Author's Note
From your writer what who's going to college and running on self motivation, things might feel slow and shit, no doubt feeling like it is.
I asked this in one my previous chapters. Truly don't know where this story is going, whatever will make you all the happiest. Might go a full on enemies to lovers arc for Reader and Kenma and just make them get back together after 30+ or so chapters, maybe?
Enjoy the crack with plot.
Y/n's POV
We're spying on Gennai, following after him and Miya Atsumu.
Wait we? There's no we in this?... Or is there? You can half ass say there is a we when eyeing Kenma who's following from behind you.
You're both sitting on a silver tabled, intricate with glass like serials. Currently in a popular coffee shop.
You have a beautifully gold intricate with white porcelain tea cup cupped into your palm, filled with sugared coffee while Kenma has an apple themed dessert set in front of him, slowly scooping small pieces of it into his mouth.
"Did we ever get that order from Onigiri Miya?" You ponder aloud. It's been on your mind since yesterday. You want to take your phone out of your pocket to text the group chat, see if they did get the order but you're too lazy to actually take it out to type the question.
"Is this what you do with your spare time?" Kenma asks earnestly, his head tilting, the long tresses of his hair following with him.
He still has the blonde frosted tips he did in high school, and he's pulled it back into a simple tied bun, multiple stray hairs brushed onto his shoulders. The male unbothered to fix it back into a neat bun.
You could never pull that off. Always gotta either be beautifully messy or simply neat looking. Ya just can't pull off the natural beautiful messy look.
"We've been following them for the last thirty minutes. All they've done is gotten coffee and talk." The blonde tipped male complains, voice dry and soft.
"If you were just going to complain like this then maybe you should've just shut up and left like you did back in high school..." it's petty. But it's true.
Kenma grows rigid immediately in his black hoodie. He doesn't reply.
As he should.
But the silence has gotten awkward between you both.
"I don't particularly spend my days like this." You state. "But it's not like I have anything else to do with my time. If it weren't for them I wouldn't be anywhere else."
"Uhhhh," Kenma pauses. Head tilting, he's interested, inclined to learn more but he's never been good with things like this.
Not that this is exactly normal.
"When we broke it off I didn't have anything set in my future, that's kinda scary y'know?"
"But I found them and it's like that path set itself forward."
"I wouldn't choose to be anywhere else but with them."
You're telling him all this.
... why? Maybe a part of you wants him to know how much it hurt. To make him feel bad for it. Sweet revenge, but it doesn't feel so fulfilling when he's a successful CEO of his own company and you're off living the life with your friends.
Just, why is he happy now? Why did he decide he needed you now when he has more compared to back then when he had less.
A silence settles between you both again. Except it feels less awkward and more anticipated. You're awaiting a response that may never come.
"Plus Kuroo, it really hurt when he was okay with her. Like, was I not his friend too? Haha." You laugh off at the end, dragging a sugar cube from the side of the teacup into the still warm drink.
It's still quiet. This was a mistake.
You straighten your back, pushing the teacup away from you.
"Even though we already talked back at my apartment the other day." Kenma begins, voice calmer.
"I feel as if I didn't do it correctly. So I'll say it again," he intakes a short breathe and exhales.
"I'm sorry... You deserve a proper apology more than anything..." The long tiny, silver spoon is laid to the side of the apple dessert dish while his hands remains hidden in his lap.
"You have every right to be angry, and sad, and upset. If you still want to be upset at me, and shove it in my face every time we speak, that's fine."
"If it helps, you can tell me how it all felt. I want to hear how much it hurt you, how I hurt you. I want you to tell me how I wronged you, and how I should've been better."
Holy shit are you a masochist?
"I just want to make things better for you." Kenma tilts his head away from your gaze.
"I—"
"Are you doing this because you feel bad?... or because you really do want..." oh, how do you say this?
"Because you really want me?" It's cringe. But that's the only way you can explain it.
The other looks up to you, opening his mouth, voice lost, then closes it. He leans back into the chair.
"I don't know..." he answers unsurely. "But I know looking back on our memories, I did enjoy the times we spent together."
"I just want to sincerely know how you feel." He adds.
You're at a lost for words. Mouth gaping open, but then closing.
You don't know what to do.
You go to your friends for everything. What should you say to Kenma next? How do you decide on what to do next? The life with your friends are nice, it's good, it's good natured fun but nothing good lasts forever.
Eventually they'll have their own paths to take and you guys can stay together forever. You can't be dependent on them forever.
But you don't want to use Kenma as a second choice.
It's well deserved but it's not worth it. Not actually unless it's enjoyable being with him.
"I'll talk to Kuroo about what he did." Kenma's soft trill knocks you out of your head.
"No." You contrast. No, that's embarrassing. Imagine telling someone you feel wronged because they did something wrong to you five to nine years ago.
"Why?" He questions.
"It's... stupid." You reply, as if it's clear as day.
"You know Y/n, I wish you were more real and honest with me. Even back in the day you liked to keep feelings in and that really built up and broke us down."
"What do you mean? I am honest." You claim.
"Mhm." He hums, unbelieving.
"What? I am!" You combat, taking a drink from the rim of the pretty tea cup.
"Maybe you think you are, but there are just some things you aren't real with towards people around you and that really puts a divide between you and them." Kenma informs.
Is that true?
You can't respond.
You couldn't care less about Gennai or Miya anymore.
Are you a part of the reason why you always feel like a third wheel in life?
"I hate it when you make me question myself..." you frown.
"Gotta do my job." He blissfully replies, mouth stuffed with cream.
"Here, try some." He extends out the spoon, a small piece of cream, apple and cake on the end. "It's good and I can't finish it all."
"Wow, you're actually sharing with me?" The sarcastic response inhibits him to roll his eyes.
"It's not likes it's apple pie so whatever."
You take the invite, and lean forward to take, slipping off the spoon you lean back into your seat and allow the sweetness to sink into your taste buds.
"Wow that's really good."
"Right?" He agrees with a tiny smile.
There's a ding coming from the hoodie, probably from his phone. Kenma fishes the device from his clothing and looks at the bright screen.
"I've got to go now. Got a three hour Minecraft stream to do." He thoughtlessly comments, pushing back his chair and standing up.
"You've probably got your next match this evening too, good luck."
The male fishes out 5000 yen from his wallet and places it onto the table. "This should be enough to pay everything and tip. You can have the rest if you want to." He pushes the remaining left overs the apple cake dessert to you.
He turns back and walks off. Without another second glance.
Is this some sort of new law of attraction tactic?
Besides that.
You feel more comfortable with Kenma than you have ever before.