trusted him.
"If Kiril is a spy I would cut his throat open myself" she spat and tried to walk around him, but Hector raised an arm and almost trapped her against the wall.
She took a careful step back from his touch.
"Could you? You seem too infatuated with him" he whispered allusively.
If looks could kill, her eyes would have already turned him into ashes "And you look like a jealous idiot who risked to waste one of Ravka's greatest resources".
She took a step towards him, wishing to bark at him so the whole palace would listen, but she had little voice left and it came out as a tired whisper.
"How many soldiers did we see practicing, hoping for someone who can give us a sparkle of hope in this war? And how many good soldiers died?".
"I know that, Alyssa" he said gloomily, trying to take her hand "And as soldier of Ravka, I beg you not to turn your back on me. I've been through hell to survive the war and come back to you. We promised to be a team".
She kept her hands away from him, studying his callous hand like to decide if it was a danger.
"We promised many things. But the most important ones are for Ravka" she reminded.
His hand fell back "We should focus on our wedding".
Her breath hitched, but she couldn't afford to alarm him "Why? It will be a simple ceremony, just like any funeral. No waste of money".
He nodded with a disapproving frown "I wish we can spend more time together".
Like it was enough for her to see him as a human with his weaknesses, as someone to pity instead of someone to punish.
She moved away from him, walking around him to get her path clear.
"Maybe when I'll stop being mad at you. Now leave me alone. Or you have no chance that I might decide to help you".
He bowed at her passage and said with faked humility "Enjoy your day, Alyssa".
She walked away cursing him under her breath.
Kiril a Grisha. Kiril a spy.
Just other words to the list of insults she hah heard from Hector.
At least he didn't dare to call the captain a weakling again.
Yet she felt uneasy in front of those words.
She knew Kiril for just some weeks and already decided to trust him with all her heart, when she was used to trust very few people.
She didn't know enough about him yet. She didn't know anyone of his family or his friends to ask about his true self.
He was a still mystery, no matter how close she allowed him to be.
She ate some breakfast on her own, recalling how painful it was to see him hurt, but also the beauty in his eyes as he stared adoringly at her.
Don't do this to me. She begged.
She would never want to choose between him and her loyalty to her king and to Ravka.
But she trusted him.
Her feet kicked away a bundle of flowers abandoned in front of her door and marched quickly to reach Kiril's room, her heart beating nervously with the fear that something else could have happened while she was away.
His door was open and she bumped in the Bishop again, who promptly dismissed himself.
Her worries vanished like smoke in the wind when she saw him.
"It's so good to see you healthier" she said with a sigh of relief.
"It's so good to see you too. More beautiful than ever".
He surprised her with a big hug.
It was like drowning in happiness.
"Can we just stay like this forever?".
He said the same thing she was begging in her mind.
Being in his arms, feeling his warm body pressed against hers, his breath caressing her skin as he hid his face in the crook of her neck seemed even far better than anything else she fantasized.
"Thank you" he whispered against her skin "For all you do for me. You don't know how much this means to me".
"You mean a lot to me" she confessed, leaning back to see how his bruises were normally healing.
He didn't mind her staring and let his fingers play with her hair "Am I allowed to leave this room now? I don't like to be lazy".
"Yes. You're coming with me" she announced with a grin, grabbing his hand and pulling him out in the corridor.
As she expected, he seemed exicted that they headed towards her room, but she led him to another doorknob instead.
His expression tensed as he realized where they were.
She opened the doors, introducing him in the war room.
"You already joined a meeting. Now you're officially one of the Council".
It was hard to keep her voice neutral, when she just wanted to celebrate that moment.
She checked his reaction, seeing him hesitant at the news.
Him, a simple soldier without a noble name, but who had an exceptional talent.
"Truly?".
She confirmed with a heavy nod "You replace Hector as long as the King prefers".
Kiril still looked hesitant, but there was a light shining in his eyes as they scanned the large room.
"He won't be happy".
"He deserved it" she said emphatically "He decided to act against a soldier of Ravka. Now he pays".
Her restless fingers unrolled some papers. Strategies on not losing the war, on how to delay the doom.
They spent hours in that room, meeting other members of the Council and checking the latest reports from the warfronts.
Soon Kiril realized how desperate their situation was.
Alyssa didn't want him to feel the weight of that burden, but he had potential to become a hope not just for her, but also for Ravka.
The rising sun wasn't warm enough to defeat the cold of that morning.
Alyssa felt her fingers freezing around the bow she was holding, but she needed practice, no matter how she felt helpless in front of the war, of an upcoming invasion in the capital.
"Isn't the target a little too far?".
She released the breath she was holding, her heart warming up at the voice she loved.
She turned her head to welcome Kiril with a smile, then focused of her activity again.
"I'll have a moving target next time" she aimed and shoot, her arrow hitting close to the center.
She picked another arrow and felt Kiril moving closer to her, until he stood right behind her, his body pressed softly against her back, but that wasn't enough to feel his warmth against their heavy clothes.
"You're too tensed" he whispered, his breath tickling her ear "Deep breath".
She obeyed, but he was a distraction.
She felt one hand landing on her hip, adjusting her posture, while his other hand grabbed the bow.
Every touch set her body on fire, yet she wanted to focus on training, having already planned how to punish him for interrupting her.
"Inhale deeply, then hold your breath" he pressed his cheek against hers and peered at the target.
She obeyed and let the arrow go, letting out a cry of joy when it got the centre.
She almost turned and hugged him, but his cheeky grin reminded her that she needed to actually punish him.
"Thanks. What are you doing here in the camp, besides stalking me?".
"I'm growing lazy without some exercise" he glanced at the nearby camp, where the other soldiers were into their daily sessions.
"Good. So we can start your new training session".
"We?" he repeated with a questioning look.
"I told you you'll be practicing only with me".
He looked perplexed.
"I need to improve my skills" she insisted "I'm a soldier of Ravka too and I'm not trained enough. You need to practice, so we match, right? You practice with me and teach me all you know".
He leaned closer with a grin "I have other kind of practice I want to try with you, not close combat".
She tried to punch him and he reacted only a second before he could be hit.
"If I need to wear a mask of Hector to encourage you, I will" she teased, determined not to get a no from him "Don't be delicate just because I am me. You want to thank me for tending at you in these days. Well, this is the price".
It took a while before he took it seriously, but she didn't regret it. He proved again his skills.
When she was out of breath, she pulled out a strip of cloth.
"Are you so invincible also if you're blindfolded?".
His smirk was so irresistible that she felt hot like it was summer.
"I'm not worried as long as you don't plan to tie also my hands" he leaned closer so she could tie the blindfold.
"Do you trust me so much that you don't worry that I might invite someone stronger to erase that cocky grin from your face?".
She waved a hand in front of his covered eyes and he snatched her wrist, murmuring to her "I do".
Alyssa did her best to try to catch him by surprise, using all the moves she knew. But he was always a step forward.
"Are you hurt?" he asked removing his blindfold, when she stopped to catch her breath.
"I'm alright" she smiled to comfort him "How can you react that fast? And I want go learn all those tricks to get out of a complicated situation".
He rested his hands on her side to help her standing on her feet "You'll learn. But not today. Saints, I'm exhausted. If training with you is so intense, how is it to try to tame you on a bed?".
She moved closer to reply in his ear "Earn it, if you want to find out".
She slipped away from him, gesturing to follow her into the palace.
"I'll go and take a bath. Take some rest. You'll need it. Tomorrow we practice with close combat too, but I'll be trying to stab you with a dagger".
Kiril blinked, probably praying that she was joking.
When she reached her room, she noticed how red and scratched her hands were, mostly due to her falling on the ground. She didn't manage to hit Kiril with a winning move.
Soon Lara joined her and checked her bruises, that were nothing compared to what Kiril had got days earlier.
Alyssa watched her in awe as the girl used her special powers. Like magic.
Within moments she stretched her healed hands, like she had no practice at all "You're an angel, Lara".
"The Saints gave me this gift to help. I'm nothing like them".
The girl was too modest. Too good for a world of predators.
"You can join us. I remember how eager you are to learn to fight too" Alyssa suggested, but the red haired healer didn't look willing to accept the offer.
"I get too emotional. In a real battle, I would hate stabbing a stranger".
Who wouldn't? Alyssa wondered. But for defending her country and her people, she wouldn't hesitate.
"You have a pure heart" Alyssa murmured "I hate to ask you to go to the war front. But if in the future I will need to ask you this favour, would you do it?".
Lara's eyes widened "Me? To the war front?".
"Not to fight" Alyssa clarified quickly "I fear that Kiril will go back there soon and I need someone to help him. Protecting him will be like protecting me, because if he dies, it will kill me too".
Lara moved her mouth, speechless.
Alyssa closed her eyes, feeling guilty "I'm sorry. I know it's selfish".
"No" Lara said trying to sound firm "We've been already talking about me helping on the war front".
"Yeah and we agreed that without an amplifier you are not powerful enough to save all the wounded" Alyssa recalled "But protecting one soldier should be an easier task".
Lara lowered her head and grabbed her hand "I owe you everything, Alyssa. So if you ask me to watch over someone you love, I will gladly do it".
Alyssa hugged her with gratitude, then dismissed her, turning towards the warm tub waiting for her.
After removing her clothes, she welcomed the embrace of the water, watching rose petals fluttering around her, while her mind reviewed all the moments with Kiril.
The water wasn't enough to sooth her emotions.
He was everything she needed.
After a while, Alyssa heard a panel moving and woke from her daydreams.
She was grateful that she just stepped out of the water and put on her underwear.
"You missed our tea time" Meira reproached her softly.
"I'm sorry. I was busy".
The princess chuckled "Yeah, I watched you practicing on the snow. You're becoming better than our average soldiers".
"I wish you can learn to fight too" Alyssa said sympathetically.
Meira shrugged "You know that my father doesn't want to hear this kind of discussions. How I envy you and that captain. You were eating each other with your eyes".
Alyssa threw herself on her bed, unable to stop grinning "Were we?".
Meira jumped on the bed and laid next to her, poking at her "You look so happy".
It was true. Alyssa laughed. But there was one last obstacle to divide her from her true happiness.
"I can be happy only if I can marry the captain".
Telling the truth so openly made her feel so exposed. But it was alright. She trusted the princess.
Meira sighed "But we already announced officially your betrothal with Hector".
"We are trapped into arranged marriages" Alyssa said with sympathy.
The princess never saw in person the man she was engaged to marry.
But surely the prince couldn't be worse than Hector.
"Yeah. But nobody would mind if you let a handsome man sneaking in your bed" Meira tickled her.
Truly? Would Hector be indifferent if she decided to spend all her nights with Kiril? She doubted it. She could only imagine her groom be restless until he managed to kill his rival. And that was something she couldn't allow.
Her mind struggled through all those problems for the rest of the day, until in the evening eventually she fell asleep.
Alyssa pulled closer the warm blankets.
She turned, noticing that someone was sleeping next to her.
In the dim light of the candle she recognized Kiril and her heart softened.
Keeping a candle lit at night helped him to sleep quietly.
But somehow she felt restless.
She eyed the flame and noticed that something was hanging above it.
Paralyzed with fear, she wanted to react, instead she could only watch the flame starting to devour the cloth, lighting the whole room and filling it with a choking smoke, then everything was on fire.
She screamed and tried to escape it, totally helpless.
Alyssa woke up abruptly, panting and sweating cold.
Her room was dark and she was alone on her bed.
The fire was dead in the fireplace. Winter's cold fingers slithered into room and made her shiver.
Alyssa pulled her blankets over her head, trying hard to fall back to sleep.
On the next day, she waited by the training camp for a while, turning the dagger she was holding between her fingers.
Hector was insisting on planning their wedding, unaware that all she cared about was taking that dagger into their room so she could cut his throat before he could consume their union.
Killing a soldier of Ravka was treason against the king.
Hector was close to be charge with that crime when he tried to kill Kiril. It would have saved her from that unhappy marriage, but Kiril's life wasn't a fair price.
All she needed to do was to take care of details, so everyone would believe that it was an unlucky accident. Maybe he got drunk and slipped, cutting his neck on the sharp edges of a broken glass.
"Isn't it a little too dangerous?" Kiril woke her from her dark thoughts, gesturing at her dagger.
She turned to him like a predator ready to strike "Do your best in this fight and I won't cut your throat".
She aimed at him, but he quickly stepped aside and blocked her arm.
"Seriously you think you'll need to fight to stab someone?" he teased as she attacked again and bumped against his chest, her armed hand blocked in the air.
It was growing so exciting that she hoped they won't end up making out on that dirty ground.
Whenever she tried to scratch him, he moved like he was simply dancing and easily blocked her.
"Do you realize that you can charm any enemy..." he allowed her to bring the dagger close to his exposed throat, then twisted her wrist without hurting her, snatching the weapon from her fingers "And you can easily stab him straight in the heart?".
"What if my enemy is a woman?" she suggested, getting her dagger back.
"I doubt there's any woman in Ravka who's a better warrior than you".
How flattering. She snorted "Then you never saw how aggressive a mother could be to protect her children".
Her own mother wasn't capable to defend herself. Did she die by enemy's hand waiting for any man to come and save her?
Or was she burned alive in her own house?
Alyssa attacked more fiercely, but Kiril knew that he couldn't afford to undervalue her.
"Careful" he warned when their bodies collided again, his hand twisting her wrist until the tip of her dagger poked her side "Don't attack without thinking what you're doing. You expose yourself".
Alyssa wriggled her arm free and tried again.
She felt so fueled that she didn't care if someone would get hurt.
She wanted to win.
Kiril understood her intention and turned more wary.
He snatched and threw away her dagger, so they were free to be engaged in a close combat without getting stabbed.
She tried to punch his face while her knee aimed between his legs, but somehow he slipped away from her and turned at her back, wrapping an arm under her neck.
She used his trick to free herself and tried to hit his heel to make him fall on the ground, but he escaped also that attempt.
She cried in frustration and charged again, until she saw him picking a torch from a wall and throwing the flame on the snow.
She halted, her wide eyes staring at the dying flame.
She didn't react as Kiril grabbed her from behind and tried to tease her to attack again.
Alyssa held her breath as she was abruptly turned to face Kiril's inquisitive stare.
"How is it that I can't make you stop? While a simple torch can?".
She felt tears filling her eyes as she couldn't control her anger.
She hated feeling so exposed. And he just unveiled one of her weak point.
Without meaning to reject him, she pushed him away.
"We're done today" she spat, marching away from the camp, but he disagreed and wrapped his arms around her.
She reacted badly, punching at him and crushing his feet, but he didn't let her go.
"Let me go!" she ordered.
"Hey, calm down. What's wrong with you?".
Wrong. Another wrong word.
What next? Would he mention that she's overreacting?
That would get him killed.
"Nothing. Let me go" she hissed.
Usually everyone understood that it meant that she wanted to be alone. Usually nobody would dare to insist.
"Alyssa, it's just me" Kiril said softly, taking her hand into his callous palms to make her look up at him "I realized that we were pushing too much, but I didn't mean to make you so upset".
"Upset? I'm just tired" she stepped away, marching to find a cover indoor "And I'm so weak, compared to you".
"I thought you didn't want me to let you win" he said carefully.
"That's right. But it means that I'm not enough. You can always foresee what I'm going to do and...".
"It's not that" he cut off and grabbed her wrist to stop her "Let's just sit down. And we talk".
"I don't want to talk".
Sitting in the stables was the least romantic place, but at least they were protected from the freezing wind.
"You're doing great, I mean it. I've never met many women who can fight the way you do".
"Have you met many?" she asked, unsure if she wanted to know about all the girls and women that had attracted his attention before they met.
"Not that many" he said "But I saw what a mother can do to protect her child. I see the same fire in you. Although I think that the child you are trying to protect is Ravka. And you're not powerful enough to do that".
Helpless, hopeless.
Alyssa had already spent all her tears on that fact.
She hugged her knees "I wish I was Grisha. I wish I had the power to fire up all our enemies' armies, or the power to crush all their hearts with just my will".
He stood silent. Maybe sensing how she meant what she said.
"I'm sure you would be terrifying as a Grisha" he murmured with a respectful soft laugh.
Her lips curled a little, but her eyes rolled to fight back the tears "Why the Grisha can't share my love for Ravka and come out to fight next to us?".
He inhaled deeply "I think Ravka had done little for the Grisha. Since the Fold was created, there is no safe peace for them, everyone hunts them. Being born a Grisha is seen like a curse nowadays".
He was right. She glanced at him "But once Grisha worked with us. The Black Heretic was our King's advisor".
"Yeah. But you know the result of it".
She looked up to the window, seeing the black wall on the horizon.
"If you had the power of light, I'm sure you'd be able to burn it down".
Her eyes lowered to her aching hands "But I'm nothing".
His hands grabbed hers, their warmth capable of giving her some comfort.
"You are everything to me. And I wish to help you dealing with your fears".
Alyssa watched their hands, his thumbs drawing invisible circles on her skin.
She took her time before translate into words the horrors that were still haunting her.
"I saw my palace, my home, burning, with my family in it" she murmured slowly "I saw the flames rising higher and higher up to the tallest tower, until the fire devoured it all like a damned monster".
His hands squeezed hers "I'm sorry. I should have made the links".
"No palace had been built again in Os Kervo, nothing could replace the shame that the impostor king brought to my city. Now his brother, Darius the impostor, is growing stronger in the southern lands. And I wish to burn him on the stake. Like the Druskelle burn the Grisha alive".
His hands moved to cup her face, his forehead pressing against hers "I would kill him for you, if that's what you need. You don't need to become the fiercest assassin just to do it".
"I don't know if I need it. Darius is the one I hate the most, even more than Hector. I want him to suffer, although it will never match the suffering I bore, it will never change what happened".
Kiril sighed and pulled her into a hug.
They stood in that embrace until she felt ready to go back to the palace.
Before they parted ways, she turned to him.
"Kiril?" she called, her breath hitching at the sight of his eyes meeting hers again. And she let her heart speak "Thank you. I didn't sleep well and I've been awful today. Yet, you've been so patient".
He bowed "Anything for you, Alyssa. It hurts me to see you so sorrowful, so I need to help you if I want to feel better".
She cut their short distance "I believe you're mad. But I'm truly grateful".
She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer for a quick kiss.
When she entered her room, she felt better than she imagined.
She watched her red hands, marked with the signs of the handle of her dagger, that she had squeezed too hard.
She waited and Lara didn't come.
Alyssa didn't mind enduring the aches of her tired body, but she was used to be visited regularly by Lara, the only girl she trusted amongst the servants.
The silence in her room was becoming defeaning, so she took care of the hearth.
Fire became her only company, unless she had to join the royals for dining.
On the next day, Alyssa kept searching for the familiar bright red hair throughout the whole palace.
That wasn't normal.
It's been few years that Lara lived in the palace and Alyssa always managed to locate her.
Alyssa checked the healer's modest room. No hints that something could be amiss.
She bumped into Kiril, who guessed that something was wrong.
"Alyssa? What is it?".
"I can't find Lara. It's been more than a day that she's gone. I'm afraid that something happened to her".
The idea was too scary.
She prayed all the Saints to make it untrue.
If Lara was gone, the palace wasn't safe anymore.
Without Lara, the General was dead within few days or hours and the King would be forced to name his successor. Hector.
Without Lara, Alyssa had no power to protect Kiril if he was badly wounded, at the war front or in that same palace.
A/N
Sunday 5th September 2021
That wasn't a world for Grisha 😬
After some stall, things are starting to happen..
I'm looking forward to what's coming next🚀
If you have any question, just ask 😊 And every comment is always highly appreciated 🖤