Edric: Emira?
Emira: what?
Edric: you kicked me in your sleep!
Emira: who said I was asleep?
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: so, are you a big spoon or a little spoon?
Hunter: I'm a knife
Edric from the other room: he's a little spoon
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: I hate the way you pack my lunch
Camilla: maybe you should pack your own lunch!
Luz: *packs 32 Oreos*
Camilla: maybe I should pack your lunch
———————————————-———————————————-
Young Eda: am I in trouble?
Young Lilith: have a guess
Young Eda: no?
Young Lilith: have another guess
———————————————-———————————————-
Amity: I sent Hunter a get better soon card
Willow: that's surprisingly nice of you
Amity: he wasn't sick I just thought he should do better
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: *accidentally bumps into door*
Amity: are you okay?
Luz: I'm fine
Amity, talking to the door: you stand in Luz's way one more time and I'll make sure to take you down
———————————————-———————————————-
Hunter: how tall are you
Gus: height is a social construct
Hunter: so you're short
———————————————-———————————————-
Hunter: I don't think Amity likes me
Luz: oh? What did she say?
Hunter: that she doesn't like me
———————————————-———————————————-
over the phone
Amity: I put a little note in your bag telling you I love you
Luz: *opens bag* Amity, this is a 10-page letter
———————————————-———————————————-
Willow: hey, are you single?
Boscha: yes I am
Willow: *takes away the extra chair in front of her* thanks
———————————————-———————————————-
Witch Twitter: type your password
Edric: your password
Witch Twitter: your password is incorrect
Edric: wtf?
Witch Twitter: try again
Edric: Again
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: what do you do when you see someone gorgeous?
Eda: I stare
Eda: I smile
Eda: and then I put the mirror down
———————————————-———————————————-
Amity: I hate seeing you like this
Hunter: like how?
Amity: in person
———————————————-———————————————-
Hunter: what are you gunna do, stab me?
Amity: *stabs*
Hunter: I shouldn't have asked
———————————————-———————————————-
Lilith: why did you give Luz a knife?!
Eda: she felt unsafe
Lilith: now I feel unsafe!
Eda: sorry
Eda: ...do you want a knife?
———————————————-———————————————-
*The squad right before Amity's wedding*
Hunter: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Luz: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
Eda: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
Gus: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Willow, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE
———————————————-———————————————-
Amity: We need to distract these guys
Hunter: Leave it to me
Hunter: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Luz, Eda, and Gus: *Immediately begin arguing*
Willow, watching in horror: Oh this. I don't like this. I don't like this at all.
———————————————-———————————————-
Eda, going over Hunter's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you're creative.
Hunter: Yes
Eda: Okay... may I know what you create?
Hunter: Problems.
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: You often use humor to deflect trauma
Amity: Thank you
Luz: I didn't say that was a good thing
Amity: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: How petty can you get?
Amity: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: So are we flirting right now?
Early S1 Amity: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU
Luz: That doesn't answer my question
———————————————-———————————————-
Eda: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?
Amity: Oh, I'm always running
Amity: The question is from what
———————————————-———————————————-
Hunter: *Accidentally hits Edric in the face*
Hunter: *Trying to decide between saying 'I'm fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
Hunter: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
Edric: What's wrong with you?!
———————————————-———————————————-
Hunter: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine
Hunter: i became more evil if you're curious
Edric: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!
Hunter: i'm going to get worse on purpose
———————————————-———————————————-
Edric: How do I deal with my enemies?
Hunter: Kill them
Edric: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution
Hunter: Kill them only a little?
———————————————-———————————————-
Hunter: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
Luz: Twelve, actually.
Hunter: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?
Luz: Yours!
Hunter: That's right: no one's.
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: Welcome, fellow idiots
King: Hello, Luz
Luz: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
King: You underestimate me
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: Okay, help me please!
King: Got two words for you.
Luz: I bet they won't be helpful.
King: Your problem.
Luz: I was right
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Amity: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Eda: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Hunter: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Willow: My moral code, is that you?
Luz:
Luz: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: That's it, we're gonna go out and find what we need!
Eda: To the human realm?
Luz: Yeah, no matter what!
Hunter: Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?
Luz: I... I don't know!
King: Oh come off it, be serious!
Luz: I am serious!
King: You're insane!
Hooty: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!
Everyone:
Luz: What???
Hooty: Or maybe it was a basset hound!
King, panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!
———————————————-———————————————-
Eda, driving Luz and Hunter: So how was your day?
Luz: We almost got surprise adopted!
Eda: What?
Hunter: We almost got kidnapped.
Eda: Oh, okay.
Eda: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!
———————————————-———————————————-
Amity: How's the sexiest person here~?
Luz: I don't know, how is she~?
Amity, flustered: I-
Hunter, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!
———————————————-———————————————-
Emira: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Edric: The car takes a screenshot.
Amity: For the last time, get the fuck out.
———————————————-———————————————-
Edric: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Amity: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Emira: Smad.
———————————————-———————————————-
Edric: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?
Amity: How am I supposed to know?
Emira: You say, as if we don't use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.
Amity: *sighs*
Amity: You wouldn't be trapped.
———————————————-———————————————-
Edric: HELP! I TOLD EMIRA I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!
Amity, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?
———————————————-———————————————-
Emira: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Edric: The cow???
Amity: What?
Emira: Edric, W H Y?
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: I was thinking I'd do some magic-
Amity: You? Magic? Luz, it says WITCH convention.
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing. Everything is going to be fine!
Amity: How can you still say that?
Luz: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: A theif.
Amity: Thief?
Luz: Theif.
Amity: I before E, except after C.
Luz: Thceif.
Amity: No.
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Amity: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Willow: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Gus: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Boscha: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Hunter:
Hunter: I have emotional scars.
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: Hewwo.
Amity: Hihiiiiii!
Willow: Greetings, living beings.
Hunter: Three kinds of people.
Gus: I want pudding.
Luz: Four kinds of people.
Boscha: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?
Hunter: Five kinds of people.
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: Amity... How do I begin to explain Amity?
Willow: Amity is flawless.
Gus: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Hunter: I hear she does car commercials... in the human realm.
Random Person Overhearing: One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.
———————————————-———————————————-
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Eda: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Luz: ...I did. I broke it.
Eda: No. No you didn't. Willow?
Edric: Don't look at me. Look at Gus.
Amity: What?! I didn't break it.
Edric: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Amity: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Edric: Suspicious.
Amity: No, it's not!
Hunter: If it matters, probably not, but Boscha was the last one to use it.
Boscha: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Hunter: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Boscha: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Hunter!
Luz: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Eda.
Eda: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Hunter: Eda... Willow's been awfully quiet.
Willow: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Eda, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Eda: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Eda:
Eda: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: Time for plan G.
Amity: Don't you mean plan B?
Luz: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Willow: What about plan D?
Luz: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Gus: What about plan E?
Luz: I'm hoping not to use it. Hunter dies in plan E.
Boscha: I like plan E.
———————————————-———————————————-
*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you'*
Luz: Thanks fam!
Amity: oh no
Willow: *cries* I love you too
Gus: Sounds fake but okay
Hunter: *A flustered mess*
Boscha: can i get a refund
———————————————-———————————————-
Luz: I CAN'T DO IT!
Amity, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Luz: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Willow: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Luz:
Luz: I appreciate it,
Luz: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Gus: Luz-
Luz: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Hunter: Luz we gotta-
Luz: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Luz: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Luz, motioning to Boscha: NOT FUCKING THIS