(tw: gun, violence, guns, alcohol, and mentions of drugs.)
_________
9 years ago...
"Catch, Celeste!" Rafe calls out from behind me, tossing a tennis ball in my direction.
I roll my eyes. "Rafe, not now! My dad wants me to water the plants."
He sighs in disappointment as I throw the ball back to him. "But I want to play."
"Come help me with watering the plants then, and then maybe my dad will let us play." I say matter-of-factly, turning back to the fresh tomatoes on my front lawn.
"Ok!" He says without hesitation, joining me with a watering can.
Once we're done, I drop my gloves onto the ground and dust off my hands. "Okay, let me go in and ask my dad if we can hang out."
I walk into the house and find dad laying on our couch, bottles of beer splayed around him. I sigh and approach him. This situation has happened one too many times that I already know the drill. I lay a blanket softly over him, trying not to look at the sores from injecting all those drugs.
After cleaning up all the bottles and cigarettes, I join Rafe outside on the front porch. He looks at me with eager dark brown eyes.
"So?" He asks.
But when he sees the sullen look on my face his expression changes from expectant to worry.
"What's wrong?"
I blink away tears and attempt to smile. "My dad is passed out, but it'll be okay. Let's play."
Without saying a word, Rafe encloses me in a tight bear hug. I hold him and bury my face into his chest, cherishing this moment, not knowing that this would be my last moment like this with Rafe in a very long time.
Because the next day, we became strangers. Not a single word was spoken, not a single glance was exchanged. It was like an instantaneous switch. No matter whether it was at school or not, he would ignore me. He was never at his house. All the connections that we had before were gone. And I had no idea why.
I wondered back then what I had done wrong to screw up our friendship like this. But even after all these years, I still have no clue.
___________
Present day...
"This is going to be the best bonfire yet!" JJ shouts, playing around with the gun that he got from that dead guy's hotel room.
It's been a day or so since we found that Grady-White sunken in the water of the marsh. Pope made us vow not to tell anyone that we saw it, but I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that the guy who owned it died.
Kie snatches it from him with a huff. "Not with the Kooks there. And stop playing with this, you're going to seriously hurt someone."
"Party pooper." JJ grumbles under his breath.
"What?" Kie exclaims.
"Nothing! Nothing!" JJ says, holding his hands up in defense.
I snicker. JJ turns to me with a grin. "What?? She wasn't supposed to hear that!"
I laugh along with the others at his stupidity.
"By the way, C, you're going to be there right?" John B asks.
I toss my wavy blonde hair over my shoulder. "Yeah, if my junkie dad doesn't make me do chores all night."
Pope claps his hands. "Sooo, you're coming! It's settled."
I smile, raising a White Claw to my lips and sipping. "Knew you were gonna do that. Alright, let's go."
JJ whoops, swinging his legs over the fence of John B's front porch and landing on the grass dramatically. Everyone else follows suit, leaving me alone on the porch to lock the door.
"Forget the door! Get your ass over here!" JJ yells, gesturing me over.
I laugh. "You sick bastards." I hop over and we take off into the sunset.
Seeing those Kooks in their silly little golf outfits immediately sends me into a sour mood. And it seems to be the case for the rest of our group. JJ and Kie death glare at them as a duo, and John B is staring at Sarah Cameron with her boyfriend, Topper.
If I didn't know better, I would say that John B has a little crush. But I know better. Right?
I look back at the mansions that line the beach and a certain someone catches my eye. Rafe Cameron. His blonde hair is in a messy middle part, his hangs hanging over his forehead. And you can't forget that signature Kook golf shirt. It's like every Kook automatically has one of those god forsaken shirts.
But I can't help but let my gaze linger on him for a moment too long. His body is chiseled underneath the shirt that he wears, ripples of abs showing through the fabric. His jawline could cut a rock with how sharp it is, and his pink lips look so soft.
He looks over in my direction and I whip my head around, hoping he doesn't see me. I feel his intense stare on my back. Shivers make their way up my neck.
Pope nudges me. "What's up?"
"Nothing." I shake my head. "C'mon guys, let's go have fun."
I grab a drink and make my way to the beach with my friends. Soon, one drink becomes two, and two become three. And now, I'm pretty damn drunk.
I can't walk in a straight line, and crash headfirst into John B, who catches me in his arms.
"Oh! Sorry." I pat his chest. "I may have drunk one too many beers."
He chortles. "You should probably go sit down and sober up."
I nod. "Yes. I should."
I go to the logs that sit at the edge of the sand and plop down. I see someone sit next to me out of the corner of my eye, but my eyesight is too blurry to know who it is. It's only until he speaks that I know exactly who he is.
"Hey." Rafe says, a bottle of beer in his hand.
Fuck.
I glare at him with the intensity of a thousand suns. Why, after all these years, does he want to speak to me now?
"The fuck do you want?" I snap.
"Woah, slow down. You're really drunk." He says, sloshing the beer around sloppily. What a hypocrite; he's just as drunk as I am.
I snicker sarcastically. "I don't need to be drunk to know that I don't want shit to do with you."
A tantalizing smirk plays on his lips. "Wow, I see how it is, C."
My eyes zero in on that smile. Is it just me, or is his crooked smile up close kind of attractive? I'm just drunk, batting the thought away as quickly as it came.
A surge of anger courses through me. "Why are you talking to me anyways, Rafe? Don't you have some other... Kook shit to do?" My voice raises as I get angrier. People's heads turn.
"Fuck, Celeste." He grabs my arm harshly and drags me farther away from other people. He leads me behind a small abandoned cabin behind the beach, where no one is. Though I'm drunk out of my mind, my danger alarm doesn't fail to go off.
"Get the fuck off of me." I spit, yanking my arm from his grasp.
I see a flicker of anger in his dark eyes, and he breathes harshly to calm down.
"Don't be like that, Celeste." He says finally, running his fingers through his hair.
I try not to focus on the fact that we're now like 4 inches apart, and more on the fact that I'm still mad at him.
"Be like what?!? You ignore me for years, and now all of a sudden you're talking to me like nothing happened?" My voice is raising significantly, but I don't care. "I have a perfectly good reason to be acting like thi-"
I'm cut off as his large hand covers my mouth firmly. My eyes widen at the look of anger on Rafe's face; it's as if he wants to tear me apart.
Which I wouldn't complain about... I think impulsively, immediately regretting that it even crossed my mind.
His hand slowly lifts off my face, and he looks around to make sure that no one has heard.
But I am now acutely aware of how close we are. His face is pretty much an inch away from mine, so close that I can see every detail of his stupid face. So close that if I just moved a millimeter closer... my lips brush against his.
He retaliates, surprise etched across his entire face. Everything goes still, and I prepare for him to unleash hell.
But the exact opposite happens next. He grabs me roughly by my neck with one hand and clashes his lips onto mine with a hunger that I've never seen before from him. I'm only taken aback for a second before my drunken ass melts into the kiss and I run my hands through his thick hair.
"Fuck.." He groans against my lips, which sends butterflies flying every-which-way in my stomach.
One of his hands is pushing my waist into his, the other is around my neck, controlling my every move. My lips part for his tongue to slip in, teasing a whimper out of me.
Oh my god, I did not just make that sound.
It seems to satisfy Rafe, because I feel him smirk against my mouth.
"You like that, huh?" He mumbles, his hot breath fanning over my lips.
Don't say that Rafe, you know what you're doing.
Just then, a scream rings out from the direction of the party. Rafe stops abruptly and I crane my neck to hear what's going on, trying to distract my brain from the fact that his hand is still gripped tightly around my neck.
"Gun!" Someone calls.
Oh god. I realize, blood draining from my face. JJ's gun.
I push Rafe off me in a drunken panic and sprint as fast as I can to the commotion. The cold wind bites at my face, and I feel myself sober up. I shove away a gathering crowd and see Kie, Pope, and Sarah standing at shore.
"What's happening?" I ask. I look at the shore, where JJ has a gun pointed at Topper's head. It takes me a while to see John B face down in the dark depths of the water.
"John B!" I shout in horror.
Topper raises his hands, letting go of John B.
Sarah runs her hands over her face. "Kie! Can you check your psycho friend, please?"
"Bitch, your boyfriend just fucking tried to drown John B!!" I shout back in disbelief.
JJ raises the gun above his head in triumph, causing people to scatter away from him.
"Okay everyone, listen up! Get the hell off our side of the island!" JJ yells, shooting into the air, sending swarms of people scattering everywhere.
I look to John B, who has fallen back into the water. I rush up to him and call for the others to help him up.
I shove JJ with my free arm. "We'll deal with you later." I snarl.
With the help of the others, we lift John B out of the water and back to his house, where we let him rest.
_________
It's 3 am, and the rest of the Pogues are sleeping in the house. After literally nearly getting drowned, John B is knocked out in his room. Poor guy.
I'm sitting outside in the chilly night, smoking. My mind is still reeling from what just happened.
I remember everything that happened while I was drunk, though it remains a bit fuzzy. I wish I had been fully blacked out, because remembering means that I wasn't even fully drunk. I can't believe I did that with Rafe. Of all people, Rafe Cameron. Fuck.
It was foolish of me. Spontaneous, even. Sober me would never, ever make that choice.
It will never happen in the future.