Deep In The Closet
Remus: Yk how I always set boundaries in dating someone
Emmeline: ofc
Remus: im trying my hardest to stick to my own boundaries, they stayed last night bc we didn't realise the time and they woke me up with waffles
Benjy: you're so lucky
Benjy: I get woken up by my next door neighbours having sex
Barty: you all make me laugh, I get woken up by Regulus pushing me out of bed bc my 'invitation' has expired
Dorcas: LMAOAOAOAOA SHES SO COOL ISTG
Emmeline: she's a bit rude sometimes
Dorcas: shut up
Remus: do you just live at her house now?
Barty: basically, yeah
Emmeline: how did your date go, Remus?
Remus: It was lovely!
Benjy: we're glad. *throws phone off wall*
Remus: you annoy me, let me be happy
Benjy: I am letting you be happy, I'm just also very fucking mad that you landed that human
Frank: I couldn't breathe last night lol
Alice: it's not funny
Frank: it is when I had a panic attack over adulthood
Frank: it's really embarrassing tbh
Frank: im in the hospital
Alice: and I'm pregnant
Dorcas: :0
Remus: WHAT
Benjy: OMG BABY LONGBOTTOM
Frank: thats why I couldn't breathe, Alice thought my body was going into cardiac arrest but really I was just having a panic attack
Emmeline: THATS AMAZING
Barty: thats a bad timing, Em
Barty: CONGRATS!
Alice: THANK YOUUU
Remus: Sirius says congratulations, sorry they were looking over my shoulder
Frank: AHHHH I CANT WAIT
Alice: :)
Dorcas: ooo me and Marlene are dating now
Barty: cool
Barty: I took a really nice photo of regulus once, i can't remember when but shes literally gorgeous wtf
Barty:
Remus: wow
Peter: I keep forgetting about this gc
Peter: CONGRATS ALICE AND FRANK
Peter: CONGRATS DORCAS
Peter: Regulus is pretty!
Alice: ahhhh thank you Pete
Remus: oh Sirius and I are having another date on Tuesday, we're watching a movie at my flat
Benjy: cool I'm getting out of bed rn to go to work bc I don't have a choice
Remus: you do have a choice, if you want to stay home then stay home
Benjy: no. Let me be petty. I love my job.
Party
Sirius: I'm so bored :(
James: okay
Lily: James
James: Lily
James: OMG I JUST FOUND A POUND COIN ON THE GROUND
Remus: gotta pay them bills 😼
Dorcas: use a cat emoji again, I fucking kill you
Remus: can't threaten me when I find death peaceful
Barty: Can't threaten Remus bc he thinks they deserve everything
Emmeline: </3
Barty: im not being fucking funny or anything but I'm at my dads rn and he turned to me from cooking lunch and he said "Barty, you know I love you no matter what, but are you gay?"
Barty: where the fuck has he been
Remus: that's like me asking my mum if she's lesbian
Marlene: LMAOAOAOAO
Barty: I kinda just stared at him for a sec and told him "not necessarily, but I do like men" and then I had to explain the concept of unlabelled and not preferring a label
Remus: do you know when you watch a show on netflix and then you just see and man and you drop to your knees almost immediately
Barty: yeah
Remus: I did that when watching Stranger Things but I actually moaned
Peter: KSJFKSKDKFKFKK
Remus: Steve Harrington can fucking destroy me
Remus: im taking the demi out of sexual
James: are you okay, honey
Remus: no I keep ignoring my therapist
Remus: she's gonna send me to a fucking mental hospital
Dorcas: you said your therapist said you were good to go
Remus: why do you believe me still, I told you your dog went to the shop and never came back after your mum broke its neck to spare you sadness
Dorcas: WHAT
Remus: im joking, ur mum sold it bc she hated it
Dorcas: oh
Remus: but I lie about a lot of things
Remus: but why can't I express my feelings without being sent to a mental hospital
Mary: what are you telling your therapist 💀
Remus: literally everything
Remus: "last night I had an intrusive thought when I was eating an apple and my mind made me imagine it was flesh"
Barty: I have dreams about being kidnapped by a cannibal
Sirius: and I thought my dreams were concerning
Barty: they ate me
Regulus: i bet you tasted nice
Gideon: hello 999 I know a cannibal
James: LMAO
Marlene: she meant sexually
Regulus: istg people are so dumb
Barty <3
Regulus: helloooo
Barty: hey
Regulus: can you come over tonight
Barty: just like every other night?
Regulus: yes
Regulus: plsss
Barty: okay but don't kick me out of the bed bc my invitation expired
Regulus: okayy
Regulus: im gonna hug you sooo much
Regulus: and kiss you!!!!
Regulus: :DDDD
Barty: are you feeling okay?
Regulus: yes!!!!!
Barty: are you sure? Should I cut my lunch with my dad short and come check on you?
Regulus: nooo!!!!!! Have fun with your dad!!!!!!
Barty: no pls I need an excuse
Regulus: I took paracetamols
Barty: plural?
Regulus: yes
Barty: HOW MANY
Regulus: I don't know
Regulus: AHAHAH NVM THEYRE TIC TACS
Barty: oh my fucking god
Regulus: I also am trying to cheer myself up bc for some reason I'm sad and laying on the floor while it rains on me bc im on the grass
Barty: did something happen?
Regulus: I was just doing my normal morning things and I tried to make myself a sandwich and I remembered something that happened with my mum and I had to stop making my sandwich to cry and now I can't be happy for some reason
Barty: my lovely :(
Barty: I'll be coming over soon
Regulus: can you get me cake
Regulus: the white frosting one
Regulus: actually no
Regulus: just get white icing
Barty: okay my love I'll be over soon
Regulus: thank you
Sirius 🤬
Barty: Are you at work
Sirius: no I'm piercing people in my own home you stupid bitch 🙄
Barty: I was just wondering bc Regulus is upset
Sirius: why?
Barty: she had some sort of wave of sadness bc she thought of Walburga when making a sandwich and now she's sitting outside in the rain, thinking that tic tacs were paracetamols
Sirius: ph
Barty: I hope you meant oh not pornhub
Sirius: SHUSH SHUSH
Sirius: are you going there now?
Barty: no I need to get icing, she wanted some
Sirius: oh okay
Sirius: hug her for me
Barty: will do