SIDHARTH
Everything was fucking awesome in my life from the past month, reason well let it remain a mystery for now. Never in my dreams I thought that just being in someone's presence could actually make me feel the emotions I have been trying to supress from past many years now, just a smile could bring my wounded heart back to life but nothing works in my favour I guess, it's been two days I have been frustrated from myself I believe.
It's been two days she has been behaving in a strange way, Not that she has started ignoring me like initial days but still it was a kind of ignorance for me, she has been talking only about work as if she was in a desperate need to be away from me, as if I was affecting her the same way she has been affecting me, True to what I just said I don't know when and why but I feel like I could read whatever was going on in her, as if I could read her soul. Something was bothering her for sure and she was not opening up, actually how could she it has been around a month and a few days from when we met and about a month we started gelling up with each other,and it's definitely not enough time for her to open up but I could feel something was affecting her badly.
Mr.Srivastav, these are the files you asked for in the morning, I think I am done with all the work for today and I must leave Aahnik is waiting downstairs, she said and I smiled hearing the mention of Aahnik but sighed on the tone she was using, I was again Mr. Srivastav from Sidharth, it hurts but why?
Umm Shehnaaz, I spoke hesitantly not wanting to get an outburst I was sensing from two days.
Yes Mr.Srivastav, she spoke still facing towards the door.
I need to talk Shehnaaz, I said finally walking close to where she was standing.
You can speak Mr. Srivastav I am all ears, she spoke clutching the files in her hand together.
Stop it Shehnaaz, aisa kya ho gaya that you are behaving so coldly with me, what have I done baby, I said in anger but my tone softened seeing tears in her eyes
I stepped closer to her but she stepped backwards and I felt a sinking feeling in my heart, I felt kind of disgusted with myself that maybe I have crossed my limits but seeing her in tears I couldn't take it in myself to leave her in this agony, that could burn her within.
Please Stay away Mr. Srivastav I guess I have done my work for today, she said.
Hua kya hai dammit, why am I again Mr. Srivastav from Sidharth, I shouted not able to take it anymore.
She flinched at the tone but kept her stance and decided to speak nothing.
I must leave, Aahnik must be waiting, she said coldly as if suddenly I don't even exist.
Picking up the handset on the table and blocking her between me and the table so that she doesn't escape today before answering I dialled Parth
Parth just check downstairs, Aahnik a kid of 6 must be waiting downstairs, get him in the office and spend time with him till the time I come to pick him up, I asked and was about to cut the call when he spoke something.
Sir but I'm doing something right now, he said.
I didn't asked Parth, you are supposed to do it now, and I repeat take care of him till I come to pick him up, I said in a no more argument tone
Akela hoga? He asked.
Give me a second, I said before muting the call and turning my attention towards Shehnaaz who was looking at me with agony now, but I guess I could take it only because if I don't it will take her peace.
Is Aahnik alone? I asked her inspite of knowing he might be with Sanchi because if he would have been alone downstairs, she might not be here glaring me.
I don't think it should matter, she spoke.
I am done for today Shehnaaz, don't test my patience, I spoke sternly
Sanchi hai, she spoke softer this time.
Fine I said and was about to unmute the phone when she stopped me saying
Let it be Mr. Srivastav, I will, ask Sanchi to take him home, she spoke and dialled Sanchi before even waiting for a reply.
Haan Sanchi ek kaam kar ghar chali jaa, Arey nhi kya hoga mujhe, haan bas kisi kaam main busy hoon, kitna late hoga ye toh kaam par depend karta hai, haan baba aa jaungi khud chal ok, she said everything right staring at me, and I wanted to laugh at how serious yet cute this situation was.
Haan Parth, I started to speak but he was ready to interrupt.
Sir yahan toh koi uss bache ko kahin le jaa raha hai, and she is so so..... bea..... badtameez I mean, just look at the way she speaks....... Angrez kahin ki yahan India main kyun aayi hai... She isn't ready to listen even, he kept on ranting and I laughed my heart out.
Sir, he whined from the other side and I tried controlling my laughter after seeing Shehnaaz glaring me.
Parth let it be, you go back do your work or actually leave aaj ke liye kaafi hai, I said.
Sir are you sure this time, he inquired and I sighed.
I'm, now leave and tell everyone else to leave too, I said.
So now tell me Ms. Singhania dikkat kya hai, I asked looking at her intently. She was so pure, so beautiful that I felt all my dead emotions waking up after seeing her.
I don't need to, she spoke curtly and I felt my insides being churned in a positive way this time, as if her outburst would be a way for a new beginning, not for us because till now us don't exist, neither I want us to exist ever because this is wrong, she is married has a son, and yet again I'm here trying my luck to it's best so that atleast I could get an outburst if not a simple talk so that only she could feel better, is it only this? No, my heart replied and I stopped before it goes in a lane I couldn't bring myself back from.
Fine then, I said calmly and locked the door with the remote and sat on my chair engaging myself in some work.
What the hell! I'm not your puppet Sidharth, you can't be forcing me to get out the truth from me, she shouted and I smiled.
I never spoke about Truth Sweetheart, it's you who spoke it just now, so now c'mon tell what's bothering you, I spoke as calm as I could because I don't want to be angry, this one month has made me realise she is the most jolly person one could meet only if she is considering you as your own, she is a great individual and also a great mother, the way she has brought up Aahnik proves what values she has. This one month of our friendship has brought me to a conclusion that she is what I need, that's a different fact that I don't want to believe it.
Kyun kar rahe ho Sidharth, kya kiya hai maine, she spoke vulnerable this time and I stood up from where I was, and hugged her tightly so that she could let it free and she did, I could feel she didn't hugged me back but that doesn't mean I would stop myself from soothing her, she was scaring me now as I could feel my shirt being wet but there was no sound.
Baby, I cooed while caressing her hairs.
Sweetheart kya hua? I asked when I found her extremely quiet.
This is wrong Sidharth, she spoke hugging me now.
What's wrong Shehnaaz? I asked looking directly in her eyes
This.... She said pointing to the position we were in, I was about to interrupt but she gestured me to be quiet.
Yeh jo humare beech main hai, I know it's no where close to love but whatever it is it's not right, you know Aahnik has got so attached to you dar lagta hai, ye sochkar ki agar usne kuch aisa maanga joh tumse related ho, Aadia se related ho kya karungi main, dar lagta hai ye soch kar ki whatever I feel when you are around is not right yet I can't keep myself in control, pta hai galat hoon, tumhari life hai khudki bhi ek, jisme tumhari beti biwi family sab honge yet I feel connected Sidharth batao kya karoon, professionally baat tum karne nhi dete personal level par baat mujhse hogi nhi, what should I do dammit, she spoke and broke down right there in my arms sobbing loudly this time, and I held her as close to me as possible, I know this is wrong so wrong but I doesn't feel this is wrong, it's as if this is what her true place in my arms if not as a lover as a friend though, I know this is quite contradicting but what to do....
I felt myself stumbling with the intensity she just said all that was there in her heart, as if she was just speaking what my heart has accepted in this month but my mind was not ready to believe it.
Shehnaaz, hua kya hai sweetheart sab sahi tha na achanak aise kyun kar rahi ho, I asked wiping her tears when she was a little stable, my back was touching the wall and she was just squeezed in my chest.
Sab sahi tha Sidharth,do you know what tha means,sab sahi tha ab nhi hai, I know I'm being irrational at present but it pains, like a stabbing pain and I don't even know why am I sharing it with you, I hardly know you, she spoke but I chose to ignore it, mere case main it hardly matters how much is the time I know you what matters is how special the person in front is to me, and after a lot of debate with my mind I could finally say she is so special for me even if it's just as a friend. I should stop her from continuing further right but then the reason would not come out for her behaving this way, I think I should let her speak whatever is there in her heart.
I think I should quit this job Sidharth, I can't handle these feelings, you have a whole family to take care Sidharth, I don't want to be someone to break a happy home, she cried.
Have you lost it Shehnaaz, job kyun chodni hai and when did you broke someone home, I tried controlling my anger but she brings the best out of me, be it in care or even in the case of anger.
I can't break one more home Sidharth, do you even know what pain I have to go through when I actually hear all those taunts, I can't break your and Nimisha's home, I should leave chodo mujhe.... She spoke crying and I looked at her shocked, Nimisha? From where does she came in between, and ek aur ghar matlab? Taunts matlab? What was she even talking about right now.
Shehnaaz.... I tried controlling my anger...
Chodo Sidharth leave me dammit, she tried coming out of my hold but I won't, she can't decide from both our sides.
Nhi, calm down first I said hugging her closer to me if that's even possible.
She cried and I could just let her, that's a gut wrenching pain I was experiencing why I don't know, who was she to me? Practically no one just a acquaintance I hardly know but if thinking emotionally she is someone as close as my own family to me.
When her cries died to a significant amount I knew I could actually talk to her on a factual basis now.
Hogaya, I asked sternly finally breaking the hug and wiping her tears.
Bure ho tum, she replied pouting and I knew at this point no one could matter more than her happiness to me.
What have I done baby, I asked smiling widely this time.
Kuch nhi, I'm sorry meri vajah se aapki shirt, she said pointing towards the wet shirt I was wearing all thanks to her.
Bola kya maine kuch, aur kya haan kabhi Mr. Srivastav kabhi aap kabhi tu, chahti kya hai baby tu, I asked teasingly.
Toh Aap bhi toh Kabhi Shehnaaz, kabhi sweetheart kabhi baby kehte hai, ek cheez decide kyun nhi karte she said and then widened her eyes realising she is acknowledging each of the words I used for her.
Tumhe lagta hai Mujhe farak nhi padhta hai Shehnaaz, when you chose to ignore me on a nonsense reason just like this? I asked carefully not wanting to break her more but this definitely took her off guard.
Which reason? She whispered.
You read some nonsense about Me and Nimisha right, I asked emotionally lost because this was never a topic I liked to discuss.
Marriage is not nonsense Sidharth, the most sensible thing it is, whatever I just read made me realise this is not right, you have a family Sidharth, a wife to take care a daughter who is totally dependent on you, I don't want reason for another broken home she spoke.
Do you even know about Nimisha Shehnaaz, itna sab padha hi hai past ka toh ek baar mera marital status bhi dekh leti dammit, and about you being a home breaker trust me you are not Shehnaaz, I spoke looking at her eyes directly.
You know nothing Sidharth, and one second marital status dekh kar hota kya, you are married right, she whispered.
Even if I'm how does it matter sweetheart, you are not my lover that you fucking care about all This, dosti toh shaadi shuda insaan se bhi kar sakte hai, I replied only to see a reaction but why was I expecting a reaction is a new thing for me.
Right, she whispered before finally composing herself.
Here is the new update.
I hope it was worth reading.
It's not complete but the next part I wanted in shehnaaz's Pov so here I am with a new update.
Touch the star button at the end.
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