The plane ride back was eerily quiet with the exception of Elle. None of the men spoke or really moved much. They all just took their seats and stayed there.
No one knew what to say.
But just like the first time, Luca interlaced our fingers and stayed at my side the whole ride. Even when I got up to change Elle's diaper, he came with me.
This pattern didn't stop once we landed. The men climbed into the SUVs with minimal hushed talking. Luca practically refused to release my hand from his and urged me into a car. The car ride was the same, absolute silence except for Elle and our fingers intertwined.
When we arrive, all of the men except Luca, Gio and Antonio file into the compound. I follow behind them in an almost daze, the only thought on my mind is sleep.
The compound on the other hand is bustling with movement the second my feet cross the threshold. Young soldiers are getting ready to start training with the best. Arsenals are being stocked. A mix of Italian and English chatter encompasses the building as the men frantically prepare for war.
"I'll take her," Antonio says with his arms stretched towards me. I hadn't noticed him walk over and I almost forgot I was holding Elle.
Luca's warm hand on my back gives me an odd sense of comfort.
"Let's go to bed," he whispers in my ear before guiding me away from the swarms of men.
We silently walk to my room and he opens the door for me. I take a seat on the edge of the bed and my thoughts begin to race.
I was shot at. At a fucking church of all places. I watched as one of the sweetest women I've ever met died. And then watched as her husband died seconds later.
There was so much blood.
But I'm okay, at least physically. I wasn't injured, just scared. It was dangerous and I was afraid but Luca got me to safety.
Just like he promised.
"Il mio piccolo angelo?" Luca calling out from the bathroom snaps me back to reality.
I don't say anything, I just walk over to where he is. The shower is running and the room is steamy. Luca reaches out and I flinch but he just cups my cheek.
"I'm so sorry," he says simply, but his eyes say so much more.
"Are you okay?" I ask softly. I have no idea what to say, what to do. He just lost his brother.
"Clean up and get some rest," he instructs as he leans down and kisses my forehead. "Don't worry about me."
He smiles sadly before leaving the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.
I strip from the blood soaked dress and step into the shower. The steady beating of the water on my skin keeps me grounded to reality. My body moves on auto pilot as I wash and condition my hair before I wash my body.
The water of the shower collides with the dried blood causing a sickening red swirl at the drain. I scrub my face hard, desperate to remove the sensation of feeling the blood spray.
Eventually, I turn off the shower and step into a towel. As I towel dry my hair I groan in frustration. I don't have any fucking clothes.
Still wrapped in the towel, I walk over to the door for my room. I open it just a crack in the name of decency and am quite shocked at who is stationed outside.
"Hey," Gio smiles at me softly.
"Are you okay?" I ask him with furrowed brows. It doesn't look like he even had a chance to shower.
"I think I'm supposed to ask you that," he replies.
"I don't have any clothes," I tell him.
"Go back in your room and I'll have something from Luca sent up," he says.
I listen to what he says and retreat further into my room. I sit on the edge of the bed again and just stare down at my toes.
My mind seems to have stopped. It was going too fast earlier and now has stopped completely. Just blank.
"Victoria," Gio knocks on the door.
I walk over and open it a crack again. Gio holds out a pile of clothes with a smile that I gratefully take.
"Thank you," I tell him before I close the door again.
I discard the towel on the floor and slip into Luca's boxers and t-shirt. Almost instantaneously, my muscles relax as though even Luca's clothes could protect me.
I climb into the soft blankets and allow the exhaustion to take over.