Amity: why is Eda crying on the floor?
Luz: she's drunk
Amity: and?
Luz: she saw a picture of Raine's girlfriend
Amity: .... but she's Raine's girlfriend-
Luz: I know.
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Amity, talking to Luz: Um...would you like to stay for dinner?
Ed and Em popping up behind her: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?
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Willow: is that your hand on my ass?
Boscha: it was an accident
Willow: it's still there
Boscha: it's still an accident
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Young Eda: can you pass the pepper?
Young Lilith: what's the magic word?
Young Eda:
Young Eda: *begins chanting in Latin*
Young Lilith, panicking: JUST TAKE IT OH MY GOD
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Gus: not all dogs are "good boys"
Luz: *slowly grabbing a pitchfork*
Gus: because some are good girls!
Luz: *giggling, putting the pitchfork away*
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Luz: *looks up at the stars*
Amity: what are you doing?
Luz: naming the stars after people I love
Amity: do I get a star?
Luz: you get the sun
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Young Lilith: I'm getting a call from Dad
Young Eda: I'll act natural
Young Lilith: you're not going to be on the phone *picks up* hi Dad
Young Eda, shouting by the phone: WHAT DELICIOUS WATER I'M DRINKING!
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Eda: you're acting like a child, King
King: I'M NOT ACTING!
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Darius: aw how cute, the owl lady as come to save her lovebug
Raine: I am not her lovebug!
Eda: we'll come back to that
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Luz: can we go to a haunted house this year?
Eda: what's wrong with the one we live in?
King: Wait—WHAT?
Eda: goodnight :)
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Boscha: I love you
Willow: wrong number
Boscha: you're sitting right here
Willow: wrong address
Boscha: Wait, wha—
Willow: Leave a message after the tone. Beep.
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Amity: thanks of the help
Ed & Em: how are we helping you?
Amity: well, you're helping me out by being horrible and making me look better
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Hunter: Edric, you're a genius!
Edric: yeah, I get called that a lot
Hunter: what? A genius?
Edric: no, Edric
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Eda: for all these years, I've done the best I could to raise you two
Eda: have I been perfect? No
Eda: Do I know anything about children? No
Eda: should I have picked up a book on parenting? Probably
King & Luz:
Eda: where was I going with this? I had a point-
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Lilith: how are we supposed to defeat Emperor Belos?
Eda: I'm not supposed to be the one with ideas. I'm the hot one.
Lilith: I'm pretty sure I'm the hot one
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Lilith: did you just refer to a knife as a 'people opener'
Eda: Should I not have?
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Amity: did you read my diary?
Emira: at first, we did not know it was your diary
Edric: we thought it was a very sad, handwritten book
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Hunter: I don't have the energy for this
Luz: for what?
Hunter: *gestures vaguely*
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Luz: I have the urge to do something stupid
Amity: *mutters* if I was stupid, would she do me?
Everyone: ...
Amity: uh, I mean...you must want to...do yourself....because you sure are something stupid!
Eda, in the background: that was a smooth as sandpaper
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Luz: if I were a drink I'd be a cherry Vanilla Coke. If you were a drink what would you be?
Amity: bleach
Hunter: sewage
Luz: please calm down edgelords
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Eda: where's Hunter?
King: doing stuff
Eda: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Luz?
King: trying to stop Hunter from doing the stuff
Eda: and Amity?
King: trying to Luz from stopping Hunter from doing the stuff
Eda: I see. And what are you doing here, King?
King: I'm supposed to be stopping you from stopping Amity from stopping Luz from stopping Hunter from doing the stuff
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Eda: Your homework for tonight is to become SO good at counting. Don't let me down, please.
King: 1
Luz: 2
Hunter: 3
Hooty: 4
Eda: W
Lilith, biting back tears: you always screw everything up for me...I was so patient with you at first because I thought you were just a stupid moron, but I can tell you get the statistic pleasure for trying to stop my personal progress. Well, not anymore!
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Luz: I guess I'm just too tough to cry
Eda: yesterday you were crying about snakes
Luz, sobbing: thEy doN't hAvE anY ArMs!
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Beta Luz: last Christmas, I asked for the sexist person alive. I woke up in a box.
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Hunter: here's a fun Christmas idea. We'll hang Mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it
Luz: we are not doing that
Eda, singing: mistlefoe!
Luz: GUYS NO-
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Amity: hello Luz marry me
Amity: haha I meant merry Christmas stupid autocorrect
Luz: this is a verbal conversation
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Luz: are you okay?
Hunter: yeah I'm fine
Luz: what does 'fine' mean?
Hunter: it means I'm perfectly content but also wouldn't mind if the sun exploded right now and killed us all
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Luz: hey wanna hear a joke
Hunter: I'm more into dark humor
Luz: *turns the light off* so the joke is-
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Luz, bursting through the door: guys!
Amity: what?
Luz: if watermelons exist, why aren't there firemelons, earthmelons, and airmelons?
Gus: the three elemelons
Everyone except Gus and Luz: *gets up and walks out of the room*
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Amity: you look nice, I want to kiss you
Luz: what?
Amity: I SAID IF YOU DIED I WOULDN'T MISS YOU!