**Aubrey's POV - leading up to the ceremony**
Esme came back to the astronomy tower after talking with Mum, and I could tell that they'd talked about Fred before she even sat down. Her eyes were downcast, her shoulders slightly slumped, and her eyes were even more bloodshot than before.
We had gone up there after lunch. Fred had been trying to corner Esme all morning, and she was getting extremely frustrated that he wouldn't leave her alone. I borrowed Harry's cloak, talked Lilian into spending the day with us, and then dragged Esme up here. The one time that Fred had come up here looking for her, I tossed the cloak over Esme and lied to him. Lilian backed me up, said she was probably in her dorm room.
When he finally left, Esme immediately began crying. She cried for a while, and then Mum's tiny little bird-shaped note found us. Lilian helped calm her down, and when Esme felt like it wasn't too obvious she'd been crying, she went to talk to Mum.
Once she was back, she told us how Dad and Remus were, then murmured, "I think Mum's hiding something."
"What? Why?"
"She just... seemed really off. Like her mind was somewhere else, the entire time we were talking. She mentioned that she got a letter from Fran, gave me a half-assed explanation, and then just kind of half-listened as I told her what happened. I know she was trying to be supportive, but not pushy, and I know she's genuinely worried and wants to help me feel better, but it's just so obvious she's worried about more than me. There's no doubt in my mind that she's stressed out about something, but I have no idea what."
"Well, what did she tell you about Fran's letter?"
"She said that they actually found leads to Eveline, but it was looking like she was around bad people. That Fran and Emelia were scared," Esme furrowed her eyebrows, and I could tell she was trying to figure out how to explain what made her think Mum was hiding something. She was thinking about how to explain what she saw, "She was fidgety, more than usual. Her explanation was choppy, like, the way she explained it just seemed like she was being really careful with what words she chose to use. I actually had to pull her from her thoughts twice before we got around to talking about Fred."
Esme sighed heavily and looked out at the sky. Lilian and I watched her closely, waiting to see if she was going to say anything else. I realized she wasn't after a few moments.
But I didn't know what to say. Was there anything I could say? To me, it sounded like Mum was definitely not telling Esme the full truth about what Fran found about Eveline. But it makes sense for Mum to hide things about Eveline from Esme. The falling out that they had was really bad for Esme, and it's still a pretty sensitive subject for her.
And I was still pretty angry at Eveline for abandoning my sister, and even more angry that she ran away without any sort of explanation to her. I hoped she was alright, but I was holding a grudge because I knew Esme wouldn't.
I knew that if Fran did tell Mum that she believed Eveline was in trouble or danger, Mum would not tell Esme until she was certain about what was going on. If Fran got a lead that Eveline was suddenly a stripper in America, Mum wouldn't tell Esme until Fran said that she had seen her with her own eyes. The last thing that Mum wanted to do was give Esme incorrect information about her once-upon-a-time best friend.
If Fran thought that Eveline was actually, really dead, Mum wouldn't tell Esme until she saw her body with her own two eyes. If Fran thought that Eveline was a serial killer, Mum wouldn't tell Esme until she was arrested and convicted for the crimes. She didn't want Esme to worry for no reason. And Esme would worry.
Since Mum did tell Esme that they believed Eveline was around bad people... that must've meant that Fran was quite sure about it. Or, it meant that Eve was around really, really, really bad people, doing really bad things.
It could've meant that Eve was in a lot of trouble with the worst kind of people, and while Mum knew it, she just couldn't tell Esme how bad it was.
And I couldn't tell Esme about that possibility. If Mum was hiding something about Eveline from Esme, she was doing it with a damn good reason. I wasn't sure if I was as worried about what Mum was hiding, or about why and how long she'd hide it for. Surely she wouldn't hide it forever, right? She wouldn't hide it until it became public knowledge... right?
I had no way of knowing. Mum did kind of hide the fact that she was dying until... well, she was nearly dead. She hid that from her own twin brother.
Merlin only knows what she'd hide from her daughters, the people she wanted to protect the most. Merlin only knows how long she could go without telling us. Mum's first priority was keeping us safe and happy - if she knew something that would jeopardize either, even if it wouldn't at the moment, she'd hide it until she just couldn't.
"I think that if Mum is hiding something about Eveline from you, she has a very good reason to do so," Ann broke the never-ending silence with a soft voice. When I looked towards her, she was looking at the sky too. I watched her as she spoke, "She could just be acting weird because she's so worried about the Tournament. Regardless of what she could be hiding, I know she would tell you anything that you needed to know. And she'd tell you when you needed to know."
"I know, Ann. It just felt like there was more, you know? Not even with Eveline, specifically. It felt like there was just more on her mind than there usually is. And that's saying a lot given how much she worries about literally everything."
There was another silence and then I had a dark thought.
If Esme was right, and Mum was worried about more than usual, if she was hiding something other than what Fran said about Eveline, it had to have something to do with Snape. It had to involve him. They'd been talking a lot since the start of the school year, and Mum hadn't said a word to any of us or Dad about it. I was positive that she believed nobody noticed, and while she would be relatively correct in that, I had noticed. Over the summer, Snape was literally at the top of Mum's list of people she hated with a burning passion. Then, within a week of this school year starting, the two of them are muttering back and forth at breakfast. By the end of the month, they had talked more than I think Mum and McGonagall talk. Whatever it is, Snape is involved.
I thought about how closely Mum's been watching Harry, and how worried she's seemed about him. Mum's natural state of being is worried about Harry, but it has seemed a bit worse lately. It seemed like she suddenly has a reason to worry about him. A reason that was more than just hoping he was happy. More than being worried that he was angry, or hurting. It seemed like she was actively worried that he was in danger. And Mum doesn't worry about Harry being in danger. She knows he's safe at Hogwarts.
For a moment, I tried to contribute that to her being worried about the Tournament, but there was no way that it was going to affect Harry. I had been with him every day and night since the Goblet was opened - aside from right then - there was zero chance he could've found a way to enter his name and then done it. I would've known if he had. Harry had also said that it would be nice, to have a year where he wasn't the one in danger. I knew he didn't want to enter.
Mum had to know that too. Harry had told Dad about his relief to not be the center of this year's drama, and I know Dad would've told her. If she knew that Harry had no interest in entering, and was still worried about him being in danger...
And if she's rushed out of the Great Hall with Snape after dinner...
Did it have something to do with Voldemort?
"I think we're overthinking it," I blurted out. Oh Merlin, I absolutely needed that thought out of my head. I knew Mum didn't believe he was gone for good. I knew there was only one thing Mum would genuinely be afraid of. I didn't want to... no, I couldn't think about that. I refused, "Mum must've had a bad dream and it's distracting her. She must just be tired, or in pain."
"Aubrey, you sound like you're trying to find an excuse, so you don't have to wonder if she's hiding something."
"Maybe I am. Maybe I don't want to think about the horrible things that Mum would have good reason to be hiding from us. I mean, honestly, Es, do you want to consider all of the things she could be hiding?"
She hesitated, then mumbled, "You have a point."
We went silent again.
I tried not to think about it, but... it made sense. It was quite a reach, but it did make sense. It explained why she's been talking to Snape. He was a Death Eater spy for Dumbledore. If he has heard some whisperings of You-Know-Who's return, Mum would the first person he'd tell.
If Mum was really distracted, so much so that she could hardly have a conversation with Esme, one that she invited Esme to have, she had to be thinking about something really serious. She had to be thinking of something that really scared her. And Mum isn't afraid of much, but his return is definitely high on that list.
"She could be pregnant."
Esme and I looked at Lilian in sync, both of us with bewildered expressions. But neither of us said anything. Oh, what a relief it would be if that was what Mum was hiding.
After a long moment, Esme looked at me. She appeared just as unsettled as I felt, so I wondered if she had reached the same terrifying possibility that I had. I wanted to ask her, but I knew that I couldn't. Not with our little sister here. Ann was still relatively clueless about everything that happened during the war. Mum hadn't gotten around to telling her everything, not how she had with me and Esme.
Of course Mum had told Esme about the war, she was 16. They'd probably started talking about it when Esme was 12 or 13. For me, it was entirely because Harry was one of my best friends. We had started talking about the war when I was 12.
Ann hadn't turned 13 yet, so while Mum had started telling her about some of the darker parts of the war, I knew that she didn't know the worst parts yet. Most of what she knew was probably about Mum's visions, about Mum and Dad's parts in the war. She knew about James and Lily, but I don't think she knew about how many people Voldemort murdered and tortured.
I didn't know that Mum believed Voldemort would return until that summer, and I was 14. There was no way that Mum had told Ann yet.
Neither Esme nor I wanted to talk about something that Lilian didn't know about yet.
So Esme and I silently watched one another until I leaned forward and looked at my little sister with a smile, "Would you want a brother or sister?"
"Oh, a brother, for sure."
The three of us stayed in the astronomy tower for a very long time. We almost even forgot about the Goblet of Fire ceremony. We talked about the idea of having a younger brother for a while, even talking about what names we'd throw into the hat.
When Mum told us about Hope, she had wanted the concept of whether it was a girl or boy to stay a secret until the baby was born. She and Remus picked out the girl name Hope, because it was Remus' mother's name, and had a lot of meaning to both of them, even outside of that. But they agreed to let us help pick out the boy's name. Esme had thought it was the most obvious thing in the world that our brother would be named James, but Mum seemed... off-put by the idea. She wasn't against it, she was just hesitant about naming her son after her brother.
Later, she explained that it felt wrong to name her son with Remus after James since that was a name that she and Dad had agreed on. They had agreed that their first son would definitely have James in his name, so it felt weird to think of naming Remus' son James.
So, I offered the name Louis. Well, I offered about a dozen names, but Louis was the only name that they liked. Though, now, if Mum got pregnant again and it was a boy, I really doubt she'd name him Louis for the same reason she wasn't considering the name James for Hope. Esme agreed with that logic, so we spent nearly an hour talking about possible named for our brother.
Esme's suggestion seemed the most likely if I had to actually consider it; James Regulus. Mum talked about how great our uncle Regulus was all the time, and while none of us knew what happened to him, we did know he had died. I figured it was probably either something very normal, like he got sick, and so Mum never thought to mention it. Or, he died super tragically and Mum didn't tell us because it was too dark or sad.
After talking about what our brother's name would be if we ever got one, we talked a bit more about Fred and Esme. It took us a long time to realize how late it was getting, and then we had to rush down towards the Great Hall hoping we weren't late.
Not that it was mandatory to attend the ceremony. It was an event that we could skip out on if we wanted to, but... there was a feast invovled so obviously I wanted to go.
Being late would've been awkard, and thankfully we weren't.
"I don't think Fred would dare to approach us," Lilian murmured softly to Esme as we walked through the doors to the Great Hall. The three of us had our arms linked, with Esme in the middle, and quietly whispering to each other.
"What makes you say that?"
"Look at Rey," She replied, raising an eyebrow at me. What about me? Did I have something on my shirt? "She looks like she's moments away from tearing someone's throat out."
"I do not!"
Esme laughed quietly before she looked at me with a smirk, "I think Ann's right."
"She is not!"
The two of them laughed as my face turned red. We kept walking towards where the other trio were sitting, thankfully not too close to the twins.
As we passed by a group of Slytherin's, I caught the most beautiful green eyes watching me. I smiled gently in her direction, and she returned the gesture with a soft wave and a wink. I felt my face turn even redder, and then felt Esme elbow me in the ribs.
"Ouch!"
"What was that?!"
"What was what?" I deflected as I rubbed my side.
"You - I saw her wink at you! And you blushed!"
"That's just Marissa."
At this point, we reached our seats, and Esme leaned towards me and asked in a dangerously hushed tone. I knew where she was going with this conversation. I could feel my face getting brighter and brighter.
"Marissa...?"
"Blake," I grumbled softly. I hated this conversation so much. I had wanted to tell Esme in a normal manner, not with her suspisiously questioning me like it was an interrogation. Not only had I never mentioned having a crush on a girl before, but Marissa was also in Slytherin, and Esme was a big sucker for inter-house rivalries, "She's a Slytherin in my year, but she's really nice and pretty, and she -"
"You have a crush on her!"
"So?"
"So... you never told me!"
"She's in Slytherin -"
"I don't care!" Esme exclaimed quietly, grinning micheviously as she did so. I could hear Ann's quiet giggling from her other side, and so I resigned to huffing in response. Esme rolled her eyes and elbowed my shoulder, cutting me off before I could complain, "You should've told me! I told you about every crush I've had!"
"Which is exactly one."
"That is besides the point, Rey. You didn't tell me, and that makes me really sad."
She was pouting at this point, but I could see the amusement behind her eyes. But the pout was a really good one, so I was struck with an ounce of guilt, "I'm sorry, okay?"
Esme perked back up and stuck her tongue out at me before confindently saying, "Just promise you'll tell me about any other crushes, okay?"
"Well... in that case -"
"Oh my Merlin, Aubrey! Who else!?"
Esme loved this too much. She was so excited to hear about my crushes. I spent the entirety of Dumbledore's speech quietly gushing about how great Marissa and Blaise were, though I did take the time to reiterate that they were both very nice despite their house. I blabbered on about Marissa for far longer than I did Blaise, something that Esme teased me deeply for.
I withheld all of the current preceedings. I talked about them as if they were both only my friends, and as if neither of them knew my feelings for either of them.
Which, wasn't the whole truth. Neither of them knew about my feelings for them, but both of them were painfully aware of my feelings for the other. Therefore, Marissa spent a lot of our time together trying to work up a plan to get Blaise to fall for me, while he was trying to talk me into telling Marissa how I felt about her.
It was painfully frustrating, but I couldn't do anything about it. I was far too confused to even think of telling either of them that I liked them, and them knowing about my crush on the other only made everything harder.
Blaise wouldn't develop feelings for me if he knew I fancied someone else, would he?
And even though I liked Marissa a lot more, I doubted that she liked girls, and she already had a crush on someone. She always talked about an older Ravenclaw, and while she never specified who, I felt safe to assume it was boy.
I knew that Esme would find too much amusement from teasing me that each of my crushes were trying to get me to be with the other one.
Lilian was learning all of this with Esme, but she was too busy giggling at Esme's enthusiasm to give me any semblance of a hard time. Mum didn't know much, mostly because I had been waiting for a good time to tell her, and there just wasn't one last year. There wasn't one over the summer, and then Dad told her about my crushes.
I hadn't gotten the chance to talk to her about the newer development, and I doubted I'd get the chance to anytime soon. It didn't bother me, especially since Dad did know.
Entirely because it was his fault I ended up in the situation at all. He had told me to try to hint to Marissa that I liked girls, but she took every hint to mean Blaise. Then he told me to try to see if Blaise liked me, but he already knew about my crush on Marissa, and I couldn't lie to him, nor could I just tell him that I liked him too.
I stopped taking his relationship advice when I realized that he kind of got handed his soulmate on a silver fish shaped platter.
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Just a sweet little filler of fluff, some realizations from the girls about their mom, and then... almost a teaser about Aubrey's relationships. Obviously, that is gonna be fun to figure out and dive into :D
Also, quick note, I haven't done a face-claim for these stories, so if you want one (for the OCs, not for any of the HP characters) please let me know!
I'm sorry if updates continue being infrequent, life is kind of hitting me like a bus a little bit, so I don't have a lot of time or mental energy to write.
Thank you for all the love and support,
<3