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Wine
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Chapter 24: Wine (Ronan's POV)
After that conversation, there was a lot of tension between us. I could feel it, she definitely felt it, even the walls probably felt it. After I left her room, we somewhat avoided each other. I left her to unpack, telling her she could let me know if she needed anything, but she didn't come out of her room and I didn't go back either. I don't know what to do. I feel like if I act on impulse and do what I truly, really, desperately want, which is her, then I'm not only putting myself but I'm putting her at risk too. If everybody isn't against her already, they definitely will be if they find out about us.
But then I think about what Grace told me. About how if I don't do what I want to, I'll have to spend a long time around her, watch her get engaged, married, and whatnot, all while holding in how I genuinely feel. I'll constantly want her but I'll never be able to have her. Instead, I'd be tortured every time I see her with Lucas. That's why I suggested we should do whatever we please while we're staying here and return back to our assigned roles once we're at the palace again.
But that's now how it works, is it? You can try but feelings don't always leave your system and if they don't, we're in for a disaster. Because there's no doubt in my mind that if I can't contain myself, I will take her hand at that church and run. That's only if I love her by then. But she's Princess Grace Grimaldi. The whole fucking kingdom loves her, why wouldn't I? I'm hoping we're both able to lose whatever we've developed towards each other before her wedding. But I can't be very sure.
Let's come back to the present though, where I'm making dinner and she's still hiding in the room. I went to check on her a few minutes ago but her room was empty and I could hear the shower water running, so I figured she was freshening up. I decreased the heat of the gas and put the lid on, letting the spaghetti boil while I made the sauce. I looked over my shoulder when I heard the floorboard creak.
She was taking a look around while walking over, stopping at the kitchen island where she sat on the barstool, looking at me. I turned around, facing her. "Hi," she said softly, giving me a small smile.
"Hi," I replied, taking in her damp hair and the navy blue satin gown she wore with a robe on top, secured around her waist with a knot. "I'm making spaghetti, I hope that's fine for dinner," I said, turning back around and starting to wrap it up, almost done with dinner.
"Yeah, spaghetti's good. I didn't know you could cook," she said, drumming her fingers on the countertop.
"There's a lot you don't know about me."
"Hmm, I wonder whose fault that is," she scoffed.
I chuckled, turning off the gas and grabbing two plates. "That's because before we came here we were working as princess and bodyguard. And here that's not what we are. Isn't that what you said, Princess?"
"I did, huh?"
"You did." While letting the food cool down a bit, I grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses.
"Oh, we're having wine?" She smiled. I could tell she was trying to ease the situation between us and reduce the tension as much as she could. She was acting like nothing happened earlier.
It made my heart twist in an odd little way. I didn't know if she was acting that way because she wanted to or because she didn't want to make me think or feel a certain way, and the possibility of it being the latter made me feel a little guilty.
She shouldn't be acting like that because I don't regret it at all.
"We can have some, not too much though. This little getaway is still meant for your safety." I poured some of the alcohol out into the two glasses before sliding one over to her along with her plate.
"Who do I need to be saved from here?" she asked, stirring the food while staring at me as I sat across from her.
I sighed, grabbing my glass. "Me." I took a sip of the drink before putting it back down, my eyes not leaving hers even for a heartbeat.
We sat like that for a minute in silence, simply staring at each other. She took in a small breath and cleared her throat, looking away and at her food instead. She grabbed the wine glass and downed more than half of it.
My lip twitched but I bit back a smile and we ate in silence.
"I have a question," she sighed when we were nearly done with dinner.
"Hmm?"
"While we're here, I'm not allowed to leave the house and go anywhere else, am I?"
"Nope." I stood up, grabbing our empty plates, and took them to the sink.
"So... I'm on lockdown?" She stood up, grabbing our wine glasses and following me but instead of leaving them in the sink, she poured more wine into them.
I watched her while washing the dishes. "Yes," I said, answering her question. "Do you think that's a good idea?" I asked, glancing at the glasses pointedly.
"Wine is always a good idea," she smiled.
"You'll get drunk," I replied.
"So? Wine drunk is the best drunk. It's a lust-filled academic."
"A lust-filled academic?" I mused, chuckling softly.
She nodded. "It makes you horny and intellectual."
I stared at her, surprised. I never imagined hearing the word 'horny' come out of her mouth. She curses so rarely as it is but even then, she never talks about anything our society would deem so inappropriate. I've heard her only curse out of frustration. "Is the wine making you horny?"
"No," she laughed. "I'm just talking generally, Mr. Stone," she sang, a pink flush coating her cheek. Oh, dear. She's getting tipsy. "You're not drinking," she pouted, sitting on the countertop, her legs rocking back and forth as she began leaning back. She fell back a little too quickly and her head hit the cabinet behind her. "Ah!" She grabbed the back of her head, turning around and pouting at the cabinet.
"You're drunk, Princess," I smirked.
"I'm not drunk," she huffed.
"Sorry, you're being lustfully academic," I corrected.
She chuckled softly, resting her head against the cabinet while nodding. "Yes, I am."
I washed my hands and then dried them, staring at her, leaning my hip against the counter.
"You won't drink?" she asked, lifting her brows.
"If I drink any more wine, I won't be able to do my job."
"You're not here to do your job," she whined. "I'll have it."
I pulled my glass away before she could grab it. I don't normally drink wine, it makes me woozy and drunk faster than any kind of alcohol. Not to mention, as she said, it makes me horny. And that is a very bad idea right now.
She frowned, "Give it to me."
"You haven't even finished yours yet."
"So? You'll waste it," she pointed out. "Mine," she sang, leaning forward to grab it but I pulled my arm back. Her face came in closer to mine and we both froze momentarily, staring at each other. She blinked, staring at me. Her eyes traveled across my face, lingering on my lips for a beat too long. "Can I kiss you?" she whispered, her eyes coming back up to mine.
I didn't know what to say. I wanted her to kiss me but being sober, my consciousness and work mindset was getting in the way.
She pulled back, kicking the side of my leg gently. "You have to think about it for so long?" She scoffed, somewhat offended.
"I'm not thinking of an answer, I'm thinking of the consequences."
She rolled her eyes. "There are consequences for everything we do, Mr. Stone."
I stared at the wine, drinking it down while she rambled about how important it is to do whatever you want while you can.
"It's like giving a huge 'fuck you' to all the people who try telling you what to do," she concluded, turning to me.
I blinked, staring at her while setting the glass down, already feeling the rush of wine to my head. She finished her wine and then poured a third glass for us both. I sighed, grabbing the counter with one hand while she held out the glass for me. Getting drunk together is such a bad idea. It could lead to the one thing we shouldn't be doing, whatsoever.
"Do you miss your parents?" she suddenly questioned.
Bring on the wine, then.
I nodded, staring at the drink before taking a rather large sip.
"Me too," she sighed loudly, taking another sip. "Me too," she repeated.
"Your father's alive," I stated.
"He felt alive yesterday after a long time," she said softly. "Before that, it always felt like he was gone too. He was a good father when I was younger. I don't know what happened. I'll never understand why he killed my mom and brought Judith into our lives. I hate her."
"I don't even know her and I hate her," I mumbled.
She laughed softly. "I love when you behave in a way that it shows you're on my side," she explained animatedly, "I love it. It's the only time I feel like someone's truly on my side. You don't call her the queen when we're talking, you call her Judith."
"I don't think she's a good queen. Plus, your friends may not be my friends but your enemies are certainly my enemies. It's my job to get rid of them, you know."
"I hope Atlas marries a nice girl. Astella needs a good queen," she exhaled.
"You'd be a good queen, Princess."
She turned to me, shaking her head with a click of her tongue. "I don't want to be queen. I want to run. Atlas trained his whole life, he truly wants it, he deserves it. I don't. Being a queen doesn't always mean standing up for your people. Sometimes, it means no matter how much you care for them, you're forced to do things that can make or break their lives. I'd rather be a part of those people. I'd rather be a voice there."
I felt blood rushing to my face, making it warmer. My head started getting fuzzy and I was most certainly drunk at the end of my third glass. "But who's going to voice their opinions to the royal family if you leave, hmm?" I put my glass down and moved a little closer to her, standing between her legs, resting my hands on the counter beside her thighs.
She stared at me through hooded eyes, getting both drowsy and by the look on her face, aroused.
Why? I have no idea. I guess wine doesn't just make me horny, it makes people horny in general.
She was right.
.
.
.
.
.
Chapter 24
I have so much school work and I HATE IT ALL SO MUCH
next chapter: control